22

Against Wills or Walls?

No heir in Axidoria had ever been blessed by Yeva or Letum. The Deities of Life and Death were the most powerful of the Makers, the cognizance and oblivion of all things. Aiyana, the Deity of Nature, created all four seasons with the presence of Leander, the Deity of Beasts, controlling all creatures. Anwir, the Deity of Illusion, constituted a government of monarchy, while Alora, the Deity of Divination, established religion and justice to allow there to be a balance.

Terror clutches my soul as I sit in front of a monarch that could lead to the destruction of us all if provoked.

I force out, shaking my head in disbelief, "Y-You can't—"

Warning bells alert every muscle in my body, and I want to run and hide. I lean back, gripping the armchair now for support as the King of Palaena leans forward, knowing I have caught on to his little game of show-and-tell.

The temperature drops around me as those blue eyes pierce my soul. Goose bumps prickle along my flesh, turning icy and frigid, sending me into a shivering frenzy.

Is this his doing?

Or is this my own doing?

My lungs inhale as he closes the gap between us, lowering to his knee. I try to scoot away, fighting the nudge of winter crawling up my chest.

The glimmer of power awakens at last, and I find myself seeking to cling onto something, anything, in desperation for an escape from this—from him.

Magic is explosive in my blood and along my skin, fear shaking through me for the unknown of what these gifts will do to me.

Will I ever see home again? Niko? Betina? My family?

Jerrick latches onto my wrists, preventing me from scooting any further, and terror threatens to escape from my throat.

I open my mouth, and my breath is visible. It does not stop Jerrick from pulling me closer. I turn away, and he leans in, terrified he is going to breathe death itself into me.

Sweet Makers, I don't want to die.

Panic and my powers fight for an escape, chills swimming through my veins as the cold stings, causing me to hiss in discomfort.

Jerrick's head tilts to my arms, my magic manifesting on my skin and slowly freezing it over.

Death itself seeks to swallow me whole, and ice cracking around me banishes all sense of instincts.

I can't get away from Jerrick, and I can't get away from my past.

This is all my fault.

I hate this, I hate myself, and I hate my magic.

I shake uncontrollably, the power threatening and all consuming.

The room, too, pulls air away from me, my chest and my heart erratic. Tremors wrack through my body, a complete and utter defeat drowning me here and now.

"You need to breathe," Jerrick says.

But tears blur my vision. "I-I can't. I can't," I stutter through gasped breaths.

My bitter cold magic travels across my arms, chilling and running down my legs. It is too powerful to contain. I can't stop the hatred I have for my misgivings and these abilities, my gift on its own journey to freeze me whole.

I hate this fucking curse of winter's kiss.

Jerrick moves, his hands gripping my face tightly. "Breathe!" he demands in a panic, only sending more tears down my cheeks.

I fight to send air into my lungs, to not think beyond the piercing pain of the frost and ice manifesting on my body.

But the terror of magic itself refuses to shake its grip.

Images of frost spill from my fingertips, turning into snow, while my feet would send more of winter outward and around me. My own frigid hand turns white as ice cracks splits my mind. The cold sting mixed with memories a blade plunging repeatedly into me.

I cower, my fears drowning me. "Please, no. Please, stop," I cry, pleading through the cold air.

Jerrick pulls away, scanning my entire body, muttering curses as he watches me lose myself to my own magic. Concern etches across his features when his eyes find mine again, and my heart breaks as I realize these could very well be my final moments.

The last thing I'll see is an enemy instead of a friend taking pity on the lack of control over my abilities.

The last heir of Axidoria, dying because she let frost and death consume her.

I deserve it.

At least my people will have Niko.

Jerrick's lips crash against mine. His kiss is rough and demanding, and my mouth meets the neediness.

One of his hands is wrapped around my head, the other gripping my neck. Heat, a shock to my body, creeps across my face when his tongue mingles with mine, pulling it into his mouth to suck and deepen our joining. The warmth in my cheeks grows, sending waves down the sides of my neck and melting away the speckles of frost rising from my pores.

His hold on my throat tightens as the kiss becomes messy.

A guttural moan comes from me, a sense of euphoria from my breath being blocked.

My blood boils, the surface of my skin no longer cold and the numbness in my hands gone. It feels as if he is suppressing the frosted air and inhaling it through our kiss.

Slowly, he releases me, both of his hands roaming down my arms, heat immediately following from his touch. The switch from ice to fire in my veins should give me more reason to panic, but Jerrick's lips remove all sense of fear.

I sweat as my body halts, realizing who it is I am kissing.

I push him away, forcefully ending the contact between us.

My own shortness of breath is evident, given my body's temperature was being thrown around. But I do not know if it is due to that or from his kiss.

He kissed me again to distract me from my panic.

Jerrick holds my stare, his blue eyes dark, greedy, and filled with lust, and he licks his lips as if he didn't get enough.

"Stop doing that!" I feign disgust and block out the desire burning in his eyes.

My mind imagines taking control of him and pushing him against the table and mounting him. But remembering Niko back home is the only reason I fathom over the sudden urge to really see what that lust behind Jerrick's eyes could lead up to.

I clear my thoughts away as Jerrick smirks. "Kissing you allows my magic to work faster. And besides, you liked it."

His face eases in toward me again, but this time, I see through the taunt and push him. I need to create some boundaries with this man.

"You can't go throughout your life kissing me whenever you want!"

He chuckles darkly under his breath, easing back. "I gained that advantage upon our marriage."

I stand and glare at him. "You never gained that so-called advantage because you left me."

A flash of surprise crosses Jerrick's features, but I've dealt with this parlor trick for long enough.

Even though I need his help, my annoyance supersedes that. At least for today, I am not giving him another chance.

Jerrick hasn't been present during the meetings Jonas and I have had, and with my shoulder healed, I need to cut my losses and find another way to learn my magic and rely on Niko.

I stew in my vexation and head for the door.

When I pull the latch, a large hand blocks me.

Warmth emits from behind as Jerrick's chest meets my back. He lowers, whispering softly, "You are not leaving this room."

I pinch my eyebrows in irritation, watching his large hand's veins twitch. "Yes. I. Am," I grit out, fighting against his weight pressed on the door.

A shudder rolls down my spine when Jerrick traces the length of my arm, my breath hitching.

"Are you so quick to forget what I can do?" His voice is low and guttural as his lips tickle below my ear. "I can make your blood boil, and I can make it cool down. All from a look, a touch. I can even make you need me, want me."

The admission has me wanting to scream and run away, yet my feet remain planted, unable to move beyond his tantalizingly sweet touch.

I arch into him as he wraps his hand around my hip.

His scent is intoxicating, and I want to rub against him and savor the desire blooming from his grip. Jerrick's throat bobs near my skin, and I move faster than my mind can follow.

My eyes widen when our bodies have switched places, his back against the door and my body pressing up on his.

"I knew you wanted me," he rumbles, low and sensual, as his eyes twinkle in amusement.

My lungs cease expanding while I fight against his touch, his gaze, his everything. An unquenchable need surges down to my core, arousal happening between my legs.

It latches me in place, making it hard to control my reactions. The sweat hanging between us does nothing for my rapid beating heart.

I shut my eyes in concentration, hoping to gain some traction with myself.

A moan almost escapes when Jerrick holds my sides again. It makes me feel like a starved woman, needing to cry out in ecstasy from this man.

"Stop it," I demand, desperate to have control of myself again.

I'm still holding him against the wall when something clicks, and I let go of him. I run my hands through my hair, still frantic with my body's needs. Hot, heavy, sensual, and euphoric.

I need to know how much of this is his magic and how much is purely me.

No, it doesn't matter. I just need it to stop.

"You will help me because, if you don't, I will not sign off on trade to help your kingdom, and I will not train you," Jerrick vows, sending a pulsing sensation down to my core.

A bitter sharp plunge of ice hits my system, my magic coming forward and trying to fight whatever Jerrick is doing. But Jerrick grips my shoulder, swiftly moving us again, with my back braced against the wall.

I hiss from the sizzle exploding across my frosted arms.

Heated blue eyes meet mine, and the hold on my arm tightens. "Agree to help me, Frostbite," he orders, his touch pulsing heat into my system, diminishing the frost I gained a small reprieve from.

I swallow thickly, the magnitude of the danger this man is to others, himself, and me settles in my gut.

A curse of death to pair with his gift from one of the two greater Deities? Whether his abilities are from Letum or Yeva, I still wonder if my mother knew about this. Surely not.

There is no way she could have known.

He is a walking omen to all. A monster, born or made, didn't seem to matter at this point.

He controls my fate, can manipulate my blood, and is cursed with death.

I need to carefully curate myself around him if I am going to give Niko and Axidoria a fighting chance to separate from this man.

I push through my tight breaths, knowing I need to play along in order to succeed.

"I-I'll help you," I squeak, the whoosh of magic ceasing its hold on me.

Jerrick steps back, and I slump to the floor, the toll from the temperature shift and magic used exhausting me.

I try to dodge from Jerrick's grip, but I'm easily lifted, forced to meet this cruel man's gaze, defiance of my own melting into his darkened stare.

He reaches to tuck a loose strand of hair from my face, and I recoil. Jerrick pauses.

Anger rolls through me when he leans in and kisses my cheek. I stare at his dimple on full display when he withdraws, opening the door.

"See you tomorrow morning, Frostbite," Jerrick coos.