Thirteen

A s expected, the worst part of leaving was saying goodbye to the Cushing family. Gemma cried while I hugged her and rubbed her back, and I promised I would see her as soon as I got home.

"She'll remember, you know," Joey warned me. "She remembers stuff all the time that you think a little kid would never."

Since he was a little kid as well, I found his concern adorable.

Ash, who was a very smart man, gave Gemma a small solid-gold lapel pin that he told her was mine, and pinned it on her sweater.

"This way, you'll always have Cooper with you," he told her.

She was thrilled. Ainsley was not.

"You realize," she told me in confidence as we were waiting for the bride and her wedding party and friends to return from the early morning boat trip, "that he's now given me a small thing I have to keep track of in the laundry."

"Yeah, well, she's happy," I said, smiling as I watched her and Ash standing near the patio doors, him holding her as they looked at the boats in Penobscot Bay together.

"Yes, but I'm going to have to unpin and pin it, and?—"

"Never mind, look," I whispered, bumping her, tipping my head toward the entrance to the lobby, where the women who had gone out on the early morning boat ride were staggering in.

"Holy shit," Ainsley said under her breath, trying really hard not to smile. "They look like ass."

Wet, with windblown hair, but not in a sexy way, more in a convertible-without-a-scarf way. Many made it as far as the couches and collapsed. I noted that not one of them took off their sunglasses.

Sienna looked the best out of the entire bedraggled mob, and that was not saying much. She didn't stagger, she was shuffling, and crossed the lobby toward us. Bentley ran by her to the bathroom, while Jennifer didn't make it and threw up into a trash can near the concierge desk. What was impressive was that it was one of those with the hole in the side, so she had to tip it to make sure she didn't splatter.

"Was it worth it?" Ainsley asked Sienna as she reached us, shaking her head.

"Most were still drunk when we left," she told her. "Every one of us, including me, is hungover, and yes, it was so worth it, because I had an epiphany this morning."

"What's that?"

"He's never going to marry me."

Ainsley and I just looked at her because really, what were we supposed to say?

Crossing her arms, Sienna sighed deeply. "Damien's family is in Chicago," she explained. "He was in New York this past year for a merger, but he's going home soon."

I had gotten that from different conversations. Small wonder I hadn't run into him at home—he hadn't been in the city.

"He wants us to do the long-distance thing, since I can't leave New York," she said sadly. "My family is there, all my friends— not these people here, but the women I share my life with. My career is there. My life."

"Long distance can work," Ainsley told her. "Look at Ash and Cooper. They're committed, and if you are, it's doable."

She took off her oversize sunglasses then, and we both saw how red and puffy her eyes were. "Not when it's with someone who doesn't really care."

Ainsley stepped forward, arms open, and Sienna basically fell into her.

"I'm sorry I screamed the first night when your daughter was coming toward me."

"It was Valentino," Ainsley said, chuckling.

"But Cooper didn't care," she said, starting to cry.

"Yes, but Cooper was wearing a dark suit, sweetheart, which is not at all the same."

" It's Tom Ford ," I mouthed to Ainsley.

" Zip it ," she returned, making her eyes big so I would.

Once Sienna cried all over Ainsley, she cried all over me, and we made plans to see each other in the summer because she had to be in Chicago for a meeting at Sutter, a global real estate company based in my city.

"I won't be with Damien by then," she sniffled. "So maybe you could introduce me to your friend Rais?"

I smiled and nodded.

"That sounded like she might be healing already," Ainsley commented once Sienna left us. "And who is this Rais?"

I found him in my contacts and turned the phone to her.

"Oh my. Look at him," she said wistfully. "Are his shoulders quite that wide in real life?"

"Cooper," Jeff yelled at me, and when I turned, he shook his head at me.

Apparently, I was not allowed to show Jeff Cushing's wife man candy.

Ash had given the bad news to the bride that he would not be staying, but between paying for the wedding and allowing her trust to be paid out, there really was nothing she could say but thank you. We left without having to speak to anyone else.

At the airport, I got my first taste of what being with Ash in the wild would be like as so many people came up to say hello. He was gracious, but when I got the text that Jared Colter's plane was on the tarmac, I immediately extricated him from the crowd.

"I need to?—"

"No," I said sharply, pointing toward the door a man had just opened for us. He was taking us to the hangar where the jet was waiting. "We're leaving now."

He dropped his head, but I noted the quick flush on his cheeks and the shy smile. There was no doubt that Ashford Lennox liked to be told what to do. At least by me. I also loved that he was wearing my sweater. It was ridiculous to see that chocolate-brown shawl-collar cardigans were suddenly trending after the short time of us being at the airport and people spotting him in one. Watching him pull the collar over his face and inhale was amusing as well.

"That doesn't even smell like me," I grumbled as we walked through the heavy steel door and it was closed behind us.

"Yes, it does," he murmured, leaning into me, kissing the side of my neck. "But your skin is even better."

"You're very romantic, you know," I told him as we walked hand in hand toward another set of stairs.

"With you, yes, I seem to be," he said, drawing my hand under his arm and around so I was holding on to him even closer.

I'd been on Jared's plane before and was impressed, since I myself did not own a private jet. Ash didn't say anything.

"No? Not fancy enough for you?"

"It's wonderful," he told me. "But most importantly, your boss graciously loaned this to us so we didn't have to wait and could simply leave. I will always be grateful."

"Me too," I agreed, flopping down in my seat, smiling as he took the one right next to me and immediately leaned into my space.

Before we landed, he told me to put on my sunglasses.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to go blind."

I had no idea what that meant until we walked out into the main terminal of LAX. He wasn't even kidding. The sound of all the cameras clicking at once was one thing, the flashes were a whole other story.

"I'm sorry about this," he said, close to my ear. "I should have asked Levi to have a car here for?—"

"No," I said, lifting my sunglasses, pushing them back in my hair and smiling at everyone and waving. "I'm the boyfriend. I want everyone to see me."

His sharp exhale was not to be missed, nor was how tight he was holding my hand. The fact that everyone knew my name already and called it out to get me to turn and look should have been weird, but it was all right. I had agreed to live my life in the spotlight, and there was no going back now.

And then I had a thought that chilled me to the bone.

"What's wrong?" Ash asked, concerned, stepping in front of me, hands on my hips. "Why're you?—"

"I didn't call my mother or my sisters," I barely got out.

His laugh was warm and husky, though I had no idea what was funny. "You can call them later."

"No, you don't understand. I didn't call and tell them about us, and they're going to see me and you, us, for the first time on some site and?—"

"Is that it? You scared me for a second with?—"

"I'm so dead."

He squinted at me. "You look a bit off."

I might have whimpered.

"We'll call them from the car," he promised, then retook my hand and tugged me after him. "I think Levi took care of that for me, but this is why I really need an assistant as?—"

"Coop!"

The voice was familiar, and when I looked, there was Locryn Barnes. It was crazy that he was there, out of the blue, looking slightly pissed off like he always did. But that was normal, and at the moment, so very good. I was out of my element, nothing felt solid, and I needed to find a bit of balance.

"Get the fuck over here," he yelled.

He was himself, so I had to be as well. Sometimes all you needed was the smallest adjustment to course-correct.

"Hey, isn't that Nick Madison's?—"

"Come on." I took the lead, drawing Ash after me.

When I was close enough, I got the smirk that passed for a smile from my former colleague and forever friend before he grabbed me. It hurt a bit because he was never gentle, but that was normal as well.

"What are you doing here?" I asked when he let me go and offered his hand to Ash.

"Picking up you guys," he answered, and then said to my boyfriend, "Pleasure to meet you," in that thick, low, gravelly tone he had sometimes when he was truly pleased.

"Thanks for dressing up for me," I said sarcastically, noting the threadbare jeans, long-sleeve T-shirt that had seen better days, and a pair of motorcycle boots that I remembered being old when we used to work together.

"Anything for you, princess."

Ash could only stare.

Occasionally, Locryn Barnes could be quite magnetizing. Mostly, everyone saw what Ash had—the dark jet eyes, the glower of displeasure, and of course his hard, heavy muscular frame that did nothing to make him appear approachable.

But when he was happy, as he was now meeting Ash, it was easy to understand why a superstar like Nick Madison had fallen hard.

"The pleasure's all mine," Ash finally managed to choke out.

Locryn moved then, like he did, in bursts of speed that could freak out people who weren't used to him. He grabbed my bicep, put a hand between Ash's shoulder blades, and got us both moving.

"So this morning, as he does once he has access to all areas of a client's life, Owen did his regular check of security systems," Locryn explained as he got us on the escalator going down to the arrival area. "And lo and behold, you had a breach at your home in Malibu."

"What kind of breach?"

"An actual party I'm doubting you okayed," Locryn informed him. "Do me a favor—you got a hat in your duffel there?"

"I do," Ash said, smiling. "Would you like me in sunglasses as well?"

"Yes, please," Locryn said. "And gimme the bag."

Ash didn't want Locryn to have to roll his suitcase, so Locryn took our garment bags.

"You don't have to carry?—"

"Leave him alone," I told Ash. "Because really, you'd be better off arguing with your duffel bag than with Loc."

"I'm getting that," Ash agreed.

Once we were outside, Locryn explained that Ash had a lot of people at his house, using his pool, raiding his kitchen, drinking his booze, and snorting cocaine off his living room table.

"This is why wood is better. You have a lot of glass, which is just asking for trouble," Locryn said with a shrug.

"I don't—I hope you know that the drugs were not mine and?—"

Locryn lifted his hand. "We know. The cops have the dealers in custody."

"This is just?—"

"I know what you're thinking" Loc teased him. "It's too early in the morning for that amount of hedonism, but according to your very annoyed neighbors, it started last night, hasn't stopped, so really, not early."

"More ongoing," I offered.

"Correct."

"Oh dear God," Ash groaned miserably.

"It's okay," I soothed him. "It's been taken care of already."

Ash looked at me and then at Locryn, who waggled his eyebrows at him.

"You took care of it?"

"It's what I used to do, and technically what I still do," my friend told him. "I'm a fixer. That's my calling."

"I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to sound obtuse, but what exactly is it that you do now? I'm fairly certain you don't simply live with your husband."

"No. That could never happen. I'm a social worker. Which is why we keep that piece very private."

"Got it. So now you fix things for…?"

"For kids, mostly, but for others too," he said softly. "I try my very best."

After another moment of us standing outside the terminal, not moving, I cleared my throat.

"He's coming around," Locryn informed me. "There's traffic, you know."

"Is Nick Madison about to pick us up?" Ash asked. "Because if he is, I need a second to prepare for that."

Locryn scoffed. "Absolutely not. Nick only comes to airports when he flies in or out. Otherwise, never. And more importantly," he said, turning to Ash, "he can't drive."

"He can't drive?"

"I mean, he can. Technically. In the broad sense of yes, he understands the mechanics of it all and does, in fact, have a driver's license."

"I'm guessing he's not a good driver," I teased him.

"That would be the understatement of the year," Locryn said just as a black Chevy Suburban stopped in front of us. A very large man got out, the kind you knew instantly not to mess with, dressed in cargo pants and a T-shirt under an open flannel shirt. He opened the back and waited for us to get in.

"This is Isaias Ortiz," Locryn made the introduction. "He's one of Nick's bodyguards. Isai, this is Ash Lennox and my buddy Cooper Davis."

He shook hands with both of us, told Ash he was a big fan, after which they took a picture together so he could show his wife later, and then we all piled into the SUV.

"They thought Nick would be driving," Locryn told Isaias, and they shared a laugh.

"Nooo," Isaias drew out the word. "We do not want Nick behind the wheel. He has too many things buzzing around in his brain at any given moment to concentrate on anything as mundane as the suggestion of traffic lights."

"That's a good way of putting it," Locryn said, and then got up and moved back to a seat in front of Ash and me. "Okay, so about your house. It's taken some damage, to the point where you can't go there at the moment."

"What?" Ash sounded winded.

Locryn grimaced. "There's a…what is it?" he asked Isaias.

"Toyota Land Cruiser," the bodyguard supplied.

"Yeah," Locryn said. "A Toyota Land Cruiser in your pool."

"Holy shit!"

"Yeah," Locryn agreed. "It's a lot, and because of that you have structural damage and some flooding, not to mention your patio doors, which were cool and folded up—I think people were trying to manually close them instead of using the controls, so they're down now, and there was glass everywhere, and I'm guessing the wood was custom-made, so…yeah."

"You're telling me my house is trashed."

"Not trashed, as you have security making the rounds in your neighborhood, and since people complained, the cops were called, so all the people were herded out of there."

"But?" I asked.

"But that all didn't happen instantaneously, and there were more issues than just the ones at your house, so yes, it's a bit trashed."

"Define a bit," I insisted.

He winced like the telling would hurt. "Your bedroom is fine—good job with the keypad lock there—but there's just a lot of mess, broken glassware, and there was a small fire in the game room, but then, you know, the sprinklers came on, so there's that."

"Oh my God," Ash groaned, leaning back in his seat before turning to me. "I wanted you to see my refuge, I wanted to share that with you and?—"

"It'll be a refuge again," I soothed him, putting my hand on his face. "It'll just take a minute, which is fine."

He covered my hand with his, kissed my palm, then faced Locryn. "What do I need to do to?—"

"Nothing," Locryn assured him. "Brent Donovan—he's Nick's assistant—asked his friend Danika Howard to step in, since you don't have an assistant for whatever reason, and direct the restoration of your home. So she's there, after receiving clearance from your lawyer, Gina Savill, as well as a credit card and signatory authorization, directing the large cleanup crew, the locksmith, and the people taking the SUV out of your pool. She's also coordinating with Owen about your new security system and talking to him on Skype or whatever. I wasn't really listening to that part."

"You're telling me that Nick Madison's assistant found me someone to navigate this crisis and that person is at my house, at this very moment, coordinating this mess."

"Yeah."

"Have you met Danika?" I asked him.

"Yeah. She's been to our house with Brent. Really nice, very efficient, and when I spoke to her earlier, even though she was in crisis mode, you couldn't tell. That woman rows a steady boat, you know what I mean? Cool and collected."

Locryn went on to say that Danika had impeccable references and had been vetted by the FBI for her last position. Sadly, her employer had to return to Oslo for his family, and as she couldn't move that far from her own, she was, at the moment, between jobs. Not that she had not been flooded with offers already.

"I would like to speak to her," Ash told him.

"Yeah, you're going to. We'll call her for an update when we get home."

"I thought you said that?—"

"Oh no, not your home. My home. Your home is not livable at the moment, as there's so much to do. And nothing could even begin to get started until everyone was cleared out. Plus, she had to wait on LAPD to collect all the drugs and paraphernalia leftover. Cleaning crew couldn't begin until that was done."

Ash looked overwhelmed. "LAPD was at my house?"

"Remember when I said security called the cops?"

"Don't be you right now," I warned him.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "But yes, the cops were there the first time shooing people out, and then again because you don't just throw away drugs in the garbage can in the kitchen. It all has to be secured and then properly disposed of."

"Thank you," I said to my friend.

"Of course," he said like it was stupid of me to mention.

"Who threw the party?" Ash asked him.

Locryn yawned. "Owen will figure that out and let you know. He's going through footage from your house, all kinds of social media posts, pictures. Some guy walked the entire perimeter of your home, which I don't like at all, and neither does Owen, so that's why an entirely new security system is going in."

"What a shitshow," Ash grumbled.

"Seems to come with the territory when you're a celebrity. These things happen, unfortunately," he told Ash. "When I first became Nick's fixer, there were so many keys to his house floating around, and even more credit cards and people with access to his bank account. You don't have the funds issue, so that's great. And unlike Nick, your bedroom had a separate keypad lock, so nothing important was stolen. Owen was very pleased about that, as I mentioned, but now it's going to have a biometric lock, because he doesn't like the idea of trying to punch in numbers if you were being chased or something. He's a worrier."

Ash took a deep breath. "You did all this because Owen checked the security feed in my house?"

Locryn looked at me, and so Ash followed suit.

"We're fixers, Mr. Lennox," I teased him. "This is what we do."

He leaned into me, and I put my arm around his shoulders.

"It's all getting taken care of," I assured him. "Now let's do something really scary and introduce you to my sisters."

"I can't wait," he said, cupping my face and kissing me.

The video call with my sisters and mother, all their faces there on my laptop screen, would have been horrible, but Ash was the first one they saw, not me.

"Hello, everyone," he greeted them with a huge smile. "I'm so happy to meet you all."

"No one ever said you were stupid," Locryn praised me under his breath.

They were all so thrilled to meet Ash, couldn't wait to chat with him in person, and he said that as soon as he was done with his current project, he would fly to Chicago to meet them. When I finally leaned into the frame, Ash kissed my temple, and they all awwed, their smiles huge. Not that I wouldn't get hell when I got home, but I wouldn't have to beg their forgiveness for weeks. There would just be the normal yelling and the light smack on the back of the head from Cora.

Locryn and Nick's house in Santa Barbara was stunning. The driveway was lined in California privet and popcorn viburnum, and the house was flanked by thick, high hedges of boxwood. Inside it was open concept with an enormous kitchen on the left, and straight through, there was the living room that opened into a garden oasis. There were so many gorgeous mature trees, it was like an arboretum back there.

Leaving our bags by the door, Locryn walked us out onto an enormous patio, where you could see, if you followed the path, down below, a pool and cabana, and even farther down, a small cottage. The entire property was lined in Italian cypresses.

"We added the cottage last year for guests," Locryn explained. "You two are welcome to stay in the house, of course, we have room, but the cottage is nice too, and it has a beautiful view. There's a microwave, snacks, and a mini fridge stocked with water and juice and kombucha, for whatever fuckin' reason."

We had a great view of the valley from where we were, but the cottage looked like a dream.

"We'll take the cottage," Ash and I said at the same time.

Locryn chuckled and then gestured to his right where, under a pergola covered in wisteria, Nick Madison had just started strumming his guitar.

"Is he trying to look like he's in a movie?"

"Nope," Loc assured me. "He's just naturally beautiful."

When he saw us, his hand rose in greeting, and then, carrying the guitar, he crossed the grass. He didn't immediately greet us, though. Instead, he walked over to Locryn, slid a hand around his waist, and leaned in and kissed him. It was quick, but he didn't move away, instead he remained close, whispering something that made Locryn tip his head back and forth like maybe, and only then did he turn to us.

It was always to be remembered that Nick Madison was a superstar. Even in sneakers, jeans, a T-shirt, and what I suspected was one of Locryn's hoodies, with his messy brown mop of hair, big brown eyes, and brilliant smile, he was stunning. And what I admired most was that I'd seen him before my friend and after, and clearly, Locryn's love looked good on him.

"I've seen all your movies," he gushed to Ash, holding out his hand. "Such a thrill to have you in my home."

"Oh, the pleasure's all mine, believe me," Ash replied, clearly in awe of the musician standing in front of him.

"Well, we're both so happy to have you here," Nick said before turning to me, opening his arms.

Quickly, I stepped in and was wrapped up tight. I hugged him back and when I leaned out, found him grinning at me. "Oh God, what?"

"Just so you know, I backed up your story to the charming Levi Klein when I spoke to him on the phone yesterday."

"That was fast," Ash said, shaking his head.

"I told him the next time I was in LA, we would have lunch."

"That was very nice of you." Ash sighed. "I had no idea he could track down your number so quickly."

"He called my manager, said he wanted to talk to me about a song for your new movie, Emerald Dreams ."

Ash looked stunned. "You're writing a song for my movie?"

Nick smiled. "I figured for an Ashford Lennox movie, I had to say yes. Plus, I love the Jim Morrison quote, so I'm basing it off that."

Ash could only nod.

"I'll play what I have for you later, but right now, I'm starving. How 'bout you guys?"

"Yes," was all Ash could get out.

Nick gave him a gentle pat on his arm to get him moving back to the house. "I know you both just came from Maine, and it's much colder there, but it's brisk out here this morning."

Ash did a slow pan to me, and I rolled my eyes.

"You will pass out from the cold in Chicago," Locryn told both California boys.

"He always says that," Nick told Ash, "but I don't believe it. Not that I've been, but I was in Reykjavík for a concert. It gets cold there too."

Locryn was shaking his head as we went inside.

Nick explained that from where they were in Santa Barbara, it would be a very short ride to Montecito for Kit Riggs's funeral the following day.

"Thank you, that's so thoughtful."

"Cliff Connelly, another of my bodyguards, is on duty tomorrow, so he'll drive you and keep you safe while you're there. Locryn was going to do that, but I forbid him to be in bodyguard mode anymore, and more importantly, he's working."

Ash said again how much he appreciated everything and then excused himself to call Danika Howard, who had left her number with Owen, who had in turn given it to Locryn.

I went for a walk around the property just to move around, and after a bit, Ash joined me.

"I had no idea the funeral would be tomorrow," he said, taking hold of my hand. "I wanted this time just for us, and now my house is destroyed, and?—"

"It's not destroyed, just slightly banged up. And your new assistant, Danika—tell me you hired her."

"Of course I hired her and thanked her for everything. She'll be joining me in Turks and Caicos because I want her to confer with my new bodyguard, whom I'll be meeting as well."

"Two powerful women in your life. You're very lucky."

"I know," he agreed, stepping in front of me, putting his hands on my hips, looking into my eyes. "Listen, I?—"

"Wait, what I was going to say was that this is life. You wanted to spend time just the two of us, but things are never going to go exactly as we want. We both have demands on us and priorities, but as long as we're together, and committed, we'll carve out the time we need."

"Realizing that I have to leave in three days, and you'll fly home…that's hard to think about, but also, I'm not worried."

"Good."

"I still wish you were going with me," he grumbled.

"Oh, I dunno, Turks and Caicos or Chicago…it's a hard choice."

He stepped into me then, lifted just a bit, and kissed me.

I enjoyed kissing this man and hoped he would be doing it for the rest of my life. And with that thought came the truth of what I had to do.

Peeling my lips from his, I met his gaze.

"What?" he asked, needing to catch his breath.

"It's very fast, but?—"

"Fast is fine. I love fast," he assured me. "Say it. G'head."

I scowled at him.

"Just, c'mon."

"You're ridiculous."

"Yes, but that doesn't matter because…" He was smiling and nodding.

I shook my head at him.

"Come on, dive in. The water's warm."

"You're annoying."

"Like I've never heard that before," he said, cackling a bit, using my line from a couple of days prior.

"I love you, all right? I do. I'm invested in this life and this future you're promising me, and don't you dare change your mind or?—"

"No," he rushed out, taking my face in his hands, "I won't. I love you back, so much, more than you can imagine. This, us, has been a gift I never saw coming."

"Me too," I murmured.

"I promise you I will take such good care of your heart and keep it safe with me forever and always. You're all mine, Cooper Davis," he whispered, then kissed me, harder that time, voraciously, happily, thoroughly, so there could be no question in my mind that he felt the exact same way as me.

He was in love, and I was certainly the most fortunate of men.