11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

A fter a long and surreal day at work, I collapse onto our bed, burying my head in the pillow. I’m utterly exhausted, my body heavy with fatigue and my mind still reeling from the relentless grip of that nightmarish dream. It seems like every time I start to feel a semblance of calm, the nightmare resurfaces, dragging me back into its clutches.

Adding to the chaos, everyone around me is acting strangely, and I'm being bombarded with questions about how I’m doing. I understand it's meant to be a gesture of care, but it feels as though there's an underlying expectation that I'm not okay. Perhaps it’s just my overactive mind spinning out of control, amplifying the confusion I felt earlier today.

I need to remind myself that, despite all the current turbulence, things are steadily improving. Life is moving in a positive direction with the future that Laelia and I are building together. Nothing is going to derail that.

Turning my head slightly, still resting on the pillow, I let my gaze drift to the wall where Laelia's handmade box frame hangs. It holds her positive pregnancy test, a cherished artifact from just over a month ago. She wanted to capture and preserve that moment so that every time we see it, we are reminded of the day we learned such life-changing news. The sight of it brings a sense of grounding and hope amidst the chaos, a quiet testament to the beautiful future we’re working towards.

17th March 2023

Lounging on the living room sofa, with a steaming coffee on the table and a pile of snacks beside me, I’m deep into a FIFA showdown with Ethan and Jasper. For the past two hours, I've been schooling them in virtual soccer, and it's safe to say I've never met a pair of gamers as hopeless as these two.

"Come on, man. Just let me score once," Ethan whines through the headphones.

Ethan and Jasper are at home, probably in their pyjamas, while I'm here in my comfy fortress of snacks.

"If you weren’t so terrible, maybe you’d actually score," I taunt, savouring the victory.

"Fuck off, Killian. I can beat you at other things," Ethan retorts.

"The only thing you'll beat him in is how many STIs you’ve had. Killian's at zero. You’re... probably in the hundreds," Jasper chimes in.

"Fuck off, Jasper. At least I get laid," Ethan shoots back. "Besides, I'd beat him at other things."

"Like what? Smallest dick?" I shoot back.

A chorus of laughter erupts on the other end. "We both know you'll be winning that contest," Ethan says, his smirk almost audible.

“If it was small, I wouldn’t have Laelia. And who do you have?” I tease.

“Alright, alright, dickhead. Lay off. I got a text back from Brenda,” Ethan announces, his voice taking on a self-satisfied tone.

“Brenda?” Jasper asks, puzzled.

“I thought it was Caitlin?” I question, curious and a bit smug. “Fuck yeah!”

“You’re a prick,” Ethan mutters, obviously annoyed. “Caitlin was two weeks ago. It’s Brenda now.” He pauses, and I can almost hear him grinning. I roll my eyes. “She wants me to come over tonight.”

“Oink! Oink! Pig!” Jasper teases.

“Fuck off, Jasper,” Ethan mumbles, clearly annoyed.

I grab a handful of crisps and pop one into my mouth. “What are you eating?” Ethan asks.

“Crisp. Continue with the message,” I mumble through a mouthful. He clears his throat like he’s about to deliver a grand speech. “Don’t be a dick.”

“Anyway,” Ethan continues, “Brenda asked if I was free tonight. I said yes. She then said her flatmate’s gone away for the weekend and wants to know if I’d like to stay with her and do all this romantic stuff. As much as I’m not into the romantic crap she has planned, she’s got a killer body, and I wouldn’t mind hitting that a few times.”

“You’re a pig,” I say, with Jasper snorting again in the background.

“But you both love me anyway.” Ethan’s grin is practically audible.

“You’re alright. I suppose,” I tease.

"Love is a bit of a stretch. Tolerate is probably the word you're looking for," Jasper quips.

"Ha! Ha! You're hilarious, Jasper," Ethan retorts sarcastically.

As Ethan rambles on, I hear a sound behind me and turn to see Laelia standing in the doorway, wearing one of my oversized t-shirts. It swallows her whole, but she looks stunning as always. She’s been bedridden for five days with a nasty tummy bug she picked up in the Netherlands. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn’t catch it from eating reindeer.

Her face is a picture of concern. Her brows are furrowed, her lip bitten, and she’s fidgeting with the hem of my t-shirt. Something’s clearly wrong.

“I need to go check on Laelia. I’ll call you guys tomorrow morning,” I say, my tone shifting to serious.

“You little shit. That’s fine. Send Laelia my love and apologise for your small dick,” Ethan jokes.

“Fuck off.”

"That's fine, Killian. Go and check on your girl. Hope everything's okay," Jasper says. "Ignore Mr. Oinks-a-lot."

Ethan laughs. "Fuck off, Jasper, and love you too, Killian. Bye.”

“Bye,” I reply, tossing my headphones onto the sofa as I stand up.

I approach Laelia, but she remains still. I gently trace my fingers along her jaw, lifting her chin to meet my gaze. Her eyes are red and glistening with tears.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” I ask softly, and she looks away, biting her lip. Her eyes fill with more tears. “Hey,” I say, gently lifting her chin again. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

She nods, her eyes searching mine, as if looking for reassurance.

“I think you should sit down,” she says, her voice trembling.

I follow her to the sofa, sitting down as she joins me, placing the snacks on the table. She continues to fidget with the edge of my t-shirt, her silence heavy with unspoken words.

“Come on, beautiful. Spill,” I encourage, trying to smile reassuringly, but she doesn’t return it.

Her eyes dart around as though searching for the right words. “Let me guess? Meatball chewed up my favourite shoes again?” I joke. She lets out a small laugh and shakes her head. “The cat pissed on the bed again?” Another laugh and shake. “Is it bad?” I ask, growing more concerned. She shrugs. “Will I be annoyed?” I ask, and she shrugs again. “Come on, beautiful. Tell me.”

“I-I,” she stutters.

“What is it?” I ask, gently squeezing her hand.

“I’m… pregnant,” she blurts out, her voice barely a whisper.

I blink, my mind struggling to process her words. “What?” I ask, as if I might be imagining things.

“I’m… pregnant,” she repeats, letting go of my hands and fidgeting with the t-shirt again.

“You’re... pregnant?” I stammer, and she nods. “You’re pregnant!” I shout, excitement overtaking me. I scoop her up into a passionate kiss, and she responds with a smile, kissing me back.

“We’re having a baby!” I exclaim, my voice filled with joy.

“We’re having a baby,” she echoes, her smile radiating warmth.

“We’re having a baby!” I shout again, my heart soaring. I cover her face in kisses, and she giggles and squeals with delight.

“You’re not angry?” she asks, her voice tinged with worry.

“Angry? I’m ecstatic! I’m going to be a dad!” I shout, pulling her into a tight embrace as her happy tears mingle with mine.

As she pulls back, I gently caress her face, and she leans into my touch. “I know it’s not what we planned, especially since we’ve just gotten engaged, but I’m over the moon. You’re my everything, and having a mini version of you will be the cherry on top. I love you, Laelia, and I love our baby.”

“And I love you,” she says, her voice filled with emotion as she kisses me once more.