14. Sunny

CHAPTER 14

Sunny

“ S o, let me get this right,” I said, pouting. “Yesterday, you woke me up at four o'clock in the morning. Today, you're going to make me stay up past midnight. Are you trying to ruin my circadian rhythms?”

Gray smiled. The three of us were sitting around the breakfast table discussing our plans for the day, and I wondered if there was ever anything so perfect in the whole world.

“Maybe,” he responded with a raised brow. “Or maybe I'm working around my shifts so I can spend more time with you.”

“Okay, but now that I know you own the airport, you could just... not do that.”

Gray’s face was the picture of confusion. “What do you mean, ‘not do that’?”

“When you own the place, you get to decide when you show up.”

“Sure, but when planes start falling out of the sky, people are going to ask questions.”

I smirked. “Oh, I didn’t realize that you were the only thing keeping the planes in the sky above Christmas Falls.”

Baz snorted into his morning coffee. “Don't let him give you shit, Gray. This is a man who has an entire wardrobe at his office because he spends the night there about as often as he goes home.”

“But I’m moving to Christmas Falls because I don’t want that life anymore,” I protested.

Gray reached for my hand. “So...you are officially moving to Christmas Falls?”

My lower lip twitched. “Well, yeah. You're here.”

“Oh my God.” Baz pressed the back of his hand to his forehead for maximum dramatic effect. “You two are going to get gross all over again. I need to find a different place to stay next time I come here. I can’t handle this.”

“You could stay in the airport lounge,” Gray said, grinning at my brother.

Baz shook his head. “Actually, I was thinking about taking off for Paris a bit early. The team wants to get going on January second, and I don’t want to get there and feel like I’m already behind.”

Baz and I rarely spent Christmas together, so that shouldn’t have been so disappointing, but it was.

I wrinkled my nose. “But I wanted you to open my Christmas present.”

“Oh, I’ve already packed it.”

Fucking brothers. I swear.

“How did you know which one was yours?”

“I got nosy.”

Gray leaned back in his chair. “When are you taking off?”

Baz winked at me, then turned to Gray. “Since I have to drive back to Chicago, I’m probably going to head out today.”

I hugged myself, suddenly sad to see him go. “You know what? I’m going to miss you this year. I know you’ll do a great job in Paris, and I know you’ll have fun, but I really am gonna miss you.”

Baz’s crooked downward smile matched my sentiment. “Me too. I think we've always had a good relationship, but I realize that I would like to know you better.”

“You should visit him next year,” Gray suggested, kissing my temple.

Baz laughed. “This one’s too afraid of flying for that long of a trip.”

Gray tapped his forehead, likely trying to figure out what Baz meant. “Wait, you're afraid of flying?”

I glared at my brother. “It wasn’t so bad when Wayne was flying—he made me feel safe. But then he went and retired, and I didn’t trust anyone else.”

“But you flew here,” Gray pointed out, probably very reasonably.

“Because learning to fly the plane, while really terrifying, made me feel less afraid.”

I swear, it made sense at the time.

“What do you mean, less afraid?” Gray asked. “Learning to fly didn’t make you not afraid?”

“You heard how I was during that last flight.”

“Yeah, but you had an issue with your landing gear.”

I shook my head. “I knew the landing gear would be fine. I was a little worried the freezing temperatures might do something to the hydraulics but I wasn’t any more worried than usual.”

“What do you mean, ‘than usual’?” Baz asked.

“I’m exactly that afraid during every flight.”

Baz and Gray went quiet.

I lifted my hands. “People say if you push through your fears, you can conquer them. But no one talks about how some fears never get better, no matter how often you push through.”

“But your job requires so much flying,” Gray said, frowning.

“I’m aware.”

“Weren’t you just telling me that since I own the airport, I can set my own hours?”

“Yes . . .”

“Well, Mr. CEO and owner, doesn’t that apply to you, too?”

“Not really. I still need to show up in person.”

“But not as much as you’ve been doing,” Baz said, tapping the table. “This is another one of those ‘Sunny things’ where you decide something is true without checking if it really is. We have a fantastic team, and we could be using them more.”

“What? So I should become a hermit? I don’t want that.”

“Good. I don’t want you to become a hermit either. But now that I see it, really see it, I can't unsee it.” He raked his hands through his hair, revealing the depth of his concern. “We have to have a better metric for what really needs you there and what can be done remotely or by someone else on the team.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. I glanced at Gray, whose entire expression had darkened.

“Gray? Are you okay?”

“I need you to stop ignoring yourself,” he said quietly.

“What he said,” Baz asserted.

“I’m trying.”

“I need you to try harder.” Gray shook his head, rubbing his hand over his mouth before his dark eyes landed on me again. “I like you too much—the real you, not this version of yourself that you think people need to see—for you to keep doing this to yourself.”

“That’s the job, Gray. I can’t exactly be myself all the time.”

“Bullshit,” he said, banging the table with the side of his fist. “Fluorescent lights have nothing on the sun. Stop. Fucking. Faking. It.”

I slanted a look to my brother—he would surely understand where I was coming from. But . . . Baz’s expression told me that maybe he didn’t. He gave me a half-smile, his eyes crinkling, even as they went shiny.

“You’ve always wanted to be independent and do everything on your own, even as a little kid.” I opened my mouth to protest, but Baz held up his hand. “Surely we can at least find you a pilot that makes you feel as safe as Wayne did.”

“I’d have to know and trust the pilot before they ever stepped foot in my plane.” I shook my head, knowing I couldn’t make it make sense. “I didn’t realize how nervous I was until that layer of safety was removed, you know?”

Baz grabbed my hand. “We’ll figure something out.”

I knew he meant well, but just thinking about it turned my guts into spiraled ham. “I . . . maybe.” I glanced between the two worried men at the table. “Can we, I dunno, put this on the shelf and talk about anything else?”

Gray leaned in and kissed my temple. “You mentioned that you had a stocking stuffer for your brother—beyond the gift he’s already stolen—and I happen to know he got something for you. I also have something for each of you. Maybe we can do an early gift exchange, then on Christmas Day, we’ll get on FaceTime and do the rest.”

Baz rubbed his hands together. “I think that’s perfect.”

We all got up at once, heading to where we had stashed our gifts. Five minutes later, we met back in the living room, each of us holding two presents.

Baz got me my favorite wine and gave Gray a set of new winter booties for Sweetie. I got Baz a pair of hand-knit gloves from one of the shops in Christmas Falls and I gave Gray a vibrating butt plug—the kind with a remote control.

“You could’ve warned me not to open this in front of your brother,” he grumped.

I cackled. “Yeah, but that was the best part.”

Gray sighed, then whispered something very naughty in my ear.

“Ah, jeez.”

“Sorry, Baz.”

Once we were finished traumatizing my brother, Gray handed me a flimsy rectangular box, like the kind you get from a department store, and gave Baz a small cylinder.

“They’re not much . . .” Gray started.

“Shut up,” Baz and I said at the same time, tearing into our gifts.

I ripped off the paper and opened the white box. Gray’s cologne hit me before anything else.

“It’s your scarf!” I exclaimed, pulling it out and wrapping it around my neck like I had done every day since I arrived.

“Like I said, it’s not much?—”

“Shut up,” I said, launching myself at him. “I love it. Like, a lot, a lot.”

In the meantime, Baz slid a roll out of the cylinder. He unfurled it and his hand went to his mouth. Opening it up completely, he turned it to me so I could see.

It was one of Gray’s paintings—I could tell that right away. He used similar techniques and colors as the one above his guest room bed. Instead of the Chicago skyline, though, this was a watercolor of Baz and me laughing. Baz’s head was thrown back, his mouth wide open, and my face was buried in my hands. You could tell from the posture of my shoulders that I was laughing uncontrollably.

I tended to do that a lot around my brother.

Baz blinked several times. “I don’t think I’ve ever received a better present in my life. And last year, this one bought me a Jaguar.”

I laughed and hugged him. “I’m not even mad about it.”

Gray shifted uncomfortably. “I figured you could take it with you to Paris for your rental, so it’d feel more personal.”

Baz looked at the small print again, then carefully rolled it up and slipped it back into the cylinder. He turned to Gray and gave him a hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. That was the trial run, and I’m working on the larger piece in my workshop. Whenever you find a place to land, it’s yours.”

Baz hugged him again, and Gray grinned. “Now get the hell out of my house.”

We all laughed, exchanged more hugs, and then I helped Baz with his bags as he headed to his car.

“Enjoy Paris. Let’s figure out ways to see each other throughout the year,” I said.

He nodded. “I don’t mind flying back to visit. In fact, I’m looking forward to it—it feels like I’ll be getting to know the real you even better.”

“You will.”

We hugged once more, said our goodbyes, and Gray stood beside me as Baz backed out of the driveway—in the Jaguar I’d purchased for him—and drove away.

I wrapped my arm around Gray’s waist. “So, lover, what exactly do you have planned for me tonight?”

“No, I can get it. I used to climb trees all the time as a kid,” I said, eyeing the tall tree at the corner of Dasher Street and Candy Cane Lane.

The reason we were out here after midnight was because a small crew went around replacing blown-out bulbs and strings of dead Christmas lights after the day’s festivities.

“So, you’re not afraid of heights?” Gray asked, standing beneath me as I started to climb. “God, you climb like a monkey.”

“I’m not afraid of heights at all. I even go to a rock-climbing gym—I like being high up.”

“So, the fear of flying isn’t about how high up you are?” he asked, his voice getting farther away.

I shook my head. “It’s more about catastrophizing. Thinking of everything that could go wrong that I have no control over.”

“Got it.”

“Are you laughing at me?” I asked, glancing down.

Gray shook his head. “Absolutely not. I’d never make fun of that.”

“Thank you.”

The dead string of lights I needed to swap out was high up, so I focused, trying not to fall to my death. About halfway up, I realized I wasn’t at the rock-climbing gym and didn’t need to break any world records. I slowed down and decided to take a moment to look around. The branches up here were still strong, so I straddled one and gazed out over the town.

Downtown was lit up like—well, like a Christmas tree—but from here, I could see the humble Christmas lights of everyday families for miles. Some houses went all out, while others had a simple string of lights at their roofline. But even the humblest decorations looked magical from up here. I leaned back against the tree and imagined what it would be like to live in a place like this. It brought me peace.

The more I thought about it, the more Chicago felt like too much for me. Even with the mishaps at the bakery and the Calloway house, I hadn’t felt nearly as overwhelmed as I usually did. I hadn’t even realized how constant that feeling was until I had a break from it.

“Everything okay up there?” Gray called out.

“Yes, just taking a quick break to check out the view.”

“It’s pretty amazing, right?”

“I can see the falls all lit up. They’re beautiful.”

“That’s great. Just don’t fall.”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, laughing.

I dusted myself off, mapped out my route to the string of blacked-out lights, and made it up there in no time. The wind was a little stronger up here, and the tree swayed more, but switching out the lights took only seconds. I took one last glance at the view before carefully climbing down, knowing it made Gray nervous.

I jumped the last few feet to the ground, landing in front of him with a smile. “Where to next?”

“My bed,” he said, pulling me in for a tight hug and a devilish kiss.

“TMI,” Griff said, crossing his arms. “T. M. I.”

Logan came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Griff’s waist. “Whatever. You act like we’re not gonna go home and do the same thing.”

Griff’s expression was priceless.

He wiggled out of Logan’s hold and came over to me, giving me a quick hug. “Thanks for helping with the lights. It’s hard to find people who can handle the height. I’m putting you on the list for next year.”

I exchanged a quick look with Gray. “I’d like that.”