Chapter Three

Chris felt like he was letting down the men in his life. There were two right now that he didn't know how to deal with, so he'd just been waiting to see what would happen. It didn't feel like enough. He wanted results, and while he could continue waiting and see what happened, maybe it was time to be more proactive.

He stared at his phone further down the kitchen table as he finished his breakfast. Ronnie had been happy for him when he told him he'd met his mate, but he hadn't made any promises about coming, not even to visit. Chris had been so sure he would that it had hit him hard. He'd isolated himself for a few days, licking his wounds and trying to come up with another excuse to get Ronnie to move. That meant he'd been neglecting his friends, but also Gary.

That wasn't fair to Gary. Gary had agreed to give Chris the time he needed, and Chris was grateful, but he also felt like a child throwing a temper tantrum. He needed to stop being an idiot, accept the truth, and move on.

He couldn't force Ronnie to do anything. As much as he wanted his best friend to join him at the village, Ronnie was the only one who could make the kind of decision that was needed for that to happen. Chris had asked him to come. He'd told him he'd be welcome and that he'd be safe, and he'd promised that no one would have anything against him becoming a clan member. He'd even gone as far as talking to Clay to be sure, and Clay had seemed happy at the thought of having more clan members.

That was all Chris could do. Ronnie would have to take the next step, and while Chris would support him, this was where his role ended when it came to his best friend. It hurt to accept it, but he had to.

There was nothing he could do about Ronnie, but there was something he could do about Gary. Gary had kept his distance because he was keeping his promise of giving Chris time, but Chris had enough of that and of his own behavior. If he wanted things to change, he needed to initiate those changes. He felt he was finally ready to do so. Hopefully Gary would forgive him for making a mess of this situation. Chris didn't know if he wanted to be with Gary yet, but the way Gary treated him made him at least want to try.

He'd said he wanted to get to know Gary, and he still did. That wouldn't happen if they didn't talk.

After breakfast, Chris quickly cleaned up the kitchen. He wasn't training this morning, so he'd slept in and had a lazy morning, and he felt he had more energy than he'd had in a long time. He was almost bouncing on his feet as he left his house. He had plans, and he couldn't wait.

He knew where Gary lived because Boyd had told him. As he walked there, he wondered if Gary had talked to Alexis about him. Gary had only recently arrived at the village, and while he had the friends he'd arrived with, they didn't know Chris. Alexis did, albeit not well. The meshing of different groups and people together to make up a new clan took a lot of effort and could sometimes be odd, but it was working. Eventually the clan would start to become more cohesive, and Chris couldn't wait to see what that would be like.

Even before becoming a hunter, he hadn't had a lot of people. His parents were better not thought of, and while he'd had Ronnie, that was pretty much it. Ronnie had been the one who had a lot of friends and people around him, but not Chris. Chris had been fine staying in Ronnie's shadow and having only his best friend.

It had been a hard choice to leave him behind. After the attack, Ronnie had done his best to go back to a normal life, but he'd failed. When Chris had seen that, he'd decided that he needed to help, but he hadn't known how. He'd stumbled on the hunters by accident by talking too much while he was drunk in a bar one night, and the rest was history. He'd left Ronnie behind to show him that he could defend him and make the world a better place, but he wasn't sure he'd succeeded. Ronnie was still stuck in his apartment, afraid of the world, not really living. Chris hated to think of him like that, but he'd done everything he could. Ronnie needed to take the next steps.

Chris hoped he would.

He stopped walking when he reached what he hoped was Gary's house. It was smaller than his, and the yard was in a much better shape. He wasn't surprised. He could easily imagine Gary tending to the yard, and he knew something about Vila's healing abilities. They weren't like Nix, so they used herbs and what nature gave them, but it worked damn well.

Before knocking on the door, Chris took out his phone. He pulled up Ronnie's number, quickly typed in a message, and sent it. He didn't write anything new. He just reassured Ronnie that he'd be there for him, whatever happened, and he hoped Ronnie would find a way to at least visit the village. Chris wouldn't bother him about it anymore. Ronnie knew what he wanted. There was no reason to push him into something he didn't.

When that was done, there was nothing to waste time on anymore. Chris stared at the little house again, cocking his head. It needed renovations, like his, but being here made him wonder if it was worth it to continue renovating his house. He and Gary were mates. That meant that eventually they would move in together, right? Where would they move? Which house would they choose?

Luckily, that wasn't a question Chris needed to answer now. He quickly knocked, then stepped back to wait for Gary to arrive. When he did, his cheeks were red, as if he'd been in the sun. He looked gorgeous and healthy, and for a moment, Chris could only stare at him.

"Chris. I wasn't expecting you," Gary said as he smoothed down his t-shirt.

It was dirty at the seam. There was also a trace of dirt on Gary's cheek that Chris wanted to clean or maybe kiss.

Chris didn't know what was happening to him. He'd told himself he needed time and space from Gary so he could make his decision about their relationship without influences, but maybe that wasn't how things worked. Maybe he was supposed to be influenced by his mate.

Chris didn't know much about the mating bond, just what most humans knew, so everything was new to him. He could probably ask Gary or even Boyd, but he felt this was something he needed to make sense of on his own.

He smiled at Gary. "I have the morning free, so I thought we could spend it together."

Gary stepped aside to let him in. "Of course. I'm sure you have many questions, and I'm ready to answer all of them."

Gary was trying to make himself useful, but that wasn't what Chris wanted. As he followed him into a small living room, he wondered what he could do to help his mate relax.

Beyond being honest with him, he wasn't sure. Would Gary even believe him if he told him he was here to give them a chance? It was clear he expected to be rejected. Chris wondered if a part of Gary thought that Chris would decide he wasn't worth it eventually, and that was why he was so willing to give him time to think things over.

Chris wouldn't reject his mate. He turned to Gary suddenly as they stopped by the couch. Gary's eyes widened when Chris cupped his cheek like he had over dinner the other day. Chris didn't give himself the chance to overthink what he was about to do and leaned forward to press their lips together as he wrapped an arm around Gary's waist.

Gary jerked back, probably not having expected that. Chris felt them fall, but there was nothing he could do. With his arm around Gary, they were linked together, so they went together. Chris tried to turn them around, but there wasn't enough space, and falling took only a second or two.

They landed on the couch, thankfully. He heard the breath whoosh out of Gary's lungs and tried to pull away, panicking at the thought he'd ruined everything. What had he been thinking, kissing Gary without asking him for permission first? He could have hurt both of them, and he wouldn't be surprised if Gary told him to fuck off.

But Gary didn't. He didn't even let Chris get to his feet. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Chris's neck, locking both of them into place.

* * * *

Gary didn't want this to stop. He hadn't expected Chris to kiss him, which was the only excuse he had for having moved back and toppled both of them down.

Luckily, the couch was there. If they'd been anywhere else in the house, it would have hurt, but Gary had landed on a soft surface, and Chris was on top of him.

Gary was in heaven.

He hadn't known what to expect when he'd opened his door to find Chris standing there, and he still didn't. He wanted to ask Chris why he was here, why he'd kissed him, and what he'd do next, but at the same time, he was afraid that asking so many questions would send Chris running.

It probably wouldn't—Chris was here for a reason, and he'd been the one to initiate the kiss. That had to mean something, and Gary kept that in mind as he locked Chris into place with his arms.

Chris chuckled. "Sorry about that. I should have asked before kissing you."

Gary shook his head. "It's fine. You don't have to ask to kiss me because my answer will always be yes."

Chris pressed his elbows into the couch so his weight wouldn't all be on Gary. Gary couldn't say he minded either way as long as Chris wasn't going anywhere.

"I came here to talk, but I'm not sure where to start," Chris said.

"Maybe we don't need to talk right away."

Chris stared for a moment, and Gary expected him to reject his offer. Chris had said he was here to talk, and even though he'd kissed Gary, he might not want to repeat the experience. Gary was ready to apologize, but Chris leaned forward and kissed him again, and Gary decided that he probably didn't need to.

Gary tightened his hold on Chris and kissed him back. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done this, especially with someone he cared about. He hadn't been entirely celibate since he'd lost his clan, but he'd had other things to focus on, and for a long time, he hadn't thought he deserved anything like this, not even with someone who wasn't his mate. He still wasn't sure he did, but he wouldn't waste this opportunity. He had no idea if it meant that Chris accepted him or if he was just kissing him goodbye, but Gary wanted to enjoy the moment.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed on the couch, lazily making out as if they had all the time in the world. It felt oddly familiar, even though Gary was sure he'd never done this with anyone. Usually, when he was with someone, it was a means to an end. They both wanted pleasure, and the sooner they got it, the better. Kissing for what felt like hours on the couch had never happened, but he liked it, and he hoped he'd get to do it again.

Chris was the only person he wanted to do it with, though. Gary wasn't sure he could ever have anyone else if Chris rejected him. His heart hurt at the thought, but he'd accept Chris's decision if that was what Chris wanted. It wouldn't feel fair, but he wouldn't have a choice.

But it didn't feel like Chris was rejecting Gary. His weight on top of Gary was perfect, and he fit so well between Gary's legs and in his arms. Gary never wanted to let go, and kissing Chris made it easy to forget that there was a world outside of the living room.

Chris's lips were soft, but his kiss was demanding. He kissed like he knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid of demanding it, something Gary was jealous of. He knew what he wanted, but he was terrified at the thought of being honest about it. He could too easily imagine Chris deciding he wasn't worth it and leaving him behind. It might be the guilt talking, but it was a genuine possibility as far as he was concerned.

When Chris pushed away, Gary panicked. He tightened his hold around him, making him chuckle. Thankfully, Chris didn't seem offended. He also didn't stop moving though, and after a moment, Gary had to let him go.

Losing his mate's body on top of his made him feel like something was missing. He was tempted to beg Chris to come back, but he didn't. Instead, he quickly scrambled into a sitting position, settling next to Chris. He was afraid to look at his mate and of what he'd see if he did, but to his surprise, Chris took his hand and linked their fingers together. This didn't feel like a rejection. Gary supposed that anything was possible, but why would Chris come to him, make out with him on this couch, only to reject him?

"I didn't come here to make out," Chris began.

Gary's stomach churned. He shouldn't feel like a teenager with his first crush, dammit. He was old enough to know better. He needed to be more in control and to stop assuming he knew what Chris was doing and what he wanted. He didn't have to freak out every time Chris did or said something he felt was a rejection. So far, none of them were.

Gary swallowed. "Why did you come, then?" He hoped Chris wasn't angry or feeling pressured. Considering Gary was smaller than him, he couldn't force him to do anything. He could manipulate him, but that wasn't the kind of person Gary was. He wanted Chris to be here of his own free will and to want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with Chris.

"I know we talked a lot over dinner, but that was mostly about the village and all of that," Chris said. "I want to know more about your past."

"I'll tell you everything you want to know, but there's not much. I had a happy life with my clan and my family until they were all killed." Gary shivered. "And that's not something I want to talk about."

Chris squeezed Gary's hand. "I won't ask you to talk about it. I can imagine how hard it was, and I have no reason to want you to relive that time. How about I tell you about my family?"

Gary was curious, so he nodded. He wanted to know more about Chris and his people. Chris had mentioned his best friend a few times, and Gary was curious about him.

"I didn't have an easy childhood. I wouldn't say my parents were abusive, but they were neglectful. I was left mostly to myself, and as an only child, I was lonely a lot of the time," Chris said.

He stroked the back of Gary's hand with his thumb. It didn't look like he was doing it on purpose. His gaze was lost as he talked about his past, and Gary wished he'd told his mate about his family now. It was clear Chris didn't want to talk about his, but he was.

"You don't have to tell me," Gary murmured.

"It's fine. Like I said, my parents weren't abusive. I didn't feel I had anyone until I met Ronnie, though. He's been my best friend since we were kids, and after we were attacked, he's the reason I decided to be a hunter. I was lucky. I survived the Kudlak attack without even a scratch, but the Kudlak really focused on Ronnie. He still has scars. He's been hiding in his apartment for a few years, never coming out. He has everything delivered to his doorstep and works from home. It was a slow decline, but he's a recluse."

"He's terrified."

Chris nodded. "I don't blame him. After what he's been through, I'd be surprised if he wasn't. I became a hunter because I wanted to show him that I could protect him, and that's still my goal. I never expected to find a family through the hunters. I want Ronnie to move here and be part of it, but I came to realize that even if he doesn't, I won't be alone. I have Boyd and Kendrick, Clay and the other hunters." Chris looked straight into Gary's eyes. "And I have you."

* * * *

This wasn't what Chris had been planning to do. He definitely hadn't planned to kiss Gary, but thankfully, that part had gone well. Chris had wanted to continue kissing his mate for the rest of the day, but he'd remembered why he was there.

Gary was his mate, and he needed to be treated right. Kissing him was fine, but opening up to him and explaining why things might be tough for a while was better.

Chris knew that he had a hard time letting people in. He'd been neglected by the two people who should have made him the center of their universe, and it wasn't something he'd ever forget. He'd been lonely as a child, and while things had gotten better as he grew up, he didn't think he would ever forget it.

But he wasn't alone anymore, and like he'd told Gary, his mate was part of his new family. Chris wasn't saying it just because of the bond they shared. He truly believed it, and he wanted Gary to know.

Gary nodded. "You do have me."

"I freaked out when I found out about being your mate, and I'm sorry about that. There aren't many people in the world you feel have a duty toward you. There are your parents when you're a child, then the person you fall in love with or your mate. I know about the bond and what it means, so I guess I have certain expectations. I expect you not to leave me and to be there for me, but I expected my parents to do the same, and they never did."

"I can't make promises I might not be able to keep, but I can tell you that if it's in my power, I will never leave you."

They both knew they might not have a choice. Chris was a hunter. He regularly went out to fight Kudlaks. He'd seen a lot over the years, and Gary had seen just as much if not more. They knew what they were up against, but it wouldn't be enough for Chris to take a step back, and he didn't know how Gary would take that.

"I want to tell you the same," Chris said. "If I can avoid it, I won't leave you. I might not have any idea what I'm doing as a mate, but I feel this was a good start, and I want to get to know you." Chris grinned. "For example, is your name really Gary?"

Gary blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"It's not that I don't like it, but it doesn't really feel like a name a Vila would have."

"That's because it's a shortened version of my full name, Garretson."

That was a bit of a mouthful. "I see. Is your father's name Garrett, then?"

Gary grinned. "It was, yes. My mother insisted on naming me, but he was always embarrassed. I think he was relieved when I started going by Gary."

There was sadness lurking in Gary's eyes, but it didn't seem like it would be enough to stop him. He might not want to share what had happened to his family and clan, but he had good memories of those people. He needed to cherish them.

It was a fine line to walk. Chris cherished the memories he had with Ronnie, but he couldn't cling to them because they were in the past. They could make new memories, but not with the distance between them. Chris couldn't go to Ronnie, which meant Ronnie would have to come to him.

Chris wasn't sure he ever would.

He cleared his throat. "My name is Chris, and it's not the shortened version of anything. Ronnie calls me Christopher when he's yelling at me, but it's not my name."

Gary snickered. "I think I'll like him if I ever meet him."

Chris wanted that so much it felt painful. He didn't have to choose between Gary and Ronnie because he already had, in a way. He'd told Ronnie he could never come back and that his place was in the village, and he'd meant it. His place was here, with Gary.

But he'd always miss Ronnie and the closeness they'd shared. If Ronnie ever moved here, Chris would have everything he could ever want from life. Even if his best friend stayed where he was, though, that didn't mean Chris would be alone. People weren't abandoning him. Gary certainly wasn't.

"I didn't expect to have a mate," Chris admitted. "And I'm not sure I'm ready for one. Honestly, even the thought of a serious relationship freaks me out right now. I've never had one beyond my friendships, and I don't know how to behave."

"I think that's something we should decide together. I already told you that I don't expect anything from you, and I wasn't lying. I understand how much of a shock this must have been, and you should take as much time as you need to wrap your mind around what's happening."

Chris wasn't sure he deserved a man like Gary. Gary gave so much more than Chris deserved, especially after the way Chris had treated him. Chris didn't feel he deserved it, but that didn't mean he was about to push Gary away.

"I'm thankful for all of that. No matter how freaked out I am, this feels right."

Gary smiled. "It does?"

"This is the perfect moment for me to meet my mate, isn't it? I'm settling down in the village and with the clan, and between that and everything else, I can see how wrong my life as a hunter was before. It's very different now, and while I'll always be afraid that I'll lose someone I care about, I know that if it happens, it won't be because they chose to leave me behind."

Chris knew this was a fear he developed as a child, and he needed to get over it. Gary wasn't abandoning him. Neither were Boyd and Kendrick or even Ronnie. Chris's parents had left him as soon as he turned eighteen, but that was almost twenty years ago, and it was time to let go of that pain. Chris's parents didn't deserve for him still to be hurt over what they'd done. They were assholes, and Chris didn't need them. His future was bright.

As long as he stopped being an idiot.

"I want to give our bond a chance," he told Gary. "I'm sure I'll mess things up and make mistakes, but I'm just as sure that we can deal with it together. I don't know much about the kind of paranormal being you are, so you'll have to tell me, but if the bond between us works like it does for shifters, then as long as we take things slow, I think I'll be all right."

Gary was visibly more relaxed now, and Chris had a hard time believing it was just because of his words. Gary had clearly been anxious about Chris accepting their bond, and Chris couldn't blame him. He'd run the first time they'd met, right after Gary told him they were mates. It hadn't been the best first impression, but Gary had continued giving Chris opportunities to show him he wouldn't continue running.

Chris wouldn't be like his parents. He wanted to make Gary happy, and that meant being there for him.

"It works a bit like for Nix," Gary explained. "We know from sight, but since we can shift into certain animals, we don't have the brand on our skin after we bond. We give the mating bite, like shifters."

This was news to Chris, and it made him realize he didn't know much about Gary. He knew Gary had lost everyone and his history, but not much about who Gary was, what he was, and what his hopes and dreams were. That was something he needed to fix.

But first, he needed Gary to know something. "I have a lot of questions, but I want you to be sure you want to give this a chance, too."

Gary appeared amused. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"So you don't care that I'm a hunter? You don't care that I've killed countless of them over the years or that I intend to continue doing so?"

"They killed my family. I know that not all Kudlaks are bad, but it's hard to accept. I'm certain that none of the Kudlaks you killed were good people, though, so no. I don't care about that. I only care about you and the future we'll build together."

That was what Chris had wanted to hear.

* * * *

Gary wasn't surprised by anything Chris was telling him. He wasn't a fighter, but after what had happened to his clan, he'd been tempted to hunt Kudlaks and destroy as many of them as he could find.

The problem was that the first Kudlak he'd stumbled onto had almost killed him. Gary hadn't meant to end up in that situation. He'd wanted Kudlaks to die, but he wasn't an idiot. That encounter had burned that into his memory, and while he'd never be a hunter, he understood why someone would want to be one and why it was necessary. Besides, it was what Krsniks had been created to do, and they and Vila had always had a somewhat symbiotic relationship.

They always shared villages and clans. Krsniks went out on hunts, killed Kudlaks, and protected the world. In exchange, the Vila kept the villages where the Krsnik clan lived safe. They took care of the wounded and made sure that the Krsniks could hunt without having to worry about what was happening at home. They taught them magic, and it wasn't unheard of for Krsniks and Vila to have relationships. Sometimes, they were even mates.

Gary understood all of that, and he understood watching people he cared about leaving the clan and possibly never coming back. It had happened too many times, and it might with Chris, too.

But Chris wasn't just a member of Gary's family. He was his mate, and Gary didn't know if he'd survive losing him. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would feel like to have Chris leave home and never return.

He didn't want to think about it right now, and he certainly didn't want to imagine it. He didn't know what would happen between him and Chris, but he could tell that Chris was honest when he said that he wanted to give their bond a chance. Gary wanted the same. He couldn't allow fear to stop him. It wouldn't be fair to Chris or to himself.

But Chris needed to know about what had happened to Gary so he would understand why Gary might freak out every time he went on a hunt. It might not help, but just like Chris had told Gary about his past and what had happened with Ronnie, it was something they had to share.

"I want to tell you what happened to my clan," Gary said.

"You don't have to. I want to know because it happened to you, but it's not necessary to tell me now, or ever if you never feel up to it."

Gary smiled. "And that's why I want to tell you."

"If you do, I'll listen."

Gary closed his eyes because it would be easier. "Like always, the Krsniks all had a hunt to go on. At that time, we were in the middle of a war with other clans, so they headed out every day. They were tired, and we all knew something was going to break eventually. We kept losing people, and there weren't enough of us to continue protecting the village the way it should have been protected. Our hunters were out when we were attacked. I had never seen so many Kudlaks work together, and I hope I never see it again. There was one especially who kept cackling and saying he was going to finish his set, no matter what happened."

Gary remembered that, because it had been so odd that it had pierced through his fear and panic. He hadn't had a lot of time to focus on that Kudlak, though.

"They managed to breach the ward," he continued. "We were strong, but the Kudlaks were stronger. No one knew what to do. The people left in the village weren't fighters, but we did our best. I was wounded, but it was nothing next to what the others went through. I lost everyone that day. I had to make a choice, as the village was on fire, and I did the only thing I could. I was in pain and terrified, and I hid."

Gary swallowed and looked down at his hand. His fingers were still linked with Chris's, and he half expected his mate to pull away and tell him that he'd been a coward. He'd told himself that every day since the clan had been attacked, and he believed it.

But he also believed that if he'd fought harder, he'd be dead right now, and he wouldn't have met his mate. Chris would have been fine since he was human, but Gary didn't want to imagine him with anyone else. He was Gary's.

"I can tell you blame yourself for hiding," Chris said gently. "I understand why. I hope you know that you had no other choice. You would have died if you'd stood up to the Kudlaks."

Gary's eyes filled with tears. He didn't want to shed them, so he looked up, hoping it would be enough to stop him from crying. He was making himself vulnerable, and he didn't need to make it worse.

"Logically, I know you're right," he admitted. "Nothing I could have done on my own would have saved the clan. Emotionally, it feels like I failed them, and I'm afraid I'll do the same to you. There's also the fact that there's a chance that one day you won't come back from a fight, and that's hard to wrap my mind around. I already lost so many people. I don't want to lose you, too."

Chris wrapped an arm around Gary's shoulders and pulled him close. He kissed the top of Gary's head, and Gary allowed himself to take comfort in his mate's presence. It was the first time he'd had someone to comfort him like this. Even if he had, it wouldn't have been the same.

Gary only had one mate, and he was in his arms right now. He still didn't understand what he'd done to deserve this happiness, but he told himself that he didn't need to have done anything. He'd suffered enough. He'd watched his entire family and every person he cared about die. Maybe that was enough for Fate to want him to be happy.

As long as she didn't snatch Chris away from Gary anytime soon, Gary thought he would be fine. He couldn't even think about losing his mate, but he told himself he didn't have to. Chris was young and strong. He never went on hunting trips alone. He did everything he could to win his fights and come home.

Gary straightened, even though he wanted to stay in Chris's embrace. "I talked to Alexis, and he said he can help me train. I want to be able to defend myself and others."

Chris frowned. "Are you sure that's advisable? I'm not saying you shouldn't do this if you want to, but unless you have years of training, you probably won't win against a Kudlak. That's why humans don't hunt them alone. It's better in twos or threes. That's how Kendrick, Boyd, and I became friends. We were stuck together a lot of the time, and we learned to trust each other with our lives."

"I don't expect to ever be able to defeat a Kudlak on my own, but I don't need to. As long as I can defend myself and anyone around me long enough that better-trained people can arrive, I'll be fine."

Chris didn't look convinced, but he didn't try to change Gary's mind. That was good, because Gary was pretty sure he'd give his mate anything he asked for, no matter how he felt about it. He realized it was stupid and that the only reason he felt like that was that he was afraid to lose Chris.

But he wouldn't. He wouldn't allow anyone to take his mate away, be it himself or the circumstances. Whatever happened next, he and Chris would face it together.

"I don't know about you, but I feel a bit lighter," Chris said as he pulled Gary toward him again.

"I do. I never like talking about what happened, but it was the right thing to do today."

Chris's smile was gentle. "We both need to learn to let go of the guilt."

"Maybe we can learn together."

Chris's eyes sparkled as he leaned forward to kiss Gary. Gary didn't know what the future held and if he'd ever be able to get over how he felt about his lost clan, but he would try. He owed it to himself and to Chris to heal and be ready if anything happened again.