22. …, Dash

Another ten months later

Southlake, Texas

At my college graduation, I sat on stage waiting to give my overly pre-rehearsed speech, staring at the sea of families who came to support their graduates. However mine wasn't among the throngs there at Moody Coliseum. Their failure to show might actually be my fault. I couldn't remember if I'd mentioned it to them or not.

Since moving out of my childhood home, I hadn't seen much of my parents. My mother lived full time in Paris. As for my father… Well, he was everywhere, all the time. Both seemingly forgetting that, at eighteen, I was barely of age in the state of Texas.

I didn't care.

While listening to Herb Kelleher of Southwest Airlines give his commencement speech, I casually crossed one leg over the other, trying my best to stifle a yawn. Over time, somewhere in the last two years, I had learned to appreciate a good, relaxing happy hour. A time of day Chandler claimed was somewhere between two in the afternoon and six in the morning.

Although I wasn't aligned with his schedule, I did embrace the moments of unwinding that helped lift the weight I'd been carrying for years.

Maybe my lack of caring was due to another timeline accomplishment that I wanted with Beau, and missed again. His name vibrated through me, taking my breath away. My obsession with him had faded over time.

For my own mental health, I had stashed him away until he came back to me. In the meantime, I took life head-on, focusing on building my life in such a way that I could always support us. I admitted it seemed silly. The likelihood of him coming for me seemed smaller by the year, but I wasn't ready to let go of the dream. It hurt too bad.

I texted him this morning, letting him know I was graduating. My mind blocked everything out as I imagined staring at him, sitting out with all the families, watching me achieve my goals. Tears gathered in my eyes as everyone faded, leaving only Beau there, smiling at me.

Suddenly, an elbow nudged my arm, snapping me out of my Beau-induced thoughts. The world and my obligations zipped back into place. "They called your name. Go give your speech."

The audience's laughter had to mean they'd called me a few times. I stood, looking around for my notes until I patted my gown. The woman sitting next to me saved the day again, reaching below my chair for the index cards.

"Thank you." I had a five-minute speech to give. Yeehaw.