Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Jaxon

M y breath left me on a grunt when Zeppelin suddenly wrapped his tattooed hand around my throat and pushed me back against the couch. He straddled my thighs, resting his ass near my knees, his other hand pressing into the couch cushion beside my head. My lips parted on a shaky inhale, the addictive scent of him filling my nostrils and making me a bit dizzy. He smelled of something woodsy—something rich and earthy.

“You’ve been quiet,” he said, cocking his head to the side the slightest bit, taking me in like a predator who’d just caught their prey. I tried to ignore the way my cock reacted to his predatory gaze. “You can’t run from us, Jaxon.”

I sighed tiredly. I was weary down to my bones. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. Wasn’t eating enough—couldn’t when my appetite was non-existent. I didn’t even want coffee anymore. And fuck, I honestly couldn’t even remember the last time I’d showered. If Penelope wasn’t haunting my dreams, then Zeppelin and Eros were. And my thoughts were plagued by them in the daytime. How was I truly expected to function at one hundred percent like this?

“You push too much,” I told him, hating how tired my voice sounded. “You can’t take no for an answer. Showing up at my house just because you’re not getting your way and you’re not getting what you want is toxic and worthy of the cops being called.”

A cruel smirk twisted Zeppelin’s lips, and he leaned in so close, his lips brushed mine. My heart skipped a beat in my chest. “Do it,” Zeppelin dared, breathing the words into my mouth. My mind went a little hazy, and I hated that I relaxed a bit despite him pushing me again . “I dare you to call the cops on us, baby.”

I shut my eyes, my head beginning to pound. Zeppelin slid his hand up my throat and around my skull to slide his thick fingers into my hair. His nails scraped lightly over my scalp, and I groaned, sinking deeper into the couch. His lips moved over my cheek, his stubble scraping along my two-day beard. “Just give in, baby,” he purred in my ear before nuzzling my cheek. “Give us what we want, and we can take care of you. We’ll take such good care of you, Jax.”

I turned my head, so tired of fighting this. I just wanted to sleep without being haunted by them or my dead wife. I wanted rest . My mind needed time to just be blissfully quiet.

Zeppelin took the hint and captured my mouth with his, kissing me slowly and deeply. The kiss was dirty but somehow sweet at the same time. My cock rallied, hardening in my sweatpants, but neither of us paid it any mind. I groaned, letting him take control, letting him lead me. For once, I didn’t have to think. I could just follow and let Zeppelin take the reins.

“That’s it,” Zeppelin murmured against my lips. “ God , you’re addictive.” Leaning back, he slid his hand around to cup my cheek. I could just make out the words, “your throat here” on his hand, and a husky laugh spilled from my lips at the sight of it. Of course, Zeppelin would have that tattooed on him.

Zeppelin stood from my lap, and Eros handed me a plate with a slice of pizza. My gut churned at the sight of it. Eros sat beside me and gripped my thigh, stroking his fingers along my inner thigh. I shivered. “I know you’re not hungry, but I promised Spencer I’d make sure you’d eat. It’s the smallest slice from the box.” He gave me those pretty puppy eyes, and I was a goner. “Please eat it.”

I stared at the slice of pizza for a moment longer before I picked it up and bit off a piece. I chewed slowly, my stomach threatening to revolt. Eros pressed his hand to my back and brushed his thumb back and forth, soothing me. Zeppelin began cleaning up my living room, and when I finally had the whole slice of pizza down in my churning stomach, he silently took the plate from me and carried it to the kitchen.

“Come on,” Eros said, standing from the couch. He held his hand out to me, and after a moment, I placed mine in his, letting him pull me up from the couch. “You need a shower and sleep.”

“Yeah,” I rasped. I nodded. “Okay. Um… just make yourselves at home, I guess.” I was so tired of fighting them. Of fighting this. I was just so tired . Bone deep weary and exhausted.

I dropped his hand and headed down the hall to my room, Ash coming out of nowhere to follow closely at my heels, purring all the way. I closed my bedroom door behind me and stripped out of my two-day-old clothes before padding naked to the connected bathroom. I stepped into the shower and then turned the water on, flinching when the icy water hit my skin before quickly heating.

For a while, I just stood there under the water, letting it steam up my bathroom and bedroom. I scratched at my jaw, hating the stubble there. Christ, I was a mess. How had I let myself get this bad? I hadn’t even gotten so lost in my head when Penelope passed.

But then again, I had Spencer to think about. I had to be strong for him. But now, my son didn’t really need me anymore—not now that he had Logan and Ezra. He had his own small family apart from me now.

My life was a mess. A mess I didn’t know how to handle anymore. Didn’t know how to organize again either.

I quickly bathed and washed my hair and the scruff on my jaw before toweling off. After wrapping the towel around my waist, I padded barefoot to my bed and sat on the edge, grabbing the picture of Penelope off my nightstand. Her blonde hair was done in perfect waves, and she was laughing, her eyes bright and full of life. The way she’d looked before ovarian cancer ate away at her.

We’d taken this picture two years before we found out she had cancer. She was so healthy then. So lively. So fucking bright.

And now, she was a parasite sucking the life out of me. How had someone I’d worshipped for half my life turned into something so toxic?