Chapter 21

Gabriel

I can’t get this maddening woman out of my head. She’s not only quickly weaving her way under my skin, but she’s also knocking walls down left, right, and center. I’ve no clue as to what I did to deserve her kiss. Not only did it rock my world and make my dick even harder than it was before, but feeling her soft lips on my skin — it made me want more. And not just sex, though obviously I’d love nothing more than to take her back to my home — a place I’ve never taken a woman before, aside from Tiffany. But it’s so much more than just physical. She’s attentive and endearing. She listens and asks questions.

Women in my past have only ever been after me for one thing; and while that’s all dandy, I long for a woman with substance. Someone who wants to hear about the goddamn constellations and what I have to say.

And I’m realizing all of this now. At this very moment. While I lie in bed with my hand around my cock, pleasing myself imagining such things.

It’s indulgent.

It’s wrong.

But it feels oh, so right.

Skye Hendry may just be the sweetest human I’ve ever encountered.

I’ve been with quite a few women, but nothing compared to how I felt lying next to Skye with all our clothes on.

I want to know all about her. What her hopes and dreams are. What she wants to accomplish in life, and where she sees herself. I always look at everything objectively, and I know we can’t be anything, but it may just be the one true regret I have if I don’t pursue her. I’m chicken, that’s for sure, but I also have an obligation to my daughter. If me and Skye end up in the sack, or more, where does that fit with my daughter if things don’t work out? Trinity would get close to her, and then when I fuck up — as apparently, I do well — she’d be gone. And my child and I would be left to pick up the pieces, alone again.

The idea that someone could ruin us, just like Tiffany did, makes me stop in my tracks. Halting my hand on my dick. I can’t do this… then I remember her sweet mouth on my skin. Her gorgeous scent, and how klutzy she is. It’s all adorable as much as it is sexy.

Just when I thought I was done for any woman, that I couldn’t possibly love again like I loved Tiffany — or be loved, for that matter — Skye came along, and now she’s all I can picture. This has nothing to do with her being new in town, or that she’s as cute as she is sweet natured. It’s to do with the feeling.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve had goosebumps rise on my skin just listening to a woman speak. Or the fact my heart skips a beat whenever she enters a room. And when she touches me? I’m done. And I shouldn’t be done. I should be a fucking professional and keep my hands off the goddamn nanny.

I know one little taste, one tiny touch, is all it would take. Like her kiss; I wanted so much to turn my head, capture her mouth and return the favor, tenfold. I wanted to make her feel as good as she made me feel. I wanted to be better than any guy that has come before me, and — while that might sound cliche — I mean every damn word.

This woman is dangerous.

Dangerous with a capital D.

To think she’ll be leaving soon and starting a new life in North Carolina makes me groan in frustration. Then there’s the idea that she’d eventually start dating; plenty of men would be lining up to be her suitor.

I can’t stand the thought of her with another man. It makes me jealous; another trait that I’ve only just realized about myself. It’s been so long since I’ve cared for a woman in that way that I’ve momentarily forgotten. But with Skye? She makes me feel things I thought were long and buried. Like she can see straight into my soul.

Get ahead of yourself.

Every time I try to do just that, I remember her kiss and our gazes locked right beforehand.

We had a moment. I know that she knows; that’s why she kissed me. But she wasn’t quite brave enough to plant one on my lips; where I really wanted her. And like the goodie-two-shoes I am — always trying to be the good guy — I didn’t reciprocate.

I stood there like a fucking idiot until she pushed off me and got back into the truck. And if I’m honest with myself; it’s not just the fact that she’s my nanny — it’s also because I’m too chicken shit to try. Because I know deep down to love a woman like Skye would ruin me all over again. If I had her and then lost her, I don’t know how I would ever recover.

And this is why I’ve built a wall. A wall that’s so high I never let anyone over. But tonight I did. Tonight I took her to my special place and told her all about the constellations. One of my secret passions. The one thing that gives me that feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. A lot like the bourbon we create at the distillery. I love it. It’s in my veins. I live and breathe it. And it makes me wonder why I’ve never bought a telescope since I was a kid. It seems a little crazy. That I wouldn’t do something that gives me infinite pleasure. Why is that? Do I think I don’t deserve it? To be happy?

Have I wasted all these years being angry? Have I missed the boat?

A revelation sweeps through me.

Maybe I don’t.

Maybe I have put off ever finding anyone again that could get close enough, in fear of what they might do. I feel pain, then I feel anger. Even without realizing, as it seems she’s still controlling me. All these years later.

Well, no longer. I’m not going to let what happened to me rule my heart any longer.

I roll over. My revelations spark something inside of me that feels a lot like the phoenix rising from the ashes. Something inside me has changed. Like I flipped the switch.

And it’s all because of her.

* * *

“Please?” Trinity begs as we’re driving into town to go meet Macey and the pups on Saturday morning.

“Baby, I told you, it’s Skye’s day off today. I doubt very much she’d want to come with us to look at the puppies.”

She pouts. “She told me she did!”

I give her a pointed look. “She did?”

“Yes!” My daughter nods, folding her arms over her chest.

I try not to laugh. She reminds me of Georgia-Blue when she was that age. Stubborn as a mule.

“I think maybe we’ll look first and we might send her some photos?”

”Okay!” she agrees, seemingly happy with that for now.

At least it might satisfy her for the short term. I’m sure she’ll ask me five hundred more times before we get there. Macey from Stoney Creek Paws Shelter called me, as she knows I’ve been interested in a small dog for Trinity for a while now. With her being so young, I don’t want a big dog that could potentially bowl her over with excitement.

Three puppies from a Toy Poodle litter just came in from Nashville, which happens from time to time when their shelter gets too full. There is a wait list in Stoney Creek, and anyone caught buying a dog in this town better head for the hills, not when there are so many dogs needing a home in shelters around the country.

We’re lucky that we got the call, and we’re top of the list to look first. I know for a fact Trin will want to take all the dog’s home, but I just hope we gel with one of them.

The breed of dog isn’t so important, but I think with them being Toy Poodles and only a small breed, it’s perfect for us.

There’s two boys and a girl to look at. Trinity has been running around all morning doing a little dance and singing excitedly.

“You have to help Daddy though if we get a pup, remember?” I say.

“I will,” she promises. “I’ll help you walk the puppy and feed it!”

“Oh, wow, you will?”

“Yep, and I’ll cuddle the puppy, Daddy. Make sure it’s warm.”

“That would be so helpful, baby. Should we stop and get an ice cream on the way?”

“Yes, pwease!”

I smile. Seeing her happy and excited brings me joy. A lot of it.

It also brought me joy spending time with Skye last night, and I haven’t stopped thinking about her since. I wanted to text her and ask her to come, but I don’t want to be presumptuous. Though if last night was anything to go by, I think she’ll be fine with it. When we stop for an ice cream, I’ll send her a text and check how her gramps is doing.

“What ice cream do you feel like, honey?” I ask as we walk into Stone’s Throw.

They have a small homemade selection with her favorite rainbow ice cream.

“Rainbow, pwease, Daddy.”

Surprise, surprise. I scoop her up in my arms and give her a cuddle. I immediately see Aunt May behind the counter with her daughter. They’re filling up the cake cabinet.

Trinity goes running up to them at the end of the counter.

“Honeybee, is that you?” Aunt May pushes her glasses to the top of her head as she greets my daughter with a big hug.

“It’s me, Aunt May!”

I can’t hide my smile as I greet her and Caroline.

“Daddy said we could get an ice cream before we get our new puppy,” she tells them.

“We’re just looking at the puppies, Trin, remember? We might get to adopt one, but we’re not sure yet.”

“That’s wonderful news.” Aunt May smiles. “You better tell me all about it, sweetheart.”

“And if you get a new pup, you come and show it off to us,” Caroline adds.

“We will definitely do that, won’t we, Trin?”

“Yep.” She nods her little head.

“You ask Aunt May and Caroline nicely for your ice cream,” I add, turning slightly as I hear the little bell chime when someone walks in behind us. Trin has barely finished asking for her rainbow ice cream before I hear her call Skye’s name.

I see a flash of red hair in my peripheral, which has me doing a double take.

Sure enough, Skye walks in right behind us.

My daughter dashes past me and launches herself into Skye’s legs, wrapping her arms around her.

“Hey, Trin.” She bends down to hug my daughter, her eyes flashing to mine with a smile.

“Hi.” I return her smile. Thoughts of last night come to mind again of those close moments we shared, and I know right here and now seeing her, it’s not going to be enough.

It never could with her. My feelings are starting to run away with me.

“Hi, Gabe.”

Before I can say anything else, Trin gives her a full rundown on what we’re up to.

“Skye, Skye! Guess what? We’re going to see the puppies!”

“Wow, no way! That’s so exciting.”

“And I’m getting an ice cream on the way.”

“Lucky you.” Skye smiles.

“Can you come with us, Skye?” She tugs at Skye’s skirt.

I internally facepalm myself.I cannot take my daughter anywhere.

“Skye is probably very busy,” I say as Aunt May comes around from behind the counter with an ice cream cone. My eyes flick to Skye. I see amusement dancing on her face with a smile that touches her eyes.

“I’m not that busy.” She shrugs.

“See, Daddy! See! Skye can come and look with us.”

“You don’t have to feel obliged because I have a pushy daughter.”

Trin spies Aunt May holding her ice cream and lets go of Skye.

“Remember your manners, Trin.”

“Thank you, Aunt May,” she says as Aunt May hands her the ice cream cone and she takes a big lick.

“Sounds like you’re going to see the new puppy.” Aunt May gives Skye a wink.

“It’s sounding a lot like that,” Skye laughs.

“Would you like a tea?” I ask her, remembering she doesn’t drink coffee. “Or maybe an ice cream?”

“Ice cream!” Trinity declares.

“I think I’ll stick with tea,” Skye says, with an appreciative smile. “But thank you anyway, Trinity.”

“I’ll get right on it,” Aunt May says, making her way back to the counter. “The usual for you, Gabe?”

“Please.”

Aunt May walks over to the coffee machine while we wait. Caroline has retreated to the back.

“How are you?” I ask Skye while watching my daughter, totally engrossed in eating her ice cream.

“I’m great. Last night was really cool. Thanks again. It took my mind off things.”

“It’s not a bad pastime when I want to get away from the world.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me. It’s just what I needed after everything.”

“How is your gramps? I was going to text you, but it was early.”

“He’s doing much better this morning, after a good night’s rest.”

“That’s great news.”

“I was over at the hospital just now. Hopefully, they won’t need to keep him in for too long.”

I smile. “I’m glad to hear that.” I pause. “So you really want to be dragged along to see the dogs?”

She chuckles. “I’d love to.”

I press my lips together, secretly pleased. I just didn’t want to make her feel obliged.

“Macey, the rescue co-ordinator, has the three pups at her place. She’s fostering until they get adopted,” I say.

“Trinity must be so excited.”

“She can hardly contain herself. She’s been bugging me for months about getting a dog. As you would’ve heard.”

“It’s exciting,” she says. “And I’m happy to help, since I’ll be at your place most days. I love dogs.”

“Thanks, and I’m glad you’re not allergic. I had planned on bringing the dog to work initially, so he or she wasn’t alone all day.”

“That’s really sweet, Gabe.”

My eyes flick down to her lips. We were that close to kissing last night, it wasn’t even funny. Nothing is going to stop me if I get the chance again. I won’t be able to contain it or control myself.

“Skye, Skye!” Trinity pulls at her skirt again.

Skye averts her gaze from me and bobs down to my daughter. “Yes, sweetie?”

“You have daisies all over your shirt!”

She’s wearing a knee length denim skirt with a light blue floaty blouse, and true to Trinity’s word, there are daisy flowers all over it.

“That’s right, I love daisies.”

“Me too!”

“Wow, you do?”

Trin nods her head up and down as I reach for some napkins because she has ice cream all over her face. I can’t help but smile.

My two girls.

The thought shocks me. It may have come out of my own head, but it’s also out of left field.

Do I need to shake it off? Or go with it? I can’t work that part out yet because of my moral dilemma. But is it really that bad? Maybe a little cliche with the nanny?

Skye isn’t mine, not by any stretch of the imagination. But the more we’re together, even like this; in a casual setting in the cafe, the more I gravitate toward her. She has this energy that just reels me in.

And the larger part of me wants to be unraveled by her. I want her to see what’s underneath, even when that small voice in my head tells me to guard my heart.

But I”ve kept myself guarded for so damned long. Maybe it’s time to just let go and fall.

Come what may.

Maybe I am already falling, and I just don’t know it yet.