33. Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three

M onths Later…

Natalie

The spring air is crisp and clean as An'kar and I make our way up the familiar mountain path, Shaddai bounding ahead with endless energy. The pup has grown so much over the past few months. He's no longer all gangly limbs and oversized paws, but his spirit remains as bright and playful as ever.

I glance over at An'kar, marveling at the changes in him, too. Gone is the tense set of his shoulders, the perpetual scowl. In its place is a soft smile, an ease in his bearing that makes my heart flutter. He catches me looking and winks, tangling our fingers together.

"Almost there," he murmurs, giving my hand a squeeze. "You ready for this?"

I take a deep breath, letting the pine-scented air fill my lungs. "Yeah. I am. It feels right, doing this with you. "

When we reach the cabin, it looks just like we left it, tucked amid the trees like a secret haven. Shaddai barks excitedly, nosing at the door until An'kar opens it with a chuckle.

Inside, everything is just as we remember. The cozy fireplace, the worn quilt on the bed. But it feels different now, charged with the memory of all that transpired here.

It's still a mess from the mad rush of that morning when Captain Marks barged in and tore me away from my two best guys. Wordlessly, An'Kar and I make the bed and do the dishes. I still work for the Wilderness Guardians Alliance, and who knows, I might be the next staff member stationed here. Larry the Lynx, the evasive little shit, is still out there with his malfunctioning tracking chip.

After one last look around, making sure the cabin is ready for the next inhabitant, whether it's me or someone else, I make my voice falsely bright and urge, "Come on, guys. That special meadow where Mom and I camped so long ago isn't that far from here."

After less than an hour of wordless hiking, we arrive at the meadow that has such a special place in my heart.

An'kar steps back and squats, motioning Shaddai over so I can have my privacy.

"Goodbye, Mom," I whisper, unscrewing the lid with trembling fingers. "I love you. I miss you. But I'm okay now. Better than okay. I found my happiness. My peace."

There's a certainty in my heart that Mom is looking down on me—on us—and smiling. It feels sad, but somehow right for me to tip the urn, watching the ashes scatter on the breeze, dancing and swirling until they settle into the green grasses and disappear.

Tears slide down my cheeks, but they're cleansing. Healing. A final letting go.

An'kar is capable of complete stealth when he wants, but his steps are loud enough to alert me that he's coming to stand at my side. The moment I say, "I think I'm okay," he pulls me into his arms and I sink into him, breathing in his wild, earthy scent.

"She'd be so proud of you, sur'nam . Of the woman you've become."

Nuzzling his chest, my heart is full to bursting. "I know. I feel her here. Smiling down on us."

Shaddai chooses that moment to barrel into our legs, yipping insistently. We break apart, the knowledge of what comes next making the moment even more bittersweet.

"Alright, alright!" An'kar ruffles the pup's ears affectionately. "I guess it's time for your next big adventure, huh, bud?"

Leading Shaddai a few feet away, An'kar crouches down to his level, face solemn. "You be good out there, you hear me? No picking fights with bears or bothering the lady wolves. You'll be a gentleman, right? A wolfy gentleman."

Shaddai just cocks his head, tongue lolling in a happy grin. My throat tightens, an ache taking root. I know this is right, that he belongs in the wild, free and untamed. But God, it hurts to let him go. He's become an integral part of our little family.

An'kar straightens, stepping back with a decisive nod. "Okay. Time to make tracks, little man."

But Shaddai doesn't move. He just sits there, staring up at us with those big, golden eyes. Waiting.

"Go on." I flap my hands in a shooing motion. "Go be a wild wolf. Find your pack. Have adventures!"

He yawns, flopping down on his belly without a care in the world other than a fascination with a bee. If he doesn't stop nudging that insect, it looks as though in another second that cute black nose of his is going to get stung.

I shoot An'kar a bewildered look. "Uh. Is this normal? Do we just… walk away? Leave him? "

An'kar scratches his jaw, brows furrowed. "I don't know. His pack is in the area, I can smell them. I was going to hang close to make sure they take him back. Even though his hunting skills are improving, he's too young to be on his own."

Shaddai's tail thumps lazily against the ground, the picture of unconcern.

A laugh bubbles out of me, bright and incredulous. "Oh, my god. I think he's trying to tell us something."

An'kar's lips twitch, fighting a smile. "Yeah? Like what?" For a smart male, that's a stupid question, unless this whole outing has been a fool's errand and An'kar knew the outcome from the get-go.

I throw my hands up, grinning helplessly. "Looks like he's not going anywhere. I think he's telling us he's a Wolven Warrior now, through and through."

"Well…" An'kar's chuckle rumbles out, warm and rich. "I guess we've been adopted by the world's most stubborn wolf."

The rightness of it settles over me like a warm cloak. Our little family. It's unconventional and unexpected but perfect in its own weird way.

I had to try. To give him the opportunity for his instincts to kick in, to go back to the wild. Looks like we don't see eye to eye on that.

Crouching, I open my arms wide. "Alright then, Shaddai. You win. Let's go home, little man."

"Maybe he has the right name for the wrong reasons. Instead of us finding him, maybe Shaddai really means that he found us." An'kar shrugs, unable to hide his happy smile.

With a delighted bark, Shaddai launches himself. In his boundless enthusiasm he bowls me over into the soft grass. I bury my face in his ruff, breathing him in .

"You're stuck with us now," I inform him, my voice mock-stern. "I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into."

"I think he knows exactly what he's doing." An'kar reaches to give me a hand, then presses a smiling kiss to my temple. "Smart pup knows a good thing when he sees it."

Warmth spreads through my chest, an all-consuming sense of rightness, of belonging. This is my life now. My future, stretching out ahead, filled with laughter and love and challenges I can't wait to face.

I turn in An'kar's arms, Shaddai sandwiched between us, and pull him down for a long, slow kiss. A promise, a celebration, a wordless I love you.

When we part, I'm giddy and breathless, my heart soaring. "Let's go home, An'kar… you, too, Shaddai."

An'kar's eyes gleam, bright with joy and that fathomless, fierce tenderness that never fails to steal my breath. "I already am home, sur'nam . Right here, with you."

And as we make our way back down the mountain, Shaddai trotting between us, both their tails held high… I know it's true.