Chapter 19

I had barely shut my eyes all night. I couldn't stop thinking about Alejandro.

I wasn't completely sure that trusting the words of a kidnapper about not being a murderer was the right approach. But at the same time, I couldn't fathom that this man would have it in him to take someone's life. At least not without reason.

There was a certain permanence to an act like that, both in terms of the life taken and the life of the killer going forward. What I saw was a man in pain, mourning the loss of someone dear to him, not an assassin. If the life of others didn"t mean anything to him, I was not so sure I would still be alive. He also didn't have a good reason to lie to me. I was at his mercy, after all.

But he still was the man who'd had a group of people drug me and take me from my home. How could I want a man like this?

I still couldn't help also wanting him with every single fiber of my being. Alejandro had taken possession of my body, and I was realizing that the man was dangerously close to taking possession of my heart. This frightened me to my core. I couldn't have that. I just couldn't. To allow oneself to feel this invincible, infinite pull to another was the beginning of death in my head. That was when one stopped being self-sufficient. This dependence on another being"s life, mood, and affection was my worst nightmare, and wouldn't end well. It couldn't.

I told myself to be practical. How would a relationship with someone like that even work? What would he want from me? Some wife who would just have to deal with his lifestyle?

I reminded myself not to confuse a few passionate moments for a lifetime commitment. That was not what I wanted—ever. And why would someone like Alejandro ever want such a thing? He was the untamed, tall, dark, and handsome criminal who could have any woman his heart desired.

I was his captive. We had nothing in common other than the fact that certain circumstances had forced us under one roof for an indeterminate amount of time.

Dolores finally got me out of my misery with a very strong cup of coffee and some fruits for me to nibble on. I chose to sit in the sun, trying to strengthen my resolutions and feel less miserable. As I looked toward the hot tub, all the memories I was trying to ignore flooded me with burning desire and need. I could feel his hands, caressing and possessing my body, melting me into submission.

No. I wasn't going down this route again. It was time for a good, cold shower.

After my shower, I opted for a comfortable pair of light-blue jeans with a simple white shirt. I decided to wear a pair of beige, lace-free, Ultra-Flex Skechers that Dolores had added to my ever-growing collection.

I had a lot to think about. I had been playing with the engagement ring for a while. Many women would have felt so happy to have a man like George, to have a ring like the one I was holding around their finger. But that ring didn"t quite fit me. Not anymore, I concluded while putting it on my finger. It never really quite fit me, if I was being honest. But I forced myself to keep it on, a symbol of that life I should have been looking forward to going back to.

In the afternoon, I asked Dolores if it was okay for me to go walk a bit by the pool, and she said yes. I felt a lot stronger, and the doctor was very happy to see how I was doing when he visited earlier in the morning.

Before I embarked on my walk, I decided to eat my lunch out on the balcony. As I opened the door, I could hear voices coming from the pool area. I peeked a bit to see what was going on and saw a woman talking to a man.

Her back was turned to me, but her frame looked like Karina. The man seemed annoyed and was pacing. Finally, he stopped in front of Karina and kissed her on the lips. Karina did not reject him. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Who was this man? He was tall and very built. He was definitely wearing some sort of police uniform.

Paying closer attention, I saw a nameplate I couldn't read, a badge, a radio, and a gun at his waist. This man was a cop—perhaps an undercover cop but definitely a law enforcement agent. Karina looked behind them, making sure they were alone, and grabbed the officer's arm as they walked away. I made sure I was out of sight, and when they left, I went to sit down at the desk.

What the hell had I just seen? Was the cop looking for me, trying to rescue me? Why was he talking to Karina?

Clearly, he was something to her by the way they kissed. I doubted he was here to help me. If only Alejandro would trust me with more information, I would perhaps have a better idea of how to interpret what I had just seen. I wasn"t sure if I should even tell him. I didn"t know what he would do to Karina if he found out. Why would Karina try to help me in the first place? To get rid of me, perhaps?

So many questions with no good answer. When Dolores came to take me for a walk, I told her that I felt a little bad and changed my mind.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"No, no. I'm just still a little tired, but nothing to worry about," I reassured her.

I waited a few seconds before continuing.

"Dolores, what do you know about Karina?"

"Karina?" said Dolores with slight disgust. "She works for Don Alejandro."

"You don't seem to like her," I pushed.

"No. She doesn't know her place," Dolores said with contempt.

"Is she his girlfriend?"

"Ha ha, en sus suenos," laughed Dolores.

I also laughed. I didn't know Dolores could be mean, but of course she was protecting the man she saw as a son. I had no complaints.

"Well," I pushed further, "I saw them kissing…"

Dolores sighed and sat down on my side for a minute.

"Bueno, they, uh, do…como se dice…things," she said with clear frustration.

"Don Alejandro is a man, and Karina knows how to use that. But Don Alejandro doesn"t love her," she said, putting her hand on mine.

Dolores gave me a faint smile. I knew what she had in mind. She thought I was jealous, and she was trying to reassure me. I couldn't hide my smile or the little bud of hope flourishing inside of me, however silly. I tried to look away to hide my feelings.

"I don't care, really," I clarified.

"Se?orita, mire, I know that things are…difficult…but Don Alejandro is a good man. He is a great man. He would never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. He cares a lot about you."

I searched Dolores's eyes for mockery or lies, but all I saw was a woman, who could do nothing else but love, tell me what she really felt. I leaned in to hug her. I needed to feel the love and warmth of a person I felt I could fully trust.

"Can you please tell him I need to talk to him?" I asked Dolores.

"He is not home, but I can tell him."

"Tell him it's very important," I insisted. "The sooner he can come home, the better."

"I will, se?orita," she promised. "I am going to visit family today and tomorrow, but when I come back, I will make you a delicious caldo with dinner to give you strength," she said, looking at me tenderly.

"Thank you, Dolores. I don't think I would have survived so long here without you."

Dolores gave me another hug and got up to leave.

When Dolores left, I lay down on the bed, thinking. My instincts told me to tell Alejandro what I had seen as soon as possible. I wasn't sure if I was making a mistake, because if this cop was here to save me, I could ruin everything.

But the way both he and Karina looked around to make sure no one else saw them gave me a bad feeling. Karina could not be trusted. It was anything but reassuring to see her talk to a cop.

I considered what would be the best course of action all evening, stress toying with my insides, but I always got to the same conclusion: I had to tell him. Dolores had told me that Alejandro was busy in meetings but would be back home as soon as possible. I would tell him everything when he came back.