32. Jenner

Chapter 32

Jenner

"Save the icing for cupcakes, Knight! It's not doing you any favors in getting your tired ass off the ice!" Maddox barked from the bench as I gritted against the burn in my thighs after being stuck in the defensive zone for two minutes straight.

He was right. I was stuck out here after an icing because we couldn't change—that was the rule. But the Philadelphia Rebels could, and their fresh legs would be an advantage. It would be easier for them to skate around us, setting up plays while we were sluggish, moving in slow motion as we tried to stop them from scoring.

Putting my head down, I lined up for the defensive zone face-off. If we won it, we had a chance to clear the zone and get it deep into our offensive zone so we could get to the bench and let the next shift take over. If we didn't, the Rebels would be in prime scoring position.

This was Game 3 of the second round, played in Philly. We'd won both games at home but couldn't allow them to claw their way back into this series. The sooner we closed it out, the more time we'd have to rest before hopefully playing in the Eastern Conference Finals. We'd been there once before during my tenure with the Speed and were all itching to get back. Each game won was a step closer to winning a championship.

The ref dropped the puck, and I focused on tying up my man while Braxton battled against the Rebels' center, Riggs. Unfortunately, Riggs chipped it back to his defenseman, who walked the blue line—skating laterally along it—before finding an opening and pulling back for a slap shot. The time it had taken him to shoot allowed two of his teammates to block Goose's vision, and he was unable to see the puck as it sailed over his right shoulder and into the net.

The home crowd in Philly went nuts, and their victory song blared over speakers as our opponents skated to their bench for a line of fist bumps.

"Fuck!" I screamed, slamming my stick against the ice before skating to our bench.

Maddox's jaw was clenched, but he kept his comments to himself. He didn't need to say anything; I knew I'd fucked up by icing the puck prior to that face-off. I'd had the time and space to skate it to the red line before sliding it into our offensive zone, but I was so fucking tired my brain was mush. The only thing I could focus on in that moment was getting it out of the defensive zone so I could get a break.

Oh, I was getting my break now, all right. It just came at the cost of putting my team in a hole.

After dropping Game 3 to the Rebels, Maddox went hard on us in practice the following day. The main focus was special teams, as we'd had opportunities on the power play the night before but hadn't cashed in. Had even one of those resulted in a goal, we would have gone to overtime to determine the winner.

I was on the power play unit with three other forwards—Braxton, Asher, and Eli Clifford—while Wyatt Banks served as the sole defenseman. The objective was simple: use the man advantage to score a goal. Your opponent only had four skaters, so they couldn't guard all five of you. Passing was key, finding the open man while keeping the other team guessing and preventing them from boxing us out. But ultimately, you wanted to get quality shots on goal. Hell, at this point, with how poorly we'd executed our power play, getting pucks to the net was more vital. Even if a goalie blocked a shot, there was always the chance of scoring on a rebound.

The old adage was that championships were won in practice; you only collected them at games because you should be practicing how you expected to play.

Well, if that were true, we wouldn't be winning a championship anytime soon. Or at least, I wasn't.

Pucks were bouncing right off my stick and onto the penalty kill team's, for them to shoot it down the opposite end of the ice—icing rules didn't apply during a power play for the team down a man; it was the most effective way to kill them by wasting time.

I was struggling, plain and simple, and everyone could see it.

Asher pulled me aside during a water break because he could tell my off-kilter performance stemmed from deeper issues.

"You doing okay?" he asked before squirting a long stream of water into his mouth.

"Yeah, can't seem to get the puck to stick today."

"You sure it's got nothing to do with worrying about your girls back home?" Asher challenged. When I merely grunted in response, he continued, "I get it, man. It's hard for your head to be in the game when you're thinking about your family. And you're dealing with a double whammy. First off, you've got a newborn at home, causing you to suffer with the dad guilt of being on the road. Then throw in the pregnant wife and the uncertainty of when she's gonna pop out a litter, and your stress levels are probably high enough to give you a stroke."

Tilting my face skyward, I blew out a breath. "I've already been pulled off the bench once to rush home and head straight to the hospital. But this time is different." I swallowed. "It's Evie."

"I know." He placed a gloved hand on my shoulder.

"Maddox keeps asking how he can help—well, when he's not barking up my ass to quit fucking up—but short of making me a healthy scratch for every away game from here until the end of the season, there's nothing he can do. And even if that was an option, I've made a commitment. I'm the leader of this team, and I set the tone. The world doesn't stop because my personal life is weighing too heavily on my mind."

"Don't forget you've got allies back in Indy who are ready and willing to step in if you need anything. Tessa and Evie have grown close, and I know my girl would do anything for yours. So, even if it's someone to hang out with so she doesn't go stir-crazy, hit me up. And then, there's Dakota, who is a total night owl when we're on the road. I'm sure she wouldn't mind writing at your house if you're worried about Evie being there alone without the nanny around at night."

I groaned. "Fuck, Asher. I'm still trying to recover from finding her passed out in the middle of the night after coming home from the road."

He cringed. "Sorry. Just going off of what I'd be thinking in your shoes."

"You're right. She probably shouldn't be alone at night right now. Just in case. My mind's been racing constantly, and that one slipped through the cracks."

Asher chuckled. "Glad something good came from our little chat. But seriously, don't be afraid to ask anything you guys need."

"Thanks. Appreciate it."

I had no idea how I was going to survive until the season ended or the babies were born—whichever came first.

"Knight! McCall wants to see you when we get back to the hotel." Maddox stepped into the locker room to convey that message before turning on his heel and walking right back out.

Great. That's just what I need.

Jared McCall was the Speed's general manager. A former player and champion, he knew the game well, and it had worked in his favor when taking on the role of a team builder. He'd been smart about drafting prospects with unrealized potential in later rounds that had led to our current success and future potential as a team. We had our star power, but we also had a strong backbone; our third and fourth-line guys were solid. They could battle it out with the top lines of our opponents, and you needed every line working to secure a championship—hockey was not a game of individuals.

If he wanted to see me personally, I could only imagine it had something to do with my subpar play as of late. My team looked to me to lead by example, but I was failing spectacularly. A ship without a vigilant captain was sure to sink.

Resigned to having my ass handed to me by the man in charge, I knocked on the door to his hotel suite once the team bus brought us back after practice.

I was prepared to be a yes-man, agreeing with every point McCall made because I didn't have a valid excuse for my mind being elsewhere. Players had pregnant partners and babies at home all the time, and it didn't impact their play. They could compartmentalize and do their job—something I had been good at doing until recently.

So, it took me entirely by surprise when he opened the door with a smile, exclaiming, "Jenner, you made it!" Stepping aside, he offered, "Why don't you come in, and we can talk."

Eyeing him, confused as to why he was in such a chipper mood when I'd been playing like shit, I crossed the threshold before awaiting further instructions.

The door latched behind me, and Jared gestured toward a small seating area. "Let's sit down."

Nodding, I dropped onto one of the armchairs. Jared sat opposite me and reclined, propping one foot on the opposite knee.

"How's Evie holding up?"

The man had four children; of course, he would ask about my pregnant wife.

There was a tension that never quite left my body when we were on the road. Not lately, at least. Thoughts of her, our newborn daughter, and unborn sons were constantly on my mind, setting me on edge at the idea of something happening while I traveled.

Sighing, I replied, "Exhausted, as I'm sure you can imagine."

"Of course." He nodded. "Our middle girls are twins, so I've been in your shoes. If you think it's tough now being on the sidelines, just wait. The chaos is coming. Our oldest son was four when the girls were born, so I can't imagine handling three babies so close in age."

"We've been extremely blessed." Even though we were in a difficult situation at the moment with me having to be away, I couldn't deny that we'd been handed the opportunity to have an instant family. Our lives would be full of love and laughter with our three children.

"That you have," Jared remarked. "Which is why I asked you to meet with me today."

My eyebrows raised, my curiosity piqued. "Yeah?"

"I want you to know that you and your family have the full support of the Speed organization. While I know it's difficult to be away with the uncertainty surrounding when Evie will deliver, we want to alleviate some of the stressors that accompany traveling with the team during this time."

"Because I've been playing like shit," I muttered, peeking at my lap.

Jared barked out a laugh, and my head snapped up. "Why don't you pull up my stats from the time before my girls were born? They aren't pretty. You don't have to explain yourself to me. And it's why I'm offering my help."

"Help how?"

"For starters, from here until the end of the Speed's run in the playoffs, whenever we travel—wherever we travel—there will be a private plane on standby to get you home as quickly as possible if the need arises. I know it's only a small comfort, but it could cut hours off your travel time compared to dealing with commercial flights last minute."

He had a point there. I hadn't been able to get a direct flight from New York to Indy when Hope was born, and that had tacked on an additional two hours. I would never forgive myself if I missed the birth of my sons and wasn't there to support Evie in that moment.

"That's very generous." I ducked my head.

"Maddox can be a bit of a hardass, but he agreed that you needed some peace of mind. He's always looked out for you."

Chuckling, I replied, "Yeah, he's okay some of the time."

"Which is why we've also arranged for a chef to prepare dinner in your home for the duration of the season. Having a newborn is challenging and time-consuming, and can often mean a momma forgets to eat. Let us take that worry off your plate. Every day, Evie will have nutritious food to eat while she cares for your daughter and continues growing your sons. How does that sound?"

I was at a loss for words. "Jared, this is too much."

He shook his head. "I wish I could do more. You've been an incredible asset to this team for years and seamlessly stepped into the role of captain when Maddox could no longer play. We owe you a debt of gratitude for your years of service and continued commitment to making our team better. Your family is our family, and we take care of our own. No exceptions."

"Thank you. I don't know what else to say because that almost doesn't feel like enough."

Jared smiled. "It's not anything more than someone once did for me a long time ago, and I never forgot it." He stood, making it clear that our meeting was over.

He walked me to the door, but before he opened it, he asked, "You've been doing the belly lift trick with her, right?"

I tilted my head. "What?"

Stepping back, Jared demonstrated with an imaginary partner before explaining, "You stand behind her and lift her belly up from below. Takes tons of pressure off her hips and lower back. Give it a try when you get home. Give your girl a little relief while she's carrying the entire load, yeah?"

Dazed, I stared at my GM. "Thanks for the tip."

Moving closer, he clapped me on the back. "Anytime. Buckle up, though, Jenner, because you're about to go on one hell of a ride."

I wouldn't argue with him there. Life was coming at us faster than we could have ever imagined, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Home at last, I was surprised to find all the lights on inside the house upon arrival. Stepping through the rooms, it didn't take long to discover why.

Like angels, both my girls were passed out in the living room with the TV still on.

Hope was in her bouncer beside the coffee table, and Evie lay on her side on the couch.

Taking a seat on the coffee table, I leaned forward to brush some of the blonde hair off Evie's face.

"Hey," I whispered. As much as I hated to wake her when she was finally catching some rest, I knew she would be extra sore tomorrow if I left her here.

Black eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks a moment before hazy purple eyes peered at me. A smile curved on her plush lips when she focused enough to see who had woken her.

"You're home." Her twang was more pronounced when she was groggy, and it did things to me, but I told my dick to calm down. There would be no hanky-panky until our boys were delivered safe and sound.

"Mmhmm." I softly stroked the curve of her cheek with the pad of my thumb.

"Did you win? I tried to stay up, but—" Evie let out a soft sigh. "I just couldn't keep my eyes open a minute longer."

"Yeah, baby, we did. One more to go, and we're in the Conference Finals."

"That's good." Her eyes drifted closed again.

"Why don't we get you up to bed? I bet your pillow is waiting for you."

"Stupid fuckin' pillow," she grumbled.

I bit back a laugh. To this day, she still couldn't admit it helped to have the pregnancy pillow supporting her back while the other side tucked between her knees alleviated her hip pain. But she wouldn't be the stubborn woman I married—twice—if she ever said I was right. And God knows I loved her for it.

Slipping an arm beneath her shoulders, I eased her into a sitting position, even as she whined, eyes still shut. A wrinkle formed between her brows, and she shifted. "Dammit. Now I have to pee."

"Sounds about right." I tried and failed to keep the smile from my voice.

The tiniest hint of purple was visible from her thinly cracked eyelids. "Glad my misery amuses someone."

Kissing her forehead before standing and offering her a hand up, I replied, "You know I hate seeing you uncomfortable. Just thought it was a given that any time you wake up at night, you'd need to go to the bathroom, so it was kinda funny that it seemed like you were surprised by it, is all."

Evie stifled a groan as I tugged her from the couch.

"I'm gonna get Hope settled. You okay to make it to bed? Or do you want me to tuck you in first?"

Rolling her eyes, she waddled past me in the direction of the downstairs powder room. "Take care of our daughter, but if I'm not up there in ten minutes, it's because I fell asleep sitting on the toilet."

I placed a hand over my mouth, my body vibrating with the force it took to hold back laughter. I could respect she wasn't in the mood, but the mental image she painted was too much.

Once Evie was out of sight, I scooped up Hope, who only let out the tiniest whimper at being moved. Not knowing how long she'd been out, I was careful not to wake her as I transferred her to her crib and turned on the white noise machine.

For a while, I rested my forearms on the crib rail and simply stared at her. I still couldn't get over how stunningly perfect she was. And it almost felt like she'd changed in the four days I'd been away. I wanted time to slow down so that I could memorize every moment of her being this little, but I knew that's not how it worked.

How many times had my parents said when we were growing up that it was over in a flash, and they couldn't believe how fast the time had flown between when they'd brought us home from the hospital and when they'd watched us embark on our adult lives? When you were younger, you thought they were full of shit because it was crawling by for you, but I finally got it. They'd been right all along.

"You gonna stare at her all night, or you comin' to bed?" Evie's tired voice reached my ears, and I turned to find her standing at the door to the nursery.

"Coming, babe. Just missed her and wanted to soak up a few extra minutes, even if she's asleep."

"Not even two months old, and she's already got you wrapped around her little finger," she teased.

"Guilty." I rose to my full height and made my way over to where my wife stood. Cupping her face, I leaned in to whisper against her lips, "I have a soft spot for the beautiful girls in my life."

Evie let out a stuttered breath, and I took that opportunity to kiss her long and slow. My love for this woman had never dulled, even during our time apart, and if possible, it had blossomed even further since her return.

I swallowed her moan, but when she used both hands to shove against my chest, I stepped back, breaking our connection.

Fingers pressing against kiss-swollen lips, she chided, "Not fair, Jenner."

"I know." I blew out a breath. She wasn't the only one who was sexually frustrated at the moment. "Let me make it up to you."

Arching an eyebrow, she folded both arms over her chest. "And how do you expect to do that?"

Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guided her from our daughter's nursery, silently latching the door behind us. Once we entered our master suite, I pulled her into my arms and spun her around until her back was pressed to my chest.

Evie turned her head to peek back at me. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see." I pressed my lips against the skin of her neck.

Lately, she hated fabric rubbing against her belly, so at home, she usually only wore cotton shorts and a sports bra, and tonight was no exception. I skimmed my hands along the bare sides of her swollen stomach, and she jumped in my arms.

"Your hands are cold."

"I'm sorry." Immediately, I moved to pull my hands away, but she reached up to place hers atop them.

"No, I'm hot all the time, so it feels nice."

"Oh, good." Reaching lower, I cupped the underside of her belly and gently lifted.

Evie immediately melted in my arms, her muscles relaxing as she leaned into my hold. "Holy shit," she breathed out. "What kind of magic is this?"

"You like it?"

"Like it?" she huffed. "Babe, forget sleeping tonight because I'm gonna need you to do this all night. Where has this been all my life?"

All of my tension slipped away, at finally being able to give her some relief. I'd felt helpless for most of her pregnancy, so if I could do this one small thing to help ease her pain, I would happily do it for as long as she liked.

"Little trick Jared McCall told me about the other day. Said it helped his wife."

While we gently rocked from side to side, Evie moaned. "Jared is my new favorite person."

I let out a near-silent laugh. "That's not all."

"Oh, yeah?" Her voice took on a faraway quality, like she was falling into a dream state.

Nuzzling the top of her head, I explained, "He's got a jet on standby for when the team travels, in case I need to get home in a hurry."

"That's nice of him."

"On top of that, he's got a chef coming in to make dinner for you—for us—for the rest of the season."

Evie simply hummed.

Since she was so relaxed, I decided to push my luck.

"I was thinking . . . I don't love the idea of you being here alone when I'm gone. Maybe we call in one of the moms to come visit and keep you company?"

Groaning, she pulled from my hold and turned to face me. "We have Emmy."

"We do," I agreed. "But she's not here at night. And her job is to take care of Hope. I want someone here to take care of you."

Evie threw both hands on her hips, temper flaring. "I'm not a child."

"Never said you were, honey. But I worry. And I'm struggling with it to the point where it takes up all the space in my mind when I can't be here. It took ten years off my life when I found you unconscious in this very room only a few months ago. I just want to know that, should anything happen, someone is here to help you until I get home."

She must have seen the anguish on my face at that memory because she finally relented. "Okay."

"It's up to you who we fly in to help out. I know your mom is set to come in late June anyway, so we can bump up her ticket. Or we can bring in mine until the end of the season."

"You boys set to win it all this year?" my wife asked, a hint of challenge in her tone.

"That's the plan."

Nodding once, Evie declared, "Then call your mom. I'm sure she'd want to be around to watch her boy raise the trophy."

"I'll do that first thing tomorrow."

I stepped closer, helping to ease her onto the bed and position her in a way that she was most comfortable before sitting on the edge. Leaning over, I pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Get some rest." Then I shifted until my mouth hovered directly over her belly, whispering, "You too, boys. Let your mama sleep."

Evie's hands tangled in my hair, an expression of pure love on her face when I peeked up. As long as my family was safe and sound, I would want for nothing else in this life.