Chapter 7

7

“Early morning,”my dad said around a mouthful of his breakfast burrito.

I checked the time on my phone before I glanced up.

“You’re gonna choke if you don’t slow down, old man.”

Without missing a beat my dad went in for the kill shot. “Your mom said you were up and out of the house before she got up this morning.”

It felt like I’d been catapulted back twenty-five years to a time when I had to report to my parents where I was going and what time I’d be home.

“Yep.”

I ignored my dad’s brow lift at my vague replay and instead moved us to a safer topic.

“The bruising’s almost gone.”

“Changing the subject,” he rightly noted.

“Yep.”

“Did you talk to Mellie?”

Fuck.

“Yep.”

“They teach you that evasive shit in the Navy?”

I stopped studying the light discoloration on my dad’s forehead and looked at him straight on. Concern was etched deep in his expression. The man was not going to give up.

“I spoke to Mellie.”

“Are you going to handle that situation?”

I was wrong. He wasn’t concerned about where I’d been or what I was doing. He was worried about Melissa.

“Yes. I already talked to my team. One of the guys, Cash will be here later today, and another teammate is running intel for me. She’ll be out here in a few days.”

“Good friends,” he muttered.

My jaw clenched involuntarily and it took more effort than normal to stop the guilt from filling my lungs.

“Morning,” Melissa chirped from the doorway and I blew out breath.

“Mornin’, girly. Sleep well?”

What the fuck?

Melissa’s step faltered and her eyes sliced to mine. I gave her a short shake of my head and hoped she could still read me.

“Eh,” she grunted noncommittally when she looked back at my dad. “How was your night?”

“Can’t sleep in this place. Bed sucks and the nurses are—”

“Dad.”

“What? It’s the truth. I want to go home.”

Melissa stopped by the side of the bed and smiled.

No, she didn’t smile. She beamed her big, bright smile at my dad and with it she casted her light over the room.

“Only a few more days and you’ll be home. Has Lena been in yet to check on you?”

“Yes, and just to give you feedback, if she was my nurse every day I wouldn’t complain.”

Mellie’s husky laugh filled the room, and I was back to clenching my jaw. How was it possible after all these years the sound could still excite me? If I allowed myself to get lost in the familiarity of it, I could easily drown in the memories, and I’d done enough wandering down memory lane in the last eighteen hours. I had to put a stop to this shit before I did something even more regrettable than fucking her and begged for her forgiveness.

Hell, I’d barely stopped myself from doing just that before she’d disappeared into the bathroom. I had to hand it to Melissa, she’d been a good sport this morning and not thrown a conniption fit about waking up to me sitting in her bedroom like a creepy fucking stalker, but she couldn’t fully hide the pain I’d caused her.

I’d warred with myself for hours before I went back, telling myself I was only going to her apartment to make sure she was okay when really, I just needed to be with her. Then when I found her door unlocked, I told myself I was going in to teach her a lesson about safety. And when I found her curled into a tight ball asleep my need to be near her superseded logic.

For fucking hours, I told myself to leave. But once the memories started to flood in, I couldn’t get my goddamn legs to work. Memories that I’d suppressed for a decade. Cash, Easton, Jonas, and Smith—us sitting around shooting the shit.

My brothers.

Brothers I’d abandoned.

Those same brothers who’d gone on a righteous crusade to avenge Finn Winters. A mission that was for naught. They’d given up ten years of their lives for nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

“Garrett?” My father’s voice pulled me from my nightmare.

“Yeah?”

“When did you say your friend was getting in?”

Dave Davis was a smart man. The only person I knew who could read a room faster and more efficiently was my boss. Over the years I had mastered indifference. I had learned and practiced wearing hundreds of different masks—only two people could see through my bullshit.

My father and Zane Lewis.

And right then my father had me pinned in place with a stare that scared the fuck out of me. He’d never bought my bullshit, but he’d always given me space. Yesterday proved he was done keeping quiet about my personal life and the look he was sporting clearly stated he was done with the rest.

Fuck.

“Later this afternoon.”

“What’d you say this fella’s name was?”

“Cash,” I bit out.

“That’s it,” he feigned like he’d forgotten when I knew damn well, he hadn’t.

“Maybe…” Mellie started. “I should leave. I have some referrals to…um…get to.”

Clearly Melissa felt the vibe in the room had turned from uncomfortable to downright toxic. At this point, she probably knew my father better than I did seeing as she’d spent more time with him in a single year than I had in the last seventeen combined.

I watched as my dad’s gaze jumped from me to Melissa then back to me.

“I’d leave if I could,” my dad muttered. “Give you two kids some privacy.”

The last thing I needed was to be alone with Melissa. Especially when the visions of taking her against the wall were still fresh in my mind. Not when I’d spent the night watching her sleep, listening to her breathing, her closeness meaning for the first time since I’d left her I was free.

Free to feel.

Free to remember.

In the dark with Mellie close I was safe to just be me.

But right now I didn’t need to feel or reminisce.

I needed to stay focused.

“Tension’s so thick you could cut it with a knife.”

My molars ground together at my dad’s continued mumbling.

“I think that’s heartburn from Franco’s,” Mellie teased and pointed to the white and red burrito wrapper. “Everyone knows—the bakery for breakfast, Franco’s for lunch, and Smokers for dinner.”

“Yeah, well, beggars can’t be choosers and my son here acts like he’s an out-of-towner every time he comes home instead of the native he is.”

I rolled my eyes to the white tile ceiling and kept my gaze averted when I said, “You asked for Franco’s, Dad. I still have the text. I asked if you wanted the bakery.”

“What, now a man’s gotta defend his breakfast choices?”

Once again Mellie giggled. The sound filtered through me, and fuck me if I couldn’t stop my smile.

“Lord have mercy,” my aunt very loudly proclaimed. “He smiles. I haven’t seen my handsome nephew’s beautiful smile once since he’s been home.”

Fucking hell.

“In fairness, there hasn’t been much to smile about,” she went on. “But now that Davey’s on the mend we can all rejoice.”

Yeah, there it was, my theatrical Aunt Betty was out in full force.

“Keep it down, Betty, you’ll wake the other patients,” my dad chastised. “And I’m giving you a pass on the Davey shit this once. Haven’t been Davey since I was ten.”

“You’ll always be Davey to me,” she clucked.

“Then we’ll go back to calling you—”

“No, no, Dave, no need.”

I heard this same back and forth all my life and now at thirty-eight I still didn’t know my aunt’s childhood nickname. My dad always threatened to tell, and Aunt Betty always relented right before he spilled.

“Where’s my wife?”

“I better get back to work,” Mellie cut in.

“Of course. Garrett will walk you out.”

“Dad—”

“I think I can find my way.”

The thread of panic in Mellie’s tone drew my attention from the bickering siblings to the other side of the bed where she was cautiously backing up.

Fuck, she was gorgeous.

I had watched her go from a skinny little girl to a pretty teenager to a stunning young woman. In the years I’d been gone she’d only matured into beauty.

When her eyes locked onto mine I saw it—weariness. Not tiredness from a restless night’s sleep. Not fatigue from working long hours and dealing with family issues.

Bone-deep exhaustion that took years to accumulate and settle in.

I felt that to my core.

I also wanted to know what had happened in Melissa’s life that had embedded itself so acutely it shone from her pretty eyes.

Mellie tore her gaze from mine, smiled at my aunt, gave her a muttered, “Nice seeing you, Betty.” Then she all but jogged out of the room.

“You should go to her.”

“Dad. Respect, but stay out of it.”

“Son. Respect,” he mimicked. “But that’s not gonna happen. You left that girl once. Don’t make the same mistake twice.”

My ass stayed firmly planted in the chair with my hand gripping the armrests to prevent my legs from doing what they had a mind to do—going after her.

“Your father’s right, Garrett,” my aunt softly agreed.

Great. Now Drama Queen Aunt Betty was getting into the mix.

“Aunt—”

“A woman may love many men in her life but there will always be that one. The one special one that touches her soul and makes her come alive. He may not be the love of her lifetime, but he’ll be the love of her life. That is who you are to that woman. And Garrett, that is who she is to you, too. We all knew it from the time you two were children. We all knew it when you broke up with her. We knew it when she tried to move on. And we all know it now. So why in the world are you allowing the woman you love to suffer through the rest of her life without you? Or the better question is, why are you punishing yourself?”

The next exhale burned.

And the one after that scorched my throat as I tried to suck in oxygen.

Why are you punishing yourself?

If only she knew all the reasons why, she’d run screaming in horror.