Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
B rian couldn’t speak. His eyes were wide with shock. He wasn’t even sure he was breathing. “You can’t be serious.”
Liam wanted to burst out in a shout of victory until he saw Brian’s face. He wanted Colby out of racing but never really thought about how it might impact Brian.
Colby nodded. “Yes. I am. I can’t thank you enough for taking a chance on me, but I can’t continue to do this.”
Liam and Brian spoke at the same time. “Do what?”
For a moment, Colby closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “Liam, my father works for Lockwood.”
“He’s actually a partner,” Brian corrected.
Colby rolled her eyes. “Either way, he doesn’t know how to keep my professional and personal life separate, which is a conversation I plan to have with him later.”
“He just worries about you,” Liam countered.
“Be that as it may, I am a grown woman. I don’t need my dad telling my boyfriend my business as if you’re the boss of me.” Colby turned toward Liam. “Which brings me to my next point, I need to keep my racing career and my personal life separate. I can’t do that as long as I’m driving for Lockwood.”
Liam was confused. “What do you mean your racing career? If you leave Lockwood, doesn’t that mean you are retiring?”
Colby shook her head. “No. That’s not what it means.”
His jaw clenched in frustration.
“I will stay with the team long enough to help Brian find my replacement, but I plan to hire new representation and then find another team.”
Lockwood without Colby? It sounded blasphemous. Both Brian and Liam were left speechless. However, after a few awkward moments, Brian was the first to recover and break the silence. “I understand. I hate this, but I get it. You need more independence, and just like me, you have to find your own way.”
Colby was relieved that Brian seemed to be taking her decision better than she thought he would. However, her decision went down with Liam about as well as she had expected.
Frustrated, he paced back and forth. “I don’t.”
Brian took a step toward Liam, placing his hand on his shoulder to stop him. “I mean...yeah. I get it.” Brian tried to mediate the conversation because he knew Colby’s decision would be even tougher for Liam to deal with. “Living with a big personality like Liam ain’t easy. He’s so used to making all the decisions that it can be hard for him to step back and let you do things your own way.” Brian patted Liam’s arm. “It can be both a blessing and curse because he means well and, typically, is the smartest person in the room.”
Gently, Colby touched Brian’s arm. “Thank you for understanding, and although I may no longer be driving for Lockwood, we’ll always be family.”
Brian’s throat was thick. “This is going to be a huge change, and I won’t pretend to like it, but”—he turned to Liam, his words were meant more for him than Colby—“it’s imperative to have autonomy over your own life.”
Colby appreciated Brian more than even he knew. This was a big step for her, and while Brian might understand, it was clear that Liam didn’t. It was written all over his face. “Brian, can you give Liam and me a minute alone.”
He hesitated, then relented. “Yeah, I’ll be outside if you need anything.”
Colby followed him to the door and then closed it behind him. She pressed her palm flat against it before slowly turning around. “Liam, we need to talk.”
Liam watched Colby’s body movements and instinctively knew what was coming next. Maybe she was right. “You can’t be serious about leaving Lockwood.”
She wouldn’t make eye contact. Colby spoke softly, “I don’t want to talk about Lockwood. I want to talk about us.”
“They’re kind of interconnected.”
Sadly, Colby lifted her gaze to his. “And therein lies the problem.”
“Honestly, I don’t see the problem. You have people who you love and trust looking out for your best interest.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
Colby tilted her head slightly. “How many times have I gotten involved in your business deals?”
Liam thought about it. “That’s not the same, and you know it.”
“Liam! You’re not listening to me. Do you realize you saw the practice footage of my accident before I’d even seen it? And that my father had a discussion with you about it before talking to me? That is a problem.”
“He knows I care about you, so why wouldn’t we discuss it.”
“What if I didn’t want you to see it? Would that even matter?”
“Why wouldn’t you want me to see it?”
“You are purposely being obtuse.”
“You are purposely being stubborn.”
Colby needed to take another tack because Liam genuinely was not getting it. “Okay. Imagine you were working on a business deal, and it fell through, but the people on the other end of the deal decided to tell me all the reasons why before discussing it with you first.”
“They would never.”
“Exactly! My team should never discuss Lockwood business with you, and the entire team does it, from Gonzo to Brian to my dad. I don’t understand why you can’t see that as a problem.”
“I can’t protect you if I don’t know what’s going on.”
“What you’re doing is not protection. It’s control! You want to control me.”
“Bullshit. I want you to live long enough so that we can have a future. Maybe even a family. Earlier, you talked about having an X on your chest. Other teams are already gunning for you! You’ve proved your point. You’re a winner. You’re the first. You’re an incredible driver. Why can’t that be enough?”
Colby’s heart was going to beat out of her chest. “Because it’s not. You sound like you want me to quit altogether.”
“Probably because I do. I mean...you’re stressed the fuck out. You might be borderline anorexic, and you just almost killed yourself. What has to happen before you decide to leave this all behind?”
Colby felt as if he’d slapped her. “Wow! Borderline anorexic? That’s...wow.”
Liam had gone too far, but he needed Colby to understand the ramifications of her actions. He wasn’t trying to hurt her.
Liam reached out to touch her, but Colby drew back.
Her eyes were glassy from anger and unshed tears. “What you don’t seem to get is that I’m a James. For me, racing is more than just a career. It’s part of who I am. I thought you understood that.”
“What you don’t understand is that it’s hard to watch you deal with all of the bullshit that comes your way and how it’s mentally and physically affecting you. You’re literally wasting away before my eyes.”
Colby pressed her lips together. “I understand.”
Liam thought he was finally breaking through. “Do you? Do you really understand?”
She nodded. “I do. I’m not giving up racing, and you can’t deal with everything that comes with it, which means as much as we might love each other, we are at an impasse.”
Liam couldn’t believe Colby was being so pigheaded. “We are at an impasse?”
Her heart was breaking. Colby glanced away. “Maybe we need some time a part to figure things out.”
When they’d met, Liam had no idea how everything would play out. The world of racing was new to him. Being in an interracial relationship and dating a Black woman was also new. However, Liam could deal with the racism. He didn’t give a shit about racists, but how it was affecting Colby was a different matter. How was he supposed to protect and support her?
Every minute she was behind the wheel of a car, Liam feared for her life. Hell, when Colby wasn’t behind the wheel of a car, he was terrified some deranged fan or foe might hurt her.
Over the past year, Liam had had it with NASCAR and was ready to settle down. He had enough money for them to do whatever the hell they wanted. But at this point in Colby’s life, he couldn’t imagine her wanting to be married, having children, and just enjoying life. It was at this moment that Liam realized they weren’t on the same page and weren’t even close. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. His chest felt tight. The anger had left his body only to be filled with an overwhelming sense of sadness. “Maybe we do need to take some time apart.”
Holding back tears, Colby never could have predicted this was how her day was going to go. What was she supposed to do? She was angry that Liam was doing this to them. Why did she have to choose between her passion and the love of her life?
Liam stepped forward and leaned into her body before gently placing a kiss on her forehead. “Please take care of yourself.”
Colby stood as still as a statue as she watched him gather his things and walk out the door.