CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

WALKER

I feel awkward and out of place. Up until thirty minutes ago, I wasn’t sure I was going to meet Riley at her appointment. The asshole part of me didn’t want to.

Then I remembered I’m not an asshole. Save that for my father. He’s too greedy of a mother fucker to pass down that trait to me or even to Jackson.

I’m fifteen minutes early and tuck my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. My Boston Revolutions ball cap hides most of my face and makes me fit in among the loyal fans of the city.

When the automatic doors open and Riley steps into the lobby, I nearly lose my breath. Fuck. I do. Just for a second. I haven’t seen her in over a week. Somehow, she’s even more gorgeous than when she’d been made up to the nines and donning an expensive wedding gown.

Dressed in jeans that end at her shins and a long-sleeve, fitted bright blue top that makes her eyes pop, and a face free of makeup, she’s perfect. This is how I like her best. Well, naked is best, but that ship has sailed.

While I won’t begrudge my child, or ever make them feel unwanted, Riley’s trickery in getting pregnant shows a side of her I didn’t realize existed. Conniving, manipulative, dishonest. Those are qualities I don’t want in a partner. Qualities I despise.

My father may not be dishonest, but he is the other two. And a shit awful parent. I’m not going to trap myself in a relationship with anyone who has the slightest resemblance to him.

Riley notices me and does a double take. Her mouth turns up in a smile that quickly vanishes, as if she remembered she’s not supposed to be happy to see me. To be honest, I’m surprised she told me about her appointment.

“Walker,” she says as she crosses the lobby. “You’re here.”

“Did you not want me to be?” I snap, and immediately regret my tone.

She recoils and I can see her struggling with how to react. At the moment, I’m more upset with myself than her. My body continues to betray me by being mesmerized by her.

It’s purely physical. It’s my dick reacting, not my head. And not my heart. My heart has nothing to do with me being here.

“I’m glad you’re here, Walker.”

I nod and stare over the top of her head. With a quiet sigh, she turns toward the front desk. “I should check in.”

I take a seat in one of the waiting area chairs and take out my phone, pretending to be engrossed in it when she sits across from me.

Riley holds a clipboard and begins filling out information. A few minutes later, she looks up at me.

“Is it okay if I put your information down for an emergency contact?”

“I’m not an emergency contact for this baby. Unless you’re telling more lies, I’m the father. We should do a paternity test.” Fuck, I’m an asshole.

Riley doesn’t argue back, and I see her swallow before nodding. “If that’s what you’d like,” she says softly. “The emergency contact is for me.”

I don’t ask why she doesn’t put her father down. He’s never around, and even if he were, she’s told me about his depression since her mother died. She could put Kendall or Rowan, or even Jackson, but instead she wants me as her emergency contact. That shouldn’t make my chest tighten, but it does.

“Fine.” I go back to my phone, staring at the dark screen.

“It’s asking for your address.”

I give her my address in California and she writes it down.

“Will you be moving to Boston now that you signed with the Revolutions?”

My secret wasn’t destructive like hers. I’m not ashamed of keeping this from her, so I’m not sure why the tingling of guilt creeps up my spine. As soon as I push the guilt away, pride takes its place. She’s either seen the news coverage or searched me online. Either way, I shouldn’t like her interest in me.

While I don’t believe her to be a gold digger, she did trick me into getting her pregnant. The voice at the back of my head tells me there was no trickery involved and that it was pure happenstance, but I need to be angry at her. Which means I need to believe the worst.

It’s what got me through boarding school. Through college and graduation with no one in the audience to support me. Through every NFL game knowing every jersey with my name and number on it in the stands and at home on living room couches were worn by strangers who cared about me more than my own family.

I’m saved from answering her when a nurse calls her name. Riley stands and I remain sitting, not sure if I’m supposed to follow her or stay here. I’ve never been to a doctor’s appointment with anyone else before and have no idea what the protocol is.

She bites her lower lip as she stares down at me. “Are you, um, do you want to come with me?”

“Fine.” Anything more than one word will reveal my nerves. The way Riley folds her lower lip between her teeth tells me she’s nervous enough for the both of us.

Whether it’s because she doesn’t want to be around me or because of the nature of her appointment, I’m unsure. All I am sure of is how desperately I wanted this to play out differently.

“How are you feeling today, Miss Riley?”

“I’m feeling okay. And you can call me Riley.”

“Okay.” The nurse scribbles on her clipboard.

I stand to the side as Riley’s height and weight get measured, and we follow the nurse into a small room.

“You can keep your top on, but jeans and underwear off. You can drape this sheet over your lap while you wait for the sonographer.”

When we’re alone, Riley starts to unbutton her jeans. I stand in awe as she turns her back to me and slides them down. Her ass is as beautiful and soft and round as I remember. My dick twitches and I turn my head to read the poster on the wall behind me.

The inner workings of the vagina and uterus help tame the strain behind my zipper. Until I imagine my cock sliding in her pussy and ramming against her cervix.

The crinkling of paper tells me Riley has hopped up on the table. I don’t turn around until the sonologist enters.

“Hi, Riley. I’m Rebecca,” a petite woman says and shakes Riley’s hand. She looks at me, waiting for introductions.

I don’t speak, letting Riley take the lead. “This is Walker. He’s the baby’s father.”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” the technician says, giving me a polite handshake. “Is this your first ultrasound?”

Riley nods.

The technician washes her hands, snaps on a pair of latex gloves, then covers a wand with a condom and squirts lube on it. “You’ll feel a little pressure, but nothing more than inserting a tampon.”

“What the fuck?” I stare in amazement as the she begins to insert the giant fucking dildo inside Riley. “You can’t—”

“It’s okay.” She laughs. “I’m not putting it all the way in. Just the tip to do an internal ultrasound.”

Just the tip. Yeah. That’s how we got into this predicament.

She taps on a keyboard, and I can’t keep my eyes off where the paper gown has scrunched up, exposing Riley’s mound. When I realize I’m staring, I move my gaze up her bare stomach and stop at her face.

She nervously clutches at her shirt with her hands, and I can see the worry in her big doe eyes. This may not be how I envisioned my relationship with Riley, but I won’t make her go through this alone.

I move her hair from her face and brush my hand down the top of her head. She startles at my touch and I give her a soft smile. Riley practically melts, her body relaxing. We turn to the screen and I squint, trying to make out the grainy black and white stuff on the monitor.

“Do you see the baby?” Riley asks.

Rebecca squints at the screens, rotates the wand, taps on the keyboard, but doesn’t make eye contact. “I’m just taking a few pictures for your doctor. She’ll go over everything with you.” She’s professional and aloof.

Riley tenses. “Is everything okay?”

After a few more taps on the keyboard, the technician removes the wand and tears off the pictures coming out of the machine.

“I’ll give you a minute to get dressed and will bring you down to Dr. Nason’s office.” With that, the tech is gone.

With absolutely zero experience with any of this, I have no idea if this is normal procedure or if the tech is lacking personality. Not that I’m one to talk. When I’m working or working out, it’s game face on, friendliness off.

Riley slides off the table and crosses the room to take her jeans off the hook. I turn away while she gets dressed. When she’s ready, we leave the room and are guided to an office. Not an exam room, but an actual office.

“Hi, Riley,” the doctor, who I presume is Dr. Nason, greets her with a handshake. “Have a seat.” She motions to two chairs and I wait for Riley to sit before taking the chair next to her.

“This is Walker.” Riley folds her hands in her lap and doesn’t look at me.

“It’s nice to meet you, Walker. I’m Doctor Nason.” She shakes my hand and moves to sit behind her desk. Then, she returns her attention to Riley. “There’s good news and bad news.”

“Oh.” Riley whines and covers her mouth with her hands. “Is the baby—”

“Riley. There is no fetus.”

My chest squeezes around my lungs and Riley gulps in a loud, shaky breath “No...”

“You aren’t pregnant. Nothing happened to the fetus. You were never pregnant.”

“But...but I took four pregnancy tests. They all came out positive. I haven’t had my period in two months.”

“Stress, change in lifestyle, and hormones can mess with periods. And you’re not regular anyway. Your chances of getting pregnant are still the same as we’ve discussed over the years. There isn’t anything wrong with your one working ovary, and your uterus is in excellent condition.”

“I was never pregnant?” Riley lowers her hands to her stomach and drops her chin to her chest.

I should feel more relieved than I do. I didn’t want to have a baby anyway, but I see the anguish and pain in Riley’s face. When I reach across to take her hand in mine, she pulls away and stands.

“I’m sorry for wasting your time, Dr. Nason.”

“Riley, you’re not a waste of time. These things happen. False positives, false negatives. When and if you suspect you’re pregnant again, call the office right away and we’ll do a blood test.” The doctor rises and reaches for Riley’s hand and covers it with both of hers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t deliver the news you were hoping for. You’re young. And as we’ve talked about in the past, I don’t see any reason why you won’t be able to conceive when the time is right.”

The doctor gives me a sad smile and opens the door for us. I follow Riley down the long corridor and out to the parking lot. When we reach her car, I finally speak.

“I’m sorry, Ri—”

“No you’re not.” She spins around and jabs her finger in the air. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it Walker? For there to be no baby, or for a paternity test to show it was someone else's.”

“This pregnancy took me by surprise. I—”

“No fucking shit.” She laughs mockingly at me.

I’ve never seen her this way. Angry. Mad. Full of rage.

Hurt.

“Don’t pretend to be torn up over this or to even care a little about me. You made it abundantly clear what you think of me. I’m a liar. A slut. I trapped you into this non-existent pregnancy. Well, no worries, Walker Bankes. You’re free to fuck about the country. I won’t be tying you down to an unwanted child.”

She angrily rummages through her purse until she finds her keys. When she slides behind the wheel, she looks up at me with cold, vacant eyes.

“You’re free to go.”

I’m still standing in the parking lot, looking off into the distance minutes later after she’s gone.

I fucked up.

In a matter of weeks, my life flipped upside down. I had the most beautiful, kind, caring woman in my life. My brother reached out and wanted to rebuild our relationship. Which led to me learning about Riley’s lies.

For a hot minute, I was enraged.

Then Jackson’s confession, putting Riley back in my sights again.

Then the planned pregnancy. Or not planned. Fuck if I know.

And now, I’ve got nothing.

Riley is more a part of Jackson’s life than I am. If I work on my relationship with my brother, it means I’ll see more of Riley.

Now that I’ve lost her, I want her back. Maybe it’s a case of wanting what I can’t have. The chase of the woman.

I let out a deep sigh and cross the parking lot to my rental. No, it’s not the chase. I don’t chase after women. I don’t seek them out. I don’t look for their company or even desire it when I’m feeling lonely.

It’s one hundred percent Riley I want. Margaret Riley. My brother’s best friend. The almost-mother of my child.

Once I get my shit taken care of and move across the country, I’ll figure out a way to win her back. In the meantime, I’ll work on letting Jackson back in my life.