Chapter 5

Five

Magnolia

A couple of weeks later and I feel like I live on coffee and sex. There’s a fresh cup pressed into my hand. I take it, gulp it down, and get back to work. There are only two days left to tie up loose ends for the Christmas gala and I have plans on telling the owners it will be my last event for a while if they allow me to take a leave of absence. I talked about taking some time off with my men and they practically offered to write my letter of resignation for me. It is obvious that they heard what they wanted—that I’m resigning.

Poor guys. I’ll have to break it to them that I’m not quitting, but that conversation can come later.

Right now, I need to focus, or I will never finish. Twenty sheets of random paper are strewn about in front of me on the floor in controlled chaos.

“We will need to take down this partition and open this side to make room for the ice sculptures. And the Christmas tree will need to take up the opposite side of the ballroom.”

I mark up a sheet of paper with the removable glass walls for a small group of men tasked with the workload.

“And the champagne fountain?”

We brought in additional help to set up for this year’s Christmas ball taking place in two days. Directing twenty newcomers is taking every bit of my mental powers, but I love seeing all the garland, crystals, and twinkling lights finally making it into place.

“Let’s put the fountain near the Frasier fir. The settees will need to circle the stage where the Santas will be featured with their helping elf. Let’s make sure to bring in the larger lounges. The harems are getting bigger, and the members need more space. Oh, and let’s make sure the ice sculpture is on this side of the ballroom. We don’t need anyone freezing their nipples off.”

A bright smile breaks out over a young brunette’s face. “Is this your first time, Zoey?” She’s a year or two younger than me and her cheeks could not be redder. If sex talk makes her blush now, wait until the real events start. She’s set to pass out warm towels to the members once the lights dim and the Santas unwrap their present.

“First time, yes ma’am.” She holds my gaze despite the blush on her cheeks. She has several piercings up the rim of one ear and there’s no hiding the ones in her nipples through the white of her uniform. She’s a wild child, and I bet her choice of employment would not surprise her parents most likely.

“You’ll do just fine.” I give her a wink and hand her the hourly schedule for her towel rounds. “Be precise on your timing with the members. They count on having all the pleasures and comforts at hand with a simple snap of their fingers.”

She dips her head in understanding and moves on to her tasks, leaving me to my thoughts. It’s been one thing after another for so many days I haven’t had a quiet moment to think of anything except party details and babies. Not necessarily in that order.

Today is no different. I gather the various papers on the floor and organize them on my desk next to five more haphazard piles of papers. I came back from New Orleans with new ideas to present to the owners. Rune helped me draw them up down to the dimensions and how many members we can fit into the new private booths complete with their own towel warmers. I hope it helps smooth over things when I ask for some time off.

Evening is setting in and it’s almost time for members to arrive. Though the gala isn’t tonight, there are still festive shows being held in other parts of the club, so everyone is on high alert. Especially me. The ice sculpture and thirty thousand dollars of caviar will arrive any minute. Later on tonight there is a shipment of hand-blown glass dildos that will be handed out as gifts to the members. They’ll need wrapping. Ugh. I should have hired more people.

An incoming call triggers panic mode in me. Danika is forever telling me to stop misplacing the thing. I swear I need to put a tracker on the damn thing.

“My phone.” Where the hell did I put it?

For a second, I freeze and just listen.

Papers fall, old takeout coffee cups topple to the floor as I shuffle through the mess on my desk. I spot the bright screen and automatically answer.

“Hello, Miss Lafleur speaking.” I tuck the phone against my shoulder and cheek. “Hello?” I am expecting it to be Rune confirming our plans for the evening or the delivery guys, but it’s a stoic woman’s voice void of emotion on the other end.

“Miss Lafleur, this is the Department of Corrections Victim Services. You left your phone on file for contacting. We are calling you to inform you…” My head comes up causing my phone to drop among the scattered party plans.

What day is it?

I grab my agenda.

Son-of-a-bitch. Oh, my God. How could I forget?

My heart clenches, and it’s hard to draw in a deep breath for a moment. I stare straight ahead, my mind blank. Every limb and muscle locks up, and I take several focused minutes to convince my body I am not in immediate danger.

I grab the phone, but I can’t get my brain to engage. The lady’s voice sounds like it filters through a vacuum. I don’t realize the woman on the other side ends the call until I hear the line go dead. I kill the screen and fasten my fingers around the edge of my desk.

Involuntarily, my gaze flicks to the laptop on the end of my desk. I could have a plane ticket out of here in fifteen minutes. I could buy the tickets from petty cash, and no one could trace my credit cards. I know a few members who can get me new papers and I can fade into the wind. It would cost all my savings, but it would be worth it.

Lashes fall to rest over my cheeks. Deep breaths do nothing to calm my jitters. An urge to flee wants to take hold, but I fought tooth and nail to prove myself to the owners of the Golden Key Society, damn it. I would lose everything I’ve worked so hard for. They had no reason to trust me with their business. They humored me when I said I could bring them five hundred new members in one month and then told me to prove it. I did. It’s been two years and I’ve brought in nearly one million members to all the clubs nationwide. They trust me with their bottom line. I can’t betray them by vanishing.

I’ve had two years to disappear. I haven’t done it yet, because deep down it would mean he wins by ruining my life.

Years of living under the radar and hiding out in the most secretive of locations has paid off. I don’t need to run.

If I did, it would also mean I would lose them. Danika, Rune, and Oliver have become an important part of my life. These past few weeks feel sort of like I have stepped out of my old life and into a new one where the past can’t touch me.

I press my trembling hands over my abdomen.

I don’t need to be scared. He’s in Georgia for God’s sake.

My life is no longer recognizable as what it was just two months ago. Can I give that up?

Do I want to, is the better question.

No, I don’t.

And more changes are on the way. We haven’t taken a pregnancy test yet, but if I am not at work, one of them is trying to breed me. It’s only a matter of time before they knock me up. We’re fine just letting it happen and taking this new direction of our relationship one day at a time. Or one fuckfest at a time. I swear they can’t keep their hands to themselves which might be why they talk little about themselves when we are together. And I admit, it is also a bad case of me avoiding hard topics like their criminal life choices or the fact that if I ask them about their lives, they will turn the tables on me and ask right back.

What that says about me is glaring. Until now I have dodged any chance of them peeling back the layers of my past. Why should I dwell on the ugly when something beautiful spreads out in front of me? But I can’t run anymore, and they deserve to know where I come from before it’s too late.

They will see you as trash, the voice in my head whispers conspiratorially.

The hard truth of the matter is that I am, to some that is. I grew up in foster care and bounced from one trailer park to another. One house to another and then ended up abused before I could age out.

I have spent my entire life sequestered in the darkest of shadows. And now that I have forged a path to the light, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize my new life.

Rune wants to take me for a ride through the city and then we have an early breakfast planned with everyone since I get off work a little before sunrise. An idea forms. It will be our first time alone without Danika and Oliver. Rune teased them earlier this morning that he is taking me to one of their safe houses, tying me to his bed and sending nude pictures. I don’t put it past the teaser. Maybe after we have some fun, we could talk. It would be easier to share details with one at a time versus all three at once.

“What are you smiling about?”

My gaze lifts off an empty coffee cup on my floor to see the owner’s intermediary, Raja, walk through my office door. One of his jobs is to help the owners of the Society get fresh talent into the adult club. A little sweet talking and he has agreed to bring the show from New Orleans here before Belle gives birth. He’s also the major reason I have a job and a man I consider a friend. He believed in me and convinced the owners I wouldn’t screw up their business.

I give Raja one of my practiced smiles meant to hide my true thoughts. I don’t mean to be secretive, but old habits die hard. “Raja! I didn’t realize I was smiling. Just happy about the turnout for the Christmas gala.”

Raja’s slight Middle Eastern accent clings to the English consonants as he fluidly speaks. “AKA mind my own business. Got it,” he says casually, his dark brown eyes glittering with amusement. I’m sure he’s seen me leave with one of my men or all three of them the few times he’s flown up from New Orleans, his favored location.

He leans against the doorframe of my office, his hands shoved into his pockets. He’s around Danika’s age with the slightest of gray dusting his temples and decked out in a suit tailored to fit his tall, muscular frame. If he’s not careful, he’ll become a member of some lucky lady’s harem with those killer dimples and easy-going vibes. His billionaire status helps, too, but I don’t see dollar signs when I look at him.

I see a man who never found the love of his life. Or not yet anyway.

“It’s good to see you.” I cross my office and take the big hug he offers. He smells of fine cigars, leather, and masculine power.

“What’s up? You were not due back in Seattle until tomorrow.” I pretend to straighten the papers on my desk, but the truth is there’s no wrangling the mess. I give up and lean against the heavy wood, wrapping my arms over my middle.

His hand falls to my shoulder and then my arm. He gives it a squeeze before moving to the far window to look out over Seattle at dusk. “A couple of reasons. Belle and her men are set for your Christmas gala.”

I pivot away from my desk and join him by the window. “Yes! That’s perfect! Thank you for working that out. I can’t think of better Santas and their elf with her being that pregnant with a package due after the new year. But you could have just called. What else brought you to the city early? You didn’t miss me did you?” Now I give him a genuine smile.

He wiggles his brows before dropping his head back with a hearty laugh. “If I were ten years younger, you would already be on my arm, beautiful.” He taps the end of my nose.

It’s like this every time we get together. He teases about yearning for me, and I tease him right back.

“I would be the envy of all the ladies now. Forget ten years ago. They’d probably wish me dead or try offing me for my spot at your side.” He reaches out and places a kiss on my forehead before moving to a chair across from me, but doesn’t sit down. He’s casual elegance and quiet confidence. He thinks I’m teasing, but I’m serious when I say he’d be a woman’s dream come true if he ever opted to settle down.

“The real question is how you heard about Belle and her partners.”

I can either lie or tell my friend the truth.

I opt for a little of both. “I went to New Orleans a few weeks back with some friends and saw the show. I shamelessly pilfered ideas I want to implement here.”

His grin is heart melting, but it’s his deep rumble of laughter that makes me pray he finds his forever one day. “Shameless indeed. If there are any plans I can share to make your pilfering easier, let me know.”

“I’ll shoot you a list.” He returns to my side, slips his arm around my middle, and I rest my head on his shoulder. I haven’t allowed myself to make friends outside of my men. No one wants to have drinks with the manager, and I accept that. But Raja has been there for me from day one of me stepping foot in Seattle. As far as I know he’s always told me the truth.

“Raja?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“What do you do when you want to confess the truth to someone but feel afraid they might judge you for your past?”

He steps back and looks down at me. “You tell them anyway and let the cards fall where they may. You can’t build a life on half-truths.” His hand settles on my cheek offering comfort and warmth. I haven’t cried in years but right now the kindness and understanding in his eyes has my heartstrings ready to open the floodgates.

I contemplate his words in silence. He’s right, but it doesn’t make what I have to do any easier.

“Thank you, Raja. I think I needed to hear those words more than I realized.” His expression softens, but there’s a pain lingering behind his thick lashes that doesn’t go unnoticed by me. He pulls me into him with an arm around my waist and presses his lips to the shell of my ear.

“If these men love you, they will accept you. All of you, sweetheart. If they don’t, let them go. I’m always here to catch you.”

His other arm comes around me, and his warmth bleeds into mine.

I pull back, shock coloring my expression I’m sure of it. “Oh, Raja. You never—” I start quietly, but I don’t have words to finish my sentence.

“—said anything?” he offers in a strained voice. His smile is small, pained. Resigned.

“You came here looking to get your life together. Forgive me for assuming, but you didn’t need an older man to save you. You have too much pride for that. Besides, there are many ways the people inside these walls could misconstrue a relationship between myself and the new manager.”

He means it would look like I slept my way to the top.

“And now you’ve found a group of men that have you smiling. That makes my heart happy.” He takes my face in his hands and presses a kiss to my forehead, one cheek and then the other. My eyes shutter closed at the heartache in his tone.

When I open them again, I find him regarding me with so much love in his eyes it nearly beats with a pulse of its own.

“Talk to your men, sweetheart. Everything will work out for you.”

“You know?”

“I do. Danika and his friends better not break your heart.”

He drops his hands from me and moves to leave. “There was one other thing I needed to ask you.” He turns, his heart in his eyes.

I want to go to him and throw my arms around him and thank him for being the friend I didn’t know I needed in my life, but I keep my feet glued to the floor.

“Do you think you can find me someone on your team who would be qualified for taking manager status at the Golden Key Society New Orleans?”

“Oh?” The change of topic is welcome.

“Yes,” he draws out casually.

“The last one resigned because she got pregnant. Which isn’t anything, really, but the daddies are members and well you know the rules. Which isn’t the worst of it. Now they want nothing to do with the poor woman.”

I nearly choke on my tongue trying not to gasp and trip over something to say that isn’t me confessing three members are currently trying to breed me. I settle on a nonchalant, “Oh, damn that is harsh.” My brows climb high as I fake my surprise at first and then pain for the woman. That had to hurt and given the time of year it must feel twice as bad. Some fuckers need dumped in a fresh batch of cement.

Listen to the words running through my head. Lord save me. I’m starting to think like Rune.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s a pain, but it happens. You wouldn’t be interested would you?” There is hope in his tone.

I would hop on the chance to head south if my men wanted to leave the city life behind for a more laid-back southern approach. New Orleans is a city unlike any other, and it has aspects that remind me of my hometown. I’ll never go back to Savannah, but New Orleans would be a close second on my wish list.

Giving him false hope isn’t fair to him or myself. “New Orleans is mighty tempting, but my boss might have something to say about you stealing me away.”

Raja’s grin is devilish as is his rumbled, “I know.”

“You will have to torture your friend some other way. I’ll have a few names for you by the end of the week. Will that work?”

“Make it after the new year. No rush, sweetheart. I’ll be taking over for a bit. It will keep my mind off the holidays. Mid-January sound okay?”

“Perfect and Raja?”

“Magnolia.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I would have liked…”

“Never apologize, sweetheart. Live your life knowing you have a friend who loves you deeply.”

There is an odd tone to his voice when he leaves my office. Like his own demons are the real reason he never sought a connection with me. His retreating back has my heart breaking for my friend. A part of me wants to wonder what a romance with him would have been like. Maybe in another life.

The rest of the night drags on and it’s not until nearly four in the morning that I can finally sign off for the night and take the elevator down. Working at a sex club that operates after hours means I work a version of the graveyard shift. Another aspect none of my men enjoy all too much.

On the bottom floor, I wait in my usual spot where they pick me up, but the space where I find them by the front door is bare of anyone. In fact, the entire lobby of the high-rise is empty.

Trickles of cold run up the length of my spine. I tighten my coat around me and pull out my phone. It feels like I have eyes on me so I look around for the source, but I can’t even find the security guard.

I’m being paranoid because it’s dark, cold, and I’m not surrounded by fifty people at once.

“Get a grip, Magnolia.”

I check for messages I might have missed, but there’s nothing since this morning. Fifteen minutes pass and my eyes grow heavy. I shoot off a message to our group chat and grab a taxi. They can come find me at home when they finish. I need to water my plants and I haven’t slept in my bed for weeks. All that open space sounds nice, come to think about it.

It’s only a few blocks to my apartment building in the same district, but I can barely keep my eyes open, much less walk in this cold.

The doorman recognizes me, and I head up to my apartment without seeing another soul. Twenty floors up it’s dead silent as I step out of the elevator.

I don’t see it at first but when I approach my door, there is a single soft pink magnolia bloom settled on the floor in front of my door.

“That is odd.” No one is allowed in here without getting by the doorman and then the security guard. It’s all part of the Golden Key Society set up to protect management for those who chose the package. I get less pay but a secured, up-scale place to live rent free.

I pick up the flower and go inside. Shoes come off, then the hair comes down. My jacket is next and then I take my phone out. The flower has to be from them. Danika’s name comes up first, so I tap and shoot off another text message.

I’m home. Waited for Rune but he didn’t show up. Hope all is ok. Much love.

I wait but only get silence in return. That is not like them. I message and someone answers in seconds.

Fear rears its ugly head. My conversation with Raja comes to mind.

Was the flower a send off? Like a thanks for the fun and we loved toying with your emotions?

I can’t go there just because they are busy and can’t answer the phone. My heart hurts for no real reason. It’s ludicrous to think they need to live by their phone in case I call.

I need a shower and some downtime, anyway. Sleep. God, do I need sleep. I check the front door locks, head for the kitchen for a glass of water, and turn to my bedroom when my phone rings.

I pick it up hurriedly. “Hey babe! Is everything okay?” I don’t know which of the men it is and don’t care. The flood of relief that fills me is very telling, but I will reflect on how much I’ve grown attached to them later. After they come over and ravish me from head to toe.

“Magnolia, I missed you too, baby girl. Do you want to come and see Daddy? I have longed for this day. I hope you have too, sweet thing. Did you like my gift?”

The nasally, sweet voice makes my heart constrict.

My blood runs cold, and I hang up the phone. I check the number. It’s a private caller. Dots fill my vision. Acid burns the back of my throat, and my knees are so weak I have to sit down. Trembling fingers make it hard to dial, but I manage to get to the front desk.

I wrangle the fear in my voice. “Security, there’s been a breach. Someone has entered the building and I need every level checked for a man with brown hair, brown eyes, and a scar over his left cheek. Consider him dangerous.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I hang up and call the cops next. The first thing I did when I arrived in the city was contact the police department and tell them my story and why a man named Einar Weston would be at the top of the suspect list, should I ever go missing. Am I a little over the top? Fuck yes, but I enjoy living and I watch all those true crime shows. I don’t feel so paranoid now.

It takes two hours before the security team on the Golden Key Society’s payroll and a couple of seasoned cops clear the entire twenty-three-floor apartment building.

A female cop comes out of my bedroom replacing her weapon while her partner comes back in from the outside hallway with his notepad out. “It’s all clear, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Officer.” The idea Weston could be in here the whole time has me freaking the hell out.

Her partner takes out a card and puts it on the dining table next to my phone. “Call us if you have any more trouble. You were smart to call the first time, too. Someone matching the stature of Mr. Weston entered the building wearing a cleaning-service uniform. We couldn’t see his face, or any identifying markings, but there was no scheduled cleaning crew for today.”

The freaking security guy likes to sleep on the job. As of tomorrow, he will be looking for alternative employment without a recommendation. I’ll personally see to it.

And with that I’m all alone again. I triple check the locks and shove a chair under the handle just to make sure.

I got little sleep that night or for the next ten days. I’ve grown to hate the bags under my eyes and the dark circles that take a ton of makeup to hide.

Three weeks later and Christmas is over and New Year’s is spent in front of the TV binge-watching crime shows with either pizza or ice cream as my companion. I go to work, have security escort me to my car, and another escort sees me to my apartment after checking it. I glance in the direction of my phone. No one has called or messaged me outside of work for weeks. I used to run to it when the soft chimes went off.

Not anymore. Being ghosted feels like your lifeforce being drained from your body by a drop of blood at a time.

Fire burns the back of my eyes. Tears fall and like every other night I brush them away.

“I can’t live like this anymore. I just can’t.”

I toss my spoon on the living room coffee table and shut off the flat-screen. Silence cocoons me. It terrifies me how much I’ve grown dependent on the likes of Danika’s lingering touches. Oliver’s comforting silence and Rune’s raw need to be filling me with his seed.

I toss a small blanket from my legs and head to my bedroom. I pull a suitcase from under my bed and start packing. I catch my reflection in my vanity mirror and cringe. Shaggy hair, no makeup. Zombies look better than me.

I don’t recognize who I’ve become. I grab the bedside telephone and throw it into the glass. Millions of pieces shatter onto the marble floor. Rune once liked to use that mirror to watch himself fuck me.

Liked , as in past tense. Never happening again. He’ll never touch me again. That era of my life is over.

I have only a few days left before I have to give Raja a name for the New Orleans position, and I haven’t even looked at anyone’s resume yet.

I grab my cell phone. If this is ghosting, I don’t like it one bit. I guess they fulfilled their thirst for their kink of coming in a willing woman and playing house until they grew tired.

I pull up Raja’s name and shoot off a message.

If you still want me, I’m in for Nola!

I hit SEND and almost immediately I receive a message back.

When can you start, sweetheart?

Immediately.

I have a private plane on standby. Use it. I’ll meet you there tomorrow. I’ll have a room waiting for you.

I grab my suitcase and call security to escort me out of the building and into a cab. I have little belongings. Just clothes and a few keepsakes from around the city. Whoever moves in next can trash all of it. I don’t want a single reminder of this place or this city.

I slide into the taxi and don’t look back when the driver pulls away from the curb.

“Airport please.”

I’m out of here and done waiting around like some used flower for men who never wanted me in the first place.

I take out my phone one more time and shoot off one last message.

They wanna play? Well, they’ll have to catch me. And if they do, heaven help them because the devil is on my side, and I’ll see them dead before they ever lay a hand on me again.