Chapter 20

REINHARDT HOME, ABU DHABI, UAE

Leaving Abu Dhabi was going to be hard. Strike that. Leaving Hollyn would be hard.

Davis cinched the strap on his duffel while Fury supervised from his sprawled out position on the bed.

One week had passed since the mission had come to a head. One week, and he still hadn't been able to bring himself to say those three words to Hollyn. But with damage control after everything, and the funeral, it hadn't felt like the right time. Now he was out of time. Crew'd called him mere hours ago saying the ranch was ready to take Fury.

Davis's hand stalled over the last strap. Guilt plagued him for what he was about to do. But this wasn't forever. It was just for now. They'd talked it over and agreed that Hollyn had a lot of things to take care of as far as the company she was now in charge of and wasn't in a place where she could move. Still, she'd been very quiet since he'd broken the news about Crew's call.

With a heavy sigh, Fury tracked him. The RMWD's gaze was relaxed but heavy. He didn't know it yet, but they'd be on a 747 back to the States in about two hours.

Clearing his throat, Davis secured the last strap. "Look. Things are going to change soon."

Fury lifted his head, all ears. Tail thumped on the bed as he listened.

Flip.

If it was this hard to try and distance himself from the shepherd, doing the same with Hollyn was going to be amplified a hundred times over.

Regret pressed on his shoulders. Drained him. Reminded him how much he was putting on the line by leaving Hollyn now.

Still. He couldn't say what he needed to say and then jet off for who knew how long. But this time he wouldn't make the same mistake as when he enlisted. He was coming back for Hollyn, but it would take time to train a new handler for Fury. Time to make sure the transition was smooth. Weeks. Maybe a few months. Then he was free to do what he wanted.

First things first. Get Fury settled.

He owed the RMWD that much after all they'd been through.

"All finished packing?" Hollyn's soft voice brought him around.

Davis swallowed down the wow that almost slipped out of his mouth. Even in jeans and a simple tee, she was a knockout.

"Yeah." Davis slung the bag over his shoulder, and Fury popped up, ready to go.

Hollyn nodded, and he couldn't deny the sadness written on her face before she turned to walk with them down the hall. His resolve faltered, but he steeled himself to what needed to happen.

Feeling like a class-A jerk, Davis followed her outside and down the front path of the house to where Bongani was waiting to drive them to the airport.

"If I find anything you left, where should I send it?" Hollyn asked as he and Fury stalked to the other side of the car.

She wouldn't find anything, but he wasn't going to say that. "The A Breed Apart ranch. I'll be staying there while I train a new handler for Fury." He paused. "Hol."

She looked to him over the top of the black Mercedes without saying a word.

"This isn't forever. Just . . . for now. I'll be back."

A halfhearted grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Right." She ducked into the car, and they settled in their seats.

Fury sat between Davis's legs in the backseat, happy to be out for a drive. Trying—and failing—to find something to say, Davis noted Bongani eyeing them through the rearview mirror a handful of times during the half-hour drive from Saadiyat Island toward the airport. But the guy didn't say so much as one word. Only the sound of Fury's panting from the backseat broke up the silence.

Cautiously, Davis reached for Hollyn's hand. Wanted to give her some kind of physical reassurance that he wasn't leaving her willingly. She clung to his hand but didn't look over at him.

Palm trees and sandy beaches whizzed by the car as they drove down Sheikh Khalifa Bin Zayed Street.

They pulled up to the curb with Davis still wrestling for something to say. Coming up short. There was nothing that would make this easier.

Bongani opened Hollyn's door, and Davis grabbed his duffel from the trunk. He could hear several people murmuring awe at Fury's size as they walked past.

"Thank you, Davis. For everything." Hollyn moved in for a hug.

Davis held her close. Didn't want to let her go, but it was time.

Don't do anything that will make this harder on her.

"Try to stay out of danger for the next few months, okay?" he joked.

Her laugh was less than wholehearted, and it cut him deeply. "I'll do my best." She pulled back and gave him a small grin, chin quivering slightly.

It almost tugged those three words out of him then and there, but that would be selfish on his part, wouldn't it? He'd seen too many people start off relationships long distance that crashed and burned a few weeks later. He cared about Hollyn too much to risk that.

Once he was back here, he'd never let her go. Just had to make it through the next few months.

Fury sat at Davis's side, observing everyone around them. Always on sentry duty. He was going to do great things for ABA.

Regretfully, Davis turned to Bongani. Shook his hand. "Thanks for the ride, man."

"Of course." Bongani nodded.

"Let me know when you two land?" Hollyn asked.

"Sure thing. I'll see you later, Hol."

With one last look, Davis clicked his tongue to Fury and turned toward the airport.

The next few months were going to suck. No two ways about that.

* * *

"Are you all right?" Bongani's voice held genuine concern.

Hollyn was grateful that he was driving. She didn't think she'd have been able to see the road clearly through the hot tears pooling in her eyes. She nodded her head. It was all she could do without completely breaking down.

Bongani pulled out of the terminal. "Come now," he gently pried from the driver's seat next to her. When she didn't answer, he continued. "Why didn't you go with them?"

She drew in a shaky breath. "He didn't ask me to."

And that was the simple truth of it. Though they'd talked things over and come to an agreement, she couldn't deny that if Davis had asked her to go with him, she would have found a way to make her obligations to Reinhardt Tech work. Would have built a new life by Davis's side now instead of possibly later. But clearly, he didn't feel the same way.

A moment of silence passed between them. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Me too."

Hollyn thought back to the kisses they'd shared. The conversations. The looks. She knew she hadn't made it all into something it wasn't, but maybe what was between them had simply been born out of chaotic circumstances. After all, he'd never actually said he loved her.

Now that things had calmed and returned to a normal pace, it was possible Davis was thinking clearly again—or not, if you asked her—and regretted how far things had progressed between them. He was human, after all. Allowed to feel the way he felt. She only wished they'd had time to talk about things in more depth. He'd said he was coming back, so why did she feel like she was on her own once again?

After the funeral for her parents, Davis had gotten a call from Crew that the team was ready to take Fury. A whirlwind twenty-four hours later, he was ready to leave. It had all happened so fast. So soon. Her mind was still reeling from the events of the last couple of weeks. She needed some clarity. Wished that her parents had been buried here so she could talk "to" them, but Randall had seen to it that they were laid to rest in the family plot back in Tennessee.

Hollyn was grateful for that . . . but nevertheless it amplified the feelings of being left behind. On her own. Again. Still, there was comfort in the knowledge that even though everyone in her life might leave her, God never would. The question was: could she let that be enough?

She could head to the lab . . . but for the first time in her life, it didn't feel like she'd find what she was looking for there. She wouldn't see Dad sitting in his office or hovering over his next project with that familiar gleam of joy in his eye. No. The lab was the last place she wanted to be.

The ocean, then. She always felt close to her parents there.

"Would you please take me to Saadiyat Beach?"

Bongani nodded. "Of course."

He guided the Mercedes through town, and Hollyn let herself stare mindlessly out the window. Watched families walking down sidewalks, mothers dressed in elegant kaftans that rippled in the breeze blowing in from the gulf. Children laughing while they talked with their fathers. The skyline of the city behind them was filled with a mix of gorgeous curved architecture seemingly a throwback to times past as well as modern skyscrapers ushering in the future.

Why didn't it feel like her future was here anymore?

Abu Dhabi had never felt so distant to her as it did now. It no longer felt like home.

When she felt the car come to a stop, Hollyn blinked. She sat up straighter in her seat, staring at the gulf that stretched on for miles ahead.

"Would you like me to walk with you?"

Hollyn looked over at the older man.

Bongani was a blessing that maybe she hadn't always appreciated the way she should, but she did now.

"That would be nice." She knew he wouldn't pressure her with conversation. In his quiet way, he'd let her set the tone. It would just be nice to have him beside her.

He grinned and came around to open her door.

As she'd predicted, Bongani was silent as they slowly trekked through the white sand for a good half mile. Wave after wave crashed on shore. Hollyn let her shoes dangle at her side, her fingers hooked through the laces.

It was unusually empty on the beach today, but she was grateful for that. Pausing, Hollyn turned and stared out at the water.

"I don't know what to do." The words slipped out. It felt both defeating and liberating to say that out loud.

"Don't you?"

The question surprised her. When she looked up at Bongani, kindness shone through his dark brown eyes.

"What is Holy Spirit saying to you?" He shot her a knowing grin. "Listen."

Hollyn chewed her bottom lip and squinted back out at the water. One name—one face—came to mind no matter how hard she tried to push it away.

Davis.

"I'm not positive he wants me." She lifted her shoulder in a one-armed shrug.

"Did he say he didn't want you?"

"Well . . . not in so many words. But if what was between us was real, why would he leave without me? Maybe all of it was just in my head. If he loved me, he would have told me. His actions could have been spurred on by the life-and-death situations we found ourselves in. Science has proven the effect that stress has on the brain. People don't think clearly."

A weighted sigh pulled from the tall man beside her. "You are a smart woman, Hollyn. But it is times like these that I believe leaving your head out of it would serve you better. Instead, let the Father guide you. As Jeremiah twenty-nine declares: ‘For I know the plans I have for you.'" Bongani looked down at her. "There is One who will never abandon you. One who has far greater plans than you have even for yourself. Trust that."

Her pulse ticked up as hope flared back to life. Another set of waves crashed into the sand in front of them. The salty scent of the water tinged the air.

She tried to be still. To listen. But she couldn't stop thinking about Davis. She was in love with him. It was that simple. If she never told him, she'd always wonder what could have been. Even the pain of hearing him say he didn't return the sentiment would be better than the not knowing. At least she'd have closure.

Hollyn nodded more to herself than anyone. Knew what she was going to do. "How do you always know what to say?"

Bongani scoffed softly. "Just take it from an old man. When the Spirit prompts, don't ignore it."

She nodded before grinning. Tapped her shoulder against his arm. "You're hardly an old man, friend."

Bongani laughed. "From your lips to God's ears. And may I live to see another seventy-five years."

"If you're seventy-five, I'll eat my shoe," Hollyn joked, holding up her sneaker.

He chuckled again, shaking his head. "Back to the airport, then?"

"Not yet." Hollyn took in a steadying breath. "I have some things I'm going to wrap up here first."

As much as she wanted to leave right this second, now that she wasn't fighting for her life, she would make sure the businesses that Dad had spent his life building were taken care of. Appoint people for the everyday running of Reinhardt Tech and hire movers for her things. But the moment that was done, yes, the airport was exactly where she'd be headed.

Bongani turned and started back the way they'd come, but Hollyn waited for a moment, eyes on the horizon.

"I'm going to be all right," she whispered to her parents, though she knew they couldn't hear her. Tears pricked her eyes. "No matter what else comes, I'm not alone in this world. I love you . . . always."