Chapter 22

22

We’d decidedto meet at Jonas’s townhouse since he lived closest to me. Though calling his pad a condo seemed ridiculous seeing as it was nearly three-thousand square feet, and his backyard wasn’t much smaller than mine. Though he did share a wall with his neighbor but the clubhouse, pool, and driving range made up for that inconvenience.

After donuts, the guys and Kira left. I waited for Jeremy and Katherine to get home from the store, unpacked the groceries, made sure they were settled, then I left them to talk to Christian. When I left, Melissa looked grief stricken, Katherine looked devastated, and Jeremy looked haggard. It was enough to make me want to talk Mellie into allowing me to stay. But then I saw Christian playing with Gracie on the floor and I remembered this wasn’t about me or Melissa or doing what I wanted to do to protect her. It was about a six-year-old little boy who had lost both his parents. It was also about Gracie, but fortunately—or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it—she would not remember the day she was told her mother was gone nor would she remember today.

So after kissing Melissa goodbye I left.

Now I was parking in Jonas’s complex, getting ready to face a group of men I’d abandoned. Being worried about Mellie and her family’s state of mind, I hadn’t had time to think about my own, which was a damn good thing, or I might’ve backed out and this needed to get done.

I had to free myself of the guilt that ate at me every day, or I’d never be able to give Mellie what she needed. I had to heal my past to look forward to the future or I’d stay rooted in place. I needed to be whole. That was what Melissa deserved so that was what I was going to give her, not this half-alive, half-breathing, shell of the man I used to be.

I glanced around the parking lot noting my teammates’ trucks.

Yep.

They were all in there waiting for me.

Waiting for me to admit I was a piece of shit coward who tucked tail and ran away like a pussy.

Fuck.

I wasn’t even on the porch when Jonas opened the door.

“Mellie okay when you left her?”

My day started waking up with Melissa in my bed for the first time with a little boy between us and a screaming baby down the hall. My day would end with Melissa in my bed, with a little boy between us.

The time between would suck for both of us.

However, it began and ended with us being together so we could handle the between.

“Not even a little bit,” I answered honestly.

“Damn, G, I feel for those kids.”

“So do I, brother.”

Jonas rocked back.

So it begins.

He wordlessly stepped aside and let me enter.

Right out of the gate I was reminded I was an asshole. Cash, Easton, and Smith were lounging on Jonas’s couch like they’d done it a hundred times, which they probably had. I’d been inside his house once and declined all other invitations.

I was a prick.

“Yo,” I greeted. “Where’s Theo and Coop?”

“Team meeting,” Easton explained.

“What, do I not count, since I’m a woman?” Kira asked, coming out of the kitchen juggling four beers. “And the first asshole who comments on the only girl in the group delivering the beers gets a nut tap.”

“That sounds kinky, KK. Good thing your man’s not around to hear you propositioning us,” Easton good-naturedly ribbed.

“Like I’d pick you if I was gonna proposition any of you idiots.”

“Wanna beer? Whisky? Both?” Jonas offered.

“Beer. I’ll get it if that’s cool.”

“It’s cool this time. But don’t ever ask that shit again. You’re not a guest, you’re family.”

He didn’t wait around to see the devastation his comment wrought.

I quickly grabbed my beer and sat in the only available chair.

How the fuck was I going to start this?

“We called in a pizza since Jonas still hasn’t learned how to cook,” Smith said from his place in the corner of the couch. “Should be here in like five.”

“Fuck off. I know how to cook,” Jonas defended.

Weakly, since he absolutely did not know how to cook.

“Top Ramen is not cooking,” Easton put in.

“And Kraft Mac and Cheese is?” Jonas dug in.

I’d heard this argument a thousand times. Next up would be Smith bringing up Jonas’s affinity for Cup O’ Noodles. The guy had a thing for soup; even in the hottest of days in the desert he’d eat—or did you drink soup? Either way he’d consumed more soup than any one man should.

“Cup O’ Noodles doesn’t count either, friend.”

There it was.

The familiarity of family.

I took in the room. My gaze locked with Cash’s and he was smiling.

“Can we please address the elephant in the room so I can enjoy my pizza and beer and not have this shit looming over my head?” Cash asked.

Right.

Fuck, goddamn.

It was time.

“Yeah. I owe you all an explanation and a—”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Cash cut me off.

“An explanation and an apology for taking off.”

“I don’t need an apology,” Smith sneered.

“I don’t need an explanation,” Easton put in.

“I want my fuckin’ brother back,” Jonas started. “If you sitting in my living room means you’re home then welcome the fuck home.”

My eyes went back to Cash and I waited for him to say what he needed to say. My defection hurt him the most. We were all close but I was closest to Cash.

“Dude, I wanted to just let everyone know our relationship has changed and you now call me stepdaddy, but you brought the heavy down. So first I’ll just say, love you son, and second what Jonas said, welcome the fuck home.”

I held my friend’s gaze, vowing to kick his ass the first chance I got.

He read my threat, ignored it, and busted out laughing.

While Cash was laughing himself sick, I caught Kira staring at me. I gave her what she needed and let pretense fall away. For the first time I’d met her I let her see Garrett. Not a co-worker, not the intel specialist, not the operator, not the guilt-ridden man. Just me. The real me. I knew she read me when she dipped her chin.

“Are we good, KK?” I softly asked.

It was her forgiveness I needed the most.

She was the woman who’d lost her family then lost her brother, and no matter what anyone says I might not be at fault, but I did play a part in the shitshow that cost Kira Winters everything.

“We’ve always been good, Garrett,” she told me.

“I said some shit that was uncool,” I reminded her.

“No you didn’t. You told the truth and straight up, Garrett, the truth is messy. Sometimes it’s raw and ugly. But if you can’t be honest with your family then who can you be?”

That was a good fucking question.

“Welcome back to the team, One,” Kira muttered, and gave her attention to the television.

“Are we gonna talk about why Garrett’s calling Cash stepdaddy or are we gonna pretend that didn’t happen?” Easton snickered.

We were never going to discuss that but I didn’t get a chance to say it because Jonas piped up. “What I want to know is with One back on station does that mean him and Two are going to have to duel for TL? Or are we voting?”

“What I want to know is, who in the fuck told Jonas it was a good idea to grow a beard?” I threw in my question. “And is that Just for Men you’re using to keep the grey out or is that a salon job?”

“Fuck off,” Jonas muttered and flipped me off.

I took a swig of my beer as there was a knock on the door.

“Pizza’s here,” Cash announced and jumped up like he hadn’t scarfed down five donuts an hour ago.

I didn’t think anything about his cagey ass smile as he went for the door.

That was my first mistake.

My second was when the pizza box was dropped on the coffee table and pushed to the edge closest to me.

“You get first slice,” he said and opened the box.

My jaw clenched in an effort not to laugh my ass off.

“We figured since it’s been like a hundred years since you’ve…” Cash trailed off. “KK cover your ears.”

“Do I look like a prude?” she shot back.

“No, you look like a lady even though you act like a dude which confuses me,” Cash returned. “I never know what words I can use in front of you. Like if I should use textbook medical terms for body parts or…”

“Medical terms?” Smith snickered.

“You know, like vagina.”

“Please don’t ever say vagina in front of me again.”

“You prefer flower or petal?”

“I would actually prefer if someone finally superglued your lips together to stop you from speaking, period, but for some reason the rest of these assholes think you’re funny.”

“You mean anuses,” Cash corrected.

I couldn’t help it, I was staring down at a pizza box that did not contain a pizza but instead what looked to be at least a hundred gold, silver, and bronze condom wrappers. The inside lid said “wrap it before you tap it” in black marker. My brothers and sister were sitting around cracking ridiculous jokes.

So even though my woman was home delivering devastating news to her beloved nephew I knew I’d crawl into bed with her late and help her sort her day.

I busted out laughing.

I felt free. And the longer I laughed, the more that tightness in my chest that had been there so long I’d forgotten what it felt like to breathe without it, loosened.

A condom packet came sailing my way and hit me in the chest.

“Welcome to Silver Team.” Easton chuckled.

I snatched the silver condom off my lap. But before I could toss it back into the box Kira chimed in.

“Silver, good choice. Maybe you can try coming second for a change.”

The room went utterly silent.

A beat later five men and one woman filled that room with laughter.

I was home.