Chapter Sixteen

Rakeem

When Haze called me this morning to bring Journei to his house, I couldn't move around then. I was the only one with Lu since her mother had a doctor's appointment. When she came back, I met up with my brother at the freight yard to handle some business before I had to go back in. These days, I didn't stay out long because Lucretia was literally in her last days. Like now, I was at the yard with my brother, but I didn't plan on being here long. We just had a few last-minute things to handle and then I'll be taking it back in.

"So, how did you end up with Rue and her baby at your house?" I asked him as we sat in his office.

"I called her after I left from checking in on Ma and Pops. Her tone was off, so I went straight to her, and she told me what her bitch ass baby did. I wanted to go kill that nigga right then, but I knew I couldn't do that without it leading back to her, so I told her to just pack a bag so they could with me. That way, I could keep a better eye on them."

I nodded because I knew all too well about wanting to be able to protect the people you care about.

"What do you plan on doing about her situation?" I asked.

"I asked her to marry me," he blurted.

"You did what?"

"You heard me. I asked her to marry me. I'm supposed to get married anyway, right?" he declared.

"Yeah, but do you really think that's a good idea? I know I mentioned asking her, but that was before her baby daddy started his bullshit. We don't need that nigga in the middle of our shit," I voiced.

"He won't be. If she marries me, I can help her beat that muthafucka at his own game and she'll be able to keep her daughter. We can continue business as usual with The RCF and it's a win-win for everybody," he explained.

I sat silent for a minute until a smile crept across my face.

"I guess congratulations are in order, then." I slapped hands with my brother.

"You remember the day I had Journei go to the house with Lu and Peace?"

He nodded.

"Well, when I got back home, Journei had bathed and fed both Peace and Lu. Of course Lu didn't eat, but she washed her up for me and wash and braided her hair. I wasn't expecting her to be so content with doing that shit. But you know what was really crazy?"

"What?"

"Lu told me that Journei was the woman to help me love again. She said she saw her n her dreams and that's why she was comfortable around her," I confessed.

"Damn, that's deep. What you think?" he asked.

Before I could respond, I fished my ringing phone out of my pocket. When I looked at it, I saw it was Lu's sister, Jalissa, calling. My heart rate picked up immediately.

"Wassup, Lissa?" I answered.

Her sobs told me everything I needed to know, so there was nothing to be said.

"I'm on the way." I got up and didn't have to say anything to my brother because he was following suit. It felt like I was floating as I got in my truck and speed out of the parking lot. I don't remember stopping at one traffic light and I don't even know if I stopped for any stop signs. I just had to get to the house before they took her body away from me.

When I pulled up to the house, Haze was right behind me, along with our parents. I went straight inside and into the guest room, where I found Teresa and Jalissa on either side of Lu, each holding her hand and crying. My feet were stuck. I couldn't move. Even though I was prepared for this day, who can really be prepared for the death of a loved one? Watching her mother and sister cry over her lifeless body took a toll on me and I snapped.

"Fuuuck!" I punched the wall repeatedly.

"Rock! Bro, chill!" I heard Haze's voice, but I was in a zone. I was fucking hurt. My heart was shattered and there was no way that I could repair it.

"Daddy!" Hearing my daughter's cries broke me out of my trance. She was sitting in the chair beside her aunt and had tears running down her face. I'm positive she didn't realize what was going on, but because of the way I just acted, she was more than likely scared.

"Get yourself together, son. You still have to be strong for your daughter," my father said.

"I called the nurse," my mother informed.

"And Knas 'nem on the way to pick her up," Haze reported.

I couldn't respond. What was I supposed to say?

I slowly walked over to her bed and Jalissa got up so that I could sit closer to her. Picking my baby up and sitting her in my lap, I grabbed Lu's hand and kissed it.

"I know you were leaving us, but damn. I needed you to fight a little longer, Lu. What am I supposed to do without you?" I cried. "What is Peace supposed to do without you? She needs you, baby. I need you," I cried. I didn't give a fuck what nobody said. You could put the coldest gangster in a room with a bunch of killers and he won't break a sweat. Put that same gangster in a room where his loved one lies lifeless and watch how fast he's broken down to his knees.

I don't know how long I sat there and cried. Peace eventually fell asleep in my arms, but I couldn't move myself to lay her down.

"Baby, the men from the funeral home are here," my mother came in to tell me. She took Peace from my arms and carried her upstairs to her room. I was relieved she was still asleep because I didn't want her to see them carry her mother out covered in a sheet.

I looked up and saw Knasim and Knight walk through the door, along with two other men.

"Wassup, Rock. You have my condolences, brother. I know you already had her services planned out but don't worry about the bill. We'll cover it," Knas stated.

"I can't let y'all do that," I protested.

"It's already done," he stated.

"Let us know if your or the family need anything. We got you," Knight offered.

I only nodded because I was too focused on them unhooking Lu's tubes to say anything. When they were about to lift her and place her on the gurney, I intervened.

"I got it," was all I said before going to the bed and lifting her in my arms. I inhaled her scent as I held her tight. This would be the last time that I would be able to do this.

Once I placed her on the gurney, I kissed her lips before covering her body up with the white sheet. I followed closely behind them as they carried her outside. When they started loading into the back of the hearse, realization hit me that this was it. She was gone. I started moving toward the hearse. I had to get her. I wasn't ready for her to leave me yet.

"Move," I pushed the worker out of the way.

"Rakeem!" I heard my mother, but I couldn't address her. I had to get Lu.

"Lu, get up, baby. Get up!" I yelled.

"We need to take her," the other worker said as I tried to loosen the straps that were holding her down.

"Nigga, back the fuck up!" I barked.

"Bro, come on. Let them take her," Haze reasoned.

"Nah. I need to take her back inside. She'll be fine. I'll get the doctor back over here and he'll give her the medicine she needs, and she'll be alright." I tried convincing myself.

"Son." That was my pops. "Come on, son. Let them do their job." He and Haze were holding me back from going back into the truck.

Once I was out of the way, they shut the door and left. I struggled against my father and brother to get to Lu. All she needed was for me to make it better.

"Lu!" I cried out in agony.

"It's okay, son. It's okay." My father soothed me as he embraced me.

This shit couldn't be real, but I had to face it. This was now my reality. One without Lu in it.

∞∞∞

Lu's body had been gone for a few hours now and I was still sitting in the room staring at the bed that she once occupied. I didn't bother with moving until my brother came inside of the room to get me.

"Rock," he called out. "I called Rue, and she's about to pull up. She has Journei with her," he explained.

I hadn't reached out to her in a few days and, if I'm being honest, I didn't know if I wanted to be around her now. I simply nodded and remained seated as he left back out of the room. I sat back in the recliner that was by the bed and closed my eyes. I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes if I wanted to. I've been with Lu since I was twenty-one and she was nineteen. That's five years of loving the same person. How do I get over that so easily? Was that even possible?

I heard the room door open, but I didn't bother to open my eyes. Whoever it was would make their presence known. I felt someone kneel in front of me and my eyes shot open. Journei was kneeling in front of me, wiping the tears from my face.

"I'm sorry, bestie." Her voice croaked.

Just hearing her voice made me break down worse than I already was. I cried like a baby in her arms, and she let me. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life and this woman let me. The only other woman who allowed me to be in such a state besides my mother was Lucretia.

"I'm here with whatever you need, bestie. Just say the word," she offered.

Lifting my head off of her shoulder, I simply said, "Stay with me."