17. Seventeen

Seventeen

Willow

The guys’ murmuring travels into Oakly’s room where we’re lying on her bed, pretending not to eavesdrop.

Well, I’m pretending. She’s lost to her own thoughts.

I waited patiently on the floor while her men lavished her in love, Jamie gave her a thorough check, and then they just held her while I held her hand. As soon as her fingers gripped me tighter, attempting to pull me closer, I crawled in bed beside her.

That’s where I’ve been since.

Aria joined us for a little while as well, reassuring us our souls were as strong as ever before my brother told her it was time for them to go. The only other visitor was Gaster. I thought his rapid shifts between scolding then crying while giving us hugs were going to be her undoing, but she held strong and soaked up the love he showered her in. Plus, the calming tea and pastries helped.

Now the two of us sit together in silence. It’s not our normal comforting kind, though. The tension surrounding her is deafening.

My fingers trail through her hair mindlessly as she sighs to herself and I’m waiting for her to speak. The reality of what happened today has just settled in her mind and she wants to ask me about the in between then and now, but she doesn’t. She’s not ready.

Yet.

Based on the plans I hear from the guys outside and the pieces of information I’m picking up by eavesdropping in their minds, they’re preparing to separate us so we can both get some rest. My body tenses at the notion, even though I feel Oakly’s desire to be surrounded by her guys keenly in my chest.

For her wants and desires, I’ll leave her side, but it’s only because I feel that’s what her soul’s practically begging for.

“They’re getting ready to kick me out.”

“Selfish men.”

I snort as she rolls over, facing me, and we lie here, staring at one another. I fight back the tears that want to fill my eyes because I see the waterworks welling in hers. I don’t want to be the cause of them falling.

Physically, she looks as she always has, but now there’s a piece inside of her that will feel foreign, at least to herself, for some time to come.

I’m all too familiar with it. I never wanted her to know it.

It’s the weight of the demons that sit in the back of your mind.

Emotional and mental traumas aren’t things everyone will experience in their lifetimes, and I’m so happy for those who will never know that type of turmoil. As for my best friend, though, she’d already known a touch of it through her parents’ lack of acceptance of her.

Now it’s layered. Darker. More pronounced.

She doesn’t know how to cope with this level, but I’ll be here for her. I’ll guide her.

“They’re going to hog your attention for a little while, and I’ll allow that. But then I need some time with you.”

“There’s no doubt I’m going to need a break from them.” She smiles and I know it’s forced.

We’re both bullshitting just to fill the silence.

“Get some sleep or snuggles or whatever it is you need, and I’ll see you tomorrow. ”

I lay a quick peck to her nose and genuine laughs fall from both of us as she tries to swat me away. The noise seems to call out to our men as they stampede in here like their asses are on fire and we smirk in their direction.

The relief that drapes across the Mercie men is tangible as they surround us on the bed. I take that as my cue to get up and as soon as I hold my hand out, four others latch onto it and pull me up.

“I told the guys to give me just a little while and I’ll have the wing cleaned out for all of you. Tillman will come get and escort you when it’s ready,” Corentin says as he comes to my side and smiles down at Oakly.

“Wing?” she asks.

“We’re clearing out the east wing. That’s where you all will be staying from here on out. At least until we all return to the academy.”

Her wide eyes swing to her men, then to me, and I hide my snicker behind my hand. That was a piece of information I overheard, but I figured I’d let him tell her.

“I already told you, you’d be visiting me here. You didn’t seriously think we were going to let the five of you out of our sight, did you?” I ask teasingly.

“Holy shit,” she breathes. “I didn’t really think about where we’d be staying at all, to be honest, but the palace? We’re staying at the palace?”

“Staying isn’t really the word, Perfecta Anima. I give it a day and you and your entire Nexus will be moved in,” Caspian says sarcastically, although he’s not lying.

If I have it my way anyways.

She snorts, rolling her eyes at his tone, and I bite my lip to hide my smirk from them both. That’s until Caspian’s face grows more serious, and he steps closer to her side. I sense the shift in him, and I don’t have the slightest clue what it is he’s about to say or do.

“Oakly, I…” He pauses as her eyes grow to the size of saucers. Everyone’s in the room do, actually, and I hold my breath because that’s the first time he’s ever addressed her by her name. “I killed the man who injected you. He’ll never hurt you or anyone else again,” he says sincerely.

Her gaze softens as she looks at my dark and damaged protector, and my love for him bursts out of me before I can contain it. He’s not a man of many words to people outside of our Nexus, but she knows, in his own way, he just publicly apologized to her.

“That puts you in spot number two,” she chokes out with a smile.

“Hey,” Corentin and Tillman shout, but Cas is all dark smirks when he looks over at Draken.

“I believe I can beat the dragon out.”

“We’ll see about that,” Oakly teases and the tears I’d been fighting to hold back flood freely.

It’s always been poking fun about her having favorites, although it most certainly started out that way. We agreed when we first started speaking through our mental link that she’d carry on her little joke of having my men compete for the top spot in her eyes even though she’d already deemed them all worthy by that point.

I could never pick a favorite of her men because they each balance her so perfectly and they’ve grown to be more than random guys in my life. Just as my men have become for her.

“We’ll be back soon,” Tillman says as he gives Ry and the others hugs, then ushers us out of the room. My eyes linger on Oakly for another moment until her men perch their asses on her bed, blocking her from my sight.

My feet feel like they’re being weighed down by stone as we make our way out into the hall, but I sigh happily when I see our research table’s already been cleared and cleaned up. Plus, there’s no one else out here. Leaving me alone with my men.

“What’s the plan, your highness?” I ask through a yawn as I lean my head on Corentin’s shoulder.

His steps slow as he wraps his arm around my waist and turns me until my chest is pressed into his. Of their own accord, my eyes flutter shut as he leans in and captures my lips in a sweet, lingering kiss.

When I peel my heavy lids open, I find him peering over my head rather than at me. From my left, Tillman steps closer and wraps his hand around the back of my neck, turning my head until his lips are locked on mine. The firm but gentle embrace is over just as swiftly as it started, and Draken closes in on the other side of me .

I was ready for the fiery intensity that’s all things him, but he surprises me with the softest, calmest of kisses he’s ever given to me. His shuddering breath leaves chill bumps across my skin when he buries his face in my neck for a quick second, then steps away.

“We’ll see you in a little while, princess,” Corentin says softly as the chill of Caspian consumes my back.

He gives me no time to ask any questions as his shadows engulf me, whisking me away from the rest of my Nexus. When he pulls his darkness away, hot water pelts down on his head from my shower head and the block he’s been holding in place so firmly slides away.

The instincts in me scream to go to him, wash it away, make it better. The need is so strong, my hands shake, but I hold my feet still and take him in from head to toe. This is the first moment I’ve had to truly observe him since we left him at that volcano to find the doctor. The others made sure to always be near me, and it helped alleviate both their and my worries.

Not my dark and damaged protector, though.

He’s been holding it all in for my sake that entire time. Now it’s crashing down right in front of me. Tillman told me Cas had himself under control. He looked in his eyes, but he was looking for the wrong thing. I see it clearly.

Yes, my man and monster are one and the same.

But the demons…They aren’t a part of the duo.

They’re intruders.

“Cas,” I say quietly, lifting my hand to cup his cheek, but pause my movements when his eye twitches. “Come back to me. I’m right here.”

Slowly, I slink forward another step, standing close enough there’s barely a breath between us, but not touching him. Yet.

“I’ll meet you in the dark, Cas,” I whisper, then surround us in my shadows.

My black veil blocks out all the light and the two of us stand under the spray of cascading water, breathing heavily. The tension around him begins to lessen, which immediately makes mine leak out of me as well.

“I’m back,” he grits out.

“Not entirely. Tell me what happened. ”

His breath fans my eyelashes as he finally makes a move and pulls my body flush to his. The erratic beat of his heart thuds below my hand and my fingers run circles around his moon until it begins to level out.

“Those rooms the hostages were in looked like the one I was in. Cold stone and the empty promise of a death that seemed too far away. I didn’t come across a single hostage that had a shred of hope left in their eyes.” He takes a deep breath, and I wait him out, knowing he isn’t done. “That lab. I never saw the one they had at the structure I was held in, but all I could think about is how he probably had one just like it. Recording every change in me as the days passed by. How I fucking begged for them to stop.”

His black eyes, heavy breathing, and trembling hands warn me of his next move before he even makes it.

Calling my water element forth, I command it around his fist, protecting and blocking his knuckles from the tile behind my head. I saw the punch coming, and I refuse to allow him to hurt himself.

I order the elusive element to surround him, bring him closer to me. My earth flows through my hands and I strip away our shirts so he can feel my skin on his when he crowds me closer to the wall.

“Her,” he whispers. “That bitch is still out there, believing she can do whatever she pleases to me. Believing she has some right or claim to me. I am not hers to claim. My soul is already owned.”

I breathe through the possessive rage that rises in me like lava. This isn’t about me or my feelings right now, but I can’t help the fury that consumes me when I think about Silvia. How I want more than anything to end her for what she’s done to my man. My Nexus member. I wish her ass had been there so I could’ve thrown her in the magma pit along with her best friend.

“Who owns your soul?”

I meant for it to be a soft question. I wanted my voice to come across as sweet, light, so I could pull him the rest of the way over the edge.

Instead, it was a fierce, possessive growl that just shoved us both into the abyss below.

My mind barely has time to process what’s happening when a cold dagger is placed at the waistband of my pants. In a move as swift as smoke, he has my pants shredded and torn from my body .

His cold hands clamp on my thighs, and my legs automatically wrap around his waist as he crashes me into the wall with his lips plastered to mine.

In my mind, somewhere deep in the back of it, I know I should give myself over completely to him so he can let his darkness bleed out, but I can’t. My possessive need to claim him, mark him as mine, all mine, won’t allow it.

I deepen the kiss while grinding against him and my nails that have sharpened of their own accord pierce his shoulders, drawing a hiss from his lips when he breaks away from me.

“Naughty little Primary,” he breathes, slamming my hands above my head with his shadows.

“Who. Owns. Your. Soul?”

A dark, twisted smirk crosses his face when he grips my hips tightly, pinning me completely against the wall. My body shivers as his hard cock lines up with my pussy and I bite my lip to hold in my whimper.

“You do, Willow Vito. Every blackened, broken piece is yours. As are the threads of light that now weave themselves through it. It’s all yours.”

In one brutal thrust, he slams into me so fully, I feel him in my gut. That line between pain and pleasure blurs and I cry out his name, begging for more.

And fuck does he answer my plea wholeheartedly.

With every punishing pump of his hips, his darkness bleeds out all over me. My skin absorbs it, loves it, then shoves it back at him full force until he’s panting my name like I’m his dying wish.

His unforgiving grip is surely leaving bruises on my hips, and I hope there’s a perfect impression of his fingers inside of Draken’s seared handprint. Despite the fact those blemishes will heal, it makes me fucking feral thinking about two of my men’s marks on my body.

The touch of his shadows crawls across my skin, teasing my clit in slow circles, keeping my release just out of reach. He places me on the edge of oblivion, then snatches me back, just so I’ll feel as consumed with him as he does me.

I dig my heels into his ass cheeks and try to slam myself down on him harder, deeper, fuck faster. Anything. Everything.

“You’ll come on my cock when I say you can, Primary. Be good or I’ll restrain all of you,” he grits out.

The strain in his voice tells me how close to the edge he is too, but he’s holding back, forcing me to wait as well.

I try to savor it. I really do.

I don’t break out of his shadows’ restraints like I know I could, nor do I hit him with a bout of lust that I know could bring him to his knees, but fuck me, I’m ready to come. I want to come so hard I see stars and drag him down with me.

My moans grow louder as I swallow down the begging about to fall from my mouth and just relish in the feeling of him fucking me how he sees fit.

It’s dizzying.

“Fuck, you’re a tempting little goddess. It’s so impossible to resist,” he groans before snatching me off the wall and slamming me against another one.

Except this one isn’t tile.

This one is all fire and muscle and my shadow trapped arms wrap around his neck.

“You called, little wanderer?” Draken purrs in my ear.

His lips trail down my neck. Kissing, sucking, biting all the way to my shoulder, and when his hands reach around to twist my nipples between his fingers and thumbs, I beg.

“Cas, please.”

“You should feel how this greedy little pussy is strangling me, dragon,” he taunts.

“Is that right? Shadow man not letting you come all over his cock, sweetness?”

“No, he’s not.”

A mixture between a moan and a cry of frustration leaves me, causing Cas to chuckle darkly and Draken to groan low. Both make my skin shiver and the pressure in my belly intensifies .

“Tell him how this greedy little pussy is his and you need his cock filling you up. Use those dirty thoughts you have and show him the goddess you are.”

Oh. Fuck. Me.

“This greedy pussy is yours, Cas. You own it. Bury your cock so deep inside of me, I feel you fill me up.” I pant shyly, but he hears me and his eyes sear through mine.

“Fuck,” he grunts and if I didn’t think his punishing pace could become more, I was dead wrong.

His shadows finally provide the pressure I need on my clit, and I scream, seeing nothing but darkness as my orgasm rips through me viciously. My back bows and Draken’s strong arms wrap around me, holding me up while my pussy clamps Cas’s cock in a death grip, sucking his release right out of him.

Breathing hard, he leans against me until the two of our bodies force Draken’s to lean on the wall and hold us up.

“I could live inside of you, Primary. Fuck, you’re my home,” Cas says quietly as he lays a kiss on my throat, my jaw, cheek, and finally my lips.

“Who’s greedy now?” I ask teasingly, and his smirk stretches across my lips.

When he finally slides his dick out of me, Draken passes me fully over to him, laying a kiss on my forehead. A moment passes between the two of them that I don’t fully understand, but with an appreciative nod and a tight smile from Cas, Draken leaves us to get cleaned.

My dark protector washes and massages my body until I can barely hold my eyes open, while quietly murmuring how proud he is of me for not burying the things that happened today down. I tell him I’m just as proud of him as he is of me.

Stepping out of the warm shower, the air hits me, making me shiver for a split second before he pulls the water from my body and hair. Just as my lids lose their battle with staying open, he leans in close and whispers.

“I’ll always be greedy for you, Primary. I love you. We love you beyond measure.”

“I love you. All of you.”

The sugary roasted aroma drags me from the dead of sleep, and I swear, like a bloodhound, I sit up in the bed, sniffing around without ever opening my eyes.

Four low chuckles draw a smile to my face and with an incredibly unladylike yawn, I stretch my arms above my head, then peel my lids open. The bright light from the sun beaming in from the balcony causes me to rapidly blink, then throw the rest of the covers off me.

“It is far too bright outside to still be midmorning,” I say frantically, trying my hardest to get untangled from the sheets.

“Whoa, princess, take it easy.” Corentin laughs, stopping my panicked movements with his hands on my shoulders. “You needed to sleep in.”

“No, I needed to meet Oakly for breakfast,” I argue.

All their laughing ceases and they each look at me so softly, I panic even more.

What the hell are those looks for?

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Nothing happened, little warrior, she’s fine. She’s just still sleeping as well. Ry called and let me know a couple of hours ago. Said he’d get her to call or message you when she wakes up,” Tillman supplies helpfully, no doubt sensing the rising freak-out.

My breath whooshes out of me, and I sling myself back onto the bed.

Damn, it takes a lot of energy to get that worked up as soon as your eyes open.

“So I take it you don’t want your coffee?” Corentin asks sarcastically.

“Of course I do,” I say, popping right back up. “Sorry, I just freaked out there for a second. I didn’t want her to think I was standing her up or choosing sleep over seeing her.”

Again, their eyes soften, and when Caspian offers me his hand to help me out of bed, I take it graciously.

The adrenaline of yesterday has worn off now, but everything else that I woke up feeling hits me like a ton of bricks. I see better now why the multiple times some shit like this has happened to me, Oakly’s threatened to kill me. Our bond feels like it’s on edge and if I don’t lay my eyes on her to make sure she’s okay, I’m going to flip out.

The guilt that always sits below my surface instantly floods me.

Crazy shit has happened to me a couple times now and it’s not just my men who experience the wide range of emotions in the aftermath. It’s them, Oakly, and Gaster who feel it on literally a soul level. Not to mention everyone else who cares for me.

The thought quickly sobers me.

“None of that, Primary. Shit happens, and it always will until we end this. Check on your bond and mental link. She’s fine,” Caspian says confidently as he sits me in a seat out on the balcony and Corentin places my coffee in front of me.

Nodding, I do as he says and focus on the thread that connects me to Oakly, as well as our mental link. I don’t pull on either, just in case she really is still sleeping. I don’t want to wake her.

I’m selfishly happy, though, when I feel her consciousness and I blow out a breath of relief.

Mentally. By accident, of course.

Her laugh rings through my head and a smile takes over my face. It’s her normal giddy tone and her bond sings in my chest with her true happy spirit this morning. That settles the worry I’d been feeling the second I woke up and thought I missed our breakfast.

“Someone woke up in a good mood,” I say.

“Well, someone has four men who know exactly how to wake a girl up.”

“Oh, gross, Oak. Too much information before coffee.”

Elementra, she’s as bad as Draken.

I can’t help but laugh out loud at her and the tension in my men’s shoulders relaxes. They don’t have to hear—well, Tillman may have—to know that the two of us are talking.

“Got that brought to me in bed as well. May have to get kidnapped more often if this is the pampering I’m going to get. ”

My eyes narrow dangerously and if she were in front of me, my look would strike her ass down.

“Too soon for the dark humor. Too freaking soon.”

“My bad.” She snorts, but I see it for what it is. Little shit is trying to shove it down and bury it with jokes.

“So lunch instead of breakfast? I can’t believe they let us sleep this long.”

“I woke up once when it was still dark out and my body was like hell no, bitch, back to sleep you go. Apparently, Jamie tried to wake me up so he could do a thorough check, but I wouldn’t budge.”

“I bet so. You needed the rest. So lunch?” I ask again since she didn’t answer me.

The silence on the other end paired with the longing I feel pulsing in my chest gives me my answer. She wants to stay cuddled up with her men. Understandably.

“Ahhh, I see. Someone wants to stay in and be a pampered princess today,” I tease so she knows I’m not upset.

“Well, they do know how to pamper me. You’re okay with that?” she asks quietly.

“Umm, of course. I completely understand wanting to be wrapped up in your men’s arms for the day.”

“Tomorrow then. We’ll make a girls’ day out of it and make the men go to work.” She chuckles and I shake my head at her.

“Sounds good. Check in with me today when you’re not busy,” I say with a little saucy tone.

“I’ll check in during water breaks. Love youuuu,” she singsongs and I groan.

“Gross. Love you more.”

Her laugh fades from my mind and I close my eyes, cherishing the sound. Elementra knows I wouldn’t know what to do without her.

“So what’s the plan, little wanderer?” Draken asks.

“She’s going to stay in with her guys today. We’re going to spend tomorrow together.”

“You plan on introducing her to Momma Vito?” he asks.

“Yeah. Maybe we’ll make it an all-girls day and hang out with Tanith as well.”

“Mom has a meeting in the morning with a few of the academy headmasters and I’ll be joining her, but we should be done by lunch,” Corentin says.

“Oh, about what?” I ask nosily.

“Well, the number one objective is she plans on checking for marks. Not that we think any of the headmasters are betraying us. They’ve been vetted extensively, but time and time again, loyalties have been compromised. If it proves they’re all good, she’ll be discussing increasing security, strengthening their wards, and she wants me to give them a breakdown of the attack on our academy. Even though we’ll leave out the part about how it was a targeted attack, how the Mastery handled their formation, gathered and held the students hostage, and what they’re doing to the hostages is all information the headmasters should be made aware of.”

“You two aren’t going alone, right?” I ask immediately. The thought of just him and Aurora checking for marks and possibly exposing one alone worries me. Despite realistically knowing, unless every headmaster is corrupt, then they can handle themselves.

“No, Tillman will be coming so he can check their minds. That’ll be how we see if they wear a mark and all my dads will be joining, plus a small team of E.F. members.”

“Okay, good. Speaking of the academy. We have three days until classes resume,” I say, open-ended.

It feels a little surreal to me after everything that’s happened. I haven’t been to the academy since we rescued Keeper. We have so many other things going on, I sort of forgot I was a student.

“Are you reading my mind this morning, princess?” he asks teasingly.

“No, was that what you were bringing up next?”

“Yeah. We’ve got a few things to discuss.”

“Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good,” I taunt. Whatever he has to discuss isn’t the end of the realm level discussion judging by his relaxed posture and nonchalance .

Rolling his eyes, he takes a sip of his coffee first, then sets it down and laces his fingers. I may have spoken to soon on the seriousness of the topic. “I think you’ve far surpassed any of the classes the academy will provide you with. I don’t see any point in you continuing enrollment.”

My eyes widen, and my hand quits reaching out for my own mug as I take in his words. Part of me completely agrees, whereas the other part feels like I’m getting kicked out of school.

I whip my head over to Tillman when he snorts and shakes his head at me, and I cock my eyebrow at him.

“You’re not getting kicked out, little warrior. The paperwork would be filed that you’ve completed all levels of training, but seriously, all you did before the mission was study with Gaster, work with Vince, and train with the E.F. You were basically already done with classes.”

“I mean, yeah, I get that. I guess I was just caught off guard. What would I do then and what about Draken?” I ask. If I’m not taking any classes, there’s surely no reason he needs to.

My dragon man throws his head back, laughing, causing both Corentin and Tillman to grumble under their breaths, but this is obviously something they all have already thought about.

“Draken’s going to be done as well, against my better judgment. He’s picked up a class that he’s going to help instruct,” Corentin says with a huff.

“You what?” I turn to face Draken fully, the surprise evident in my tone, face, everything, and he shoots me a wink.

“Corentin’s making it sound more important than it really is. I’m going to assist Vince with Layton’s one-on-one classes. He’s going to meet with the two of us every day, as long as our Nexus doesn’t have other shit going on, until he gains better control over his shifts. Then he can move into a normal shifter class. We’re going to take him to the academy the day after tomorrow to get a tour just like we did with you.”

My heart .

I see him trying to downplay this, but it’s incredibly sweet and not only that, this is a responsibility and role none of us ever would’ve thought Draken would willingly take on. Yeah, he helps Tillman with the E.F. members, but that’s training, fighting. This is molding a young mind and helping him develop into the best shifter he can be.

“I’m so proud of you.”

I blow him a kiss when his cheeks flush and I’ve got to admit, it does something to me being able to make one of my men blush.

“Okay, so what’s the plan for me?” I ask, turning my attention back to Corentin.

“I wanted your opinion on this, but I think it’s wise you still spend your mornings with Gaster and Oakly, but Keeper and Tanith will be included in that now. As long as they’re stuck here, they should learn everything they can, and I think they’ll be beneficial to you. The time with them can be dedicated for you to learn and do as much research as you can on everything. Your bloodline, the five families, the history of Elementra, dream walking. Anything you think you need to put your mind to. If you need to come here and use the amplifier room during the day or whatever you may need here, you’re not on a schedule that would interfere with that. Plus, Cas or Draken can come with you.

“Also, you still need to train. We need to continue training as a group. I think Oakly and her Nexus should join us. She needs to learn the capabilities of what a true completed Nexus can do. So our mornings are going to look a little different when classes start back up. Other than that, you’ll just be fluid, like Cas.”

Huh.

Bringing my coffee to my lips, I hum over the rim as I try to paint a picture in my mind of what my days will look like. Honestly, not much different than they did prior to this decision.

With the obvious exceptions and additions, nothing drastic will change. Plus, I think it’ll take some pressure off me. I like the thought of dedicated time to focus on the issues at hand rather than letting them continue to rotate through my mind on repeat. Granted, that probably won’t significantly change because I fixate, but it’ll help.

I’ll never complain about time spent with Gaster and Oakly, but it’s exciting to think about adding Tanith and Keeper to the equation. I have so much to learn from Tanith, and Keeper has a realm of knowledge in his own right.

I like it.

“Sounds perfect to me, your highness,” I say, grinning and shooting him a wink, but I see one more issue on his tongue. One I don’t want to decide yet. “We’ll play it by ear on where we’ll stay. I’m not ready to decide.”

He smiles softly, understandingly. He feels it too. When I look at the other three, they do as well. Even though Cas hasn’t ventured into his room much other than to shower, he’s scoured my book collection, eavesdropped into the amplifier room, and ghosted through all the walls. I know he loves it here too. The decision feels impossible.

“Okay, princess. We’ll decide later,” he says, leaning over to lay a quick kiss on my hand.

Later.