22. HAZEL

22

HAZEL

Today is my baby shower. Nina thinks I don't know, but she's not a very good keeper of secrets. I play along though because I know this is important to her.

"Are you ready for lunch with your bestie?" Wes asks slyly.

"I know my shower is today, Wes. You don't have to play along with the lie." I'm sitting on the couch, feet up and my very large belly on display. I'm two weeks away from my due date and I'm just over it. I need this baby out now. I don't even know the body I'm in anymore.

Wes has been amazing. We decorated early for Christmas because I know once our daughter arrives there will be no time for anything. So, our tree went up the first week in November. Lights are hung and the house feels warm and inviting.

Thanksgiving is a week away, but we'll be going to Jay and Nina's house for that. I warned them all there's no way I'm stepping foot in the kitchen so if they want a good meal, it will have to be somewhere else.

Wes is still the guy I always thought him to be. It's as if we just decided silently that we're a couple now that we're having a baby. There's been no further talk about our relationship or where we go from here but we both know we're end game for each other.

I've been having small contractions for the last few days, but the doctor tells me it's Braxton Hicks and not to worry, but I'd be lying if I said it's not making me nervous for the real thing.

Because these hurt.

And when I cry out or wince in pain, Wes' face turns to horror, which leads me to a renewed worry because since these contractions have started, he's pulled back some. Yes, he's still very doting but he's stopped communicating. His words have dried up and I've noticed a distance between us. Then last night he didn't come to bed, and I woke up with an unease I haven't felt in quite some time.

"I'm not playing along. I'm asking if you're ready for lunch." He grins and I flip him off.

"Do I look ready?" I ask crankily. "I can't even get off the couch and if I want to see my feet, I need to put them up on this table!"

He comes to my side and sits down next to me, placing his hands on my stomach. She chooses right then to give him a kick.

"She's getting stronger."

I laugh. "Looks like she's feeling feisty today."

He places both hands now and leans down. "Baby girl, you can't be kicking your momma."

His eyes raise to mine and I smile softly. "I love when you talk to her. She's going to know exactly who her daddy is once she arrives."

He watches me and speaks to her again. "Baby. I'm sorry we don't have a name for you yet." I giggle when she gives another kick and Wes eyes get wide. "I think she's mad about it."

"You could be right. We'll need to decide soon."

He nods then drops back to my belly. "We'll get that covered quickly, baby girl, don't you worry. But in the meantime, my name is," he swallows hard and his eyes shine suspiciously as he continues, "Daddy. It's a name I never thought I'd have but I have to admit, I'm not hating it."

He grins but continues looking at my stomach, slowly massaging me. A tear runs down my cheek and he looks up in time to see me brush it away. "I know you're going to be beautiful, just like your momma. She's watching me right now, and even with the tears she's still the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on."

"Wes," I whisper, and he leans over, kissing me sweetly and I begin to cry harder.

"Why are you crying? Does something hurt?" His voice is nervous, but he doesn't remove his hands from my belly.

"Nothing hurts. I'm just happy."

"I'm happy, too, Hazel. More than ever before."

He gives me a quick kiss but then pulls back and the loss I feel is physically painful. It's like he had a sudden thought that jerked him out of the present and a weird mask came over his face. "Okay, you need to get ready and get to your lunch."

He stands, holding his hand out to me to help me up, but this sudden change in his demeanor has me feeling out of sorts. "Are you coming today?"

He turns from me, walking away, but calls over his shoulder. "I'll be there."

The whole scene has me second guessing everything because I've heard that line before, and I just pray we're not going backwards because something feels a little fucked right now.

~~

"Surprise!" My family and friends yelled when Nina and I walked into the restaurant. I jumped for real because I was not expecting them to scream at me the minute I walked in.

"Were you really surprised?"

I smile at her. "I had a feeling something was happening, but yes, I'm surprised."

"You're a liar but thank you for playing along."

The day has been wonderful, filled with amazing food and beautiful place settings. The presents are never ending, and I have no idea where we're going to put everything. The lunch was amazing and I'm told the cake is to die for but I've been sitting on pins and needles all day, unable to settle down.

"What's wrong, Hazel?" Nina asks from her seat next to me.

"Wes said he was going to be here today."

"Okay." She glances at her watch. "The day isn't over yet."

I shake my head. "He was acting very strange earlier. The last few days actually. But today, he was talking to the baby, feeling her kick and I don't know." I throw my hands up and let out a breath. "It's like, all of a sudden, the light went on about how real this is. I don't know if he's ready. It felt like he was about to run again."

"Oh, no, Hazel, he's not running?—"

"I can't do it again, Nina," I whisper, my lip trembling. "I can't have him walk out on me and her. I mean, I know I physically left but he left emotionally . I can't handle that again."

She grabs hold of my hands and leans in close. "He's not running. I promise you. I will personally break both of his ankles if that thought even crosses his mind."

"Does Jay know how violent you are?" I ask as I laugh lightly, wiping the tears from my face.

She snickers. "He's learning. But I'm only violent if someone messes with those I love."

"I know a baby shower is for the mom, but I really wanted him here with me today. Seeing the love in the room everyone has for her, and us, I just need him to see?—"

There's a commotion at the front of the room and the women begin applauding and cheering.

"What's going on?"

She gives me a soft look and replies, "I think your baby daddy just arrived."

My heart races as I look toward the front, my eyes colliding with the most handsome man in the room. Those butterflies he's given me from day one bloom once more and the relief I feel has me grinning from ear to ear as I stand and rush to him.

He's being congratulated by all of our friends and family. My co-workers are fawning over him. He's being polite but I see him attempting to skip through the line to get to me.

And when he does, he kisses me in a way that's only meant for the bedroom. The wolf whistles and cheers that echo around us, have me breaking into laughter.

"What has come over you, Mr. Parker?"

He holds me close, in the middle of the room as if no one is here watching us. "I'm sorry I'm late. I had to pick something up and they were running behind."

"I'm just happy you're here. I thought for a minute you weren't coming," I admit quietly.

He brushes the hair off my shoulder. "I was afraid you were thinking that, and it killed me having to wait so long. I ran two red lights to get here."

"You're such a rebel," I tease. "Do you want something to eat? The food was amazing."

"I do but there's something I need to do first. Stay here."

I frown as he leaves me standing in the middle of the room with everyone circled around, and then Jay and Maverick appear at his side. They clap him on the back and then Nina approaches as well. She hugs him and speaks low to him before he turns around with his hand out, beckoning me to him.

When I'm standing next to him, he addresses the room."I want to thank everyone for coming today. Seeing you all here means so much to both of us, but especially to me. The love you have for Hazel is unmatched and I'm proud to be the man she chose. Hazel and I have known each other for almost eight years. She was just an impressionable eighteen-year-old college girl and I was the old grump of a guy who couldn't make a commitment to save his life." He pauses as the crowd laughs lightly, smiling before proceeding, "But for whatever reason, she saw something good in me."

I stand there with my jaw practically on the floor, completely shocked as he continues to speak to everyone. "I was afraid to love someone and fail them. I didn't know how to be a good boyfriend, I still really don't and now I have to learn how to be a good dad."

He turns to me, addressing me alone even with the crowd around us. "I always thought you deserved more than just a local guy like me, but you make me want to be better. I want to be the man you need, and I'll work hard to step up and be that man every day for you. When everything inside me was screaming ‘I can't do this' you were there encouraging me, telling me I can do anything and most of all, that you'll be there to do it with me."

I wipe the tears that are flowing freely, and when he drops to one knee I almost faint. "You've given me the best gift ever and now it's my turn to give you something. It's almost December first, you know what that means, right?"

I nod, unable to talk because I'm so overcome with emotion.

"Hold out your hand and tell me, love."

"Gift me, baby," I manage to choke out and then I laugh as I shove my hand in his direction. His eyes are glassy but he's confident when he takes the ring from his pocket, slides it on my finger and says, "Hazel Madden, you're the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm so in love with you and I can't imagine a life without you. Will you marry me?"

"I love you, too. So much. Yes. Yes, I'll marry you!" I nod and he rises to his full height, circling me in his arms. The crowd cheers and claps and I try to control my crying, though at this point it's a lost cause.

"Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for loving me no matter how much of an idiot I was."

"You were a pretty big idiot at times, but I'm not perfect either."

He laughs. "I know, but I took the idiot prize, and now I'm officially your idiot and I'm not going anywhere."

He holds me tightly and we're still standing in the middle of the room, our guests giving us a few minutes to ourselves."How long have you been planning this? Is this why you've been acting weird the last couple of days?"

"Yes. Nina was at the jewelry store getting her ring cleaned when I walked in. Her eyes got super wide, and she was jumping up and down right there in the store." We both laugh because I can actually picture her doing this. "I also know Nina can't keep a secret to save her life and I was so afraid she was going to blow it."

"Well, you'll be happy to know she didn't blow it. But when I was freaking out earlier, she promised me you weren't running. She also threatened to break your ankles if you tried so I'd keep my eye on her."

He laughs loudly. "My cousin is in for a wild ride with that one." He kisses me sweetly then whispers, "I can't imagine doing life with anyone but you. Thank you for knowing better than me and waiting for me to catch up."

Our friends interrupt our moment by handing him a glass of champagne and me a glass of sparkling cider before they toast to us and the entire room.

"To the Parkers! There's nothing sweeter than the gift of love!"