Chapter 14

14

I droppedmy chin to my chest and leaned heavily into Garrett. He tightened his arm around my shoulders.

Special Agent Derrick Jenkins had just finished telling us that evidence was suggesting there was foul play in my sister’s death. I was somewhere between wanting to scream “No shit, Sherlock” and crying in relief that someone finally believed my sister didn’t have an accident.

But that was not why I’d leaned into Garrett. It was the look of devastation on my mother’s face I couldn’t take. I’d watched the pain shaft through her, watched it glide over my father, and I couldn’t hack it.

This would set my mother back. She’d always been overly sensitive. My brother’s behavior made it worse. But after he’d moved away, she’d started to get stronger. Then Analise died and she slid right back to quiet and withdrawn. My father had been able to coax her back to life but now with all of this coming up again, and the custody battle, and two little children to take care of, I was afraid it was going to be too much for her and too much for my dad.

I was not in a financial place where I could take care of two children on my own even if I wasn’t helping with attorney fees. I made okay money, but I lived in a one-bedroom apartment not because I wanted to but because I couldn’t afford to rent or buy a house.

The fear of moving back in with my parents was becoming a real possibility.

“Baby?” Garrett gently murmured. “Derrick asked you a question.”

Shit.

I moved to sit up straight but Garrett’s fingers pressed into my shoulder, keeping me in place. It might’ve made me weak, but I didn’t have it in me to fight. I also needed him so while he was offering his support, I was going to take it.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat your question?”

“Of course.” The agent’s tone was professional yet gentle and I wondered if this was how he was with victims’ families or if this was Garrett’s doing. “Did you ever see Randal Henderson at your sister’s house?”

“No.”

“Did your sister ever talk to you about Randal?”

“No.”

There was a lull in his questioning and I used the opportunity to glance over at my parents sitting in the love seat. My father had brought in two chairs from the dining room for the FBI agents to sit in and Cash was in the recliner. I shifted my gaze to him. He hadn’t moved since he’d sat down—by the look of it, not a muscle. The only way I could think to describe him was on high alert. His eyes were on Derrick—sharp and assessing. As if he could feel me staring at him his eyes snapped to mine. I knew I was right when he went from piercing to gentle.

I hadn’t spoken to or seen Garrett in five long, lonely days which meant I hadn’t seen Cash either. I’d spent many hours wondering where Garrett was and what he’d been doing. But now I was wondering what Cash had been up to. Was he still looking into Slater? Was Garrett? Had they learned anything? Was that why the FBI suddenly had an interest in Analise’s death?

“Why now?” I asked one of the agents but kept my eyes on Cash.

“I don’t understand,” Derrick said.

“My sister’s been dead over a year. I’ve been to the police dozens of times begging them for help, but the case is closed so they refused to listen to me. So, why are you here now asking about Ran?”

I watched Cash dip his chin ever so slightly.

Was that encouragement to push for answers? Was it a friendly gesture because he knew this was hard for me and my family? Or was I crazy and the guy hadn’t moved?

“What about Steve Metzbower?” Ross, the other agent, asked me.

“I’m sorry, I’m not done talking about Ran and why it’s been over a year and now you’re here. What’s happened? And how does Slater fit into this?”

Cash nodded and this time I knew I wasn’t seeing things. Further, I knew I was on the right path when Garrett gave my shoulder a squeeze.

My parents were noticeably quiet, as was their way, especially when there was conflict. As unkind as it was to think, I wished just once it wasn’t me fighting for answers, that just once my father would stand up so I could be the quiet one.

“I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation,” Derrick rejoined.

I felt my temper bubble.

So did Garrett.

“Mellie,” he rumbled.

“That’s bullshit,” I spat.

I heard my mother gasp and my father’s gentle rebuke.

They had a no-cussing rule in their house. One that I followed to a T since my brother had a foul mouth and during one of his outbursts, he could cuss the house down. Analise could have a potty mouth, too. Which meant like always I was the good girl, the rule follower, the child who wouldn’t rock the boat and I never cursed in front of my parents.

Now was not one of those times.

“I can’t speak to the reason we’re here now except to say we’d hoped we wouldn’t have to burden you and your family. Unfortunately, we need help making some connections, making it impossible not to bother you and your family. You were close to your sister. You spent a lot of time at her house.”

“I did,” I confirmed, then looked at Ross. “As I’m sure you’re aware, Steve and Slater are very good friends. He was at my sister’s house a lot. Probably more than I was, especially right before my sister died.”

“Have you ever been to Randal Henderson’s farm?”

Oh, shit.

Garrett went solid next to me, which meant we were like two stones leaning against one another.

Shit.

My gaze darted to Cash’s, wordlessly begging for him to help me.

Thankfully, he did.

“I take it you’re aware of Ran’s weekly poker games on his property in one of his barns?”

I sagged in relief. However, Garrett remained granite-like next to me.

I was going to be in so much trouble.

“We are aware,” Ross begrudgingly shared.

“So you also know Slater Boone and Steve Metzbower frequent these games. Sometimes separately but also together. And Ran attends every game,” Cash went on.

“Yes, we’re aware.”

“Right, so this would go a lot faster if instead of fishing you tell us why you’re here. And I’ll remind you, not even fifteen minutes ago you made it known you know who we are and who we work for. Which means you know we have the means to get information a hell of a lot faster than you do.” Cash paused and looked at my mother. “Excuse my language, ma’am.”

“Now might be a good stopping point,” Derrick suggested.

“Good idea,” Garrett surprisingly agreed.

“But—”

“Trust me, baby.”

God, he was killing me with the ‘babys’ again.

“Fine,” I snapped.

“Are my grandchildren in danger?”

This very valid question surprisingly came from my mother. She also delivered it in a voice that did not tremble like it normally did when she was nervous.

“Mrs. Rivers, I cannot speak to that,” Derrick replied.

“What can you speak to?” my father spoke up. “My grandchildren are supposed to go back to their father’s house tomorrow.”

Whoa. I’d never heard my father take that kind of tone with anyone. I knew Garrett caught it, too, when I felt his arm around my shoulders jerk.

“Unfortunately, we cannot advise you on family matters. Randal Henderson is a person of interest in a number of felonious activities. To that end we are diligently working on collecting evidence and making an arrest.”

I watched my father—his attention on Derrick, his posture stiff—and I vaguely wondered where this sudden bout of bravado was coming from.

“That’s not good enough,” my mom rejoined and I pushed away from Garrett to sit upright. “I’d like to understand Slater’s involvement in this.”

My head snapped to the side to look at Garrett, and since he was already looking at me, our gazes collided. His shock matched mine. He’d known my parents a long time, so he knew this was highly unusual—as in unfathomable. Even after counseling, they’d respected my boundaries and had stopped relying on me to protect them from Buck and had kicked in a great deal supporting Analise through her issues. But they had never, not once, not even in court spoken like this.

“Slater Boone is under investigation,” Derrick calmly answered.

“What for?” my dad pushed.

“I can’t say.”

Before my father could argue more, Garrett stood pulling me up with him and announced, “Thank you for coming by.” Effectively ending the conversation. “Next time I expect you’ll call first.”

My mom and dad looked confused. Derrick and Ross looked harassed. But Cash looked almost amused. It took less time for goodbyes to be exchanged than it had for the introductions to be made and before I knew it the agents were walking out the door.

“Be right back,” Garrett said with a brush of his lips to my temple.

Cash and Garrett followed the agents out the door, leaving me standing in the living room with my parents.

“What was that?” I asked.

My mother ignored my question and asked her own. “Will Garrett and his friend be staying for dinner?”

“I don’t know, probably not.”

She semi-ignored me and went on with a wave of her hand. “I’ll ask when they get back in. Garrett always loved my roast.”

That was true. It was Analise and Garrett’s favorite.

“Are we not going to discuss what just happened?”

“Katie, sweetheart, would you mind checking on the kids while I have a word with Mellie?”

Something strange washed over me. My father had never asked to have a “word” with me. Analise, yes, hundreds of times when she was behaving erratically. Having a word to him meant he was going to ask very meekly for her to stop breaking curfew, or to stop borrowing his car without permission, or to stop coming home drunk. He’d never tried having a word with Buck because my brother was a supreme dickhead and would tell my father to go fuck himself if he tried. And he’d never had to have a word with me because I’d never done anything to warrant it.

“Certainly.”

My mother was halfway to the stairs when she paused and gave me a look I’d never seen before.

“I would very much like Garrett at my table tonight, Melissa. Please see that it happens.”

Did my mother just insist Garrett be at her table and demand I make that so?

Who was this woman?

“I’ll see what I can do, Mom. But Dave was just released from the rehab center this afternoon, so he probably has plans with his parents.”

“I’ll call Marion, explain the situation,” she went on.

Did I somehow go back in time when I was of an age where my mother called Garrett’s mother to ask if he could come over?

I didn’t get a chance to remind her I was coming up on forty and I did not welcome my mother calling anyone on my behalf.

“Melissa,” my dad called.

I stopped watching my mother climb the stairs and turned back to my dad.

As soon as I did, he didn’t delay.

“Your mother and I have spoken.”

I assumed they spoke all the time, but I kept the comment to myself and instead prompted, “And?”

“We think it’s time you left Blackhawk.”

My father’s comment was so bizarre, so out-of-left field my torso swung back.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“We’ve heard things,” he continued, not making sense. “Garrett’s life is in Maryland. His parents are here, but that boy was never meant to stay in small-town Montana.”

“What does Garrett have to do with me?”

It was now my father’s turn to give me a look I’d never seen. His face set to serious, his brows pulled together, his lips in a thin line. Maybe if he’d given my sister this look during one of their many talks instead of his normal passive expression, she would’ve known he meant business.

God, that was horrible to think.

“This time when Garrett leaves,” he started. “You go.”

What in the hell was my father talking about?

“Dad, I think you have the wrong idea.”

“I’ve been wrong for forty-five years,” he all but spat.

Who were these people? My father didn’t spit words. My mother didn’t make demands. They didn’t speak up or give harsh looks.

I was nowhere near figuring out what was going on when my father’s angry, clipped voice came at me.

“When your mom and I got married I promised her I would never raise my voice to her or any children we had. Your granddad was a hard man; he yelled at your mother and her sisters. He yelled at your grandmom. He made his home a frightening place.”

I knew that. My mom was not close to her parents but once every few years we’d still go to Colorado to visit my grandparents. That was, until Buck dialed up the asshole and my granddad (rightly) lit into his ass. Then we never went back. I couldn’t say I missed going to visit them since like my dad said, Granddad was a hard man, but I did grow resentful toward my brother for ruining something else for our family.

“Okay, Dad, but I don’t understand.”

“I should never have made that promise. I thought I was breaking the cycle. I thought if I took a different approach than my father and your mother’s father that my children would grow up in a loving, peaceful home. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I promised your mother. I failed.”

Oh no!I hated hearing my dad say that.

“Dad—”

“Listen to me, Melissa!” Never hearing my father raise his voice above a normal speaking tone, I snapped my mouth closed. “We were selfish, your mother and me. I didn’t have the first clue how to deal with your asshole brother.”

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

“He made all of our lives hell. He was so much like your granddad he sent your mother into a panic every time he had one of his episodes. Your sister acted out because I didn’t provide her a safe home. Like you, she needed me to protect her from Buck. She needed stability and structure and attention. When she didn’t get that from me, she went looking elsewhere. I love your sister with everything I have but that girl did not have your grit and strength. You have taken the brunt of everything that has happened to our family. That should’ve never happened. It did. And it ends now. You will no longer help your mother and me. We’ve discussed it and cashed in some investments. On Monday you’ll get a check to reimburse you for the attorney’s fees you’ve paid. And from here on out, this is our fight.”

I loved some of what he said but seriously hated the rest.

“What happened to Analise is not your fault,” I reassured him.

“I am her father and I did not protect her the way I should have. I know that I’m dealing with it, as is your mother, and you cannot protect me from my shortcomings. That is not your job as my daughter. My job is to protect you, love you, guide you, teach you. I’m about thirty years too late but I’m doing that now. You’ll cash your check on Monday and start living your life for you. Not worrying about us.”

Okay, all of that sounded good. Except... “You did love me and teach me and guide me. I’m happy to see you coming to some realizations, but Dad, you were a good father.”

“I should’ve been a great father. I should’ve been a man you could count on to protect you. I wasn’t. Garrett was that person for you, and he still is. That boy would’ve walked on broken glass if it meant you didn’t have to. I’m happy to see he’s still that man.”

My father wasn’t wrong about that.

But still…

“I think you have the wrong idea about what’s going on.”

“I don’t. And when he leaves, you’re going with him.”

I was taken aback by the finality in my dad’s tone.

So I tried a different tactic.

“What about Christian and Gracie?”

“There are planes and phones, and that video messaging thing you use.”

Was he crazy?

“That’s not the same and you know it. I want to be involved in their lives. When the time comes, I want to give them as much of my sister as I can.”

It killed me to think that neither of my sister’s children would remember her. Christian would likely have some vague memories, but he was five when his mother died. He’d never remember the thousands of everyday things she did with him. And Gracie was a baby. She wouldn’t have a single memory of her momma. Nothing.

“I failed my daughter. I will not fail her children,” he proclaimed.

“I didn’t mean…”

I trailed off when the front door opened.

Garrett came in but there was no Cash.

“Everything handled, son?” my dad inquired.

Garrett glanced at me then back to my dad. He took a moment, likely taking in this new, never seen version of Jeremy Rivers. Then he shockingly and surprisingly laid it out for my dad.

“After Melissa expressed her concerns regarding Analise’s death and Slater’s possible involvement I had my team take a look at the reports. We immediately found some red flags and went deeper. Cash came out to Montana to help since my attention was spread thin with my father’s recuperation.” Garrett’s attention slid to me, and he frowned. “The why now, is because Ran’s farm is under twenty-four-seven surveillance, and they caught you out there peeking in a window. They also have you on video taking pictures.”

Oh shit.

Busted.

Suddenly, I wished the FBI was still there so they could take me into custody for trespassing.

“Well…” I started but trailed off when I had no good excuse.

“Baby, I told you to standdown. I told you we were looking into it. You promised you’d let me handle it.”

“What’s this? You did what now?” my father barked.

I squared off against two angry men, not knowing how to handle this new situation with my dad. So I did what any woman would do when faced with a situation where she was in the wrong but wasn’t ready to admit it.

I put my hands on my hips, narrowed my eyes, and defended myself, albeit weakly.

“I hadn’t heard from you in days. How was I supposed to know you were still looking into things?”

Garrett’s eye twitched—a sure sign he was controlling his temper purely for my father’s benefit.

However, it was my father who galloped in like a dark horse and lost his mind.

“Are you insane?” he bellowed.

I jerked.

Garrett’s shoulders snapped back.

My dad was enraged.

“I lost one daughter to that man and you’re poking around a dangerous criminal’s property.”

It wasn’t a question, so I wisely kept my mouth closed. I also felt tears prick my eyes.

“No more, Melissa Katherine. You hear me? No more!”

I found myself feeling strange as I replied, “Yes, Dad.”

Garrett looked from me to my dad, and I swear I saw respect in his gaze, which I’d never seen before. That wasn’t to say Garrett hadn’t always acted respectful and courteous to my father; he had. But that was more to do with Dave and his upbringing. I knew Garrett never respected my father as a man.

I had a bad feeling about this.

“Cash has evidence that Slater leaves the children unattended in the middle of the night,” Garrett informed us. “He leaves them alone when he goes out to Ran’s farm to gamble.”

I didn’t see Slater the night I went out there, but it had been early in the evening.

What a piece of shit.

“That’s what I’ve been doing the last few nights,” Garrett told me. “Sitting outside Slater’s house keeping an eye on the kids while Cash has been reconning the farm. Though Cash didn’t tell me he saw you out there.”

I wanted to kiss Cash.

“Why didn’t you call the police?” my dad cut in.

“Slater owes a lot of money to some very dangerous men. We call the police, he gets charged with child endangerment. I don’t know what the penalty for that is but my guess, not enough to keep those kids safe in the long run. We watch, we get something on all of them, the kids are safe.”

That made sense. And I seriously loved that Garrett would think of that as well as sit outside of a house to watch my niece and nephew. But I didn’t fully understand how that was possible.

“If you’re outside, how can you see the kids?”

“Got cameras inside. I can watch and listen from anywhere, but when they’re alone, I do it from a place where I can get inside that house if they need me.”

I didn’t know what to make of that.

Then I did and my heart swelled to bursting. My chest throbbed with the pounding of my heart. How could Garrett think for one second that I would believe he’d turned into some kind of monster? That he could ever convince me he’d turned into a man I wouldn’t be proud to know?

“Is that legal?” my dad asked.

“Absolutely not.”

I waited for my father to respond but he said nothing.

That was interesting, too. Garrett admitted to breaking the law, which my father was vehemently against—as in so against it he didn’t even drive over the speed limit—and he had no response to Garrett engaging in illegal activities.

I was living in an alternate universe. That was the only answer that made any sense.

I continued to live there when my mother walked down the stairs with Gracie on her hip, Christian bounding down in front of her.

“Good, you’re still here,” she greeted Garrett. “Won’t you stay for dinner?”

I closed my eyes and prayed for an alien spaceship to fly over the house and beam me up, taking me to a faraway planet where I could live out my days in peace.

There was a stretch of silence, which lasted long enough for me to open my eyes to figure out why Garrett hadn’t answered my mom—hopefully in the negative, giving the excuse he had to get back to his father. Which was probably the truth.

But what I found stole my breath and broke my heart. Garrett’s focus was on Christian. Little boy limbs loose, his arms swinging as he skipped down the stairs.

I got my father’s coloring, including his dark hair and hazel eyes. Buck and Analise looked more like my mother with light hair and dark brown eyes. Gracie was the perfect mix of Slater and Analise. But Christian looked like me. Exactly like me. So much so when I was out with my sister and nephew, people would mistake him as my son.

So I knew exactly why Garrett was transfixed. The same reason Marion was every time she saw me with Christian.

“Garrett?” I called.

He blinked and slowly turned to face me.

Oh, yeah, there was pain in his eyes, and not a little bit but a whole lot. He was thinking what I had thought years ago when it became obvious Christian looked more like me than his mother and father—if Garrett and I had ever had a son, he’d look like my nephew.

“He…”

“Looks like me,” I supplied when Garrett didn’t finish.

“Who’s this?” Christian jumped down the last two steps and asked.

“This is my friend, Garrett,” I told him. “How was your nap?”

Christian scrunched his nose and gave me his best attempt at a scowl, which meant he looked freaking adorable when he declared, “I’m six.”

“You are,” I readily agreed.

“Six-year-olds don’t take naps. We rest.”

“Right. Sorry. How was your rest?”

“It was boring.”

Only a kid would think rest was boring. I on the other hand could use a year-long rest after the emotional roller coaster of the day.

My mom made it to my side and passed a wiggling Gracie to me.

“There’s my love bug,” I cooed and shoved my face in the cubby rolls of her neck. After I blew a raspberry and inhaled her baby scent I pulled back just in time for Gracie to giggle and slap me in the face.

“No hitting,” my mom gently admonished while kissing Gracie’s hand. “We love Aunty Mellie. Garrett, son, you’ll be staying for dinner, won’t you?”

I glanced across the room, prepared to give Garrett an out. But my excuse died when I caught Garrett staring at me. He looked like he was either going to pass out or throw up.

“Give her to me, Mellie,” My mom said when she saw it, too. She already had her hands extended, ready to take Gracie back. I passed her back my niece, skirted my nephew, and made my way to Garrett.

“Give us a second, Dad.”

When I stopped in front of Garrett his features blanked. Totally. Worse than when he’d done it in my apartment when he came over to tell me to stand down. Actually, upon further inspection his eyes weren’t blank, they were dead. Totally cold and lifeless.

Not wanting to have this conversation in front of my parents, I wordlessly grabbed his hand and led him into my father’s study. I closed the door and meant to let go of his hand, but Garrett had other plans which included using our connection to yank me to his chest. The moment we collided, his face was in my neck, and I felt his big body buck.

“Fuck,” he rasped. “Fucking shit.”

“Garrett,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

“That…fuck.”

Then I felt it. Wetness.

“Honey.”

“If I hadn’t of been a dumb fuck,” he choked out. “That boy.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I did the only thing I could do. I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight.

“Fuck, Mellie.”

I understood his pain. I understood because I’d lived it every time I saw my nephew. If I didn’t love that kid so much, I’d avoid him, that’s how badly it hurt looking into a pair of eyes that looked so much like mine all I could think about was that I wished I’d given them to my son. Analise understood my pain, and to take away the sting, she’d tell me I owed her a son, that when I got around to having children, she wanted one to look like her. She’d made light of it, but she knew when I looked at her son I always wondered if that’s what my boy with Garrett would’ve looked like.

“I knew I fucked up. Down to my soul I knew giving you up was wrong. But Christ, Melissa, that boy out there…he could be ours. We should…”

Garrett abruptly stopped and sucked in a breath that I both heard and felt but there was no exhale. I waited and when none came, I whispered, “Honey, breathe.”

His exhale was slow, like it was taking all of his energy to clear his lungs. He gave me a squeeze I assumed meant he wanted me to let him go and I thought that was smart. Since our middle of the night chat my mind had been playing tricks on me. The next morning when I woke up alone, I thought maybe he needed a few hours to clear his mind, but he’d be back, and we’d talk some more. As the day had worn on, I’d allowed myself to get excited about the possibility of seeing him again. But he didn’t come over. He didn’t call or text and it was obvious he was no longer visiting his dad while I was at work.

Which meant he was avoiding me.

He’d come over to my parents at my request to help me out of a situation that ended up not being a situation at all. Now I was back in his arms, and I was thinking this was not a good place for me to be. It wasn’t safe or healthy and the pieces of my shattered heart were getting pulverized into dust.

This had to end.

I loved him too much.

It was too painful.

“Don’t worry about my parents,” I began. “I’ll tell them you need to get back to your dad.”

Garrett pulled back and looked down with red-rimmed eyes.

“Why would you tell them that?”

“So you can leave without my mother hassling you about dinner.”

“I’m staying for dinner.”

In an effort not to bust out into tears of frustration I glanced around my father’s study. The room Garrett and I used to do our homework in. The room we’d played cards in. The very room where he gave me my first kiss.

I did this thinking for the first time in my life I wished I’d never met Garrett Davis. How different my life would be if at the tender age of twelve I didn’t learn what love was. If he’d never shown me what it was like to be loved so wholly and completely, I would’ve been able to settle for half-measures. I wouldn’t know what it felt like to lose half of yourself.

“We have to stop this, Garrett.”

“Stop what?”

“This. The other night. The night before that.”

“The other night?”

My anger flared so quickly it came as a shock. But fuck him for pretending the other night didn’t happen.

Before I could tell him such, his lips twitched, which only enraged me more.

“Are you talking about the night I had no choice but to physically restrain you?” he asked. “Because as much as it fucked with my head, the first time I was inside of you again after seventeen years was for an angry fuck against the wall. There’s no denying that it was hot as fuck so that’s gonna happen again.”

I opened my mouth to argue but I didn’t get a chance before he delivered his kill shot.

“Or are you talking about the night I laid it out for you, all of it, and after hearing the worst you told me you forgave me. You told me to stop running and let my team heal me. Baby, it’s not my team I’m running from and it’s not them who can heal me.”

I was still in the midst of processing what he said and debating if I’d heard him correctly, deciding to completely ignore the sex-against-the-wall comment since he wasn’t wrong—it was hot. Not that I thought it should ever happen again, but if it did maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I hadn’t yet finished scolding myself for being a stupid twit for entertaining the possibility of having sex with him again when Garrett very softly murmured the words I’d wished a million times I’d hear him say again.

“I love you, Mellie. Not a day has gone by since the day I met you that I haven’t loved you. I will leave this earth loving you. So tonight, we’re eating dinner with your parents and after that we’re going back to your place and we’re talking this out. And since I don’t have a car here, I’m driving yours. One near-death experience is enough for today.”

I was ignoring everything he said since it scared the pants off me. Scared me in a way that made my belly twist and made me want to run out to my car and flee Montana.

“I’m not a bad driver, Garrett.”

“Baby, it’s a tossup who’s the worse driver—you or Cash. I think both of you should have your licenses revoked to protect the unsuspecting moms in minivans driving their children around. And just to say, when we get around to having children, I will personally inform the PTA you are not to ever be a part of a carpool.”

Did he just say that?

My heart did a flip-flop.

My fear spiked and I took the highway known as Stick Your Head in the Sand straight to Denial Land where I planned on living for the next thirty years.

“I don’t think the PTA is in charge of carpools,” I informed him.

“Good you know that, baby.”

Ugh.

We had to get out of my dad’s study.

I had to get away from Garrett so I could have a panic attack in private.

Then I could have a rational conversation with him which would include how uncool it was to say crazy shit to me that he did not mean.