Chapter 12: Amri

"Goodnight, Damion."

A grunt is the only response I get. It's the only response I've gotten from him in the past six days. I thought when I told him what I wanted, that the worst he could do was say no. Turns out I was wrong. The worst he could do was ignore me. I've apologized and tried to explain myself, but nothing works. The most I ever get is a grunt of recognition, and sometimes I don't even get that.

I shut the door to my bedroom, hoping tonight would be the night that he finally comes back to visit me. I've been staying up later than normal ever since I told him what I wanted and he walked out, but he hasn't come since then. I keep telling myself that maybe his sister, Jyl, is off or stationed somewhere other than the camera room and he can't sneak in, but she joined us at lunch today proving that theory wrong.

She was sweet, introducing herself to Zain and me, but she pretty much ignored us after that. When I asked Damion if we could go on a walk after, and he did his new normal response, I could tell that Jyl was uncomfortable. She left not too long after that, kissing her brother on the cheek and giving me an awkward wave goodbye. Realizing that Damion obviously told his sister what I asked of him made me feel a little weird.

Am I the one in the wrong?

I thought offering him to be with us, as a group, was the one way I could be sure I wouldn't lose him – but maybe I'm being selfish. Four mates, that's pushing it even for Reapers in the Underworld, and Damion is a human on Earth. Of course, he would say no. If a woman has more than one spouse here, she's considered a whore.

God, he probably thinks I'm a whore.

I sigh, going into my bathroom to take a quick shower and get ready for bed. My bathroom doesn't have a door, for safety reasons I guess, so the whole time I'm in there, I'm keeping an ear out for my bedroom door, hoping Damion will come to visit. He never does.

Instead, I lay on my bed for hours, watching the clouds pass over the moon through the barred windows. Eventually, I fall asleep, and the last thing I see is a cloud in the shape of a broken heart making its way across the sky.

I appear in Vincent's bedroom to find it empty. Vincent's been here all week, sometimes with Zain or Callyx joining us, so to find his room empty tonight is a surprise. It doesn't help the emotions I'm feeling, either. Damion's rejection has made my mental health hit a brick wall so hard it knocked some old memories loose, memories I'd be better off forgetting. Since being in Melford and back on my medication, things have been better. My emotions aren't changing direction every few days and I actually have the motivation to shower and brush my teeth, but I can feel the darkness start to creep back in.

Every time I get close to real, true happiness, something fucks it up.

I walk over to the window, looking out at the grim landscape outside. The sky is a burnt orange, and smoke occupies the air instead of clouds. Dead trees litter the yard outside and there's a pathway of black stone leading from the house I'm in…to nowhere about half a mile away. I always assumed the castle in Vincent's painting was the building I'm in now, but looking at the yard, it's different. There are statues and no gate, not like there is in the painting. Even the placement of the trees is wrong. Which brings up the question, what castle is the one in the painting?

"It's dark and twisted, but beautiful if you look at it the right way."

I turn to see Zain behind me. I've gotten better at being able to tell when I'm talking to Zain versus Callyx. They hold themselves differently, with Callyx standing like he's ready to fight at a moment's notice and Zain standing like he couldn't have a care in the world. Their voices are different, too. Callyx's voice is deeper, and harsh in ways that would make a normal person's skin crawl for all the wrong reasons but makes mine crawl for all the right ones. Zain is softer spoken, deliberate in every word he speaks, even when he's pushing your buttons.

I turn back to the window, taking in the scenery with Zain's words in mind. The beauty is not easily found, but I find it anyways. Death surrounds us here, but it only makes life that much more interesting. The trees twist around themselves in unusual ways, and the ground looks like what I imagine desert sand to look like. I've never seen the desert. Even the smoke forms shapes much like the clouds do.

"It is. But there's beauty in death, don't you think? No more pain, no more suffering. Death is the reward for living."

I feel him behind me, not knowing when he walked over to me from his position across the room. His fingers slide their way through my hair, twisting it at the nape of my neck and pulling it up. Confusion and anticipation make their way through my bones. We haven't even kissed yet, me being too nervous to solidify myself to him as well as Vincent, even when they obviously have no issues with doing the same thing.

His breath tickles my ear, and I feel his breathing get harder moments before his lips meet the back of my neck. A shiver rocks its way through my body and my lip part to take in a lungful of air.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, still feeling his body directly behind me.

"Proving to you that this can work. And proving to myself that if I can be happy. Proving to myself that you want me to, and I shouldn't hide away from my feelings any longer."

I close my eyes, taking in his words and going back and forth in my mind about what I want. If I take this step with him, there's no going back, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet. Not with Damion ignoring me. Not with my emotions all mixed up inside. I deserve better. Zain deserves better.

"What if we play a game? "

He chuckles behind me. "I like games. Callyx likes games, too."

I turn around, looking up into his eyes and finding laughter where I normally find malice. "Come with me."

I grab his hand, leading him over to Vincent's bed. I crawl in and smile softly to myself when I feel his gaze on my ass as I remember what Damion said. They fought because Callyx and Zain were talking about my ass. I know the first question I'll be asking him.

"So, what game are we playing?" He slides in the bed after me, lying down and placing his hands under his head.

"Twenty questions." I sit up beside him, close enough for my knee to touch his side.

He laughs. "What? Are we back in middle school?"

"Please? We don't know much about each other and considering our new…relationship, I think we should get to know each other."

"We actually know plenty about you, that's all Vincent did for months is talk about the siren he found, and what made you so special."

"What did he say?" I knew Vincent had found me months before he revealed himself to me, but I didn't know he talked to Zain and Callyx about me.

Zain sighs, "Is that your first question?"

I squeal, smiling wide and clapping my hands. "So that means you'll play?"

"Under two conditions."

My face falls. "And what is that?"

"We have to answer every question truthfully. And with every question we ask, we have to take off a piece of clothing."

"How is that fair? Isn't it supposed to be if you want to skip a question you take off a piece of clothing?"

He shakes his head. "Nope. One piece of clothing per question."

I do a quick count of how many pieces of clothing I'm wearing and how much he's wearing. "But that only leaves me six questions to ask! And you only get five!"

"Four, actually."

"Four?" It takes me a moment to realize what he's insinuating. "Are you going commando, Mr. Vaviri?"

"Is that your first question?"

"Fuck, no. Scratch that."

He laughs at me. Waving his hand for me to ask him my first question.

"What were you and Callyx talking about that made Damion so mad?"

He smiles, pointing at my sock. I take it off and throw it off the bed, rolling my eyes at this new, silly side of him.

"Callyx was talking about how nice your ass is. At first, I didn't listen to him, telling him to be quiet, and then he started talking about bending you over. How hot it would be to be fucking you when you had your mouth around Vince's cock. I ended up yelling for him to stop because of how turned on I was getting just thinking about it."

At some point during his confession, my mouth had dropped open.

"Yep, you'd be making a face exactly like that."

I closed my mouth, blushing at the insinuation and at the image he placed in my mind. I watch as he looks me over, biting his lip as if imagining the same thing I am.

"Um…you're turn."

He takes off a sock, waving it at me before tossing it on the floor. "Why are you at Melford? "

I take a deep breath, knowing I would have had to answer this question for him sooner or later since he and Callyx are the only ones that don't know.

"I tried to kill myself. I got tired of waiting on Vincent to make a move and I figured as a Reaper, he would come, collect my soul, and that would be that. The asshole ended up saving me, though, and calling an ambulance to pick me up and they brought me here for suicide watch."

He nods, his face contemplative as he looks at me.

"Same question for you." I take off my other sock and toss it beside my first one on the floor.

"Well, this is technically my fifth institution across two states. I originally got institutionalized because I killed someone and pled insanity, and because of my history of mental illness, aka Callyx, they granted the plea pretty easily. I got moved around since I would always cause some sort of trouble to get kicked out because Vincent wanted me to find you. His plan was always for you to be institutionalized, but he didn't plan for it to happen that way. He thought you would have some sort of break, or your fiancé would send you to a facility...I remember a night a little over a month ago when he showed up in my dream, he was upset and angry at himself, but he wouldn't tell me why. I'm guessing that was the night you got sent to Melford."

His answer leaves me stunned in shock. He planned for me to be institutionalized. A part of me is angry at him for having this plan and leaving me in the dark, but another part of me understands this needed to happen for me to meet Zain, Callyx, and Damion.

His second sock comes off, and he meets my eyes. "Why have you been so upset lately? "

I don't want to tell him about the conversation between me and Damion, so I decide to go with a half-truth. "Some old memories have come up recently."

He stays silent, waiting for me to continue, but I don't say anything until I remember what question I wanted to ask after his last answer. "Who did you kill?"

"Clothes."

I look over my body, wondering if I should take off my pants or shirt. I decide on my shirt and slide it off, watching his eyes roam over my body as he takes a deep breath.

"My mother."

He gives me a short answer in return for how I answered his last question. Fine, I deserved that. I guess I already have my next question ready then. He slides off his shirt and I watch as it flies across the room.

His body looks like it's made from stone, all edges and hard muscles. I allow my eyes to travel down his chest, his stomach with the light blonde happy trail that leads into the deep V outlining his waist. Oh…my…God. I swear I start to drool. I've never seen a more perfect body than the one on the man in front of me. Vincent and Damion have great bodies, not that I've even seen Damion with anything less than his nurse scrubs, but Zain and Callyx are bigger, in every way considering the bulge in his pants.

"What memories are causing you to get so upset?"

Ugh, I should have known this was coming. I hoped it would let it go, since it was so obvious I didn't want to elaborate earlier, but he's not making this game easy on me.

"A few of them. My father…he did things to me when I was younger. It started off as a few leering looks, but it quickly turned into more when his drinking habit got wo rse. The touching started when I was about seven. When I was nine, he…"

Zain grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly in his. "You don't have to say it."

I nod. "Anyway, after that, it was hard for me to love myself, and to think I was worthy of love. I thought it was my fault, something I did wrong or…something. I didn't know how someone else could ever love me. I guess that's one of the reasons why it's so hard for me to understand this relationship Vincent is proposing. I didn't ever think one person could love me, let alone more. I think that's why I dealt with Timothy's shit for so long, because I thought I wasn't worthy of love. I thought I was getting what I deserved."

A tear slides down my face and I quickly wipe it off, not wanting Zain to see me in a moment of weakness.

"Hey."

I look at him to see him sitting up. He takes my face in his hands, bringing me close and kissing my cheek where I wiped the tear away.

"You do deserve love. You deserve to be loved and feel loved. We'll make sure you do, all of us."

I nod, taking in his words and smiling softly. He squeezes my hand, looking down at them before I see his body freeze.

"What?"

He reaches out and runs his fingers over the scars on my wrist. "If you ever, ever do something to harm yourself ever again, you'll have me to answer to."

I look down to where his gaze is, seeing the pale white scars that adorn my wrist. "Okay," I whisper.

"It's your turn. "

I lay back on the bed, letting go of his hand so I can slide my pants off. When he added the stripping part to the game, I was nervous; but I can feel myself getting more and more comfortable with every answer we give each other.

"Why did you kill your mother?"

He lays back down on the bed beside me, once again taking my hand. "My mother was a drug addict. And she realized when I was about ten that when she was low on drug money, she could sell her son to get more."

I gasp, shaking my head at the inclination behind his words.

He nods back to me. "Yep. Multiple times a week for four years she sold my body to people so she could get another high. When I turned fourteen, I realized it wasn't right. I had enough of it. So, I left. I lived on the streets for a while and then started working as a busboy for a restaurant a few towns over. I worked my way up and built a life for myself, and I could finally go to the doctor for the extra voice in my head. That's when I was diagnosed with MPD. Then I met Vincent. We quickly started up a relationship and I thought things were going great until one day, my mother walked into my restaurant. All the memories and emotions fell over me, and Callyx being Callyx, took matters into his own hands. I got institutionalized and Vincent found you not too long after, that's when he came up with his plan."

I let out a breath of air, taking in his words. Being through a similar situation, I feel for him. I want to wrap him in my arms and promise him that everything's okay. I want to go back in time and kill his mother myself for what she did to him. Yes, my experience was horrible. Beyond horrible, actually; but what his mother did to him was worse. Multiple times a week for years…

I shake my head, preparing to tell Zain that I think we're done with the game. We've both shared so much tonight, and I don't know if my heart can handle anymore. He beats me to it, though, as he quickly shoves his pants off.

My eyes widen, the bulge I saw in his pants wasn't lying, the man is huge. So huge, that I can't help but to wonder how the hell that would ever fit inside me. I'm so preoccupied staring at his naked body that I don't realize he's moving until it's too late. He covers my body with his, pinning my arms to the bed above me as he hovers over me. Flashbacks slam into my mind, but I push them all away. Zain isn't my father. Zain isn't Timothy.

"One last question, little bunny."

I smile at his words. Every single one of them has a different nickname for me. I'm Vincent' siren, Callyx's kitten, and now I'm Zain's bunny. Even Damion has a nickname for me – Ree.

He leans down, bringing his mouth up to my ear. His breath tickles me, but a single breath has never felt more erotic. I arch my back, pushing my hips into his and whining when I don't feel the friction I crave.

"Do you want me to kill your father for you?"

My eyes widen at his question. My heart beats faster and despite my warring thoughts, a smile comes across my lips. "You would do that for me?"

"Bunny, I would do anything for you."

I squeeze his hands in mine while my body subconsciously reaches for him again, and this time he grants my wish. His lips meet mine, stealing breath I would have given to him willingly. His body presses mine into the mattress and I wish I had asked two more questions so I could be naked with him, so I could fully feel him against me instead of having my bra and underwear in between us.

I moan into his mouth as he releases my hands and allows me to wrap my fingers in his hair, using it as leverage to pull him as close as possible. I want him closer. Closer. Closer. I want to crawl inside him and feel what he's feeling. I want him to consume him. I want him to consume me.

His lips leave mine and slide down my neck, sucking my sensitive skin between his teeth and nipping me before leaving a gentle kiss over the bite. I moan out his name, wrapping my legs around him and grinding myself into his body.

I feel his fingers slide into the waistband of my underwear, and I lift my hips to help him slide them off, but a throat clearing interrupts us. I shoot up, covering what I can of myself with my hands before laughing when I realize who it is.

"You couldn't have stayed quiet for five more minutes?"

Vincent laughs when Zain looks over at me with surprise in his eyes.

"I promise you, bunny, what I had planned for you would have taken a lot more than five minutes."

Vincent walks over to the side of the bed. "Zain, you know there are things more pressing when it comes to Amri than getting her naked, right?"

Zain nods, sighing deeply. "I know, but you can't blame me, Vince."

Vincent rolls his eyes.

"What do you mean, Vincent?" I lower my hands, realizing that I don't feel the embarrassment or shame I normally would if I were caught in this situation with anyone else.

"Meaning, training starts tomorrow."

I groan while Zain laughs beside me. "Let the fun begin."