13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

T he rhythmic thudding of a heartbeat mingles with the relentless clatter of wheels speeding over the floor, creating a disorienting racket that overwhelms my senses. Strobe-like flashes of light cut through the dimness, casting erratic shadows that seem to dance with each pulse of brilliance. My mind struggles to grasp any single detail as this dissonant noise envelops me, making the scene feel almost dreamlike.

Gradually, the background noise sharpens, emerging through the haze of flashing lights and frantic activity. Fragments of voices cut through the din, shouting urgently about a flat line. Each exclamation slices through the clamour, growing louder and more insistent as the lights flicker with increasing intensity. The air is thick with tension, crackling with a palpable sense of urgency.

In the midst of this chaos, a commanding voice bellows, “Stand back!”—a stark prelude to the mechanical whirring of equipment preparing for a jolt. Despite the frenetic preparations and mounting anxiety, my attention is inexplicably drawn to the flat line. Its persistent, monotonous beep—or rather, its absence—feels like a relentless drumbeat against the backdrop of confusion.

Why is this flat line so crucial? My mind races to understand its significance. It’s more than just a technical glitch; it symbolises a profound crisis. This unyielding silence where a heartbeat should be marks a critical threshold, where life teeters on the edge. It’s not merely an error on a monitor but a haunting symbol of a moment where the vital rhythm has ceased, casting a shadow over everything else. What does it mean for those around me? What is the significance of this absence, this void?

As I grapple with these questions, the chaotic scene around me begins to waver. The flashing lights and urgent voices start to dissolve, their intensity fading like a receding tide. The disorienting din softens to a distant murmur, and I feel myself slipping away from the frenzy.

Shooting upright, my heart races, and I release a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding. I swipe a trembling hand across my face, the sweat pouring from my pores a stark reminder of the unsettling experience I’ve just endured. This is the second time in recent memory that I've been jolted awake by something so bizarre it’s left me disoriented and anxious. I can’t even begin to fathom what’s causing these episodes. I haven’t indulged in any horror movies before bed, even though I used to, and I’ve been diligent about my sleep schedule, ensuring I get ample rest. As far as I can remember, this is all just figments of my imagination.

But why?

Glancing around the room, I realise it’s morning. Laelia’s side of the bed is empty and meticulously made. She must’ve left for work early, not wanting to disturb me.

A slight rustling near my feet catches my attention, and I spot Meatball, our cat. He leaps onto the bed and fixes me with an intense gaze. Clearly, he’s hungry, and with Laelia gone, it’s up to me to meet his demands.

“Have I become your favourite because your mum isn’t around?” I ask, though I don’t expect an answer. His large, expressive eyes are more than capable of melting anyone’s resolve. If it isn’t babies making women swoon, then it’s pets with their irresistible, pleading eyes.

Meatball meows again, and I sigh in resignation. “Alright, let’s get you fed.”

I slip out of bed and watch as Meatball dashes out of the room, likely heading straight for the kitchen in anticipation of breakfast.

I retrieve a pair of joggers from my drawer and, as I’m about to get dressed, hear another insistent meow. Turning to the doorway, I find Meatball sitting there, his gaze fixed on me, clearly instructing me to follow him. He’s lucky we love him so much.

Noticing that Meatball seems skinnier than usual, a pang of concern hits me. I don’t handle his feeding responsibilities regularly—that’s Laelia’s domain. It’s possible she’s been a bit forgetful lately, perhaps due to what they call “baby brain.” Could that be why she’s been neglecting his feedings?

Meatball meows again, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Alright, alright. I’m coming,” I say, shaking my head with a smile. I move towards him and follow him down the stairs. If Meatball had his way, he’d be a little pudgy by now, but thankfully, Laelia often falls for his charm and ensures he’s well-fed.

Entering the kitchen, Meatball bolts towards his designated spot, while I head to the cupboard to retrieve his food. As I fill his bowl, he brushes up against my ankles, clearly thrilled at the prospect of his meal. Once his bowl is full, he dives in with gusto, eating as if he’s been starved for days.

Satisfied that Meatball is now content and won’t be needing my attention for a while, I retreat upstairs to our bedroom, then into the bathroom. Stripping off my clothes, I step into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me. The scent of coconut, tangerine, and warm vanilla from the shampoo fills the air, transporting me back to a sunlit memory with Laelia.

In the summer of 2019, we ventured to Cape Verde, basking in the glorious sunshine. Every moment was a treasure: hand in hand strolls along the beach, gorging on all-inclusive delicacies until we felt we might burst, endless drinks, and swimming in both the sea and pool. The nights were filled with lively parties—from a white party and a chocolate fountain event where I indulged in an absurd amount of chocolate, to a glow-in-the-dark paint party where we got covered in vibrant, washable paint. And, of course, there were the unforgettable moments of intimacy, including a daring midday balcony escapade that was a first for both of us.

Turning off the shower, I step out, wrapping myself in a pink towel. I head to the bedroom, grab a fresh pair of boxers, and get dressed for the day. With my appearance refreshed and my beard and moustache neatly trimmed, I hurry downstairs to prepare a coffee.

In the kitchen, Laelia’s coffee mug sits on the counter, the red lipstick stain on its rim a telltale sign of her rushed departure. She must have quickly gulped down a cup of decaf before heading out.

Opening the fridge, I’m greeted by an unexpected sight: it’s stocked only with beer. When did this happen? Where’s the food? I wonder how I ended up with so much alcohol. Laelia usually handles the shopping because I tend to buy unnecessary items, but if she’s been too busy, she could have asked me to pick up some groceries.

Frustrated, I shut the fridge door and head back to the entryway to put on my shoes. To ease her workload, I decide to head to the store myself. I grab a backpack from under the stairs, knowing I won’t be picking up much, as my motorbike limits my carrying capacity.

As I open the front door, a flash of pink catches my eye. Laelia’s car keys sit on the cabinet, but if she’s gone to work, why are her keys still here? Did she arrange a lift instead? It’s unusual for her to carpool.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I quickly type a message and hit send.

Did you get a lift to work this morning, beautiful? Xx

I wait for a response, but none comes. It’s unusual for her not to reply right away. Maybe she's just busy? Considering her car is still here, I think it might be a good idea to do a big shop for us.

I put my keys and backpack down, grab Laelia’s car keys, and head towards her car. Before starting it, I adjust the seat for more legroom and send another text.

Just borrowing the car since you didn’t take it today. Thought I’d let you know in case you come home during the day. Xx

Love you xx

I place my phone in the centre console, turn the key, and start the engine. The sudden blast of music through the speakers makes me jump. Does she always keep it this loud?

Hearing the opening chords of “This Time I’m Ready” by Those Damn Crows brings a warm smile to my face. I recognise the song instantly and know she must have discovered this band through me. As the music swells, I close my eyes and let the rhythm guide me. I tap my fingers on the steering wheel in sync with the beat, and the sound transports me back to that unforgettable night in Manchester.

The concert was a brief yet electrifying experience. I had shelled out my hard-earned money just to see Those Damn Crows as they opened for the Goo Goo Dolls. I remember how, after their set, I made a beeline for home, not wanting to miss a second of their performance. Despite their set being short, it was packed with raw energy and undeniable talent. Shane, the lead singer, had a bit of a flub with the opening lines of this song, humorously declaring, “This time I’m not ready.” But the mishap only added to the charm of the night. The performance left me buzzing, eager for their next show in October. All I want now is to unwind, enjoy a cold beer, and lose myself in the music with a massive grin plastered on my face, and my favourite person by my side.

TAP! TAP!

The sudden noise makes me jump, and I open my eyes to see Andrea standing outside my car, her face lit up with a bright smile. I roll down the window, and she gushes with her usual warmth.

“Killian, dear!” she exclaims.

“Andrea! How are you?” I respond, returning her smile.

“I’m good. It’s wonderful to finally see you smiling again after everything you’ve been through. Heading off somewhere nice?”

Andrea is known throughout the estate for her kindness and exceptional baking skills. Everyone adores her, and even though Laelia has learned to bake a variety of treats, Andrea’s creations are still the gold standard. I’d never admit it to Laelia, though.

“Just heading out for a food shop. We’re running low on essentials. Nothing too exciting,” I say.

Andrea’s smile dims slightly. “Oh, Killian, you should have told me. I would have picked up groceries for you yesterday when I was out.”

“Oh, bless you, Andrea. It’s actually nice to get out and enjoy this beautiful sunshine,” I reply.

“That’s true,” she says, her smile brightening again. “Well, I’ll let you get on. Make sure to take care of yourself and that precious cat of yours.”

“You too, Andrea,” I say as I roll the window back up.

Andrea waves and heads back to her house, turning once more to give a cheerful wave before closing her door behind her.

With the groceries stowed away and the car parked back at home, I decide to walk to work. The sun is shining brightly, and I’m feeling optimistic. The nagging worries and night terrors seem a world away today. I embrace the good vibes and hope that today is shaping up to be a fantastic day.

I glance down at my phone and see that Laelia still hasn’t replied since this morning. A wave of worry hits me, and I quickly type out a new message.

Hope work is okay, beautiful xx

It’s unlike her to take four hours to reply. The longest she’s ever taken is two hours, and I can’t shake the uneasy feeling that something might be wrong. Maybe she’s just extremely busy?

I slip my phone back into my pocket and walk past Lola’s bakery, stopping to look through the window at the tempting array of baked goods. My stomach growls, and my mouth waters at the thought of a sweet treat. But instead of indulging my craving, I continue down the street towards the tattoo shop. I’m not supposed to be working today—Thursdays and Sundays are my days off this week. I’m only heading over because Laelia’s at work and the cold, unsettling feeling that lingers at home makes my skin crawl. I push those thoughts aside as I walk.

Before I reach the tattoo shop, I get a strange urge to look around, as if something is silently urging me to pay attention. I turn and see Laelia walking across the street, her attention focused on her bag. A car speeds towards her, and she seems completely unaware, still searching for something in her bag.

“Laelia!” I shout, trying to catch her attention. But she doesn’t hear me, and the car continues its relentless approach. “Laelia!” I shout again, my voice desperate. She doesn’t react. Without thinking, I run across the road, reaching her just in time. I grab her and pull her out of the way as the car slams on its brakes, the driver honking his horn furiously.

“Can’t you see someone’s crossing the road, asshole!” I shout at the driver.

The driver glares at me, giving me the finger. “Get out of the road, knob-head!” he yells back.

“You could have run her over!” I yell, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and relief.

The driver gives me a confused look. “You’re fucking nuts, man! I wouldn’t have run anyone over, besides you!”

I start to head towards the driver’s window, but Laelia’s hand on my arm stops me. “Just leave him alone. He must be blind,” she says, her voice steady despite the situation.

I give the driver one last scowl as he speeds off, throwing me a rude gesture. I’m filled with a mix of anger and gratitude, realising how close we came to disaster. If I hadn’t noticed her in time, it could have been her lying in the street, injured or worse.

Turning to face Laelia, I see her looking at me with shock and sorrow in her eyes. Her eyes are starting to well up, and my heart aches seeing her so shaken. “I’m so sorry,” she says softly. “I wasn’t paying attention. I was trying to find my phone.”

“Just be careful, beautiful,” I say, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. “God forbid anything happens to you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” The sincerity of my words makes a tear spill from my eye, which I quickly wipe away.

“Don’t start. We both know you’d be fine without me,” she says, trying to downplay the situation.

“I’d die of a broken heart,” I say, my voice cracking as another tear falls.

She reaches up and gently brushes the tear away with a tender smile. “Hormones,” she teases lightly, though her voice is soft. “Are you heading to work?” she asks, her eyes searching mine.

I nod. “I’ve just got to finish a drawing for a client tomorrow. Then I’ll be home.”

“And you?” I ask.

She sighs, her frustration evident. “Headache, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, and fever. The list keeps growing. I can’t stand it, let alone focus on my work. All I want is to make sure everything is up to date before maternity leave, and that the kids I’m looking after are in good hands. I don’t want them to struggle because I’m not there.”

Laelia’s compassion and dedication never cease to amaze me. Her selflessness, combined with everything else I adore about her, makes my heart ache with love. If it were just her compassion, I’d still be hers without a second thought.

“How about you go home and rest? I’ll grab a soup and a doughnut from Lola’s for you, just in case you start feeling better,” I suggest gently.

“But you’ve got to finish a design for someone,” she protests.

“I can finish it at home. You’re my priority, Laelia. Plus, today’s my day off. I thought being around people might help inspire the design, but like I said, you’re my priority,” I reassure her.

“Are you sure?” she asks, her eyes searching mine for confirmation.

“Positive,” I say, giving her a reassuring smile. Her smile in return is filled with relief. I lean in and give her a quick kiss, feeling her warmth against me.

“Now go home. I won’t be long,” I say, and she nods.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you too,” I reply, my heart full as I watch her walk away, hoping she finds comfort and rest at home.