30. Luca

30

Luca

When Blake asked to stop by a store, I thought it would be for groceries or dinner. I didn't expect to be standing in one of the aisles at Plush City, an Omega's wet dream. There's blankets and pillows of every size and color, stuffed animals, fairy lights, and decorations that I've only seen in magazines. After Hudson demanded I leave college and wrangled me into his home, there was no need for any of this. There's no space in that apartment and he would have shredded anything that was too bright.

Here, though, it feels like heaven.

Everything is so soft and beautiful.

It feels like I've been here for hours as I touch things and stuff my face into them, grinning and giggling before I remember that I'm not alone. I swallow nervously as I turn around to check on Blake. We haven't spoken about the incident and he didn't want to talk about it in the car. His face was still ashen and his scent a little sour but he stopped shaking. We also haven't spoken about Maceo being in the nest or the way Blake freaked out and went on a little hunt for his Alphas.

I stop in my tracks when I see Grayson behind a cart, all of the things I've touched inside. Blake is leaning against the edge, a wild smile on his face, his eyes sparkling. I can tell he's still scared and a little worried, his eyes darting to each side. No doubt he can't stop thinking of Hudson creeping up behind him but Blake is enjoying my excitement in this store.

"Wait. I… we need to get things for Blake's nest too."

Blake shakes his head. "Cupcake, this is for your nest. Not mine. You're the one going into heat." His voice is a little scratchy and I realize why he hasn't said much the entire time. Tears glaze over his eyes as the memory comes back, Blake reaching up to lightly touch his neck. Grayson wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him into his chest, whispering several words in his ear before Blake relaxes.

"Luca, as much as I want to stay and watch you pick out absolutely everything, we need to get home."

I nod, moving back toward the register. Grayson told me there wasn't a limit but I hadn't prepared to pick so many things. I also know that Blake is pushing himself to be okay when he's not. The last time that happened, he passed out on me and I can't watch that happen again. I take Blake's hand in mine, grinning up at him as he leans in for a soft kiss. He stumbles forward, setting me off on another round of giggles as Grayson jokingly pushes us out of the way to scan the items. I reach for one and he snatches it out of my reach.

"You're allowed to have things, Luca, and Blake makes quite the paycheck. It's his money we're spending."

No wonder Blake is so ridiculously proud of this outing. He's providing for me, his Omega, and I can't feel more special. There are blankets and plushies and clothes that I definitely didn't pick out. "You got me pants," I whisper. Blake nods, running his nose along my cheek but not speaking. I wouldn't have said anything until the end of time, letting my men dress me in their own clothes but it's nice to have something of my own.

By the time Grayson is depositing the bags on the couch, I'm already unpacking them, furiously stuffing them where they need to go in my nest. Blake is helping as he sits on the edge of the couch, handing me items. He always picks the right one which can't be said for Grayson who has been banished to anywhere other than the living room after helping us push the couch to the edge of the room.

"Do you at least want a mattress, Luca?"

I frown at the thought. "No, why would you suggest that?" A mattress offers edges that people can fall off of. Pillows and blankets will slide off and then I'll have to fix it. No, the floor is much better. Grayson laughs at my response but I don't see what's funny. "Blake—" I growl in frustration, unsure what's wrong. My nest is beautiful but it's not perfect.

"What is it, cupcake?" He looks up from his perch on the couch, holding a pillow that feels like a cloud. I know because I rubbed my face all over it in the car. "Ah, it's too bright in here, isn't it?" I nod, watching as Blake pushes off the couch and retrieves a small stool from the hallway closet. "We can turn off the lights but that bulb is part of the kitchen set. We'll need to pull it out."

He sets the stool in the middle of my nest and helps me climb on before I start twisting the bulb. With the lights off and the soft lamp at the edge, it's just the right ambiance. Once this light is off, it'll be perfect. I hiss as the heat from the bulb burns into my fingers but I focus on unscrewing it. And with one last twist, I sag against Blake with relief.

There.

"What in god's name are you two doing?"

I tense, causing Blake to stumble and we go crashing to the floor before I can look up and see Grayson leaning over the edge of the couch. He's laughing at us and I sit up, frowning at his reaction. "It was too bright, okay?" I help Blake to sit up, my Omega pulling me into his lap. He's been a little touchier since the incident and I want to ask but I also don't want to ruin it.

Grayson rounds the couch and stops at the edge of my nest before raising an eyebrow. I nod and he steps inside before sitting beside us. "Your nest is perfect, Luca. It's gorgeous and I'm happy that you like it. I can't wait to see all of us inside here, taking care of you."

"Maceo, too?" I let out a little sigh and tuck my face into Blake's chest. "I don't know why I said that. I have you guys."

"Do you want Maceo?" Grayson places a hand on my back and I shudder beneath his touch. He removes it a second later and I hate that I still can't enjoy these men when I can't see them. "Luca, this is very important. I know it's awkward but this conversation has to happen before you are out of your mind in heat. You won't be able to make these kinds of decisions and if Maceo is someone you want, we have to know now."

"No. I just… I like his scent but I have you." I twist around, forcing a smile on my face. My instincts are yelling at me to tell the truth but that has only ever gotten me in trouble. I'm just being greedy when Blake and his family have taken me in. I don't deserve yet another male.

"You didn't answer my question, Luca." His voice deepens, adding a serious tone to it. I shudder again and crawl off Blake's lap to sit in front of them. "Hey, Luca, baby come here."

I hesitate, unsure if he's just placating me or if he really wants me near him. When he's still holding out his hands, I do as he asks but sit beside him, hoping Blake will mirror my movements. My Omega does, both of us casing the Alpha in. "It feels selfish and I'm very grateful for what I have. Wanting Maceo and being practical are two different things."

Grayson chuckles, mussing up my hair before kissing my temple. "God, you're as stubborn as Blake. They are different things but what you want is more important than what's practical. You've been denied a lot of things. This is us making up for it. Think of it as a courting present, hmm?"

I don't like that. "What about what Blake wants? At the deli-"

His sour scent returns full force before disappearing completely until it's just the faint smell of pears in my nest. I hate it. "I don't–" He clears his throat and winces as he turns away from me. "No." Grayson didn't even mention it when we got home and I don't know why. I don't know why we aren't addressing it or talking about it. Blake clutches one of the pillows against his chest, starting to crawl away from us. " Please ."

I sit back on my knees, trying to make everything better but this one is impossible. Blake should be curled up in a space with his Alphas and possibly Maceo and me, sleeping the day away and enjoying the comfort that comes from a pack huddle. Instead, he's in my nest and I just don't get it. "Blake–"

"No!" He chucks the item at me.

Grayson sighs, his entire form deflating as he crawls after Blake and moves him back to the center of the nest. I love seeing Blake here but not at the expense of his emotions. He's vibrating with fear as he rubs at his neck, tears streaming down his cheeks. I saw Blake breakdown at the company but it didn't make sense how fast he fell into a subdued state. He must have been in shock.

And now that he feels safe, back at home, he can let go.

"Don't. He…" Blake is still furiously rubbing at his neck while trying to push Grayson off of him. His panic is rising, his breathing ragged. Any longer and the stress might make him pass out again. My heart hurts for my Omega and I can't do anything other than watch him fight his own Alpha—the same way I nearly did with Luther.

God, this is my fault.

"Blake, breathe with me. Deep breaths. Hey, we're right here with you. Look at me, babe. There you go. There you go. " Grayson cups the side of Blake's face before kissing his nose and then his lips, Blake letting out a little sigh of relief. "He is nowhere near us and he's not going to get in here. None of this is your fault. None of it."

Blake whines, unshed tears covering his beautiful eyes. "Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for. Not one thing, babe."

I'm still perched on my knees, unsure of whether to approach but do anyway. Luther and Grayson have told me I'm part of this and I don't want Blake to hurt. I settle against his side, gently wrapping an arm around his stomach. "I hate that he got you. I hate that you had to experience my pain and my nightmare. I hate that Alpha so fucking much and I hate that he ever got to own me."

Blake shakily raises a hand to my bandage as I run my fingers down his neck. I've always wanted to share something with Blake but never this. Never Hudson. Never the terror I experienced every day, waiting for Hudson to burst in and demand my ass.

I kiss him, needing his scent wrapped around me again. He doesn't take charge like he usually does, just sifts his fingers into my hair and plays with the curls. When he gasps for air, I pull back and snuggle into his shoulder, Grayson taking up the other side. I like that who is in the middle changes based on what we need. Sometimes, it's me. Other times it's Grayson or Blake. And that one time it was Maceo.

"I think… no, I want Maceo, Gray." It comes out as a jumble of words, Grayson laughing at me. I just glare at him, Grayson reaching over to pull my bottom lip which is jutted out further than the top one. "Blake?"

Grayson and Luther don't really know why I dragged Maceo into the nest at the office but I'm sure they can guess. Still, I'm going to check with Blake every chance I get because while they said this was my nest, I built it for Blake and me. He helped me build it, put it together, and I wouldn't imagine a moment without him in my space.

Blake shifts between us, his lids sliding close. "Maceo is nice."

That's enough approval for me.