Chapter 15

T hree days. That's how long we've been at this cabin and tensions are running high. Grace has begged to go outside and play in the snow and I think I've said no about a million times. I'm not trying to be a dick but I don't want to take any risks until I hear back from someone in the office about leads. It's best if we stay inside, which means movies and board games galore. Trust me, I am going absolutely insane as well, and have contemplated saying fuck it and letting us all go outside for just a little bit. It's tempting, very tempting. Especially considering how secluded we are here.

"Any update on when we can leave?" Illeana questions softly, startling me from my thoughts.

Last I checked, both girls were having a Christmas Chronicles movie marathon in the living room. I decided to leave them to it and head to our secure room and do some research. I left the door open to keep an ear out in case the girls needed me for something, though that rarely has been the case since they've been here. I never thought that Illeana would come to find me while I was back here.

"Waiting to hear back from the office now, but not yet," I answer after a moment. Senator Granger had wanted me to keep details to a minimum if the girls asked questions. I'm still not fully on board with the plan. I believe that people should be aware of exactly what is going on. Withholding or lying doesn't allow a person to protect themselves.

"I hate to ask again, but," she pauses and fiddles with her hands. "Can we go outside today? Just for five minutes, even. We need fresh air, and we're going stir-crazy. And before you say open a window, we've done that. It's not the same. I can't handle staring at these same walls much longer."

As soon as I open my mouth to answer, a ding chimes from the computers behind me, pulling me back to what I had been working on. "Shit!" I swear looking over the notification. This was not what I was hoping to get back. Just for once, I would like to feel like we have some idea of what is going on. This running in circles and finding no answers is going to drive me up a wall. There has got to be something that we are missing.

"What? What is it?" Illeana inquires. She must have moved further into the room when I turned to look at the computer because when I turned around to face her, she was practically right behind me.

"No good leads yet on who is behind everything." Her eyes flash with hurt at my answer but she covers it quickly. I know she doesn't want to be here, especially stuck here with me. We've done a good job at ignoring one another and keeping our distance for the most part, despite the fact that I keep feeling drawn to her.

"Okay," she sighs. "I'll go let Grace know that we can't go outside yet." Her voice is almost a whisper as she stares at her feet and takes a couple of steps back toward the door. Her shoulders are dropped and I can see just how disappointed she is.

Fuck! Sighing, I shake my head, knowing this is a bad idea. I literally was just thinking about all the reasons that we need to stay inside, but I hate seeing her like this. I feel like I need to see her smile right now. Even if we are out in the middle of nowhere, we theoretically should be safe. This is such a bad idea. "Five minutes. I go with you both, and you stay in my sight. No yelling either."

"Thank you!!!" She gives me a bright smile and spins on her heel. "Grace! We get five minutes. Grab your shoes and coat!"

I really hope this doesn't bite me in the ass.

"I didn't know baking required so much noise," I state, walking into the kitchen after a quick shower. I let the girls play outside in the snow for almost an hour instead of the five minutes I promised them. I couldn't tell them to come inside when I saw how much fun Grace was having. Even Illeana had a smile on her face. She was happy, they both were. If Knox and Trevor ask, I'm not telling them that I let the girls outside just yet, because I don't want to get the lecture I know they will give me.

"Have you never baked before?" Grace gasps as if I offended her. She spins to look at me and manages to fling flour everywhere, forgetting that she was holding a measuring cup full of it.

"Uh... no. I can’t bake to save my life. But, you give me a steak, and I can even make a baby love it," I shrug, not really bothered by it. Emma always bakes everything now, so I don't see the need. If I really want something and she doesn't want to bake it or hasn't, then I just go to the store and buy it.

"You can join us if you'd like. But be ready for some bad Christmas music singing and flour everywhere," Illeana offers with a chuckle from the other side of her sister. She isn't wrong about the mess if the flour on her cheek is anything to go by.

As for the Christmas music... "Oh, is that what that horrible singing I heard earlier was? I thought it was an animal dying," I joke, stepping further into the kitchen to be on the opposite side of the island from them. I'm hoping a little distance will keep me safe from their flour mess. I also have no intention of helping. The last time I helped bake something in this kitchen, I ended up with a bowl of flour on my head. I'm not a baker but I will eat all the baked cookies and if given the option I'll even lick the bowl and spoon when they are done. It is the best part after all.

"Horrible! Excuse me!” Grace sasses, a hand on her hip as she glares at her sister. "I'm part of the school choir. I am not a horrible singer! I was even supposed to have a solo until you dragged us here! So, I suggest you change your sentence!"

Oh, man. Grace looks like she is about to lose her shit. I'm really glad that glare is not pointed in my direction. "What about your sister?" I ask with a smile, trying to ease a little bit of the tension that now picked up in the room. I keep my attention on Grace to avoid the glare Illeana is now giving me for teaming up with her sister.

"Ehh, she could use some work," Grace answers, her glare disappearing as she turns to answer me.

"Can we get back to these cookies please," Illeana asks. "Steel, if you aren't going to help, you can just leave."

Well now. Someone is a little testy now that I teamed up with the little one I see. "Oh, I'll help you," I answer, dropping my voice as I look at her. "I'll be your taste tester."

Illeana rolls her eyes but doesn't remark. I watch on as both of them work to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and a batch of peanut butter cookies from scratch. I didn't even know we had all these ingredients here but I guess Emma must have stocked the cabin up when the decision to bring the girls here was made. Whether she knew that one or both of them knew how to bake is a different story. Either way, I'll take it as a win because I got to have the bowl after the chocolate chip cookies were done so I was happy to watch them work.

"Where do babies come from?" Grace turns to question me right as the last tray of cookies is placed into the oven.

I begin to choke on the cookie batter I just put in my mouth as Illeana almost shuts her hand in the oven at the same time. That was a question I was not expecting her to ask, especially out of the blue the way that she did.

"Uhh," I pause trying to figure out how in the hell I'm supposed to answer this question. I have not been trained on how to handle this conversation or anything related to it. I mean how much is a twelve-year-old supposed to know? I don't remember what the hell they were teaching us in school at this time. The only kids I've been around are Emma's daughter Alexis, who isn't asking questions like this, and both of Rachel's kids, who know way more than they should for their ages. I look to Illeana in a panic hoping she knows how to answer this question and save both of our asses.

Illeana turns and glares at me. I'm pretty sure she would kill me right now if she could for this since it's clearly my fault for making the comment earlier in the afternoon. "Grace," she calls out so her sister turns to look at her and not me. "Why are you asking this?"

"Steel said he can make babies earlier and I wanted to know how," she shrugs like it's no big deal.

"Well, babies are made when a boy gives you a gift and you hold on to it for a long time," Illeana answers hesitantly. I can tell she is hoping that Grace won't ask any follow-up questions and will just leave the topic alone for now.

"Huh. Okay." With that Grace turns and walks away heading to the living room where I hear the television turn on.

"Well, I guess that answered her question," I chuckle glad that was the end of it.

"This is your fault," she glares pointing a finger at me. "You need to watch what you say to her. She's a kid, a very smart one at that who wants to know everything," she hisses at me. I'm pretty sure she'd be throwing something also if she could.

"I didn't think she'd question it. It was just a comment," I retort, annoyed she's yelling at me for this. It was a harmless mistake. It could have happened to anyone.

"That's your problem, Steel. You don't think. You need to with kids," she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm going to see what she's doing. Can you take the cookies out when the timer beeps please? You can leave them on the tray and I'll take care of it when I start to cook dinner."

"Okay," I answer, not wanting to push the subject any further. "Don't worry about dinner. I'll make spaghetti tonight if that's good with you. Just keep it simple." I'm pretty sure the kitchen is probably the safest place for me right now. Far away from both of them so Grace can't ask me any more questions that I'll definitely answer wrong in Illeana's eyes, and so I can't manage to piss Illeana for just existing.

"Sure, you can cook tonight. The cookies, Steel, don't forget them," she demands before turning and leaving the room.

Maybe one day I'll be able to do something right in her eyes. Ugh, Why do I even care?

"So clearly you can cook more than steak, Steel," Grace laughs, shoving the last bite of pasta into her mouth.

"Why yes I can, thank you," I chuckle, grateful for the compliment. At least someone in the house still likes me.

"Don't let the compliment inflate your ego, Steel," Illeana retorts, rolling her eyes. "You managed to not burn the pasta so I'll take that as a win for you. And since you cooked, then I'll do the dishes." I watch her as she rises and begins to collect our empty plates before coming back to get the last of the noodles and sauce sitting in the middle of the table.

I don't move, instead choosing to watch Grace shove a slice of garlic bread in her mouth and try to talk around it asking me a question I can't make out to save my life. "How about some English? I don’t speak bread. Let’s try that again?" I chuckle.

Swallowing, she laughs and re-asks the questions. "What gifts do guys give?"

"In what sense? Like for Christmas and birthdays?" I've learned with her to ask for clarification rather than just answer right away. There is no way I want to make the same mistake I did earlier and get myself yelled at again, though I'm sure it's going to happen.

"Well if babies come from a gift that boys give to girls, what kind of gift is it?t?" Her face is serious and I can tell she isn't going to drop this subject.

Well, fuck. Illeana may just very well kill me tonight. Murder me in my sleep and bury my body out in the woods where no one will find me until the snow begins to thaw in spring. I guess it'd be a hell of a way to go after the life I've lived. I'm pretty fulfilled. There are still things I would like to do with my life, but fuck it, here we go.

“Well, girls have eggs,” I start hesitantly.

“What kind of eggs? Like chicken eggs ? Where?” Grace interrupts.

Taking a deep breath, I reply, “Not quite like chickens, the eggs stay inside you, you don’t lay them. Girls are born with eggs.” Oh lord this is going to be a long explanation. Illeana is going to kill me, here we go. “Boys have tadpoles and they will give you some tadpoles when they like you. The tadpoles will try to get inside the eggs and once inside, they make a home there. The baby is created when the tadpole moves in.” Grace giggles as I wiggle my fingers at her.

"STEEL!" Illeana screeches as she walks back into the dining room in the middle of my explanation. "She's too young to know anything about that! You had no right to answer and should have told her to ask me whatever it was she asked you!"

During her outburst at me, the strap of her tank top slid down off her shoulder and I couldn't move my eyes away. The more she's been here, the more I've seen of her, especially her skin and it's drawn me in. It looks so soft and I want to touch it, touch her. Clearing my throat, it takes everything in me to pull my eyes away from her shoulder and up to her eyes. "I'm trying my best here, Illeana. She asked me a question and I was answering it the only way I could and trying to keep it kid appropriate. Wouldn't you rather her be informed instead of going and asking someone else questions or getting misinformation from somewhere?" I don't think arguing back with her is going to win me any points but I'm also not going to not defend myself. I let her be mad at me earlier, and she can be mad at me now also, but oh well. Shit happens.

"Grace, go upstairs and get ready for bed," Illeana demands in a controlled tone. I can tell she is barely holding on and trying not to lose her shit on me right now. "Now, Grace," she growls. Even Grace can tell her sister isn't in the mood and scoots her chair back to stand. She doesn't say anything to me but does give me a sad smile before moving to the stairs and going up them. She doesn't stomp her feet like I would suspect a kid to do, but I could tell she wasn't happy about being dismissed the way she was either.

"You do not get to choose what she can and can not know, Steel," Illeana snarls as she moves to the couch and grabs a blanket off the back. She wraps it around herself covering her shoulders hiding the skin she allowed me to see. Well damn, I was enjoying the sight while getting berated.

"Is there anything I can do right in your eyes?" I ask, wanting to know if I stand a chance here.

"No," she snaps quickly. "Leave my sister to me. Your job is to guard and protect us. Leave it at that."

"Got it, Princess," I retort, rolling my eyes. "I'll defer all questions to you from now on."

"You can finish cleaning up. I'm going to make sure Grace doesn't have any questions or trauma from your answer." She doesn't give me a chance to argue, instead following her sister upstairs and out of sight. Once again I'm left doing the dishes and cleaning up. I'm starting to see a pattern here when it comes to Illeana. Just when I thought I had earned some points with letting them go outside, she was quick to remind me that wasn't the case at all.