Chapter 28

Twenty-Eight

T he night passed agonizingly slow. Stephen spent it at Ruth’s bedside, watching to make sure her breathing continued normally. She seemed to be laboring to draw each breath. The clock on the wall ticked ominously on. Servants moved silently in and out of the room — stoking the fire, bringing fresh water, tucking in her already-smooth covers. Stephen wished they would be a little louder. They moved as respectfully as though Ruth was already dead, and it made the room seem even more eerie.

Dr. Morris — Dr. Scott, as Stephen now knew he was — came in every once in a while to check Ruth’s pulse. Each time, he would simply shake his head, pat Stephen’s hand reassuringly, and disappear back downstairs.

Stephen imagined he was sitting by the fireside with his aunt, reminiscing and attempting to rebuild their lost love. He was happy for them. In truth, the whole affair was astonishingly good news. He couldn’t truly enjoy it, though. His mind and heart were full of fear for Ruth, and even his aunt’s long-lost love returned was not enough to distract him.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning he fell asleep in the chair, his head leaned forward on the coverlet, his arm still outstretched to cling to Ruth’s limp hand. He slept fitfully, dreaming of the ball a few nights prior. It was as glittering as it had been, but everyone in his dream was wearing masks and pointing at him as his aunt had pointed, crying in unison, “You are dancing with the wrong woman. Fool.”

He awoke with a start. The room was still dark, but for the flickering light from the fireplace. It took Stephen a moment to realize what had woken him, and when he did, his heart lurched within him. Ruth’s hand, draped in his own, had moved. He sat up, leaning forward and clasping her hand with both of his own.

“Ruth?” he asked, hearing the desperation in his voice echoing in the dark room. “Ruth, it’s me — it’s Stephen. Please—”

Her eyelids, paper thin and as fragile as glass, fluttered open. She looked above her first, as though trying to determine where she was. Then, seeming to feel the pressure on her hand, her gaze moved to Stephen.

Her voice came out breathy and soft. “Where am I?” she asked. “What…what happened?”

Stephen felt his heart pounding quickly in his chest. “You’re awake,” he said, barely able to breathe. “The doctor said that would be a good thing — if you could wake up.”

The door opened behind him for one of the maid’s regular visits to the room. She came inside but halted almost immediately, her eyes on Ruth. Stephen turned.

“Call Dr. Scott,” he said quickly. “I don’t know where he is, but I believe he was planning on staying here overnight. Send for him and tell him Miss Selwyn has awoken.”

The maid disappeared. Stephen turned his gaze back to Ruth, who was watching him steadily in the dim light. Her eyes were still confused, searching.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. She glanced down at his hand and, seeing that he still held onto her, pulled her hand weakly away from him. “What is happening?”

“You’ve been ill,” he said, his heart breaking at how quickly she felt the need to distance herself from him. “Very ill. You fainted when you came home from my parents’ manor yesterday.” It felt like ages ago. “You’ve been unconscious since then. The doctor was concerned that you would not wake again.”

“How…how are you here?” she asked hoarsely.

“My aunt sent for me.”

“And you came?” she asked, hesitating. “You came to see to the health of a lady’s companion in your employment.”

“Ruth.” He caught up her hand again, noticing that this time she did not pull away. “Do not speak that way. I am done pretending that ours is the relationship of an employer and an employee. For weeks now I have felt differently — for weeks I have cared for you, though I dared not admit it even to myself. I — I love you.”

The words hung between them in an agonizing well of silence. She simply looked at him, saying nothing, and he saw the firelight reflecting off a sheen of moisture in her eyes.

“Please,” he said again, pressing her hand. “Please understand that I love you. I have loved you for some time — perhaps since the day I first met you — and I cannot live without you.”

She reached her free hand over to clasp his in both of her own, smiling weakly at him.

“My Lord,” she said, speaking through dry lips. “You are overwrought. Have you been awake this whole time?”

“I have been at your bedside,” he said slowly, wondering why she was avoiding his declaration of love, “but I have slept some.”

“Some, but not much,” she said. She took a deep breath, and Stephen thrilled to hear the air moving easily into her chest. It was the deepest breathing he’d seen since he’d found her in this state. “I can see,” she went on, “that you have put my well-being ahead of your own. You should rest.”

“Ruth, do you not hear me?” Stephen shook his head. “I do not wish to speak of my own rest. I know you are not able to answer now — you have been through so much — but I want to know that you understand what I am saying.”

She began to cry softly, the tears running down her pale cheeks and catching in the pillows of blond hair on her pillow.

“My Lord,” she said, “do you not see it is no use?”

“What can you mean?” he asked, heartbroken to see her cry.

“Our love,” she said softly, “cannot be. It matters not how you feel, or that I desperately love you in return. We cannot afford to make declarations of steadfast love no matter what. We cannot afford to be romantics. Your parents will never agree to our marriage, and I cannot ask it of you to defy them.”

This speech seemed to take all the energy out of Ruth, and she closed her eyes wearily, still holding onto Stephen’s hand. He leaned forward to respond, but before he could the door opened again, this time admitting both the doctor and the Duchess.

Dr. Scott hurried over, laying a hand on Ruth’s wrist as he had countless times during the night and glancing at the clock to track her pulse. This time, however, she opened her eyes, smiling weakly up at the older man.

“Dr. Morris,” she said hoarsely. “How good of you to come.”

Stephen stood aside and allowed the doctor to check Ruth’s breathing. The doctor listened at her heart and lungs for a long moment and then stood up, tucking his instruments away in the pocket of his coat.

“You had us frightened there, Miss Selwyn,” he said with a broad smile. “But I am pleased to say you seem to have pulled through the worst of it. I do not doubt that you will be quite exhausted for some time, but food and rest should bring you back to good health soon enough.”

“Thank you,” she said through pale lips. “I am grateful for your care.”

Ruth’s gaze flitted over to the Duchess, who was standing like a shadow at the foot of her bed. She looked concerned.

“Are you well, my Lady?” she asked. “Have they been tending to you in my absence?”

“I am well,” Stephen’s aunt put out a hand and gently, briefly, tapped the coverlet. It was a shocking display of affection from an aristocratic lady such as herself, and he could see that it touched Ruth’s heart. “I just want you to get better, dear.”

Ruth nodded wordlessly.

“Dr. Scott,” Aunt Cecelia went on, turning to the doctor with a smile, “how can we make Miss Selwyn more comfortable?”

The doctor nodded. “As I mentioned, food and rest will do the most good going forward, but when her body seems more stable the outdoor will help as well. As long as the weather is dry and warm, she will benefit from the sunshine.”

Stephen noticed Ruth’s face had changed. She was looking back and forth between the doctor and the Duchess with an inscrutable expression on her pale face.

“Dr… Scott?” she said slowly. “You are Dr. Morris, are you not?”

Stephen could see that she was searching her mind for where she’d heard the name “Scott” before. It seemed to come to her in a flash because, before the doctor could respond, she lifted her head slightly and gasped, “Are you…” she looked at Stephen for conformation. “Is he… the Scott?”

Stephen knew that it was Ruth’s recent illness speaking — the girl he had grown to know and love would never have given away her knowledge of his aunt’s situation so brazenly. But she was dizzy and only just awakening to the world around her. She did not have her usual restraint. His aunt gave a little laugh and then a sigh.

“I see that you read the diary too, before you gave it to my nephew,” she said. There was only kindness and understanding in her eyes. “My secrets were not so safe as I once thought.”

Ruth looked nervous. “I only meant to help,” she said quietly.

“I know, I know,” the Duchess said, patting the coverlet once more. “You always mean to help, dear.”

“And you are truly Mr. Scott?” Ruth asked, turning to the doctor. “I mean,” she corrected herself. “Doctor Scott.”

“I am,” he answered quietly. “Although I have a feeling you know more about me than I know about you.” He patted her hand gently. “We can catch up another time. For now, you ought to rest and recover your strength.”

Ruth reached out and clasped his hand in hers, keeping him from moving away from the bed. She gave a weak laugh. “No,” she said. “I beg your pardon, but after all these weeks learning about Lady Cecelia, I cannot let such an obvious answer pass without explanation.” She looked between the doctor and the Duchess, apparently choosing her words with care. “My Lady,” she asked. “What is he to you?”

“You must be a very special lady’s companion indeed, if you are permitted to ask a duchess such a question,” the doctor said quietly. His tone was sober, but not patronizing in the least.

The Duchess smiled at Ruth. “It is right that she should ask,” she reassured the room. “She has, like Stephen, watched me ailing for some time now. She has done her utmost to ensure my recovery, and I think she is owed an explanation for my current state of happiness.”

Her words brought a bright smile to Ruth’s face, and a pinking of color in her pale cheeks.

“Go on,” she said breathlessly.

Stephen saw his aunt turn adoring eyes on the doctor. “He came back to me after all these years,” she said simply. “I could have searched the world over and never found him, but here he came walking into my life without any attempt on my part. I have known he was the so-called Dr. Morris since you first brought him to check on my well-being.”

“That is why you did not wish to see him,” Ruth said with understanding.

“Aye,” Stephen’s aunt assented. “I was not ready to face him. But I could not let him leave without saying something yesterday. I had already let him leave too many times before.” She came and stood beside the doctor, sliding her hand into the crook of his elbow. “All is well now,” she said. “After years held apart by a world that did not understand our love, we can at last be together.”

Stephen wondered what Ruth was thinking — if she could see the way happiness had made Aunt Cecelia almost youthful again, or the protective way Dr. Scott moved his hand to his arm and clasped his love’s hand gently in his own. Whatever Ruth was thinking, her eyes shone with pleasure.

She turned her head to look at Stephen. “You knew?” she asked.

“Only just yesterday.” He shrugged. “I believe I found out mere minutes after Dr. Scott himself learned who the lady of March Manor really was.”

He wondered if he ought to wait until they were alone to press his case with Ruth, but in the end decided that there was no couple more suited to understand thwarted young love than the doctor and the Duchess. He leaned forward, capturing Ruth’s hand again in his own.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he spoke softly but urgently. “I do not care what my parents say. I cannot leave you. I will stay with you forever. If you will have me, Ruth, I will marry you as soon as the bans might be read.”

Tears came back into her eyes. “If the bans are read there will be an outcry,” she said. “Your parents — the ton — everyone will have something to say about the poor woman you have chosen as your wife.”

“I do not care,” Stephen said quietly. “I have spent too long hanging my decisions on the opinions of others. It is, as we discussed once long ago, a type of prison. I want to be free.”

Ruth looked at him silently. A tear rolled down her cheek.

“Please,” Stephen repeated. “Can you not find it in your heart to love me as I love you?”

He felt the Duchess and the doctor just outside his peripheral vision, unmoving. He wondered if they were holding their breath as he now was, waiting on the answer from the slim little figure in the bed.

At last, Ruth spoke.

“It is not a matter of finding the love in my heart,” she said. “It is already there. It is all-consuming. If I don’t marry you, I will live with it forever.”

“Is that a yes?” Stephen asked, desperately happy.

“It is,” Ruth answered with a smile, pressing his hand gently with her own. “If you are willing to put your reputation on the line for me, then I will confess the truth to you — I love you as well, and I would love nothing more than to become your wife.”

The Duchess gave a little sigh of happiness and came forward slightly to speak.

“I am glad you said it, my dear,” she said. “I did not want to influence you too strongly, but to hear two lovers consider setting aside true love for the sake of society was almost too much to bear. You can find real happiness in each other, and those who protest have no right to speak into your life.”

The doctor stepped forward too, smiling broadly. “This is good news indeed,” he said. “But now I must play the part of a physician yet again and urge you that such excitement is too much for my patient. You two lovers bid each other goodbye for the moment. Miss Selwyn should freshen up and take some breakfast before resting, while I believe Lord Darnley could do with a spot of sleep and food as well.”

Stephen looked at Ruth. “I do not want to leave you.”

“It is momentary,” she said, smiling. “Are you going to make me quote Shakespeare to hurry you on your way? ”

Parting is such sweet sorrow. “There is no need,” he said with a quick laugh. “But I am still loathe to leave.”

“It is momentary at best,” the doctor teased him. “Let us hurry on our way and, when the maid has helped Miss Selwyn into fresh garments, I may allow you back up to speak with her about the future.”

“The future,” Stephen said, clasping Ruth’s hand. “Our future.”

She nodded and smiled.

Stephen slept for a few hours and woke refreshed. He went to see Ruth, but she had slipped into a healthy, restorative sleep herself. He watched her for a few moments from the doorway and then turned to go downstairs.

His aunt was outside in the garden, sitting on a bench beside Dr. Scott. He had an arm around her, and she was laying her head gently on his shoulder. Stephen approached slowly, reluctant to break up their sweet moment.

“Pardon me,” he said. “I was hoping for a moment to speak with you both before Miss Selwyn awakes. I imagine there will be much change on the horizon, and I wanted to be honest with both of you.” He looked at his aunt nervously. “I worry about leaving you alone, Aunt,” he said quietly. “I wish to marry Miss Selwyn, as I have already said, but I cannot very well bring another woman in to run your home. All the same, I do not like the idea of you living here alone.”

The doctor smiled calmly. “She will not be alone,” he assured Stephen. “We have been making plans already. We are going to wed and live together at last.” He cleared his throat. “I suppose, since you are the male relative who has shown her the most care and kindness, I ought to have asked your permission first. I confess that, after all these years, your disapproval would not do anything to dissuade me.”

“I should hope not,” Stephen said with a broad smile. It warmed his heart to see how happy his aunt was in Dr. Scott’s embrace. She looked better than he had ever seen her: peaceful and happy. “But if you were to ask, I would say that I wish you every happiness.”

“Are you worried about your own future?” Aunt Cecelia asked Stephen gently. “I do not know what your parents will make of all this.”

“I am unsure they will allow Miss Selwyn into their home again,” Stephen said quietly. “I think it likely they will disinherit me, in fact. They have been embarrassed by my actions already, and a proper engagement to one such as Miss Selwyn would not suit them in the least.”

“If they throw you out you are welcome here,” his aunt assured him. “You and Miss Selwyn may stay as long as you need. She is a dear soul, and I shall miss her terribly if you take her away.”

Stephen felt his heart warm at the thought. “You are kind to offer it, Aunt,” he said. “I wish that my parents could see the world as you do.”

As if on cue, the butler stepped out onto the terrace and made his way over to them with a worried expression on his face.

“My Lady?” he said nervously.

“Yes, Mr. Tylor?” Aunt Cecelia said.

He shifted for a moment, looking towards Stephen and the doctor as though he wasn’t sure he wanted to speak openly in front of them. Then, in a moment, he seemed to gain the courage.

“Lord and Lady Richmond are here,” he said stiffly. “They are waiting in the parlor as we speak.”

Stephen turned towards the house suddenly, his heart hammering in his throat. “Why have they come?” he asked.

“I sent for them,” his aunt said, standing up and leaning on the doctor’s arm. “I think it is time we all have an open conversation as a family. I know that you are resigned to a life cut off from your parents for the sake of love. I told you already that I support you standing by Miss Selwyn through everything. Still, if there’s a chance that you can have both a happy marriage and a happy family, wouldn’t you want to take it?”

Stephen shook his head. “You did not hear the way they talked about her,” he said. “It is hopeless.”

“Perhaps they did not fully understand the way you felt,” his aunt retorted. “Perhaps they did not fully understand the stakes. Either way, they are here now. Come with me, and we will face them together.”

The trio walked inside, the Duchess on Dr. Scott’s arm, Stephen trailing a few steps behind.

Just as the butler had said, Lord and Lady Richmond were waiting in the parlor, sitting in the high-backed chairs by the fire. Stephen cleared his throat when they entered, and his parents rose at once to face them. Lady Richmond’s fingers twisted nervously around the handkerchief in her hands.

“Stephen,” she said simply.

“Mother,” he acknowledged, on guard. “What are you and Father doing here?”

Lord Richmond cleared his throat and stepped forward. “How is Miss Selwyn?” he asked.

Stephen looked at him in astonishment. “I do not know why you are asking,” he said slowly. “After the way you treated her in London, I presumed you had no care at all for her future.”

“We care about your future,” Lady Richmond said kindly. “And it seems you are invested in the life of Miss Selwyn. When Cecelia wrote us to explain the fullness of the danger, we thought we could come to offer our support.”

“That is not true,” Stephen said quietly. “You thought you would come to make certain I didn’t make any rash decisions as regard Miss Selwyn. You thought my emotions would get the better of me.”

“Did they?” Lord Richmond asked, his gaze steady.

Before Stephen could answer, Aunt Cecelia pulled Dr. Scott forward by the arm and interjected, “Sister, I would like you to meet someone.”

To Stephen’s surprise, his mother’s reaction to the doctor’s presence was one of almost instant recognition. Her eyes widened, and the handkerchief in her grasp drifted to the ground like a cast-off flower petal.

“Mr. Scott,” she said quietly.

“It is Dr. Scott now,” Aunt Cecelia said proudly. “I am glad you recognize him, Sister, even after all this time.”

Stephen stepped aside and watched as his mother came closer, her eyes full of wonderment. He had expected protestation, astonishment, or, at the least, a cold shoulder in response to the return of the doctor. It seemed that the years had softened his mother, however, instead of hardening her. She actually smiled at the doctor, her eyes gentle.

“I wondered where you had gone,” Lady Richmond said. “I am delighted to see you here again, but I do not fully understand. Did you keep up with Cecelia all these years?”

“I did not,” the doctor said quietly. “I had resigned myself to a life without her, but fate brought us together again. I confess it all happened rather quickly, and without any effort on my part.”

“Edward has asked me to marry him,” Aunt Cecelia said, looking at her beloved with affection that nearly brought tears to Stephen’s eyes. “He has agreed to live with me here at the manor, and to continue his practice in the village.” She bit her lip. “I never felt comfortable discussing all that occurred with you, Sister. You were so young when I married my late husband, and our parents wanted me to forget about Edward. I am surprised you even recognize him.”

“I remember him well,” Lady Richmond said. Stephen saw a girlish look come into his mother’s eyes. “He used to chase me through the garden, and he would push me on the swing behind our country estate.” She turned and looked directly at her sister. “I always thought it a pity that he went away, and I saw that you were never the same. I missed him only a little, but I missed the sister he took with him much, much more.”

Stephen had never heard his mother speak so frankly before. Ordinarily, she was a woman of great composure and careful propriety. She was never one to share too much too soon. He felt as though the sudden appearance of the doctor — and the memories accompanying his arrival — had stripped away all the walls around Lady Richmond’s heart. She stood before his aunt like a little girl again, looking to an older sister for reassurance.

Aunt Cecelia gave it, reaching out and wrapping up Lady Richmond in her small, slender arms.

“Everything will be alright now,” she said quietly. “Edward will care for me.”

“I am sorry I wasn’t here all those years,” Lady Richmond said, her voice muffled slightly by her sister’s shoulder. “I should have come, but I did not think you wanted me. I couldn’t bear the thought of getting up the courage to knock on your door and having it simply shut in my face.”

“Our past is full of mistakes,” Aunt Cecelia said, leaning back and holding her sister away from her so as to better look her in the eye. “But we have a chance to fix that. We have a chance to do better.”

She turned, putting one arm around Stephen’s mother, and looked at Stephen.

“Your son has something to tell you.”

Stephen swallowed hard. He looked at his father, whose jaw was set in a tight expression.

“Mother,” he began, “Father, I am going to marry Miss Selwyn.”

The words hung in the silence. He went on.

“I love her. I have grown to know her over the past weeks of her employment here at March Manor, and I find her to be everything a man should want in a wife.” He took a deep breath, surprised his parents were letting him speak so freely. “She is wise. She is kind and compassionate. She is good with people. She loves me and makes me a better man.”

Here was the hard part — the ultimatum. Stephen went on, carefully. “I know that it will make your lives difficult. I have tried to do what is right for our family, but I cannot leave Ruth. She is in my heart now, and forever. I will have her for my bride, and if you cut her out of your life you will have to cut me out as well.”

Aunt Cecelia put a hand on her sister’s arm. “I know the path that lies open to Stephen if he were to agree to your wishes and leave Miss Selwyn for a more conventional choice,” she said to his parents. “It is a lonely path, and time will not heal the wound. Only love, long-suffering, healed mine.”

Lady Richmond took a deep, shaky breath. “Stephen,” she said, coming to stand beside him. “Your father and I did not come all this way simply to ascertain the health of Miss Selwyn. We came because we discussed the events of the last few days — the events of the last weeks, in fact — and were not proud of our actions.”

She turned to Lord Richmond for encouragement, and to Stephen’s surprise, his father nodded in agreement. Lady Richmond went on.

“We don’t know another way, honestly.” She sighed, looking to Stephen more vulnerable than she had ever looked. “Our parents encouraged us to prioritize status and wealth above all else in matters of marriage, and we feared that if you did not do the same you would not find happiness. When we saw you run from the home in pursuit of Miss Selwyn, we realized that we were wrong. We realized that you love her.”

“I am a lot of things,” Lord Richmond interjected at last, his voice strangely husky with emotion, “but I do not wish to be an obstacle to your happiness. I hope that Miss Selwyn can recover, because I very much need to apologize for the way I spoke to her after the ball. It was not my proudest moment.”

Stephen shook his head in amazement. “I do not understand,” he said. “You have always been so firm in your desires for my future. How can it be that after all these years you are simply willing to let me marry a woman of no consequence? A lady’s companion?” He looked at his mother. “Is this a trick?”

“She is not of ‘no consequence,’” Lady Richmond said quietly. “She is of consequence to you.”

“I knew that you cared for her when you were at our home that night,” Lord Richmond added. “I was angry. I thought she was not a good choice. I watched her care for your aunt and conduct herself with wisdom and poise, and yet her pedigree blinded me. Still, I could see that you cared. I was not blind to that. It was not until you left that I began to wonder if I would ever see you again.” He hung his head. “I do not want my pride to ruin our family’s happiness.”

“What about our family’s reputation?” Stephen pressed, thinking of how they’d foisted Lady Lina on him. “Is that not something you also wish to preserve?”

“I will not lie,” Lord Richmond admitted. “It will be hard for me to face the people who will judge you for your choice. It will be humbling. Still, I would rather garner the disapproval of my peers in the House of Lords than the disapproval of my own son. ”

Stephen felt tears come into his eyes. He reached forward and took his mother’s hands, looking from her smiling face to his father in the background.

“If what you say is true, then you have made me so very happy,” he said brokenly. “I cannot wait to tell Ruth. When she is well, we can start making up for lost time.”