46. Chapter 46

Chapter forty-six

Present

T he world around me shatters into a million fragments, each one slicing through the fragile air in my lungs. It's as if every breath is being squeezed out of me, leaving behind only emptiness. My life doesn't just flash before my eyes—it drowns me, dragging with it every dream, and every hope I've ever held onto. The life I lost, the love I lost, it all floods back, making my heart bleed. Every step I've taken in the past few weeks has been a lie, every breath a betrayal. My reality is a cruel illusion, and the woman standing before me—the love of my life—is nothing more than a phantom, a figment of my shattered mind.

I stare at Laelia, tears streaming down her face, and my heart screams for her to be real. This can't be my life. It just can't.

I take a few shaky steps back, my head shaking in denial, the truth too monstrous to accept. How could this be real? I see her, I feel her, and she's been here with me, changing right before my eyes.

"No," I whisper, my voice cracking under the weight of disbelief. Tears blur my vision, burning paths down my cheeks. "You can't be dead."

"I am," she replies, her voice breaking like fragile glass. "I died, Killian."

The words pierce through me, each one like a dagger to my soul. "I don't want to live in a world without you. Please, tell me I'm not imagining this, that this is just some horrible nightmare."

She doesn't answer. Instead, she closes her eyes, and when they reopen, they're filled with sorrow, deep and unending. "I can't tell you that. You know I'm not real. I died, Killian."

The truth slams into me like a tidal wave, and I collapse to my knees, the weight of my memories crushing my heart. Without her, I have nothing. I've lost everything.

"I c-can't live without you," I stammer, my voice barely a whisper.

She steps closer, kneeling in front of me. Her hand reaches out, resting against my cheek, but the warmth I crave is gone—I can't feel her anymore. "You know I'd do anything to be here with you, for both of us to be here with you."

"I can't feel you," I say, desperation clawing at my chest. I want to feel her touch, to bask in her warmth just one more time.

"That's because you're starting to remember, and soon, you won't see me anymore. It's the way it has to be."

"No!" The word rips from my throat, raw and broken. Tears pour from me like rain, unstoppable. "You can't leave me. I can't lose you again."

Her other hand rests over my heart, and tears spill from her eyes—tears I would give anything to wipe away. If she were real, I'd pull her into my arms and never let go. My whole world revolves around her, and without her, it's nothing but a bleak, empty void. What's left for me in this life if she isn't in it?

"No matter where life takes you, I'll always be with you," she says softly, her fingers brushing my forehead, then my chest. "I might not be here physically, but you know I'll be here and here."

She's etched into my soul, woven into the very fabric of my being. My heart belongs to her, and nothing will ever fill the voice she's leaving behind. No one will ever be her.

"It's all my fault," I choke out, the guilt a relentless torment. "I should've been more careful. If I'd paid attention to the road, you wouldn't have died."

"You know that's not true. It wasn't your fault, Killian. It was an accident— a terrible, freak accident."

I stare into her eyes, searching for the peace she always brought me, even as I'm drowning in this living hell. If love had the power to rewrite fate, I'd be living in the lie we built together, watching our family grow. But instead, I'm here, trapped in this nightmare.

"I love you, Laelia," I whisper, my voice trembling. "I can't imagine a life without you."

"Remember the life we had, Killian," she says, her hands gently cradling my face. "It was a beautiful life, even if it was cut short. It was ours. Feel everything—laugh, cry, love, and rage at the world, but live . Live for all three of us. I wish with everything in me that we could've had forever, but it wasn't meant to be. I love you, Killian. We both do. And until we meet again…this is goodbye."

She leans in, her lips brushing against mine, and a wave of peace washes over me. I close my eyes, clinging to the sensation, but when I open them, she's… gone.

I turn to face her headstone, my hand trembling as it rests over her name. I pray—desperately, hopelessly—that this is all just a cruel lie, but deep down, I know the truth. This is my reality.

"This can't be my life," I murmur, my voice breaking. "How am I supposed to go on without you? You're my forever."

Time will always be my enemy, and I'll never escape the heartbreak or the pain her death has left in its wake. I'll carry it with me until the day I join them. Maybe I was never meant for a happily ever after in this life. Maybe I was just meant to taste it, to hold it close, only to have it ripped away.

My heart will forever ache for what it's lost, for the love it will never have again.