2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Locke

I hit the button on my stream deck to switch my lights to red, giving the room a more ominous vibe as I fought the big baddie.

"It's all about the dodge and recovery on this one. If you stay in one place for too long, you'll be dead before you have a chance to throw your blade."

On Titan mode, it had taken me a lot longer to finish the boss level than it normally would, but with a lot of practice, I'd figured out the rhythm and found the sweet spot. When she went down at last, the chat screen erupted in emotes and cheers popped up on the screen. It was always nice getting the tips after a big fight.

"Okay. That was easy enough. So from here on out, it's a matter of collecting all the hidden tokens to get the special armor before heading into the Underworld. We're getting closer to endgame, but I plan to show you some of the fun side quests before we get locked in for the final main quest. But first, I'll be demo-ing some indie horror games that were sent to me. I'll be going in blind and learning them right alongside you. It's always fun to see what producers make when they are working with a smaller budget. I've found some real gems in the indie world, and they are definitely worth checking out. Click to see my list of recommendations. Until next time, I'm Locke, your favorite trans gamer, breaking the binary...code."

I tapped the stream deck to shut off my camera before ending the video on the webcam. Now that the livestream was over, I needed to make a few clips, reels, and upload the VoD—video on demand content—to Youtube as well, for all the folks that didn't catch it live. I also did a quick skim through the chatbox to see if there were any important questions I missed that I would address in my weekly Q having people approach me in real life was way different than getting messages or chatting online.

Online, I put on a persona, but in reality, I was just me. Sometimes, just me was an introvert that didn't want to strike up conversations with anyone. I kept my head down, following the sidewalk with no real plan or destination. When a door opened and I caught a whiff of burgers and fries, my stomach growled. How long had it been since I ate? I had a schedule for streaming and work, but I sometimes got so focused and busy that I forgot to get up and eat. You couldn't really stop in the middle of a livestream either, and today's was my long one. Three hours of live gaming and talking made you hungry.

I lifted my head to see where I was and a smile came to my face. Randy's. I should have known by the smell alone, but also spatial awareness should have clued me in, except that I'd been in my own little world. Randy's had the best comfort food, but I usually called ahead and ordered for pick-up. I liked the place, it was fun and was known to be inclusive, but it seemed to be consistently busy. Not so much that you had to wait hours for a table or food, but enough that there were always people hanging around. In my desire to not talk to anyone, it was a lot.

Now that I was here, I couldn't simply walk on by and not get food, but I would have to order inside and wait. Would it be bad if I stood outside and ordered on my phone? Sigh. Probably. "You just defeated the boss on Titan mode, you can go in and talk to people."

After my not so peppy self-pep talk, I braced myself and opened the door. It was almost ten at night, and there were still several occupied tables throughout the restaurant. Groups of people huddled together, a few couples, and a handful of folks sitting by themselves.

A server wearing high heels greeted me, waving his long acrylic nails around. His name tag said Henry and had a sticker that said ‘Drag is Art' on it. "Sit wherever you like, I'll be with you in a minute."

"Uh, actually, can I just place an order to go?"

"Sure, love, just head to the counter, and they'll help you there." The server clacked his nails as he pointed with his head, before sashaying toward a table. Henry walked in heels like they were an extension of his body. I'd never had that kind of grace, but then I never felt right wearing them, anyway.

"Thanks," I mumbled, grateful I didn't have to strike up a conversation. At the counter, I stood between stools, like I was waiting at a bar for a drink. I really should have ordered ahead. An older woman, maybe in her fifties, with brunette hair, stopped in front of me and offered a wide, genuine smile. She'd been here a few times when I picked up my orders. As much as I preferred not to interact, I couldn't deny that her smile was welcoming. She had that mamabear vibe that made you feel instantly comfortable.

"Hi, sweetie, welcome back to Randy's. I didn't see any pick-up orders, did you just put it in? I might need to refresh the system to make sure it came through."

My eyes darted to her nametag. "Hi, um, Iris. No, I forgot to call ahead. Is it okay if I do a to-go order?"

"Of course! Do you know what you want, or do you need a few minutes with a menu?"

"I think I'll just get my usual."

"One pot roast dinner coming up." Iris winked at me. It surprised me for a moment that she knew what I liked to get, especially since I normally was in and out quickly. "Can I get you a drink or something to munch on while you wait?"

Normally, I would pass on that, but my stomach growled, and it would be a while before I got back home with my food. "Okay. I'll take a Shirley Temple, but can you put that in a to-go cup? And maybe a side of fries?"

She wrote on her notepad and nodded toward the stool next to me. "Sure thing, I'll get those out to you in a jiffy. Why don't you have a seat?"

I tried not to sigh out loud as I sat down, pulling out my phone. My notifications were muted, otherwise it would never stop going off, so I opened each app and took a quick peek. Nothing seemed urgent, and there were too many messages to go through right then, so I put my phone away again. A paper cup was placed in front of me and I gratefully took a drink of the cherry-flavored soda. With drink in hand, I turned around on the stool and lowered my hood, casually scoping out the place.

If I wasn't so socially spent by the time I was done working, it would be a cool place to chill. It appeared many others thought so, too. A loud burst of laughter rose from a group, drawing my attention. Two people high-fived across the table. At a booth across from them was someone who totally ignored the entire exchange. They had headphones on and were watching a…monitor?

That was unexpected to see. I watched casually as they made faces. Faces I could easily recognize as someone focused on a game. It was one of those things I became super aware of once I started filming myself while playing. The tongue sticking out, the squinted eyes, the tilting your head to turn one direction or another as if your body motion helped. All of those involuntary movements you didn't realize you did. It had become something I purposely trained myself out of. Twitch had a tendency to set your thumbnail to the worst screen-cap moment it could get, and I didn't want any more of them with my tongue hanging out in concentration.

Waffle fries appeared next to me, and I popped one into my mouth, savoring the perfectly seasoned, crispy potatoes. My attention went back to the person in the booth. They were completely unaware of what was happening around them, and I found it kind of endearing in a weird way. There was that wonder in their face that I didn't often have when gaming. Not anymore. Gaming was work. I still loved it, but it was different than how it used to be when I simply played for fun, no matter how much my parents tried to encourage me to go out and play.

Going out and playing wasn't as easy when you didn't feel right in your skin. Before I had words and labels to understand who I was, gaming was a safe place that let me express myself differently.

Watching the person now sparked my curiosity. What game were they playing? Why were they playing here? My zapped social energy suddenly had a little spark. It would be totally uncool to go over and interrupt. I certainly wouldn't want that if it were me.

Another sip of soda, another fry, but my eyes kept drifting over. What the fuck was I doing? I was in a weird headspace and should just head home. How long until my food was ready? I glanced at the kitchen where the cooks were hustling and slinging out meals, but I didn't see any in a to-go box yet. My attention returned to that corner booth.

I waved, getting Iris' attention, and she came right over. "I'm going to use the bathroom, can you keep an eye on all of this for me?"

"Sure thing, sweetie. Your food should be up in a few minutes, so I can box up your fries if you'd like."

"That would be great, thank you."

With my hands in my pockets, I strolled casually toward the gender neutral bathrooms. All the bathrooms at Randy's were gender neutral, which had been really nice to see when I first started coming here. Though, I wasn't usually here long enough to use them…or pretend to. The gamer's booth was right by the hallway to the restrooms. It was purely coincidental that they just happened to be on the path I was taking.

They were sitting with their back to the wall and the monitor facing the bathrooms, which meant I wouldn't be able to see their screen until I was behind them. Trying not to be too conspicuous, I went right by and into a restroom. Washing my hands, I tried to stay there until it seemed like a normal amount of bathroom-usage time had passed, as I cursed at myself for this behavior. I still had time to walk away and leave them alone. Which was exactly what I didn't do.

When I exited, I took a couple of slow steps, pausing just long enough to catch one of my favorite games on their screen. It had mechanical dragons in a post-apocalyptic world. They were running from electrical charges that were spit out from a particularly challenging creature. Each time they shot an arrow and ran, they would get caught in the electricity, draining their energy, and they would have to eat berries to build up their health. And…too late. The screen went red as their warrior's crumpled body lay on the ground in an unnatural position.

They respawned at the start of the tunnel that would lead them to the cave with the dragon they had just died fighting. I stood behind them for far longer than normal as I watched them sprint through the tunnel, my lips twitching with amusement each time they bumped into a wall, turned, and sprinted again. Direction was more challenging when you were sprinting, and it took practice to get those minute turns and dodges down at full speed. It didn't seem to deter them, though, they just pinballed their way through. When it opened to the cave, it only took seconds for them to get hit by that electrical wave once more. They weren't going to last long, and I could no longer stand back and do nothing.

I realized the uncoolness of what I was doing, but I did it anyway. I stepped forward so I was no longer creeping behind them and waved in their field of vision, seeing as how they were completely focused on their game. They paused and took off their headphones. Before they looked up, I was already apologizing.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I could give you a little tip to help you get through that battle, if you're interested."

"Nah, I'm good, but thank…" they turned their head and lifted their eyes, which blew wide with recognition as soon as they saw my face. "Holy shit! Are you who I think you are?"

Well…fuck! So much for keeping it lowkey tonight. I ran my hand through my hair and quirked my lips to the side. "Um…I might be."

Now that I was close enough, I could see a button that said ‘ he/him ' on a trans flag background pinned to his hoodie that had a graphic of the cartoon frog from Hello Kitty. He stared at me through brown wonder-filled eyes. Well, I'd started this, but what the hell did I do next?

I pointed at him. "I like your button."

"OMG, thank you! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare, I'm just surprised. It's you. You're actually here." He thrust his hand toward me. "Hi, I'm Adam."

As much as I had been hoping to get back home without interaction, I had to admit that I was taken by the excitement in his expression. His soft cheeks were nearly as rosy as the frog on his sweater. He had short, dark blond hair and ears that stuck out a little, giving him an elfish appearance. The man was…adorable.

Shaking his hand, I said, "Hi Adam, Locke."

His hand in mine gave me a little jolt I didn't expect. Maybe it was static electricity, feeling the spark that his character had been fighting, or…something else. Our hands stayed clutched in a handshake that lingered a little longer than normal, before I dropped it and gave an awkward smile.

"Wow, Locke! I don't really know what to say. I'm a huge fan. In fact, I was planning to catch up on today's episode later. That's weird to say, right? Just ignore that. Did you want to sit down?" He scooted closer to the wall, and I was really tempted to squeeze in beside him, but I remained standing.

His rambling was endearing. I'd met plenty of fans and was used to a wide variety of reactions, but it was cute on him. "No, thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your game. But I can give you some pointers." I nodded toward the screen.

Adam bit his lip, his eyes darting between the game and me, looking so freaking cute. "Thanks, that is really nice of you to offer. I should say yes, I mean…you're you, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I like to figure it out on my own."

In this day and age where cheats and tutorials were easy to find online, hell, any number of my videos or clips could answer a lot of questions, it was admirable to see someone take the long way through. "Okay, I can respect that. So how many times have you fought that dragon?"

Adam blushed so beautifully, and he gave me a sheepish look. "Uh…maybe twenty or so."

I coughed to cover the laugh that barked out of me. "Sorry. I thought you might have just started on it."

Adam shrugged, seeming unbothered, though his cheeks were still a pretty shade of pink. "It's been a minute."

"Order to go." Iris shouted from the counter.

I had been eager to get my food and go, but I found it strangely hard to leave, curious to see if Adam would find the combo that would let him set off the resonator to disrupt the electric waves. I didn't have a logical reason to stay, though.

"That's me, I gotta get going. It was nice to meet you, Adam."

He bobbed his head enthusiastically with an excited grin. "OMG, yes, so cool to meet you, Locke."

"Until next time." I gave a little finger wave and walked away quickly as I kicked myself for almost giving him my whole sign-off. Luckily, I managed to stop myself. Still, what a strange fucking thing to say to a stranger. Talking in real life to people was so much harder than talking online. I hoped Adam wasn't disappointed after meeting me. That thought stayed with me and bothered me more than it should.