20. The Anniversary, Dash

Nine Months Later, the Fourth of July

Southlake, Texas

I scrolled through the countless unreturned text messages, wishing for a sign from Beau.

Today held meaning. My birthday and the day I first made love to my guy. I missed him so much.

"Come on, douche," Chandler said as he pushed open my bedroom door uninvited. "Get your ass moving and bore everyone downstairs while you blow out the candles."

He wasn't wrong about the energy surrounding me these days. It had been a full year since I last spoke to Beau and all I seemed able to do was wait for his reply to any of the dozens and dozens of texts I sent.

Like I lectured myself many times, I wasn't a quitter. I knew what I wanted and had to stay the course. Strength built quickly. I had to be steady for when I saw my love again.

With a practiced move, I flipped open my phone and quickly typed a message—an anniversary text, or at least I liked to believe we committed to a lifetime together one year ago today. "Today's meaning is more special to me than my birthday. Last year was the best time of my life. I miss you. I'll be here. BTW, my father hasn't had any luck in your case. He's still trying. I'm waiting. Take your time."

I reread my words, ensuring I wrote with no acronyms. He deserved complete sentences. After hitting send, I waited a second or two before closing the phone to let the text go through.

"Buddy, you need to move on," Chandler said, placing a hand on my shoulder, staring me directly in the eyes. Unlike my family, he never pushed me past my limits until right now. "If it's meant to be, then let it happen. You can't stop living your life. He wouldn't want that."

I was certain about that. The final message Beau sent encouraged me to forget him. An impossible feat that gutted me at the very idea. I deleted it from my phone. He'd come to me. He had to. I saw no other option.

I nodded to Chandler in understanding, fully aware I controlled my world. If nothing else, my focused insistence had to bring Beau back to me.