13. Selene

13

SELENE

I fall asleep on the ride back to Dane’s compound. It’s probably for the best, since he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me anyway.

The difference between last night and today is uncanny. Where did that passionate, affectionate, and determined man go? Why has this melancholy, angry guy taken his place? And how do I get the original back?

Then it hits me, that maybe this is the real Dane, and the persona he showed me last night is the facade. Maybe he’s one of those guys who’s really good at making you feel wanted and special when they really could take or leave you?

As much as his attitude has hurt my feelings, I don’t believe that about Dane, however. I still think that he’s a decent man on the inside. But he’s a decent man with baggage, clearly, and that baggage is getting in between us in the worst possible way.

Even when I stir from my slumber, head resting on the passenger side window, I try not to give any sign that I’m no longer asleep. It just seems a lot less awkward if I pretend.

In a way, the sleepiness is a blessing. I don’t have to feel anxious about not speaking to Dane, since I’m about to pass out anyway when we return to the compound. I collapse into the bed, barely taking the time to slip off my shoes and bra without taking off my shirt.

I sleep the sleep of the dead, ironically enough given the show I work on. When I awaken, the afternoon sun beams through the compound windows. Dane is nowhere on the rumpled sheets. I get up and pad on bare feet into the living room and find him slumbering on the sofa.

Seeing him asleep hits me like a slap in the face. If he’d been awake and doing something, it would have been different. But now it just seems like he’s trying to avoid me, and that hurts.

I go back to bed and try to sleep, but it’s too late. My mind has come fully on-line and works itself up too much for me to return to slumber. Instead, I lay there on the bed and stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out where I went wrong with Dane.

Thinking back to it, things were going great until after we slept together. Then he went out to ‘check security’ or whatever he wanted to call it. In truth, that was when his avoidant behavior first began.

He’s only gotten worse since then. I don’t know how long I lay there, staring up at the ceiling before drifting back to sleep. The sound of Dane’s phone awakens me. I hear him stir in the living room, then answer the call with a slumber-heavy voice.

“What’s up?”

I can’t make out who’s on the other end or what they are saying. But I can hear the excitement in Dane’s voice when he responds.

“No shit? Where? Hang on, hang on, let me find a pen or something…or you could just text it. Yeah, text it, text it! I’ve got to move fast before he goes on the move again.”

Is he talking about my brother? I rush into the living room just as he ends the call.

“What’s going on, Dane?” I ask.

He starts at the sound of my voice. His eyes remain inscrutable as he looks up at me.

“The office has been working some angles on this case for me. They just fingered a possible person of interest we really need to speak with. ”

“Oh. Who? Is it someone who will know how to find Justin?”

He cocks an eyebrow at me.

“Maybe. It’s William Petty, the guy I mentioned earlier. I don’t want to get your hopes up too much, but he’s a well-known associate of the Moreno family.”

“Associate? Like a friend?”

Dane grunts as he pulls on his boots and laces them up with efficient moves. The tendons stand out in stark relief on his hands as he pulls the laces tight.

“More like an unofficial member of the mob. Petty’s not Italian, so he’s not a member of the family. But he does work for them.”

“What kind of work?” I ask.

“Nothing too hands on. He’s a Cleaner, as in he takes illegitimate money and makes it look legit by funneling it through various shell companies, among other tasks. I guess you could say he’s a subcontractor for white collar crimes.”

“Everybody's got to earn a living somehow,” I say. “All right, so what are we going to do? Are you going to shake him down for information?”

“If I have to,” he says. “Listen, it’s not safe for me to leave you alone, but Petty could be dangerous, too.”

“You want me to stay in the car? Or maybe I should just get in the trunk, I’ll be super safe in there.”

Dane’s mouth twitches a scowl. “I’m serious, Selene. Don’t let your guard down, not even for a moment.”

“All right,” I say, more stiffly than I intend.

We don’t talk much on the way back into town. I make a few forays into conversation, or an attempt at one, before his terse answers irk me and I stop. Now I’m starting to think that it might be a good thing that we’ve found this lead in Petty.

The sooner we find my brother, the sooner I can get away from Dane. I thought I liked him. Hell, I thought he liked me! But now I’m starting to think he got all that he wanted from me already. I never should have slept with him. That was dumb. I let myself believe that there was a connection going on between us. A real, true connection .

I sure feel stupid now. This whole thing can’t end soon enough. Please, God, let us find Justin soon so I don’t have to keep feeling hurt and ignored by Dane.

My phone dings, and I reach for it eagerly. I don’t care who it is, even if it’s a spam text I’m going to answer it. Anything to get out of this miserable, heavy silence.

To my delight, it’s one of my girlfriends, Chloe.

Girl, I’m at your place, where u at? HMU and let’s go get a pedi

A smile stretches over my lips as I text back.

I’m not home and won’t be for a few days at least. Believe it or not, my life is in danger.

It takes about fifteen minutes of back and forth texts for me to fully explain the situation with Moreno and my brother.

OMG, I’m getting TF out of here, then, in case the mafia comes back. Are you all right?

I’m fine, physically. I’m kind of pissed at myself RN tho.

Why?

I confess to my shenanigans with Dane. Chloe is her typically subtle and supportive self.

Sheesh you just met the guy.

Like literally yesterday but…

Under no circumstances.

Think I’m judging you.

She hammers out about a dozen emoji as I roll my eyes and groan at her antics. Eggplant, rain, and so on.

“Okay, I have to ask, what’s so funny?”

I snap my gaze over to Dane. Oddly, even though I'd been talking about him, I kind of forgot he was even here.

I open my mouth to explain, then close it and finally just show him the screen.

“Take a look at the first letter of each sentence.”

His eyes narrow with concentration as he quickly puzzles it out.

“Oh, nice,” he says with a snicker, returning his eyes to the road. “I take it this is a friend of yours?”

“Yeah, Chloe’s pure savage. ”

You should try sending her your own acrostic message.”

“My own what?”

“Acrostic. It’s the technical term for what Chloe did when she called you an, um, you know–hey.”

His eyes widen and he snaps a sharp glance my way.

“Did you tell her that we…”

“Had sex? Was it supposed to be a secret or something? Just because you’re ashamed of it now doesn’t mean I am.”

“When did I say I was ashamed of it?”

“Look out!”

He jerks the wheel, getting us back into the proper lane.

“I never said I was ashamed,” he says.

“Then why don’t you want to talk about it?”

His silence lasts just a little bit too long.

“Because we don’t need to talk about it.”

What’s that supposed to mean? Is he trying to say that it was just a physical thing? Or is he trying to put me off because he’s scared of catching the feels, too?

“Okay, fine. Let’s not talk about it.”

I heave a sigh and look at the phone screen again.

“Selene…”

“No, no, you don’t want to talk, so I’m not going to force you to.”

Dane sighs and grows silent. Grumpy and silent.

Now he’s grumpy because I told you we slept together.

We slept together? When did that happen? Did you spike my drink or something?

I shake my head as I type my response.

Be serious for a second. I think I might really like this guy. Keep getting mixed signals tho.

The dots on screen dance for a long time while I wait for her response. If I know Chloe, that means she’s typing and then deleting and then typing a response repeatedly.

At last, a big block of text appears on the screen.

Gurl you want it you go and get it. I believe in you. And if this guy isn’t absolutely cray cray about you, then it’s his loss! The biggest thing to know is how he answers the Question. You always said that was the citrus test.

I chuckle and type my response.

Litmus test. Not citrus test. And I haven’t had a chance to ask him yet.

You slept with him before you asked the question? You really do like him. Hang in there, gurl.

I look over at Dane as we roll into the shabby outskirts of LA. Should I ask him the Question right now? It kind of seems like a bad time. I just don’t know how to get past this awkwardness. And part of me thinks he should be the one to get us past it.

Dane turns to me and cocks an eyebrow. “What?”

I start to reply, but stop myself. “Nothing. Is this the place?”

He nods as we both turn our gazes to the Fallen Star hotel. Outdoor access rooms face onto a crumbling concrete balcony with rusted iron railing. Most of the windows have the curtains tightly drawn.

A shabbily dressed man shuffles past, swaying with a heavy drunk. He turns bleary eyes our way, but nothing registers in his gaze. Whatever he's seeing, it’s not us.

“Do we have any idea which room he’s in?” I ask.

“No.” Dane takes a long pull from his water bottle and then screws the cap on with an adroit twist. “We only know he used a credit card to pay for a room here.”

“If this guy works for Moreno, why doesn't he have the money to afford better lodgings?”

Dane grunts. “Because he’s not here to catch some Z’s, or because his apartment is being fumigated. He’s here because this kind of place doesn't ask questions and does not have security cameras.”

He turns his gaze to me and a chill runs through my body.

“He’s here to do business of some sort. Hopefully it’s nothing too messy. I want to tail this guy and get information, not shoot him because he’s doing something…sordid.”

“You think Moreno would tolerate him being like that? I thought the mob was all about honor.”

He snorts. “The mob is all about making money and holding onto their power. The honor among thieves thing is pure bullshit they like to spout to make themselves feel better. They’re just criminals and murderers and thieves like any others. Just because they wear a three-piece suit and donate money to the local orphanage doesn't make them heroes.”

“I never said they were. Jeez, this really pisses you off, doesn’t it?”

He gives me a look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it upsets you that the mafia is afforded a certain degree of respect and even hero worship by the public. Which makes sense, seeing as you actually served your country and kept people safe.”

Dark clouds obscure Dane’s face. He turns his gaze back to pierce through the windshield.

“I served my country, but I didn’t do a very good job of keeping people safe.”

There’s venom in his voice, but it’s directed only at himself, not me.

“What’s that mean?” I ask softly.

“Nothing.”

His eyes widen, his body tensing like a panther about to pounce.

“What are you doing?”

“Petty. I just spotted him, and he’s on the move.”