Chapter 17

The nap had served its purpose. When Dolores woke me up, I felt better than I had in days. She brought me a light sandwich and a side of fruit. Alejandro was no longer in the room. I felt at peace, replaying that kiss in my head over and over again. Alejandro had made me feel wanted and cared for.

I was trying to focus on that, on how he made me feel, but I couldn't stop the picture of the dead man from coming to my memory every now and then. I didn't think Alejandro had killed him, but I had no way of really knowing.

Perhaps if I found out the identity of that man, I could try to find out how he died. Why would Alejandro keep a picture of someone that he killed? Also, whose diamonds were those? I had forgotten about the picture of the diamonds! I was sure I had seen that bag before. But where would I have seen something like that?

"Richard!" Richard had had that bag on his table in his office one time. I felt my heart drop to my stomach at the realization. Richard had that bag!

I had asked him about it, and he had told me that it was a watch! It was the same bag with the letters MFG on it. It couldn't be a coincidence. I had watched Richard put the bag in the safe he hid behind his movable bookshelf. That wasn't the only safe he had in his office, and certainly not the most secret one, but it was where he kept his jewelry, so I didn't think anything of it. I hadn't even asked to see the watch, having no interest in Richard"s affairs. I had just assumed it was from his watch collection and gave it no thought back then.

A few days later, as I was perusing the library, unbeknownst to him, I saw him move a few items from the safe behind the bookshelf to the one hidden low in the wall, behind a big faux plant. I didn't think much of that either—Richard was always suspicious of the help, after all. Assuming I was right, Alejandro must have found out about those diamonds and kidnapped me for Richard to give them to him.

Where would Richard have found that many diamonds in the first place? They must be worth an enormous fortune, as both men seemed to be doing fine financially, and yet my freedom had been taken from me, likely in exchange for them? How would Alejandro have known about them anyway? Did they know each other? I wasn"t sure what to do with this information. I wasn"t sure if I wanted to confront him about it.

How greedy could a person be to kidnap another human being for some diamonds—however much they might be worth. Alejandro did not care about my life or what he was destroying by taking my freedom away for money.

I was starting to ground myself in logic and rationality. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything for someone like this. He acted like a gentleman, yes, but he had also kidnapped me. How could I reconcile the criminal and the gentleman? I needed to do something, distract myself. I opened every single drawer in the room to see if I could find anything useful to my situation, but there was nothing.

Of course, Alejandro wasn't stupid, and he wasn't going to leave anything compromising in this room, especially after he found me going through his things in his office. I walked into his closet to explore. Alejandro had exquisite taste. I found a couple tuxedos and smiled—of course he had some. I loved a man in a suit. George wore them often, but they seemed to never quite fit him. I lightly caressed the satin lapel on one of the tuxedos, running my hand down to explore the feel of it.

I felt something in the left jacket pocket. I turned around to make sure I was alone and pulled the piece of paper out. It was the invitation to my birthday party. Slight panic started to rise in my stomach. He was there, at my party, the day I got abducted! I searched my memory for guests. How would he have even received an invitation in the first place?

I remembered…I remembered the mysterious man that was staring at me from afar, sending a burning sensation down my back even when I couldn't see him.

It must have been him, planning and organizing what would turn out to be one of the worst evenings of my life! I was enraged. Of course, it wasn't news that he had kidnapped me, but getting acquainted with the reason and the details of the execution made his crime all too real, too raw again. I put the card back where I found it and went back to the room, pacing back and forth. I was starting to feel weak again, but I didn't care. I could not stay still.

When Alejandro knocked and opened our common bedroom door, I flew to him, pushing him.

"You were there, weren't you?"

"What?" he said, holding my hands to get me to stop hitting him.

"My birthday party. You were there!"

"Ah," he said, letting me go. "Yes," he admitted, walking to the window.

"Criminal!" I shouted. "How could you so coldly calculate how to ruin someone"s life—on their birthday, mind you. What kind of a man goes to a party, enjoys it, and engages in pleasantries while his people take someone's freedom away?!"

"Amelia…"

"No, there is nothing you can say. You are a sadist!"

"Enough!" he said, turning to face me. His hardened face softened when he realized I was sobbing.

"Amelia, please…"

"Don't come near me!" I cried. "You disgust me!"

Alejandro looked like someone had punched him in the chest.

"How did you get in, in the first place? How were you invited?"

"Amelia, there is a lot you don't understand."

"Well, explain it to me! Tell me! I am not a child. I deserve to know, to understand! I can't keep doing this!"

I could feel my throat closing.

This wasn't just about the kidnapping. It was about the shame and confusion I felt because of how one touch of his could transport me to another world. It was about trying to reconcile what I felt and what I should feel, trying to find an explanation, a sliver of hope, but realizing how absurd and illogical my behavior had been.

"I can't!" he shouted. "Don't you understand?!" he pleaded, closing the distance between us. "I am trying to protect you! The less you know, the better!"

"Bullshit!"

"Do you think I enjoy this?" His lips hardened, and his nostrils flared as he grabbed my arm to make me look at him. "Can't you see what I am going through?" he whispered, searching my eyes for answers. "I have to protect you—now more than ever. I can't…I can't let them get to you, mi ni?a." He added in a deeper voice. "I can't tell you what I know, it will put your life in danger even further. Do you get that? Can you not trust me?"

Searching his eyes, I tried to understand what he was so afraid to voice. He looked conflicted, with a painful darkening his gaze. He was pulling me again, destabilizing my resolve and the strength I thought reason could feed me. Panicked, I pulled my arms away with all my strength, going as far from him as I could.

"I can't trust you if you can"t tell me. I can't trust you if you don't trust me, Alejandro."

Alejandro looked devastated, but I could not let what might just be me projecting what I wanted to see make me lose control of my emotions any more than I already had.

"Fuck!"

I shrieked at his scream, taking a couple more steps back. Before I could say anything, he was in front of me. I was breathing heavily, not sure if I was more afraid of him hitting me or kissing me, but Alejandro walked away, left the room, and closed the door violently behind him.

I hurried to the bed, feeling myself about to collapse. My chest was tight, overwhelmed with all the emotions that were currently coursing through me. This conversation had accomplished the complete opposite of clarity. Alejandro seemed torn, and whatever he was hiding was eating at him.

There was no part of me that perceived him as dangerous or evil, and yet I couldn't bring myself to trust him, to let go. Letting go and trusting others wasn't something I was fond of, and how could I even be considering it in my situation?

Ever since I could remember, I was alone, with no family. It was always just me and Richard—the only man in my life with any impact, a man I despised. Martha had done her best to fill some of the void for me, and I loved her like a mother. But otherwise, I had to learn to survive on my own, and I had become quite protective of my space. Any other person was an intruder.

That was why my love life was the way it was. George didn't expect anything from me. He was nice and respectful, and he gave me all the space I wanted. Most women would mind, but not me. In any event, I always assumed that his interest in me was due to Richard, and I didn't care. The fact that he kept some distance was the perfect situation.

Alejandro, on the other hand, I felt a deep need for, and that frightened me to my core. I felt his absence as much as I felt his proximity. I craved him, desired him more than I had ever desired any other being. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to listen to him talk, see him smile, and I had an inexplicable urge to make him happy.

But how did I explain this to a rational person? I was sure my friends would think I was crazy for lusting after my kidnapper. I could hear Chloe telling me to be strong, to not have "dick blindness." I laughed, the imaginary conversation with my friends providing some much-needed comfort. It must just be sex, I decided. It must be that. His masculinity was intoxicating.

Alejandro looked like the kind of man a mother would warn her daughter about. He looked dangerous and seductive, like trouble often was. I sighed. I was calming down. Since all this was just lust, I could fight it. I was a strong woman after all, one who had always been able to take charge and keep unwanted distractions at bay. I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling in control again.

I spent the rest of the evening content with myself. I couldn't resist going to Alejandro's closet a few more times, though. I had found his cologne, Mont Blanc Legend, and had opened it to take a whiff. It smelled just like him, the most perfectly masculine scent I had ever smelled.

I hadn't found any other useful documents or clues. When Dolores brought me some dinner, I was a little disappointed that Alejandro wasn't there. I knew I had pushed him away and potentially hurt him, but I was in the right. It really was for the best.