45

Ramifications

The air is stale around me as warmth pushes against my bosom. The heat of summer reminds me I will need a cooler bath today. But as my eyes flutter open to soak in the sunlight, I am met with a hardened chest.

Jerrick envelops me, and I can't stop the smile pinching my cheeks.

The sheets are messy, slightly dampened from the weather and our activities last night. Our chests rise and fall in blissful tandem.

As the grogginess abates, I nuzzle into Jerrick and wrap my arms around him, earning a groaned sigh before he tugs me in closer.

I snicker, unable to stop my giddiness.

Jerrick's eyes are closed, his breathing even and calm. Wisps of his dark hair escaped through the night.

I tuck each loose strand behind his ear, smoothing the furrow forming along his brow.

He hums at my touch. "Good morning."

I scoot up and peck him on the cheek, his eyes opening and focusing on me. That damned dimple appears, and I do not stop smiling.

I greet him with a slow, languid kiss. "Good morning."

Jerrick moves, arms lifting to stretch. A long yawn escapes him before he returns to his previous position. He envelops me as I, too, yawn, refusing to move from this perfect position. He tilts his chin down, kissing my forehead.

I close my eyes, savoring this peaceful rapture.

"Are you well?"

I incline my head. "And you?"

He nods slowly, and my heart thumps against my chest as if it needs to crawl out of my body and mold itself on to Jerrick. Memories of last night surface, and my insides clench as I remember his fingers, his tongue, his cock.

I draw him in, seeking his skin to touch mine and satiate the need growing within. I'm not surprised by how fast Jerrick catches the shift in my thoughts as he willingly allows me closer to him, his hardening cock teasing me.

We trail our hands around each other, desire blooming.

His movements drag up my forearm, intertwining our hands. They link and unlink, each of us taking turns tracing the other's skin, goose bumps prickling everywhere from his touch.

Deities, how could I not fall for this man?

You have to let him go, Tove.

I can feel his stare, watching me, watching our hands.

"I have an idea for next time," he says, promising seduction.

I raise my brow. "Oh?"

He plays more with my hand as he leans into my collarbone and drags his lips up the line of my neck. "Next time, I want to use our magic."

I lean back, eyeing him warily. I've only used magic when pleasuring myself because I could manifest the tiniest of molecules of frost. While it is insanely pleasurable, I don't know how that would work with me and Jerrick.

Without a doubt, his magic would completely unravel me faster than I could ever imagine. The suggestion is one I selfishly focus on, clinging to the idea of never leaving this room—never leaving him.

"And when is next time?"

A sinfully delicious smirk appears as he cups my backside, stealing my breath.

I startle at the proximity of his cock, inches from my entrance.

"Now," he says, drawing me in for a kiss.

I moan as Jerrick's mouth meets mine, savoring him, loving him. Our kiss deepens, and I tighten my hold on him, keeping him close as if he is the only air in the room.

An abrupt pounding comes from Jerrick's door, startling us, and we break away from our bliss.

"Jerrick!" Jonas shouts with alarm.

"Yes?" Jerrick calls back to the door, pulling the bedsheet up to cover us with barely a second to spare as Jonas rushes in.

"The castle is under attack," Jonas says, panting and out of breath. "Bannermen arrived moments ago, trying to break in, and there are noblemen attacking the guests inside the castle walls." He points down the hall.

"What?" Jerrick asks, stunned and unprepared.

He jumps out of the bed, neglecting his nakedness as he scrounges around for the closest articles of clothing. Jerrick grabs the pair of pants he wore last night, giving Jonas and me a full view of ass as he pulls them on, then laces the front and reaches for his sword.

"I heard some of the noblemen chanting to bring forth you and Tove," Jonas adds.

Jerrick fastens his belt and weapons with quick efficiency. "Any idea who is attacking us?"

"Niko," I whisper as realization sinks in.

Jerrick and Jonas stop their movements, pivoting to me.

I meet their stunned faces, as a knot of dread forms in my gut. Niko did not listen to me, and I did not have a chance to tell Jerrick everything.

Fucking consequences.

Jonas asks, heavy with trepidation, "Wh-What did you just say?"

I clutch the sheets, glancing at Jerrick, who is already piecing together a story before I can force words out.

Malice drips from Jerrick's words. "You knew he was going to do this, didn't you?"

My tongue ties, refusing to compute words as my mind runs rampant. No, no. This wasn't supposed to happen. Shaking my head rapidly, I try to explain myself, to explain everything.

Niko was supposed to stand down, was supposed to listen to me. I told him I knew how to help his uncle. I was going to tell Jerrick everything this morning.

No one but me was supposed to get hurt.

But the words refuse to come. I stutter, my gaze flicking to Jonas.

His face is lined with hurt and betrayal and my heart cracks with remorse.

"I-I," I fight out, reaching for Jonas, for him of all people to hear me out, to allow me a moment to explain.

"Jonas, give me a moment with my wife," Jerrick orders.

Jonas glances at me once before looking to his brother, his king, with another question filling the room and adding to Jerrick's anger. "What about—"

"Gather all the men and women who can fight. I will be down shortly," Jerrick seethes so viciously that Jonas flinches, stepping back toward the door.

Jonas stops to brave one more look at me. Betrayal or goodbye, I can't tell, but he takes a piece of my heart with him.

As Jonas leaves, Jerrick rushes to the door, slamming it. He scans the room for the tunic he wore last night.

Fear surfaces as I push down my emotions, rising from Jerrick's bed and wrapping the entire blanket around me. I swallow down the bile rising.

"Jer," I plea for him to hear me out.

But when he pulls the tunic over his head and looks at me, anger and something else blazing behind his eyes. "Was this all just a silly political game for you? Was this—" He gestures between us.

The walls close in on me as my skin turns cold, Jerrick's hurt pinches and tightens his features in anguish and despair.

"Was this all a distraction?" he demands.

My stomach folds into itself as my lips quiver from the pain etched in his words. I hold the bedsheet tight to myself for safety as he glowers.

I can't bear him looking at me like this, like he hates me.

I don't even know where to start with explaining everything.

No matter what I tell him, he could kill me, and he could kill Niko. But if I am gone, Jerrick would be left alone with his curse unbroken.

Should I lie about my true feelings?

I doubt they even matter to him now. But I could lie to save him and give him more reason to keep me alive long enough to divorce me.

I close my eyes, knowing what I have to do.

To help Jerrick be free from his curse, I have to let him go.

A deep breath fills my lungs as I square my shoulders, telling myself how much I love him before I lie once more to save him.

He studies me as I reach for the small sprinkle of frost in my chest. It is the one constant I can hold on to as I return the gift that Jerrick is for someone more worthy than me to love.

A bitter plunge of grief beckons to life with my magic, my mournful soul weeping as I fracture it again to save the man I love. My heart is in a chasm of despair, my love for Jerrick thrashing against my chest, begging to escape to tell him.

But as I open my eyes, all sense of myself is void—only the mask of the Snow Queen remains.

"I agreed to the terms of the marriage contract, as well as the agreement, to help break your curse," I tell him, not wanting to even touch on the response to his original question.

I can't lie to him about my feelings.

He shakes his head in disbelief, faltering a step.

I want to rush to him and tell him it was all real—is all real. I want to confess how I've never felt so cared for, so happy, and so real around anyone but him.

But when Jerrick's pained disbelief shifts to anger, I blink through the tears lining my eyes.

No emotions, Tove. You can do this. You hold the key to his freedom.

"And I did learn how to break your curse," I tell him, calling my magic forth.

Jerrick's eyes dart to my hands as the frost creeps along the surface of my skin, the chill wrapping around and numbing me as my mind, body, and soul wither and truly seek to die. His eyes flash in surprise, but the King of Palaena blinks it away, taunting me with an angry response.

"I suppose you want me to spare you?"

I nod slowly, surprised he is not reacting to anything I've said.

He folds his arms and quirks a brow. "And how did you find the answer?"

I level my stance, committing to the mask I wear and pleading the lack of emotion means he will listen as I speak the truth.

"My mother designed her curses to outlive her," I say, taking a small step toward Jerrick. "She designed them so that, even upon her death, the portion needed to lift each curse would appear and be visible to the next heir, to me."

Jerrick remains silent, no doubt plotting and scheming all the ways he wishes to kill me.

But I need him to understand. I sigh a prayer to the Makers that the light inside Jerrick I've come to know and love will shine through and see reason.

I switch tactics, focusing on putting more of the puzzle together for him and reserve the one bargaining chip I have. The one that will let me see tomorrow and the one that will save Jerrick.

"When you kidnapped me, I had my mother's mirror. Not only is it one of the few things I have left of hers, but it is also glamoured to be a channel of communication," I say, tempted to avert my gaze when his jaw tics at another reveal he was not expecting.

His silence is more painful than when he ignored me after we were married. This man in front of me is an entirely different person, and I don't know what to do.

Deities, what I wouldn't give to be back to when I first came here to change all this.

My mask slips underneath the King of Palaena's betrayed features as I offer him more information. "Niko told me to call our banners while I remained here, wanting to disprove your stories about my mother and father and train my magic. Please believe me when I tell you, I asked him to stand down, and I never wanted a fight to begin with. I ordered him to stand down, and he exploded into a rage. I hoped he would listen and obey my order because I told him everything I discovered, and I told him how I hope—" I cover my mouth to suppress my collapse.

My emotions are getting the better of me, making my voice tremble.

Jerrick finally speaks. "Hope what?"

"I hoped you would divorce me and send me home to Axidoria so you could have a chance to break your curse." The mask Jerrick wears fractures, and I seize the moment. "I found out what was needed to break your curse when you were hunting before the ball. I was planning to tell you last night but—"

I glance at the bed, pressing the sheet to my chest. Last night and how perfect and right it was plucks my heart.

When I look back, I step closer to Jerrick, wanting his touch and begging for his forgiveness.

But Jerrick averts his gaze, and everything monumental and rapturous from last night burns to ash. A tear escapes, and I wipe it away, fighting to keep myself together when he flicks his eyes back at me, clapping slowly.

A low laugh escapes him before he unleashes his wrath on me. "Bravo, Frostbite. That is some tale you've spun."

"It's true!"

"Then, how do I break my curse?" he challenges.

I hold my tongue, unable to tell him. Not until I know he believes me.

I remain tight-lipped, refusing to budge. I can't tell him anything without some understanding—some sort of negotiation of walking away from this. I don't care about saving myself, but I need to save others.

And I can only do that if I let Jerrick go and he does the same.

The silence in the air is thick, dry, and filled to the brim with angry power oozing from Jerrick. The King of Palaena, cursed with bloodlust and gifted to take others into death.

A walking omen, he should be feared, and I, too, remember seeing it and believing it.

Death has followed me before, and assuming I was used to it was a fallacy, especially as Jerrick's features darken into a lethal predator seeking to end its prey.

Fuck, he doesn't believe me.

It's my turn to take a step back.

Jerrick stalks toward me, his features shifting into the man who kidnapped me, killed a man without so much of a second thought, and used his magic against me.

I've lost my privilege of seeing the light inside of him.

I call more magic to the surface, praying I can combat the power Jerrick will release at any moment. Fear prickles up my spine as he chuckles darkly when I am stopped by the bed.

I fall against it, allowing him to get closer.

My lungs cease working as he leans in. I have half a thought to use my gifts on him, but I can't control it. I could kill him.

But when Jerrick's lips crash on mine, my eyes widen as his remains fixed on me, watching me. There is pressure against my skin, my veins, and I break apart from his kiss, trying hard not to touch him for fear of my own magic.

But it is too late. The room is spinning.

A weight blooms across my body. My heartbeat increases, blood warms beyond the summer's heat. Sweat beads along my brow, under my breasts, and between my legs.

I fall backward onto the bed, still reaching and seeking the frigid power to fight against Jerrick's abilities.

I refuse to use my powers on him, knowing I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt him. I hold on to the kernel of frost fighting to not be snuffed out by the rush of Jerrick's magic, trusting it to be enough to keep me alive.

But I slacken as Jerrick observes me, tilting his head as the grip I have on the bedsheets loosens.

He guides me further on the bed.

"I am going to hunt down Lord Nikolaj, and when I catch him…" He pauses as a whoosh of his magic overcomes me, threatening to make my world go dark.

The use of Jerrick's magic is different this time, as if I can feel his own torment as it ripples through me. My heart fractures even more because I have done this and have failed him.

"I'm going to kill him," he vows.

Jerrick kisses me once more in a promise.

A tear falls down my cheek when his lips pull away from mine, my time running out. My blood rapidly shifts from hot to cold, dark spots lining my vision. My magic is extinguished, quiet, and I know this is death coming to take me.

"Love," I utter, my voice hardening and wanting to cease.

These final precious moments of my life will be here with Jerrick, and even though I've fucked everything up, I can't help but feel grateful.

When his full face comes into view, I reach for him, throwing every last ounce of strength I have, hopeful his light can come forth even after I'm gone.

There is no point in a divorce if I am dead, and maybe this is how it should be. Maybe this is how I return to my family and save my kingdom because Jerrick will have a rightful claim to the lands.

Jerrick killing me is a mercy. It is a beautiful mercy that echoes once more how he is not a monster. But I will not leave this world being the monster everyone claims me to be. I will not keep him from true love and finding his own happy again.

"On-Only in f-f-f-faithful consummation with l-l-l-love will then the curse br-br-break," I pant.

Shadows take over my vision, and I sink deeper and deeper into the mattress beneath me.

I release my hold on my husband, my heartbeat slowing, and my breaths become shallower. I slump as I fight to keep Jerrick in my mind, and I am granted one final blessing of seeing his features soften, glimpsing the man I am in love with in my final moments.

Darkness drags me deep into Letum's Oblivion.