Chapter 9 Zen like Sardines

"He read a book in front of you?!" Maya exclaimed as she lay her yoga mat on the floor. Leah did the same, although there was barely enough space for hers to fit. Leah nodded. Maya's tone made her feel very troubled by the situation. She had thought maybe it was endearing. He was nerdy and smart and loved books! How could that be a bad thing?

Maya lay on her back and started stretching her legs up to the ceiling. She'd invited Leah to join her for free yoga after work at Yoga to the People, a large brownstone on St. Marks that held almost hourly yoga sessions free of charge. Well, donation-based, Maya had clarified, but no one judges people who don't pay. "Yoga needs to be accessible to all," she'd explained and now Leah knew what she meant. They'd met for a class after work and the entire room was checkered with yoga mats. There was no space to walk between the brightly colored rectangles. Leah wondered what happened when the instructor told everyone to lift their arms. How many people would get a finger in the face? Who would topple over ?

"I think it was kind of sweet," Leah responded. "I mean, he hadn't planned on being with me. He said he'd been looking forward to reading all day!" She sat down with her feet together and pretended to stretch. She'd done yoga a few times before, enough to know that there were multiple warriors. She'd almost told Maya she'd just meet her after yoga, for dinner or something. Standing in a room of sweaty people after work wasn't exactly her idea of fun, but when she moved to New York she had promised herself she'd be open to new experiences. She'd say yes to anything that didn't seem overly dangerous or irresponsible. Yoga might have swayed toward dangerous, but she'd reminded herself of her promise. So far, she'd been doing great with it. She'd said yes to Indian food, and a crowded dive bar! She'd said yes to happy hour and street food! She'd even said yes to working at Club Business for God's sake!

"I guess," Maya responded. "Did he kiss you after?"

Leah blushed, remembering the kiss outside her building. How her face tingled and she had wanted the kiss to keep going. How she'd imagined the feeling of his lips on hers the rest of the night.

"Welcome to yoga," a woman said softly. Leah couldn't see her, but immediately everyone in the class sat on their legs. "We'll start in a child's pose." Leah looked around and copied the person in front of her, placing her forehead on the mat that was slightly damp and smelled of stale sweat. "You can place your arms by your sides, palms up, or for a more active pose, reach them out in front of you." Leah opted to keep her palms up by her side. Yoga wasn't so difficult after all. Leah breathed according to the instructions whispered from somewhere in the room. Funny how even a whisper carried throughout the entire hall, where at least a hundred people were packed like sardines to experience Zen.

Leah could use a little Zen. Aside from being completely distracted by thoughts of Gabe, she'd just finished her second day at work, where she was able to finish the TCR by lunchtime. She'd waited for her colleagues to invite her to lunch, but they had left quietly without saying anything and she later snuck out to buy a sandwich by herself. She'd thought about texting Gabe and asking if his invite for lunch was still open, but she hadn't wanted to seem desperate. Desperate was worse than eating a sandwich by yourself in a cubicle. She'd passed Malcolm's cubicle when she brought her sandwich in. He was eating sushi and gave her a curt smile as she walked by as though he didn't want to be bothered. She wondered if she had offended him by not showing up to salsa the previous night. Maybe everyone went to salsa and they thought she was a snob for not showing up! She'd go next week, she reasoned. Salsa was not something she had meant to say no to, she really had meant to say, next time.

When Maya had texted her, she'd jumped for an evening with a friend. Sure, she wasn't excited about yoga, but Maya had assured her that the studio was on St. Marks, as though that was supposed to mean something to her. She'd Googled it and learned it was one of Manhattan's most notable streets with retailers, bars, and a history of pop culture. It had apparently been a hang-out spot for gangsters, musicians, poets, artists, hippies, and more recently, a plethora of homeless people. She had to see it!

Leah stood to chair pose upon instruction. She lifted her arms as high as she could, which seemed just above parallel to the floor, and pressed her legs together at a right angle. Her thighs burned and she slowly felt herself standing up even while the instructor challenged everyone to get lower. When the instructor invited everyone to forward fold, Leah almost fell to the floor. She looked to Maya, who gracefully clung to her elbows with her eyes closed, her body almost completely folded in half. "Half-way lift," the instructor said, and everyone flattened their backs. Leah continued copying the people around her as the instructor led them through a series of warriors and other tortuous positions. Leah had only wacked her neighbors twice and felt relief when the instructor told everyone to lie down on their backs. Leah waited in silence until a gong rang. She slowly sat up, watching the people around her lie still as if paralyzed. She waited for Maya to sit up, trying not to awkwardly stare at anyone.

"So, what'd you think?" Maya asked, an expectant smile on her face.

"It was…nice."

"I desperately need that after sitting in front of a desk all day." Maya worked as a paralegal at a law firm. She spent most of her day reading documents, filing things, and answering phone calls from clients that the firm's lawyers didn't want to talk to. "Want to get dinner? There's a great Vietnamese sandwich shop nearby and they have cheap beers."

Leah nodded as she lifted her yoga mat and hung it up to dry on the bar around the room like everyone else was doing. Then she grabbed her purse from a cubby and pulled out her wallet to give a donation to the instructor who was standing by the door holding an empty tissue box where people stuffed in money. She smiled warmly, thanking everyone who walked out, even those who didn't donate. Leah dropped in five dollars, hoping she didn't look cheap. Outside, she grabbed her phone to see if she'd missed anything. There was a text from her mom: Was today your first day at work? How was it? Another from her sister Shira: Did you have lunch with your work friends? And a third from Gabe. Leah's heart jumped as she opened the message. Instead of waiting to run into each other again, how about we plan on dinner tomorrow? I'll meet you by your building at 9.

She forgot about the texts from her mom and sister and immediately responded to Gabe. Sounds great. But don't bring your book if we have to take the subway . No, she deleted that. It sounded mean. Sounds great. It was all she sent. She felt like she needed a longer response, something to confirm the meeting and make it official, but nothing seemed right.

"Here we are," Maya said, stopping in front of a dimly lit storefront. She popped inside and Leah followed. The shop was dark and damp and Leah wondered if there were health inspections on St. Marks. But Maya was right about the sandwiches. Leah couldn't be sure exactly what she was eating, she'd ordered chicken but based on the taste and texture, she couldn't be sure that was what she'd gotten. Whatever it was, it was good. They ordered cheap beers that didn't have any English written on the can and talked about their jobs. Leah told Maya about Malcolm and how she didn't quite understand him.

"Well, I'm definitely going to salsa with you next week!" Maya said and Leah was relieved and excited to have a friend go with her. When they finished their beers, they walked to the Subway, now empty since rush hour was long over.