18. The Run, Beau

The scorching sun didn't faze me. I spent most of my days outside in the elements. What caused me problems right then were the stupid Italian loafers on my feet. Dash assured me they were worth the buy, being made by hand from a region that produced the softest leather. But they weren't faring well during my run.

I'd begun running because I didn't know what else to do. Facing Dash's parents brought all my fears to life and then a whole lot more. My mind went into overdrive, my anxiety reached alarming heights. As I left the house, waiting outside for…well, I didn't know what, the open road of the long driveway called to me. Then a sudden urge to channel my inner Forrest Gump took over. From the second I left the porch, I sprinted in an effort to outpace my demons.

My speed and stamina hadn't suffered much over the many months since I left playing football. I'd stripped off my dress shirt about a mile back. My undershirt now hung untucked as I pushed through the pain in my feet. At least I'd never have to wear these shoes again.

Sweat trickled down my face. I lost track of the time and direction, fixing my gaze on the road below me. Over the years, I'd wondered how my father had found the photos of Dash and me at the Fourth of July fireworks celebration in Sea Springs.

It had never occurred to me that the information had come from Dash's father. How had I not considered that? In hindsight, it was so obvious. That man, Dash's father, had willingly destroyed my grandparents, both financially and physically, without a second thought. My paw died as a result of his actions, and my nana followed him a few years later. My mother had gone through living hell. I had too. All for daring to fall in love with Dash.

The money my crappy old man had in savings made more sense now.

Perhaps the guilt of my father's actions led him to the increased amounts of alcohol he'd consumed. My head shook. It didn't matter whether it bothered him or not, he chose the money over my well-being. He still chose to make my life hell.

With each passing of my loafers on pavement, I questioned what was so wrong with me that led Mr. Richmond to completely destroy me? Did he find satisfaction in the life he'd set up for me? Or did he give me no thought at all?

Ultimately, I had held myself accountable for everything that happened. When we moved to Sea Springs, I'd taken too many risks despite knowing the reality I lived under.

I grew to hate myself. I'd contemplated suicide many times, only not to act due to the pain it'd cause my mom.

Step after step, I ran tirelessly through the roads. Time and location faded while I pushed my body in a way I hadn't done for six long months.

What did I do next? The sudden and complete anguish at the idea of losing Dash was unbearable. My breathing turned erratic, disrupting the rhythm of my pace. My feet began to slow until I came to a stop. My hands went to my knees and I bent over, my head hanging low. As I closed my eyes, I found it took effort to avoid passing out due to hyperventilation.

I loved Dash. I loved our lives together, and I knew he loved me in return. I believed in his belief that we were always meant to be together. But the idea of him losing everything… Dash had no understanding of what that truly meant. What a life of poverty looked like. I did though.

Reality slingshotted back in place. Of course, he had to stick with his family. Dash had never had to survive on repeated Kraft Mac & Cheese dinners because there was no money for anything else.

Acar door shut behind me. I hadn't heard the approach. From between my legs, I saw an upside-down Dash walking up behind me. Maybe I had sweated too much, causing dehydration to create hallucinations, or perhaps I'd run too far, my muscles were revolting, including my brain, but as I rose, my equilibrium shifted. I had to take a woozy balancing step backward. I lifted my undershirt's short sleeve to swipe at the sweat on my brow and in my eyes.

Dash approached with his hands in his expensive slack's pockets as he took his spot between me and the bustling road. We'd apparently caused a stir on the street. The vehicles slowing for a peek of us as they passed by.

The serious direct stare he and I shared had an ominous undertone.

"I'm sorry," Dash began. The pain in his eyes and voice destroyed any remnants left of my heart. I understood the meaning of the apology and nodded, turning my face away. The tears refused to be held at a distance any longer. I needed to brave up, be a man. Dash didn't need any more burdens weighing him down.

"It's all right. You need to do what's best for…" I couldn't finish the words. I tore my T-shirt over my head, swiping the already wet material down my face.

My tears fell freely. One hand fisted the shirt as I dropped them to my knees again, my head followed.

"Beau." I watched as his shoes came into my view, and his slacks lifted off his ankles. Seconds later, he squatted, placing a reassuring hand on my back. The tone he used, warm and gentle, did calm me. "My apology's for my naivety. I unintentionally caused you pain and hurt your entire family. If you'll give mean other chance, I promise to spend my life making amends."

Listening was damned difficult with the way self-pity had a hold on me. Yet his words eventually bounced around my head long enough that I made sense of them. I squatted, balancing on the balls of my feet as I met his gaze. There was no denying the tears in my swollen eyes. I was surprised to find his in the same condition.

"You can't stay with me. I'm sure he'll cut you off. I have to go. You don't know the reality of life without money." Though I nearly choked on the bitter words, they had to be said.

Dash responded by extending his hand between us. It took a moment for me to understand he wanted me to hold it. Then another few seconds longer to get that he was rising, intertwining our fingers together.

"Let's discuss this on the way home. I have cold bottles of water in the car for you. You weren't easy to locate. There was a guy selling them on the side of the road who had seen you run like a bullet in this direction." Though the guy holding my hand and speaking to me resembled Dash and shared his thoughtfulness, his tone conveyed a blend of sorrow, uncertainty, and frustration that Dash had never used with me before.

I followed because I had no other option. I was destined to always go wherever he led. The cool burst of air conditioning along with the cold leather seats, drew me in like a kid in a candy store. I reached for one of the two bottles, draining it in a few long gulps.

"Both bottles are for you," Dash offered and reached for my hand again. He carefully pulled back into traffic, never once releasing me to navigate the streets. We covered many miles in silence.

I wanted to say something to ease his burden, to lighten the load he'd just been handed, but the words felt inadequate. Instead, I gripped his hand tighter. I'd be his life preserver for however long he needed me.

We'd come within a few miles of home before any more was said.

"You were right about everything in Sea Springs. I should've trusted your gut. I honestly had no idea they were capable of such a heinous act." Dash raised a hand off the steering wheel, motioning his disgust. He shook his head before reaching to pull his sunglasses off. A tear trickled down his cheek. "I believed him when he claimed he'd tried to protect your grandparents and tried to intervene in your case. I accepted his inability to change the judge's decision."

"It's not your fault," I said, not liking where this was headed. "You can't take the blame. We're past that point—"

"It's only my fault," Dash interrupted sternly. "You were right all those years ago. Had we stayed hidden, had I not mentioned you to my father, had I read his responses properly…"

"Hidin' is no way to live," I said the truth that I'd discovered after returning to Dash. "We couldn't have lasted that way. Let's just be straightforward." The words clogged my throat, refusing to be said until I forced them out. "I'll take off tonight. I need you to promise to cash the check so I can take the truck."

"Please don't leave," Dash said. His voice was small and pleading. I didn't like to hear him that way.

"Your parents were serious, Dash," I said, turning toward him. This was no time to be hardheaded. He had to see the reason. "You have no idea what it's like to live without…"

"That's not true. I managed my life without you," Dash said.

"Not the same thing."

"We won't be without. I own my home. I have money in the bank. When I graduate, I will have a job. We might have to watch our spending, but we're not destitute. And I have you."

His explanation sat between us, resonating with previous conversations about the future. He'd just described the life he had always wanted.

"How can I be the one that separates you from your family?" I asked, covering all the bases as hope began to trickle in.

"You're not. You're the best person I've ever known. If they don't want to be in our life, that's their choice," Dash said as he left the highway and came to the red light closest to his house.

He drew my hand between his. His gaze directly on me, imploring me to listen. "I'll never be able to forgive what they did to you. If they hurt me, that's one thing, but hurting you is unforgiveable. Never you. Please don't leave me. Let me have the chance to make this right. I'm truly sorry." His fresh tears were my complete undoing. I leaned across the console, drawing our hands toward my lips. I kissed him there then rose to place another one on his lips. My devotion to Dash was forever. Fear was certainly there. No, I didn't see the vision of our future, but I'd help him like his presence helped me through my life.

The streetlight turned green, forcing Dash to let one hand go. My grip was stronger than ever. "You have nothin' to make up for, Dash, but I want you to agree to always be honest with me. If there comes a time that I need to go, I'll leave. Just tell me."

Dash nodded, but his words were different then the agreement he'd given. "That'll never happen. Not ever."

He turned the car into the driveway and pushed the button to open the garage door. "We have the money I'm makin' too," I said, no longer willing to let my money gather in a savings account untouched.

Dash grinned and nodded, his chin hitting his chest. "We might need that. Maybe you can get me health insurance too?"

"I don't know, but I can ask. It finally feels like we're becoming partners." I nodded my affirmation. Better because I hadn't lost him yet. We stared out the front window as he pulled into the empty garage. He put the in park and he cut the engine.

"I don't like seeing you cry," he said, quietly, with his eyes still forward.

"I don't like seein' you cry either. I certainly don't like what happened to you today," I said, glad to be in the safe harbor of this home again. I couldn't help but feel as if Dash still had a long way to go before this ended, but I wouldn't walk away on my own. I was never going to be able to voluntarily leave him. "All of this happened because we were drawn to each other."

"Hmm," Dash hummed, and finally glanced at me. "Very true."

The garage door began to close, a timed deal that always happened just this way. He reached for the door handle, pushing it open, and finally let go of our hold. I watched him go to the car's hood, waiting there for me to join him. "You sure can run. You were at least seven miles in the wrong direction before I found you."

A weighted faint smile lifted the corners of my mouth—barely. "The shoes are ruined." I gestured to where the leather had detached from the sole.

"Probably not designed to run like you did," he said teasingly. His arm encircled me as we walked together to the door. "Beau, listen to me. You have to listen to me this time. I love you more than the life they tried to give me. Please don't leave me unless you can't get past what happened under my watch." He pushed the door open. The air conditioning poured out as I faced him straight on.

"Then you hear me. You've done nothin' more than love me. What's happened is on them and my shitty old man, not either one of us. It's hard to learn that my father put a financial price tag on my happiness."

Mylove gathered me in his arms, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "I'm sorry for your life. Not because I caused it, only that you suffered."

I gently pushed away from the embrace. We had to move on. Find our way into the future. We couldn't do that with all the negativity of the day following us inside our home. "You're on a budget now. We can't be air conditionin' the entire neighborhood."

He chuckled, likely never hearing such a remark before. A lot of new things were coming his way. We'd have tonight and maybe the rest of the weekend before his father played his next hand, whatever that scheduled I followed Dash inside, rolling my shoulders, readying for a fight I didn't understand.

The End