CHAPTER FOURTEEN

RILEY

After Kendall and Rowan showed up at our hotel room with my stuff I left at the church, they opened a bottle of champagne and celebrated while they poured me sparkling wine.

Or rather, they celebrated while I drank in confusion. I needed to talk to Jackson, but there was no way in Hell I was going to the country club. I hope to never see anyone in that church again, except our wedding party and Walker.

Walker.

I wanted more time to soak him in wearing a navy suit that molded to his frame with perfection. His gray button down was undone at the collar, and he didn’t sport a tie like every other male in the church.

The look of disgust, anger, and hurt he gave me all day yesterday was too much to bear. I couldn’t handle seeing it on him today, so I avoided his gaze as I made the walk of shame down the aisle.

I couldn’t care less what the three hundred guests thought of me. I only worried about Jackson and his future. If his asshole father would still hold his inheritance from him, and if Walker would reject rekindling their relationship.

I press my forehead against the side window in the backseat, thankful for the quiet Rowan and Kendall are allowing me. After they each enjoyed a glass of champagne, we packed up and headed back to Boston.

I’ve had thirty minutes of peace to wrap my brain around what happens next and am no closer to figuring it out than I was standing at the altar in shock.

“You don’t need to figure anything out today,” Rowan says from the front. She’s always able to read my thoughts. “Once Jackson puts out the fires in Rhode Island, I’m sure he’ll come by and you can sort it all out.”

I don’t see how he can help me with my conversation with Walker. He won’t even look at me. How do I tell him I’m pregnant with his child?

“And if you need help financially, I have investments I can cash out.”

“I could never ask that of you, Kendall.”

“Good thing you didn’t ask.”

“Well, I could never take your money.” It’s not like she’s independently wealthy, either. A teacher’s salary is barely enough to get by, and she recently moved back in with her mom to help care for her sister.

“I can—”

“Absolutely not,” I cut off Rowan. “You’re still paying off college loans. And even if you weren’t, it was hard enough for me to accept financial support from Jackson, who has billions to spare.”

“You know he’ll still hold true to his agreement. He’s the one who called off the wedding. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if you accept his financial offer.” Kendall turns into the parking lot behind my building.

Rowan turns in her seat. “Or you could come up with a payment plan. Accept a loan and pay it back when you can. I doubt he’ll charge you interest.”

“I appreciate the pep talk, guys, but my financial issues are actually the last thing on my mind.”

“We know. But we figured it was an easier topic to discuss than the other.” Rowan’s eyes lower to my stomach.

“I love you both, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me more than you can possibly imagine, but I need some alone time now.”

We exit the car and they engulf me in a group hug. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow.”

As soon as I’m in my apartment, I strip out of my jeans and sweater and run a bath. My tub is small and basic, but I don’t have the energy to stand under a shower.

While the tub fills, I pull dozens of pins out of my hair and wash the remnants of my makeup off. When the bubbles threaten to spill over the edge of the tub, I sink into the water and rest my head against the aging tiled walls and cry.

I cry harder because I don’t even know why I’m crying. Jackson sacrificed so much by letting me out of our marriage. He promised me last night that he’d figure out a way to fix all of this, but I don’t feel any better.

I’ve still betrayed a man I care deeply for. I’m still pregnant. I’m still alone.

When my eyes are drained from an hour of crying and my body is pruned from the water, I drain the tub and dry off. Wrapping myself in my thick robe I use in winter, I pad across my small studio apartment and plop down on the couch.

The slight change of scenery doesn’t do anything to help my sadness. I’ve been staring at my blank television for who knows how long when my doorbell buzzes. The girls promised not to bother me, and I highly doubt it’s my father.

He rarely stops by, and he didn’t even attend the wedding, which was fine with me. He texted me this morning from Kansas or Kentucky, I don’t remember, wishing me well.

The only other person who would stop by is Jackson. I push myself up from the couch and drag myself to the door, buzzing him up and unlocking the deadbolt. My legs are too weak to hold me up, so I go back to the couch.

When he knocks on my door a moment later, I call, “It’s open.”

“Do you always buzz people up and unlock your door without asking who it is?”

I snap my head around and stare across the room at Walker, aghast. “Walker? What are you doing here?”

I jump to my feet and his gaze immediately drops to my chest. I glance down and see where my robe has parted, exposing half of my boob. Quickly, I close the thick material and tighten the belt around my waist.

“How did you find out where I live?”

“Is that another secret I wasn’t supposed to find out about?” He narrows his eyes—which, after perusing my bare legs, are on my face.

“No. But I never told you where I lived.”

“Why is that?”

Because I was afraid letting you into my home would let you into my heart. Too late for that.

“We weren’t supposed to...”

“Bullshit.”

I take a step back. The only time I’ve experienced any anger from Walker was yesterday morning when he learned I was his brother’s fiancée.

“That first time, the night before your engagement party, sure. We were a one-night stand fuck.”

The harshness in his words and tone has me putting up my defenses. “Why are you here, Walker?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

No. Never. “I want to know why you’re here.”

“You know what first attracted me to you? After the physical aspects, that is. Why I came back to Boston and showed up at your work?”

I blink back the tears that are threatening to pool in my eyes and shake my head.

“Because I believed you to be an honest woman. I don’t find them often in my line of work.”

Hell, he’s never even told me what he does. Turning defensive, I square my shoulders. “Why are you so secretive and evasive about your job?”

Walker tilts his head slightly, still studying me with that intense stare of his. I’m used to being on the receiving end of it, but when we’re naked and in bed, and it’s followed up with kisses and orgasms.

This look is just as intense, but the outcome won’t be the same. Not with the way his jaw is set, and his hands haven’t unclenched since he stepped into my apartment.

“Don’t try to compare my job to a secret fiancée, Margaret Riley.”

I curl my lip. “No one calls me Margaret.”

“My father does. Your almost father-in-law.”

“In the ten years Jackson and I have been friends, I’ve met Sebastian and Lydia twice.”

“Yes. Let’s talk about him. My brother.”

My shoulders sag and I take a step back. When the back of my knees hit the cushions, my legs buckle and I drop onto the couch. I haven’t eaten all day, and with only a bottle of sparkling cider in me, and the combination of a hot bath and a bucket of tears, I’m weak and shaky.

Throw in being pregnant and...

I clutch the ends of my robe and pull them tight to my chest. Does he know? Somehow, he learned where I live. If he knows I’m pregnant and keeping that from him, it will only make him hate me more.

But now isn’t the right time. I’m too weak, too messed up, too scared to have this conversation with him. I haven’t even gone to my OBGYN’s office yet to confirm.

“I’m sorry I misled you, Walker. What happened between us...Jackson was aware the entire time. Not of your identity. I didn’t know you were his brother either, but he wanted me to continue...dating.”

“Is that what we were doing?” Walker lowers his huge frame into the small brown high-back chair across from me. “Dating?”

“I wanted to, but I didn’t want to.”

“Explain.”

I swallow and lift my gaze to his. “I didn’t want to get my heart broken.”

“But breaking mine was okay?”

The band around my chest tightens and I take in Walker’s countenance. He shows no emotion as he stares across the room at me. If I truly broke his heart, he’d be...what? He was angry to learn about me and Jackson, that was obvious and understandable.

But a broken heart?

I swallow the lump in my throat and tuck my legs under my butt. “I’m sorry for everything, Walker. Our...our time together was special to me. When we were together, I could forget about...about everything else. Yes, I was dishonest about agreeing to marry another man, but everything that happened between us was real.”

“If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have strung me along.”

I lower my chin and nod. “When you’d leave, or after our texts, the guilt was overwhelming. I started distancing myself from you because I realized how unfair I was being to both of us. On Wednesday, I didn’t go back to your hotel room because—”

“Because why?” Walker shoots out of his chair. “Were you planning on never talking to me again once you became Mrs. Jackson Bankes ? Or were you still planning on fucking me on the side when Jackson was with Taylor?”

My heart stutters in my chest. How the hell does he know about Taylor? If he does anything to jeopardize Taylor’s career...

Taylor is as innocent in this debacle as Walker is, even if he was aware of the plan.

“Walker. I—”

“Don’t.” He closes his eyes and turns his back on me. “You made a fool of me, Riley. And you’re still lying to me.”

Oh, God. My hands instinctively go to my stomach. He may be keeping his life from me, but it’s obvious he has money. And the Bankes name. If he uses that to take my baby away from me, I’ll die.

There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than to be a mother. To have a family.

I stand and start to walk toward him but stop myself. “You’re right. We have a lot to talk about. Tonight isn’t the time—”

“Fuck that, Riley.” He jumps from his seat and pierces me with his angry eyes. “Enough with the secrets. The lies. The bullshit. You were never planning on telling me about the baby, were you? You got yourself knocked up and now there’s no need for me anymore. You whored yourself out so you could get pregnant and never planned on telling me or whoever the fuck else could be the father that they have a kid. That was the plan all along, wasn’t it? You so readily spread your legs time after time, welcoming the sperm donor. You didn’t even bother to ask if I wanted kids. I don’t, by the way. Ever.”

My knees buckle and I fall forward. Walker is there before I hit the floor, gripping my arms and pulling me upright.

My eyes fill with tears, and I bite my lower lip to keep the anguish from escaping my lungs. The room spins and I sway to the side. He straightens me and loosens his tight grasp while still holding me up.

“Fuck, Riley. You’re pale as a fucking sheet. Sit.” He lowers me to the couch and I tip my head back and tremble as I fight the wave of tears and nausea.

Walker picks up my legs so I’m stretched on the couch, covers me with a blanket, and I hear him walk away.

He’s leaving me. I deserve this. His anger. His hate. His rejection. This time I don’t fight the tears and let them flow down my cheeks. I curl to my side and would sob if I had the energy. A shadow falls over me and I squint my eyes open to find Walker standing over me with a glass of water.

“Drink this.” My hand shakes as I reach for it. “Christ, Riley.”

For hands as big and calloused as his, he holds my chin tenderly, tipping my face up while he holds the water to my lips.

“When was the last time you ate?”

I swallow the water. “Last night.”

“You barely touched your fettuccini.” He sets the glass on the coffee table and strides into my kitchen.

I’m touched he got me a glass of water. I’m surprised he remembered what I ate—or tried to eat—last night. And I’m shocked he’s in my kitchen making me something to eat now. A few minutes later, he returns with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a paper plate.

“This is all I could find.”

“Thank you.”

I hadn’t stocked up on many groceries since Jackson and I were supposed to leave for Bermuda tomorrow. His insistence, as a honeymoon would be expected, and it was too hard to turn down a tropical vacation.

What I wouldn’t do to escape to Bermuda right now.

With Walker.

Walker, the father of my child. The man currently taking care of me. The man who my heart beats for.