CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Mir came awake slowly, with awareness of fingers brushing through their hair and a heavy, warm arm cradling their torso above the bump and below their swollen chest. It was odd how their chest swelling felt unnatural, but their pregnant belly felt right. Weird, just like the rest of me. But Tavish seemed to enjoy, or at least accept, everything they was.

Tavish groomed Mir sleepily, touching gently because he wanted to, with no ulterior motive. Contentment embraced their body and mind, but as they came a little more awake, they realized this wasn’t home. Foreign scent lay under their combined scent, and Mir could no longer detect themselves on Tavish. The events of yesterday crashed back. Mir’s heart sped up as memories and reality blended with their vivid dream.

“Sorry,” Tavish murmured and pulled away. “You were having a nightmare. Want to talk about it?”

Never in a million years. I’d rather remain a victim in your eyes, not a perpetrator. St. Tavish would never think about me the same way again.

Anxiety rising, Mir turned over as fast as their belly let them, stuck their butt out, and pressed their nose against his chest. Breathing in his scent, they searched for their own. His scent was stronger than normal despite his shower before bed. Then they caught a hint of cinnamon and their tension deflated like a popped balloon.

It wasn’t much, but at least an omega who had designs on Mir’s mate would smell it if the bitch got that close. And if she did, she’d better be more capable of defending herself than Natelle or that omega in Hell.

A long arm rested back on Mir, and fingers found their hair again, gently combing through the strands. The silent reassurance lulled Mir’s surging inner beast. Every touch, every calm breath, showed that fight or flight was unnecessary.

Last night, the only time shit really hit the fan was when they’d been apart. Mir had even coped with seeing Langish, who actually seemed like a decent person. Although, despite where he’d been, his twin had also never displayed overt aggression or cruelty. He’d just got the job done, whether Mir was cooperative or not. He’d also given Mir food, and, ultimately, he’d let Mir go.

Maybe all the Grabar alphas were like that until you crossed them. As it didn’t seem likely that Zepish would turn up, Mir decided to keep what they knew about him to themselves, for now, anyway. There were so many people here that they didn’t know. Despite this being Tavish’s childhood home, it wasn’t Mir’s and they had no idea how anyone would react. Getting back to Freedom Farm, rather than stirring up a wasp’s nest of trouble was the goal.

Despite their nightmare where Tavish had been egging Mir on to assault Natelle, Mir knew Tavish, in his gentle, firm way, would try to protect them from others and protect everyone else from Mir. If Tavish had been nearby, Natelle would never have said those things, and Mir wouldn’t have hit her. The sly glances and whispers they’d get today would be even worse than yesterday. And as much as Mir tried to convince themselves that they could be cool, calm, and collected under pressure, they would be skating on thin ice if something similar happened.

“Stay with me all day?” Mir stiffened when he didn’t immediately reply. They could almost hear Tavish’s brain picking out precise words to say ‘no’ without setting off the deranged, hormonal omega.

“I knew it.” Anger polluted the air even more, making Mir shrink, but they didn’t crouch or duck this time. He’d smelled upset as soon as Mir woke, although because of their constant nightmares, it was so common that they’d almost missed it. Mir’s nightmares usually left Tavish stewing in impotent fury as he could do nothing about an enemy who only existed in Mir’s fucked-up head.

“I fucking knew it,” the words exploded out of Tav’s mouth and Mir eyed the distance to the bathroom. Shutting up and at least trying to be a little ‘omega-ish’ would probably go down well with everyone today. It was a shame Mir had no idea how to fake refined omega behavior. Should’ve paid more attention last night, idiot.

Tav began pacing, from the window to the bedroom door and back again, movements tight and sharp.

“I knew this trip was a fucking bad idea. Fuck this, we should just go. We should never have come anyway. Documents or not, we were fine on Freedom Farm. I should have sworn Clay to secrecy and sent him on his way.”

Mir turned their head toward him so fast their neck cracked. Inch-long chest hair mussed by Mir’s fingers, Tavish stood in only his sleep shorts, fists at his sides and muscles in his thighs and shoulders bulging with tension. No one could mistake him for a big beta now. In fact, he looked like one of the first Malthusians, ready to take on an inhospitable new world.

Bloody magnificent.

Mir stood and walked slowly toward him, needing to prove to themselves, and Tavish that they weren’t afraid of him. “If you’d done that, are you confident Clay would have kept your secret? Although, you Grabars seem pretty good at that.”

Tavish winced visibly, but he damn well deserved that guilt. He rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s something else.” Mir’s heart stuttered, and they mentally braced for another shitty revelation. “Alphas and omegas have separate itineraries before these ceremonies.” He carried on, voice quickening as if attempting to prevent an imminent meltdown. “We can stay up here all day, show up for the ceremony, and then go straight home. We should be able to make the sleeper train from Malthus city.” His jaw flexed. “Actually, that sounds like a great idea. The thought of going through last night again, with them all staring and whispering and judging us on their pathetic, outdated—” His hands relaxed from their tight fists as he took a calming breath. “—is not exactly my favorite way to spend time either.”

A slow smile spread across Mir’s lips. “We’re really in this together, aren’t we?”

Tavish’s dark brows drew down. “Whatever gave you the idea that we weren’t?”

Mir couldn’t stop their eye roll. “A certain lack of shared information?”

Tav’s face screwed up, and Mir swore his cheeks were reddening. “I deserved that, but in my probably pathetic defense, I thought my reasons were valid,” Mir opened their mouth to retort, “which I know now is wrong. Utterly, completely, vastly, enormously, unreservedly—”

Mir rolled their eyes. “Did you swallow a dictionary as a kid?”

Closing the distance between them, Tav gently turned Mir around and wrapped his arms around them, one above their bump and one below. His breath tickled their ear. “Pretty much. Ma always liked it when I used long words.” Silence stretched as they gazed out the window. A small hill rose as if sheltering the house. From its steep sides, it wouldn’t be useful for crops or large animals to graze, although it remained devoid of anything but grass and a single tree at the summit. The serene scene seeped into Mir’s soul, calming them.

“How would you have reacted if I said I had a brother called Zepish back at Freedom Farm?”

Now it was Mir’s turn to wrinkle their nose. “I probably would have—”

“—stolen Cole and galloped off into the wild blue yonder?”

“Pretty much. But not Cole. That horse is an asshole.” Mir looked up and grinned, and Tavish grinned back. The connection between them wasn’t broken after all.

“At least that’s one thing we can agree on,” he said, then he let Mir go and reached for the wardrobe.

Faced with his back, rather than his face, Mir dragged up the courage to bring up the elephant in the room, but they couldn’t say his name.

“What are you going to do about your brother?”

Tavish slowly withdrew his hand and turned back to face Mir. They’d never seen such determination. “I won’t let him get away with it, but as long as he stays away, right now, with those pups nearly here, I’ll hold fire. But after they are—”

Anxiety flared. Tavish might be a match for his brother in a fair fight, but it wouldn’t be fair, the Owner had so many connections— Words exploded out of their mouth. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

Tavish seemed to get bigger, or maybe it was Mir shrinking at the sudden stink of alpha aggression.

“Sorry, sorry.” Tavish held up his hands in surrender. “Although I won’t know what went on until I’m given the details, if you ever feel able to do that, but I understand it’s traumatic. Which is why the past should be stuck on a shelf, until we are home, the babies are born, and we can both think straight in our own place. Then I’m going to shake as much as I can out of Clay, and I will politely badger you until I get all the facts, and then—”

Mir’s head began shaking without waiting for Tavish to finish. He walked around the bed, took their trembling hands in his, and said in a firm, calm voice, “And then, we, as partners and mates, will decide how to proceed. Ok?”

“And if he turns up here?”

Tavish’s eyebrows drew down, and another flair of alpha aggression hit Mir’s nose. “I’ll knock his damn head off.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Mir cupped his still growing barely more than stubble, beard. “You’re a fighter, but not with fists.”

He pulled away, body tense. “Hit an alpha where it hurts, why don’t you?”

Mir dredged up a smile. “Well, if you do that to him first, you might have a chance. I’ve found it to be a very effective strategy.”

Mouth open, he swallowed before squeaking, “You hit Zepish in the nuts?”

Mir shrugged and reached for the wardrobe themself. “Well, I tried, but he was ready for it, and I was high as a kite at the time thanks to the drugs. He won’t expect it from you. If I learned anything from my father, it was hit first, hit hard, and fight dirty. It’s better to be a dirty winner than an honorable loser with mashed nuts.

“While you think about that, I’ll go down and get us something to eat and you can tame that face fuzz.”

Tavish’s brows drew together. “I don’t think that’s a—”

Mir cocked their hip. “What? Am I likely to meet any monsters on the stairs?”

Their words freed more unwanted memories. Cold, hard eyes, grasping hands, knot after unwanted knot, pushing and stretching, keeping their seed inside. Knots Mir hadn’t wanted but was desperate to have. How the same act could feel so different with different people, Mir didn’t know. They thought once the heat drugs wore off, that they’d never genuinely want to have sex ever again.

But Hell must have broken something because what they’d done the last night at home had been great, but it hadn’t been enough. Mir had controlled things, and they wanted more of it. In their minds eye, Tavish beat the crap out of his alpha brother, then offered himself to Mir, ass high. The thought of mounting Tavish, biting his neck to claim lifelong ownership, caused their cock to harden.

Tavish shot to his feet and strode to the window. The light from the gap in the curtains bathed his hard, muscular body, bare apart from soft black cotton shorts that clung to everything Mir wanted to worship. Flinging the curtain’s back, he shoved the window open, and hung his upper body outside, taking deep lungfuls of air. By the Almighty’s balls, that ass looks fucking edible. Omegas were meant to be submissive in bed, but Mir was a proto-alpha and they wanted to take a bite out of that.

With the same abrupt movement, Tavish yanked the window closed, rattling it in its frame.

“Great, just great,” Tavish ground out. “I know I’m not the biggest or best alpha around here, but really?” He turned to face Mir, jaw set and muscles tense. “You’re turned on at the thought of sneaking around down there without me? Are you going to try what you did when we first met? Was I really just the first port in a storm?”

Alpha anger had them crashing to their knees onto the floor, head bowed.

“Please don’t do that.” Tavish took a step back and pushed a hand through his hair. “I apologize for growling, and I don’t really think you’d do… any of that. Sometimes this alpha stuff gets away from me, just like you can’t help how your body reacts to random thoughts. I should know that, judging from my amount of ‘shower time’ at home.” He tried a sheepish smile, but his scent hadn’t changed. He was still angry, but judging by the bulge in his shorts, complete with a growing damp patch, he was also turned on.

“Want me to erm…” Mir nodded at his groin, already wetting their lips with their tongue at the thought of licking and sucking that heated, hard, musky flesh.

Tavish bent at the waist, hands fisted on his thighs. “Ugh, you’re killing me here, Mir. But I don’t trust myself. Whether it’s because there are so many other alphas around or something else, I don’t know, but my control is hanging by a thread right now. And what I want to do to you would probably bring on labor.”

The thought of delivering here, in another omega’s home, poured ice-water on Mir’s desire.

“Can I grab the first shower?” Mir asked and used the bed to help them stand up again.

Tavish winced, and Mir knew he was imagining Mir in the shower, touching themself. “I’d suggest that we are both in need of shower time, but I think showering together would just exacerbate the situation. With extreme prejudice.”

Mir grinned. “I just love it when you use all those fancy words. Is exacerbate a posh way to say masturbate, because I could—”

Tavish’s arm shot out, pointing toward the half-open bathroom door. “Be gone, temptation.”

Mir laughed and reached for the hem of their nightshirt.

Tavish’s face twisted with genuine pain. “I mean it, Mir, stop it. Look.” He held out his hands, palms flat, and even with Mir’s crappy omega eyesight, they could see they were trembling.

Mir’s immediate instinct was to touch him and comfort his distress physically, but that would only make it worse. To stave off the impulse, Mir interlocked their fingers behind their back. “I am so sorry.”

Tavish didn’t meet Mir’s eyes as he dropped his arm and clenched his hand into a fist. “Yes, well, the sooner we’re out of here, the better. If an alpha even makes a comment, I think I might continue a trend and start throwing punches again.” He tried for a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. This really worried him. “The pair of us are going to start getting a reputation for violence. For the sake of everyone, I’ll go hang out with the betas for a while.”

Jealousy surged. “You’re not going to… with any of them, are you?”

Tavish palmed his cock, something Mir had never seen him do. Through gritting teeth, he said, “No, I’m not, but thanks for putting that thought in my head.”

“I’ll erm…” Mir waved a hand toward the bathroom. Once inside, Mir locked the door and listened intensely.

“I’ll go down and grab us something to eat,” Tavish said. “I’ll be about twenty minutes. Feel free to lock the door after me.”

As soon as the bedroom door clicked shut, Mir came out of the bathroom, noted that the dark blue bathrobe was missing from the back of the bedroom door before locking it. So much for being brave. After retreating back into the bathroom, Mir got in the shower and hurriedly did their best to rid themselves of any hint of omega scent.

Wanting to be dressed before Tavish returned, Mir opened the wardrobe. Having someone unknown putting their clothes away gave them the shivers, but this was how Tavish’s family lived. Mir’s distaste turned to anger as the clothes they’d brought with them hung behind several omega pregnancy smocks. No doubt Natelle’s cast-offs. With quick, precise movements, Mir pulled them off the hangers and dropped them on top of the four pairs of omega slippers that had also been left on the bottom of the wardrobe. Yes, it wasn’t the fault of the beta who’d put them in here, but hopefully, Mir’s rejection of the passive-aggressive hint that their clothing was not appropriate would be passed on to the hopefully bruised Prime omega.

The options that remained were few, as the beta sweatpants they’d worn on the train yesterday had vanished, and everyone would notice if they wore the fancy legging from last night. They picked a long-sleeved cream shirt to hide the shackle scars on their wrists, then grinned to themself while pulling out the brown canvas baggy beta bib overalls they usually used for farm chores. They bet Natelle hadn’t worn anything but a dress since they manifested, and they’d probably sneaked their Ma’s dresses as a pup too. Catching a rich alpha had probably always been their life goal.

Getting dressed took a little longer these days, and Mir had to hold their breath while twisting their foot sideways to put their socks and best boots on. If they’d brought the brown working boots with them, Mir would have put them on too.

A tap came on the door, but no one tried to open it. “Just me.” Mir smiled automatically at Tavish’s deep voice.

Mir waddled over, unclicked the lock, and opened it.

Tavish stood there, fully dressed in a canvas Grabar tartan kilt and a dark blue shirt. “I borrowed some stuff from the laundry, seems I’m the same size as Lang these days.”

He held up two paper-wrapped squares and a flask of tea. “I thought we could take a walk while we eat breakfast. It’s pretty manic down there already.”

“Bacon sandwiches?” Mir asked.

Tavish grinned. “What else?”

Ten minutes later, having negotiated a sea of betas rushing around trying to get things ready for later, they were walking up the hill Mir had seen from their bedroom window. A glance to their left showed far more buildings than Mir had seen when they arrived. Even with their poor eyesight, beyond the house and the formal garden, they could make out barns, a three-sided stable block, two multi-occupancy blocks, as well as fields with large brown and small white blobs, and a scattering of smaller buildings with hard-packed lanes snaking between. How much of this area belonged to the Grabar estate Mir didn’t know, but they suspected all of it.

They thought the dark smudges in the distance might be natural forest, or perhaps lakes, but this was the least natural large tract of land they’d ever seen. It seemed that the nearer you got to Malthus City, the less the environment mattered. Perhaps this was what had happened beyond the veil too. They finished the last of their sandwich, but Tav hadn’t even started yet.

Mir stopped when they almost bumped into Tavish. The slight summer breeze had dropped, and the lone tree shaded them from the morning sun.

“I thought you might like to see why I became an omega specialist.”

Mir followed Tavish’s gaze. Well-maintained gravestones sat at least twenty feet from each other, scattered across the sheltered side of the grassy hill. Around each stone were indistinct lumps, each around five and a half feet long, and two feet wide. Graves. Unmarked graves, lots of them. Tavish’s gaze focused on one in particular.

“Your Ma,” Mir confirmed.

“I won’t make you look at the rest of the family plot but suffice to say that every gravestone has a name with ‘ish’ on the end. The betas who built this place, the omegas who birthed and raised every one of these alphas, didn’t deserve to be remembered.”

Mir slipped their arm through Tavish’s as he continued to stare at the unremarkable patch of grass. “I wish I could have met her. She must have been wonderful to produce someone like you.” The words felt sour in their mouth. The omega who had birthed Tavish had also created the smooth-talking alpha in Hell whom Mir had hated almost more than the Owner, until he’d let Mir go.

Naked, in the night, in winter. Had it been an act of kindness or more gentle cruelty?

“I swore on this very spot that I’d get her a headstone the day we buried her. Twenty years later, it’s still like this.”

“Her memorial is right here.” Mir put their hand on his chest over his heart, wishing they’d been here at that time to comfort the angry, grief-stricken pup he’d been. But twenty years ago, Mir had been a pup too, struggling to cope with the loss of their own ma, including running a farm and being Ma to Tor and Cor.

Tavish’s hand covered Mir’s. “Thanks, that means a lot. I’d always hoped I’d make her proud. After she died, we were all told to dominate those younger than ourselves, to make sure they didn’t manifest. Zep took it to an extreme, but Lang would deliver a beating if I didn’t call him Sir too.” The urge to walk off, to avoid ever thinking about their abuser again, clawed at Mir’s throat. Zepish might not have beaten them, but he’d fucked them, let his offspring be disposed of like medical waste. His calm words, the soothing touches, had just been to keep the omegas compliant, like Mir had talked nonsense to the steers going to slaughter so they didn’t panic. Lost in his own thoughts, Tavish continued.

“When you said his name, I should have told you I recognized it, but I convinced myself it must be some other alpha because my brother wouldn’t... couldn’t—” Tavish shook his head, the scent of distress hit Mir before the summer breeze whisked it away.

Tavish’s arm tensed under Mir’s palm.

“I didn’t believe my sibs would reject me because I manifested either, but they did, although from what you said, they regretted it later. But it was too late by then. What your sibs do is not—”

Tavish rounded on Mir, spots of anger color on his cheeks. “Your siblings were only ten, and I should have told you about them as soon as I found that article. They have been searching for you, in fact, they’ve—”

Mir pulled their hand away, not wanting to pollute this wonderful person with their touch.

“You don’t understand. They’ll never want me back; you shouldn’t want me either. The crap that I did… I was so—”

“You did what you had to do to survive; if you hadn’t, those babies in there wouldn’t have had a chance of life.” Waves of anger rolled off him. “And my own flesh and blood was complicit in it, wasn’t he? Are all these scars due to him?”

Mir couldn’t say no, couldn’t say yes. Zepish hadn’t hurt Mir, not like the others, but he had put them in Hell, or maybe that had been Makish, or the doctor. Whatever they said, it would lead to more questions, and the last thing Mir wanted to admit was just how many knots they’d taken. How many alphas could be the sires of the babies. Unconsciously, Mir’s hand went to their belly.

With a roar, Tavish’s sandwich, still in its paper wrap, went flying over Mir’s head to disappear somewhere on the other side of the hill.

“I knew it, I fucking knew it. I’m going to rip his fucking throat out. There’s nowhere he can hide that I won’t find him. That little shit Clay knows where he is, or at least his last address, and I swear I’ll get it out of him.”

If Tavish went to Hell, the Owner would kill him. One bookish alpha wouldn’t stand any more of a chance against the resources the Owner wielded than Mir had. “Tavish, please, you don’t know what—”

“I’m going to fucking kill him, brother or not, he’s hurt my mate, my babies and…”

Mir stared at him in confusion, but he was too far into his rage to notice, as he started down the hill utterly deranged.

In this state, Mir doubted Tavish would bother to distinguish between his identical twin brothers. His father might have thought his son punching him yesterday was amusing, but Mir doubted he’d find Tav trying to rip his heir’s head off funny. Plus, if he was anything like his sire, Langish wouldn’t just stand there and let his newly alphaed little brother take a swing at him in front of all his guardian ceremony guests.

Mir set off down the hill after him at a stuttering run. Not being able to see their feet, plus their unwieldy belly made a fall likely, but they couldn’t lose him; his father and brother would make mincemeat of him. He hadn’t started running yet, but by the tense set of his shoulders, that was only heartbeats away.

“Tavish, for god’s sake, stop, please stop…”

He slowed, nose in the air, but relief rushed through Mir as he turned back to them. Eyes wild, fists clenched, and face flushed, Mir saw nothing of the kind, gentle alpha they knew.

“Go back to the room,” he ground out. “This is alpha business. It’s my right to protect my mate, my offspring.”

Mir knew all about losing yourself in rage, but it had never worked out well. They needed to smack Tavish out of this before he did something he’d regret for the rest of his life and probably land him in jail.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Mir hissed. “We’re not mates, not for real, and these aren’t yours.”

Tav’s head jerked to the side as if Mir had struck him. His eyes narrowed, and lips quivered in a snarl, focusing on Mir as the source of the challenge to his authority.

Heart racing, and cursing the impulse to chase a furious alpha, Mir backed up a step and held their hands up, palms forward. “Tav, snap out of it. It’s me, Mir, I’m not a threat—”

Tav’s eyes widened, and he gasped, mouth opening and closing, before he sat down heavily on the grass, leaned away, and retched, puking onto the grass. After wiping his mouth on his arm, he brought his knees up, rested his elbows on them, head lowered. The unmistakable sound of someone trying to control a panic attack with measured breathing tore through the tranquility.

With difficulty, Mir lowered themself to the grass beside him. Not touching, not talking, simply gazing out at the land that his family owned for as far as Mir could see.

After a few minutes of silence, Mir glanced over. Their stupidly brave, recently psychotic, and formally bookish alpha had his elbows on his knees and his head hanging. Defeated and in pain, thanks to them.

“Sorry. I couldn’t let you storm off like that. I thought you were going to go for Langish. He hasn’t done anything wrong.” Mir didn’t mention Zepish in case it set Tavish off again.

With a sigh, Tavish rubbed his forehead. Gray and drooping, he appeared exhausted, not like someone who’d had a good night’s sleep. At least he wasn’t threatening to murder anyone anymore.

“I think I know what’s going on.” He flopped back onto the grass, one arm over his eyes as if trying to hide from reality or Mir.

To Mir’s surprise, he huffed out a laugh. “A decade studying Malthusian reproduction, and it never even occurred to me, even after what Tom said.”

“Tom?”

“One of the neighbors.” He brought his other hand up until he hid his face like a pup playing peek-a-boo. “God’s balls in a basket. They say doctors should never doctor themselves, and this is the reason why.” He dropped his hands but stared up at the clouds that were gently traversing the sky about them rather than Mir. Taking the hint, Mir laid back too. They couldn’t have picked a more beautiful day for the ceremony.

The cloud resembling a horse had lost its head by the time Tavish spoke again. “You know I only manifested a little while ago, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, you’re the first omega I’ve had significant contact with since I manifested. I stayed at the hospital for a couple of months afterward, but the omega patients changed regularly and there were always betas around.” Mir didn’t see where this was going at all.

Tavish sighed again. “We’ve been spending every moment, waking and sleeping together, with nobody else involved. Although we weren’t intimate until the night before last, we both know I’ve been reacting physically to your presence since we met. Not having my knot contained after we swapped fluid was enough to kick me over the edge. Simply put, my endocrine system is reacting to your pregnancy hormones.” He stopped talking as if he’d explained everything.

Mir didn’t have a clue. “And…”

“And… my stupid alpha body thinks you’re really my mate and the babies are mine. I’ve been thinking about nothing but bonding you for the last twenty-four hours. The thought of Zepish hurting you sent me into full instinctive protection mode. I didn’t even think about it. If Zepish had been here, I really would’ve tried to kill him. And then when you said I wasn’t your mate, it felt as if someone had kicked me in the nuts and sucker punched me.”

Mir stiffened. “You only like me because we’ve been stuck together?”

A groan emerged from deep in his chest. “Ah fuck, I didn’t mean that. It’s just…. Fuck I don’t know what I mean. I feel what I feel. I just want you, right here next to me for the rest of time.”

Having your body control you, rather than your brain, was a new, unexpected, and unpleasant experience for Tav. It had been happening to Mir for a damn decade.

“So you’re all ‘woe is me’ because your body was in control rather than your mind for a while?”

When he jerked his face toward them and stared in shock, Mir gave him a sunny smile. “Welcome to my world.”

He groaned and covered his eyes with his forearm again.

“And I had to pick an omega with a smart mouth to go all psycho over,” he said, but there was a smile in his voice, and his lips were twitching.

“So, Doctor, how do we treat this horrible affliction of yours?”

“We’ve got two choices. I go as much ‘cold turkey’ as we can manage while we’re here, which might make me worse before it gets better, or…”

“Or I do this.” Mir inched over, laid their head on his shoulder, and cuddled in.

Tavish let out a heartfelt groan, turned on his side, wrapped his arms around Mir and took a huge sniff of their hair.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And so my dastardly plan finally succeeds. Although I’ve got to give you points for holding out for so long.”

Tavish leaned up on his elbow. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”

“I have a few, make that more than a few ideas, but I don’t suppose the ceremony guests will be happy to see us doing them up here on the family burial plot. But I’ll settle for a kiss.”

He leaned down, and Mir stopped him with a hand on his chest. “On second thoughts, how about we hold that thought until you’ve rinsed your mouth and we’ve moved away from the puke?”

“You are such a spoilsport.” Then he was up and holding out his hands. The gentle, firm pull was exactly what Mir needed to stand without feeling, and looking, like a beached whale.

“Why thank you kind sir.”

He wrapped an arm around Mir’s shoulders and pulled them together as if he couldn’t stand any space between them.

Mir counted their steps, waiting for his enquiring mind to kick in.

“I know I said I’d wait until we got home, but about Zep—”

“Don’t ask, you won’t like the answer,” Mir growled at another broken promise.

His frown deepened. “I’ve told you before, none of what happened to you—”

“Is my fault,” they interrupted him. “I know. It still doesn’t mean I want to tell you all the details. For one, you need to keep a lid on your ‘endocrine’ reaction. Two, you promised you wouldn’t bring this up before we got home. And three, yes, your brother was there, or at least I assume it was him. I’d have to check his scent to be sure, my eyesight is pretty shit, but my sense of smell never left me. Somebody could have been impersonating him, and you did say half the people around here are part Grabar.” Mir didn’t doubt the alpha in Hell was Tavish’s brother, but clouding the issue might help him get through this visit.

“But that person didn’t directly cause any of the scars. It was sordid and disgusting, and I don’t want you looking at me with sympathy.” And that was all the self-pity Mir allowed themself. Time to lighten the mood.

“Although, appreciation for my many epic skills, occasional exasperation, joy, and lust are all fine. I’m a mess, mind, body, and soul, and I always will be,” Mir held up their hand again to stop any more platitudes.

“And I know you know that, and ‘it’s not my fault,’” Mir parroted, rolling their eyes. “But I want us to forget about it as much as possible for the sake of this lot.” Mir stroked a hand over their belly.

As they’d reached the bottom of the hill and were within a few hundred yards of the front door, Mir turned their attention to what they would have to face before getting back on that damn train.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

Tavish didn’t look particularly pleased with Mir’s little speech, but it appeared he wasn’t going to launch into another lecture right now. As much as Mir loved him, the condescension and apologies, and being treated as if they was made of glass got on Mir’s nerves. They’d just talked him down from going all axe-murdery on his brother for fuck’s sake. Yes, they was horrendously pregnant right now, but they was still Mir, a tough little shit from the wrong side of town, not an eyelash-batting, delicate flower.

“The ceremony is this evening, but remember what I said up in the room? We’re expected to attend omega and alpha functions this afternoon.”

Fuck, yes Mir had forgotten. Being separated from Tavish for any length of time, especially being surrounded by a bunch of omegas—who knew how to be omegas—one of whom probably had a black eye from Mir, sent anxiety flaring. Natelle alone would be a breeze, but a dozen?

“Number?”

“What?” Mir snapped.

“One to ten, how high is your anxiety?”

Mir scowled at him. “Do you always have to play Dr. Smug? Maybe I should start asking how cranky you’re feeling?” The sunny smile on his face made Mir growl.

“We can definitely talk about that, but I am what I am, Mir, just like you are.”

Yeah, but you’re something to be proud of, an educated alpha, while I’m a big assed, foul-mouthed skanky omega who can barely read and write.

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Hunch down and try to make yourself smaller. I like you just the way you are.”

“You’re only saying that because your hormones are out of whack,” Mir grumbled and stomped toward the place they didn’t want to be.

“Come here,” Tavish ordered. With a sigh and an eyeroll and feeling immensely stupid, Mir did their best to turn on their heel and shuffle back to him. He enfolded them in his arms, no talking, no judgment, just understanding. It felt wonderful, especially as he started to run his fingers through Mir’s hair, but it wasn’t real.

Tavish only wanted them because of this stupid hormone thing, just like the alphas in Hell had only wanted Mir because of the drug-induced heat. In fact, the only person who had ever really wanted Mir, once they’d manifested, was the Owner. And even he hadn’t bothered to call for Mir until the drugs had done their work.

“I thought we could do the tour thing for the rest of the morning before it all goes crazy later on. Dad always did have some fantastic bloodstock. Cole would fit right in here.”

Taking his cue, Mir stepped away from him and smiled. “Fancy horses? I’m up for that.”