Chapter 6

Chapter Six

L ila caught the tail end of Colby’s presentation. The new ambassadorship was another thing that had been thrust upon her and one more task Lila knew Colby felt obligated to take. Lila didn’t understand how she managed so many things and still prepared for her races.

Watching intently, Lila stood with folded arms as her shoulder rested against the conference room doorway. Her eyes narrowed as she zeroed in on Colby’s face.

She was stressed.

Most people wouldn’t be able to tell, but Lila could. Even though they were cousins, they were more like sisters.

Not only could she see the telltale signs of strain, but Lila had also never heard Colby speak so candidly to people outside their small circle of friends. She wondered if Colby was running out of fucks to give. The sooner, the better. For the most part, her cousin toed the company line and pushed for change when she saw an opportunity, all while trying to prove herself to men who didn’t think she belonged in the sport. Colby would always say, “They don’t have to like me, but as long as I win, they have to respect me.”

It made Lila angry just thinking about it. The lengths Colby went to and the hoops she jumped through after achieving so much success and still being considered less than was infuriating.

There wasn’t anybody Lila knew who could withstand that type of pressure. Colby had to be all things to everyone, and there wasn’t any room for mistakes. But watching her today, talking to the drivers of the future who would hopefully take the baton and run with it, gave Lila more of an appreciation of her heavy burden. Especially since all Colby wanted to do was drive.

Lila’s eyes followed the NASCAR handler as he walked over to the podium. The slight scowl on his face was an indication that he clearly didn’t like what her cousin had to say. He abruptly announced the conclusion of the workshop. That was Lila’s cue to make her way toward the front of the room.

Colby glanced up, and their eyes connected.

Colby held up a hand, extending her fingers, and mouthed, Five minutes . It was never five minutes. She would smile and sign autographs until the last person left the room. It would easily take another thirty. Lila knew that. She nodded and patiently took a seat in the front.

Her cell phone vibrated. When she pulled it out, a warm smile spread over her face at the name that popped up on the screen.

It was Brian. She had messaged him earlier, but he was just now getting back to her.

Lila: Dinner tonight?

Brian: Can’t. Will be later than usual. Raincheck?

This was par for the course since they reconnected after Colby’s first win. Lockwood Racing consumed so much of Brian’s time as he worked to establish himself and Lockwood as a premier team. Because of his hectic schedule, dating between them couldn’t be anything more than casual. Lila was disappointed but understood it wouldn’t be this way forever. Plus, it gave her time to focus on herself.

Lila typed into her phone.

Lila: Absolutely.

Brian: I really do want to see you.

Lila: Me too.

Brian: Feels like forever since I felt your body next to mine. Can you come over tonight?

Lila: (Laughing emoji) I was just with you last night. Miss you too but 2 nights in a row? Against the rules.

Brian: Your rules suck. Having a hard day.

Lila: Yeah?

Brian: Yeah.

Lila: Maybe I’ll make an exception. What time will you be home?

Brian: If I push, around eleven.

Lila: Hmm. I’ll let you know.

“You must be talking to Brian,” Colby said.

Lila didn’t even hear her walk up. She glanced at the time on her phone, and over thirty minutes had passed. “Why do you think I was talking to him?”

Subtly, Colby lifted a shoulder. “He’s the only one who makes you smile like that.”

It was true, but Lila wasn’t ready to admit it, even to herself. Instead, she changed the subject. “That was new up there.”

“What?”

“The detailed level of honesty.”

Colby waved a hand as if she didn’t care a bit. “They caught me at the right time, I guess. Bad day.”

“Brian said the same thing. What’s going on?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Not yet.”

“Levenson fell through.”

Lila was genuinely disappointed for them. She knew how important that deal was. “Damn.”

“Exactly. I’m so over it.” Colby glanced around the now mostly empty room to ensure she wasn’t overheard. “We need an infusion of cash.”

“You’ll get another sponsorship. An even better one.”

Colby hoped Lila was right. “Racing shouldn’t require all of this. How many top ten drivers have the same worries? Like, why am I in a tire commercial, but that same company won’t sponsor my team?”

Lila wrinkled up her nose. “Sounds like a bad agent/manager to me. Why wasn’t the deal reciprocal? Take less money up front for a sponsorship?”

“That’s a good question. I can’t be in all the rooms all the time.” Colby rolled her head around her shoulders to loosen up her muscles. “Why don’t you represent me?”

Lila laughed. “Because I don’t know anything about this kind of thing. I don’t have the relationships your management team has, and I’m still trying to figure out my own life. More importantly, I don’t want to hang from my cousin’s coattails.”

“That’s silly talk. You would be working, not mooching.” Colby was serious, even if Lila thought she wasn’t. “Can you at least talk to my business manager?”

“That’s Mark Kelp, right?”

Colby nodded. “Yeah, him. I swear I don’t have space in my head for the business stuff.”

“What questions would I even ask? Mark knows the industry. I’m sure whatever questions I put to him would be stupid. What about Liam? Why doesn’t he advise you? He’s pretty savvy.”

“He’s busy running his own businesses and already bailed us out once. I don’t want that to become a habit, and neither does Brian. Plus, Liam is the one who suggested Mark in the first place. Liam says he is one of the best.”

Lila had a flashback to the crisis PR guru, Brandy Coles, whom Liam hired before Colby’s first race. She was good at her job, just not good at managing Colby or Black people in general. That required a special finesse. “Hmm. You’re a unicorn. You’re occupying space that’s technically not meant for you. So, I would think you would need someone who is not just good at their job but understands the delicate nature of what’s happening.”

Colby almost burst out of her skin. “See! That’s why you need to be in the room. You understand the situation perfectly and could represent that missing piece!”

Lila stood up and waved her off. “I don’t even have my degree.”

“Neither do most of the smartest people I know, but you have something even better...my trust.”

Lila tried to smile at her cousin’s compliment, but not having her degree was a sore spot for her. She’d quit college after that horrendous incident with Anthony Luccesse.

Lila had been so traumatized that she couldn’t face anyone on campus, especially Brian. The more Lila thought about it, the more she knew that was the exact moment her life changed and began its downward spiral into chaos.

She couldn’t believe it had taken years and another equally crazy moment to knock some sense into her. She was just grateful Uncle Cyrus let her come back to the only place she’d known as home to lick her wounds and heal. Now that she had been home for a little while, she had enough time to catch her breath and reevaluate her life, and Lila wanted more for herself. She deserved more. But that meant she had to own up to her shitty decisions after shitty decisions and stop blaming her mother for being a shiny example of what not to do. Lila was a grown woman. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but her own that she’d screwed up her life so drastically.

She was trying to take full responsibility as she worked to put the pieces back together, which began with finishing her degree.

Lila had been working on that and had enrolled in online courses at U of I. It was an accelerated program, and if all went well, she would have her degree by the end of fall.

Lila wished she could help Colby but, honestly, didn’t think she had much to offer. At least not yet. “I think you’re in good hands with Mark. Just communicate with him a little more to make sure he understands where you’re coming from.”

For the second time, Lila changed the subject to something else that had been bothering her. “When was the last time you ate?”

Colby half-shrugged. “I had something earlier.” She couldn’t remember. “Honestly, I’m not hungry.”

Lila didn’t like that answer. Colby was a foodie. She was always on the smaller side but never this rail thin. She was getting too skinny. Colby drove cars for a living. She was not a model and shouldn’t look like one.

“I thought I was the professional model, well, ex-model anyway.”

Colby admired how unbothered Lila always seemed when it came to her physical appearance. She wished she could have an ounce of Lila’s confidence in that area. “Nobody would ever guess that you weren’t still in the game. You always looked good on the runway, on your magazine covers, and in person. My ass gotta work at it.”

“You’re not a model. You’re a goddamned superstar athlete! You don’t need to worry about that silly stuff. Even models shouldn’t have to worry about all of that. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. However, I do understand we can get self-conscious when the world starts to nitpick us for our looks. So, I’m here to tell you that you are perfect the way you are.”

Colby appreciated Lila for being the voice of reason. Still, if she could just lose another five to ten pounds, she’d feel a lot more confident, especially seeing herself on television.

“Anyway, it’s a good thing I stopped by. Let’s grab dinner. I need to make sure that you weigh enough so that you can keep your car from hydroplaning.” Lila laughed to soften her concern.

Her words brought a small smile to Colby’s face. “You’re describing lift-off oversteer, not hydroplaning.”

“Tomato...Tomaaato.” Lila giggled. “Anyway, since Brian is working late and Liam is traveling, it would be a great time for a girl’s night.”

“That’s why you came down? To invite me to dinner?”

“Actually, no, but that does remind me.” Lila dug into her large Birken bag. “Uncle Cyrus asked me to bring you the new alarm’s key card. He’s going to be at the garage late and won’t be home when you get there.”

“That’s where I should be too. I hate that we need more security. He’s too old for this shit.”

“A—you just said that you can’t be everywhere all the time at the same time, and B—if anyone can handle it, it’s Uncle Cyrus.” Lila asked again, “So, how about dinner?”

Colby’s shoulders slouched. “I can’t. I have a photoshoot after this, and then I need to go home and review tape.”

Lila frowned. “Photoshoot? Aren’t you racing this weekend?”

“Yeah.”

Lila was confused. “I thought your schedule was supposed to be cleared two days before a race so that you could focus?”

“It usually is, but Mark said this was the only time the brand could fit it in.”

Lila didn’t like the sound of that, but she didn’t say anything. “Mmm, okay.” She was liking Mark less and less. He was new to Colby’s management team, but the changes in her cousin were not impressive.

Colby had been so busy that Lila hadn’t spent as much time with her as she’d like. They talked almost every day but could go weeks without seeing one another in person. Lila wondered if it might be a good time to start paying closer attention.