31. Charleigh

THIRTY-ONE

CHARLEIGH

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to sit there and share a meal with them after what Nolan had said. How I was supposed to sit on that stool wedged between the little boy who'd wrecked my heart in the biggest way and the man who vibrated like a beast on the other side of me.

How I was just supposed to sit there and eat Chinese food as if this were just another day.

Not to mention Raven who was on the other side of Nolan, perched on her stool, though she had it angled so she could see both River and me as she chatted on like I hadn't just gotten the rug ripped out from under me.

Tossed from my feet.

Though rather than crashing to the unforgiving ground, I felt as if I was floating. Floating on clouds and rays of sunshine and an aurora of hope.

But I should know that I couldn't stay there.

I should know I would fall.

And I was terrified when I did that I was going to fall hard.

So hard and fast that when I did finally strike the ground, it would be rock bottom. Because right then I couldn't fathom a scenario when I wasn't right here, surrounded by this care and easiness.

By the laughter and the teases.

By the heat that radiated from River on hot gusts of air. The way it'd crawl over me each time our legs brushed under the stool, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Do you like the orange chicken, Miss Charleigh? I bet you like it as much as I do!" Nolan asked, wholly immune to the fact that each word that came from his mouth knitted me in comfort.

Each one weaving through my loss and pain, stitching the pieces back together as if they could become one.

I took another bite and struggled to swallow around the thickness in my throat. "I think it's delicious."

"You think we got the same taste buds?"

A soggy giggle escaped me.

I guessed I was enraptured.

Taken.

Mesmerized.

"We might."

"One thing's for sure, I have amazing taste because I picked you for my best friend." Raven enthused it around a big bite of Lo Mein before she pointed her fork in my direction.

"Hey, I picked her, too, Auntie."

"Not even, Nolan. I was the one who saw her passing by on the sidewalk, and I chased her down so I could meet her. That means I picked her first."

"Well, I picked her second," Nolan mumbled around a bite of eggroll.

An almost inaudible growl emanated from River, and I nearly came out of my skin when he set his hand on the top of my thigh and squeezed. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to my ear, words so low as they raked across my cheek. "Nah. I saw you first. Wanted you first. Think that means you're mine."

There was no shaking the single word from my brain through the rest of dinner .

Mine.

I couldn't be.

He'd already warned me it would never be that way, and I knew I would likely never stay.

But God, I wanted to sink into the idea. The idea of doing this every night. Sharing a meal with these people.

With this family .

Nolan had climbed to his knees on his stool, and he straightened, rubbing his belly while he pushed it out as far as he could. "Look it, Miss Charleigh. I ate all my dinner and now I'm all the way full."

I could do nothing but poke it with my finger. "What? I think you could fit way more in there."

He gasped and shrieked and grabbed at my hand. "Well, I gotta save a little spot because it's movie night, and I gotta have popcorn with my movie. Right, Daddy-O?"

I glanced over at River. My stomach tilted. The man was so viciously handsome it was painful to look at him.

"Thursday night is movie night, yeah."

I glanced between them all. "Every Thursday?"

"Yep! Because I really like movies but I gotta limit my screen time."

My spirit swam, and I tried to make sense of how this man who was lined in brutal bone and written in grisly ink made sure that this little boy limited his screen time.

Raven pushed her stool back with a screech of the legs and a chuckle from her throat. "River likes Disney flicks more than any of us. He'll never admit it, but he's nothing but a big softie."

His dark eyes narrowed. "Nothin' soft about me."

Giggling, she waltzed over, carrying her plate and wine, and planted a kiss on top of his head. "Nothing but that melty heart of yours."

Another grunt.

She cracked up like it was hysterical. "See. So sensitive."

Irritation flashed through his expression, and I tried to hide the laugh that rolled up my throat .

"Watch yourself," he said. That warning was for me, stealing the air from my lungs.

Raven tittered, enjoying the show too much. "All right, I'm going to toss these plates into the dishwasher really quick, then we can do this thing."

"Yes!" Nolan shouted, and he climbed onto his feet and jumped off the stool, landing in a chaotic thud on the ground. "Let's do this thing!"

"Nolan, you know the rules. No jumping off the furniture. You forget the last time you took a tumble and knocked your tooth out?" River asked him as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Nolan shrugged. "Well, I got to meet my Miss Charleigh that day, so I think it was a good sacrifice. That's what love's all about, right, Dad? Sacrifice? My dad told me that."

On the last, the child looked at me.

My stomach ached.

My heart ached.

My body ached.

Ached in the best of ways.

God. I was being an idiot. Getting so cozy like this. Acting as if I might be able to carve a spot for myself in their lives.

Giggling, Raven lifted her brows at River. "How are you going to argue with that?"

River was shaking his head as he stood and began to gather the empty boxes, the man so big beside me, the muscles of his arms bristling as he leaned around me to reach for a box in the middle of the island.

His chest brushed my shoulder.

I wanted to turn and press my face into his shirt. Breathe him in. The leather and the ink and the masculinity.

"Kid's a master manipulator, that's for sure," he grumbled.

Nolan tsked. "Hey, Dad, you gotta know I just got important things to say."

A chuckle rumbled around in River's chest, warm and filled with adoration. "Yeah, buddy, guess you just have really important things to say."

River moved around the island and pulled out a drawer where the garbage was located and started tossing boxes into the compost bin, while Raven began piling dishes into the dishwasher.

Standing, I wound around to Raven's side and nudged her to give me some space. "Let me help."

She swung her attention to me, and the softest smile played on her pretty face. "Told you." The words were hushed.

I frowned.

She angled her head. "That we're what you've been missing."

Twenty minutes later, the kitchen was cleaned and popcorn was popped.

Apparently, the thing River had needed to take care of when he'd left was going by my apartment to ensure no one had been there, though he'd returned with a duffle bag full of my things.

I hadn't known whether to be angry over the clear overstep—the invasion of privacy—or be grateful, though I could say for certain that it didn't surprise me.

He wasn't exactly the kind of guy who played by rules and boundaries.

I'd gone upstairs to a guest room he'd said was mine for as long as I needed it and had changed into a pair of sweats and a tank before I'd come back downstairs.

Raven was still up in her room, changing, too.

Nolan had a big plastic bowl tucked against his chest, his little arms barely able to circle around it. "All ready! I get to pick the movie."

"You always do," River mumbled from behind me, though there was nothing aggravated in his tone, just that gruff support he always seemed to carry when it came to the child.

"Dad," Nolan drew out with a longsuffering sigh. "Thought we already figured it out that I have really good taste. "

Amusement rippled through me as I followed Nolan out of the kitchen. The floors were cool on my bare feet, and the very last vestiges of the light were getting sucked away by the darkness that crawled across the sky.

I was surprised when Nolan bypassed the oversized sofa in the family room and instead carried on down the hall that ran to the other side of the house to a set of double doors on the left.

"Open it up, Daddy-O," he called, kicking out a foot since both of his hands were occupied with the popcorn.

"Yes, sir," River teased, those murky eyes gleaming when he angled around and let his gaze wash over me. He opened the door and stood aside.

Nolan rushed in, and the little guy shifted around to shower me in his excitement. "Look it, Miss Charleigh! We got our very own movie theater. What do you think?"

Okay, it wasn't quite a movie theater, but it was impressive.

An enormous black leather sectional faced a giant screen that covered the entirety of the wall on our right, plus about six different beanbags that looked like they were made for two people were tossed randomly on the floor in front of it. Throw pillows and blankets were strewn all over the place.

Movie posters lined the walls.

All cartoons.

Nolan had started for the couch when he whirled around. "Oh, wait, I forgot somethin' really very important."

He came beelining back my direction, sending kernels of popcorn slinging over the sides of the bowl. "Hold this for me for only one minute. I'll be right back so fast."

He shoved the bowl into my hands before he went blazing back through the door, and I could hear the pounding of his little feet as he clambered up the hardwood stairs to the second level above.

In it, the air shifted, and I could feel River's presence swell behind me. The second we were alone, his being rising high and taking over.

A pillar in the darkness that towered over me .

Warily, I turned to look back at him, trying to school my nerves that went sailing through me at the sight of him.

Standing in the doorway, shoulders so wide that they nearly touched each side. His expression fierce and indulgent.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, voice scraping in that gruff way as he took a step deeper into the enclosed, dimly-lit room.

The thud of his boots reverberated the ground and sent a shiver rolling through me. "Better."

His stormy gaze raked over me as if he were searching for proof. "Good."

How that one word could make me tremble, I wasn't sure. "Did you see anything when you went to my apartment?" I asked.

We hadn't gotten the chance to discuss it. He'd only given me the bare details when he'd led me upstairs to the room, though Nolan had been with us, so he'd kept it short.

His exhalation was weighted. "No. Not a fuckin' trace."

I bit down on my bottom lip, not sure if I should find comfort in that or be worried. But being here? Within the safety of his walls? The fear of this afternoon felt distant.

My worries unwarranted.

So, I whispered, "I probably was making it up."

A harsh sound rolled in his chest. "Don't fuckin' minimize it, Charleigh. If there is someone after you, I swear to God I'm going to?—"

His words cut off when Raven suddenly burst into the room, wearing a pair of baggy sweats and a tight tank, her black hair twisted into a wild knot on the top of her head. The makeup she'd been wearing had been cleaned from her face. "Are we gonna do this or what?"

She was all grins.

A clatter of little feet came banging in behind her.

"Got it!" Nolan was waving the stuffed puppy I'd gotten him over his head, excitement blazing from his sweet soul. "We can do it now!"

"What are we watching, Little Dude?" River asked as he pushed a couple buttons on a console on the wall closest to the door.

"Super Pets!" Nolan sent a fist sailing for the air, then he was grinning his sweet grin in my direction. "Because I'm gonna get me one of those real puppies one day, Miss Charleigh. Or maybe five of 'em."

That time he held up five fingers.

River groaned, and Raven laughed.

"What did you think was going to happen, taking him to that fundraiser?" she goaded.

River sent her a glare. "And who forced me into going?"

She shrugged innocently. "It was for a good cause."

"Yeah, Dad, it's for a good cause. The puppies gotta have a house."

"Thought we talked about this, yeah?" River tried to defend. "We need to wait a bit before we get a dog. It's a big responsibility."

"I already waited two whole weeks, and I got really mature."

River gave him a look and Nolan dropped his head, scuffing his little feet on the floor. "Okay, fine. Least I got my favorite blue puppy."

I pressed my fingers to my mouth like I could hide the laugh gathered in my chest, but it got loose, anyway.

Raven sent me a winning, knowing smile as she crossed the room and plopped onto the far side of the couch. She grabbed a fluffy blanket, brought her knees to her chest, and curled up under it. "Now bring me some of that popcorn, bestie!"

"Yeah, bring us some of that popcorn, bestie!" Nolan mimicked as he climbed up beside her.

River just shook his head, and God, I couldn't help the smile. The smile that bloomed somewhere deep inside and erupted on my face.

I was sure this was the most genuine emotion I'd felt in a long, long time.

The speck of joy that pulled at my spirit.

And that was terrifying.

River reached out and flicked off the lights, and the only illumination in the darkened space was the screen that flickered to life.

I shifted on my feet, unsure of what to do as River started across the room, his enormous body a silhouette in the lapping shadows. He barely brushed his fingers over my hip as he passed by, eliciting a shock of electricity.

When he got to the couch, he scooped Nolan up and planted him on his lap, the man a giant sitting there with the tiny child tucked against him.

"You comin' or what?" he issued in that deep, low voice, eyes on me.

I gulped and crossed the space, then I handed the bowl of popcorn to Nolan before I decided to play it safe and went to sit on one of the beanbags.

"No, Miss Charleigh, you gotta sit by us!" Nolan cried.

I should have resisted.

Refrained.

Claimed one of the beanbags.

Retreated upstairs.

Or maybe—maybe I should have run in the first place.

Maybe I should have never run to River.

Because I was certain there was no chance to stop the fall when I sat down on the other side of River and Nolan.

I tried to press myself as close to the armrest as I could, desperate to put some distance between me and the man who was emitting a thousand degrees of heat. To put some distance between the memory of our kiss from earlier.

To just make sense of what it was that I thought I was doing.

Did I really think I could withstand another breaking?

Apprehension billowed through me as the consequences of the choices I'd made since I'd come here caught up to me. The hardest part was figuring out what to do with the hope that had bloomed within it.

A chill rolled through me, and River reached back and grabbed a throw blanket from the back of the couch and handed it to me, and he leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Get cozy, Little Runner. You aren't going anywhere."