10. The Climb, Dash

After the best night of my life, I took the main roads back to the resort without even considering the repercussions. Heck, I didn't even remember much of the ride home. Beau hijacked every one of my thoughts, leaving silly grin in on my face.

From the way he tilted his head when he smiled, to that slightly bow-legged walk he had—I'd call it a strut—to the way his fingers felt as he touched my skin… My body tightened painfully. Unmanageable need coursed through me. I needed an outlet that only he could solve.

I nipped at my lower lip as tingles ran like a free-for-all all over me.

Man, the dreams I'd have tonight.

My smile brightened in anticipation as I parked in a reserved spot and took the private elevator up to the penthouse suites. I could whistle a cheerful little tune as I watched the call numbers above the doors rise. Absently, I tucked my hands inside my pockets.

The crazy emotion Beau elicited inside me failed to dissipate. I never wanted it to end. Only to mature in a way that made both of us happy.

The story of our lives played inside my head. I wanted him to be my date to senior prom, and I'd be his date when the time came. He'd be at my graduation and me at his. My plans for my gap year changed. No more traveling the world. I'd spend it in Sea Springs with Beau then go on to college only a year before him. My family's long-standing relationship with SMU could help him be admitted. By then, we'd have enough time under our belts to live together as we finished university. From there, anything might happen.

I smiled at the fantastic plan. The elevator doors opened as the images of us together played out through the various stages of our lives. I walked the short hall to our suite. On each side of the building, there were two private sets of rooms and entrances. We share a floor with my oldest brother's family, Joy's father.

Quietly and methodically, I turned the doorknob and opened the door to be greeted with a dark main living area. That surprised me. I was fifteen minutes late. Back at home, I'd have Amelia waiting up for me…

Another hard truth shot through me. My parents never waited up. It was Amelia there for me every single time.

With more attitude than necessary, I tossed Joy's keys on the closest credenza and made my way to my room. The lamp lights initiated before the bedroom door fully opened.

A coldness tried to creep against my warmth as more truths of my life revealed themselves. I took my phone and sat on the end of the bed. More than anything else, I wanted to call Beau, talk to him until the sun rose, but how did that play out if I read all the signs wrong?

The cold turned colder, eating away at my good mood.

Well, hell. As a rule, I didn't allow myself to curse, but it seemed appropriate here. How had I let tonight end without firming things up between us? Not even a let's see each other again commitment.

My heart began a slow, steady thump of uncertainty.

I should call him right now to correct my error.

Pure adrenaline had me getting to my feet, taking a quick look over my shoulder at the alarm clock on the nightstand. Twelve twenty in the morning. Defeat had me taking my seat on the bed again. My eyelids closed. His image was right there waiting for me. This time I remembered the way he looked at me as he bent down to thank me before he shut the door. The backward ball cap framed his face perfectly.

In my recollection, I noticed something I'd missed at the time. He was aroused. In the tight fit of his Wranglers, I saw the evidence outlined.

How hadn't that been my only focus?

Because I liked him a whole lot more than just physically.

My decision was made, I was going back.

First, I went to my window. If Beau crawled out of them, maybe I could too. It seemed romantic to scale the walls to be with the guy that I thought I loved.

Besides the death trap of being on the seventh floor without even a ledge to jump down to, the window didn't have a latch to open. My plan was foiled.

With my parents fast asleep, I still went quietly through the suite, grabbed Joy's car keys, and shut the main door without even a click of the latch.

Motivation propelled me back down the elevator to Joy's car and on the road toward Beau. I didn't get lost in the what-could-happen-if-I-was-caught possibility. It didn't matter, except for the possible halt in my current mission. Less than ten minutes later, I parked on the side of the road where we'd hid before.

With the engine off, I sat in the dark and pulled up Beau's cell phone number. I opted for a text in case his ring volume was turned up.

For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words. It took forever to tap out the simple message.

"Are you awake?" I pushed send and immediately regretted it, wishing I could take the words back and type something witty and clever instead.

My phone rang loudly in the silence, catching me completely off guard. I answered before the first ring finished.

"Hello," I said somewhat breathily and stared out the front wind shield at where I thought Beau's bedroom might be.

"I'm awake. I'd text back but it costs money." A dim light flashed in the window I watched.

"Yeah, I was afraid to call so late if your ringer was turned up loud," I explained. "Can you come outside? I'm parked on the road where I dropped you off."

Long seconds passed before he responded. "Is anyone with you?"

"No, I'm alone." After several seconds of silence, I added, "I can come closer to your house."

"Give me a minute," he said quietly. I heard some rustling in the background, his voice going lower. "I gotta be quiet."

"Okay. Do I come closer?" I offered again.

"No. I'll be down in a minute. I gotta get dressed." The call ended. My gaze fixed on the third-floor window. It took a few minutes before Beau's shadow appeared in the window then started across the roof. He stayed low and moved quickly until he jumped from the third floor to the second, then down to the first. It was impressive.

I reached for the visor and stopped just shy of bringing it down. The lights on the mirror would put my vain side on full display. Instead, I turned the rearview mirror and pushed my hair in place.

Beau sprinted across the field. I got out of the car and went to standby the passenger door where the cluster of trees was thickest, easier to avoid prying eyes.

Another advantage to this side of the car was the eerily dark night aided in what I planned to do. He never slowed until he was a few feet from me.

He wasn't out of breath, and his hair was free of the ball cap. The loose strands took on a windblown style. I liked it a whole lot.

"Hey," he said, walking the last three or four steps to me.

"Hey." I repeated a word I never used. "Did I wake you?"

"Nah. Not really. What's goin' on?" he asked, his hands going to his waistband.

All the confidence I had started with crumbled into a realization that this was a really bad idea. I had no idea how to begin. "I, umm." My gaze riveted to my deck shoes. Staring at Beau made it too hard to think straight. "I wanted to tell you that I'd put in a good word for you at the docks, if you're good with that?"

"Yeah. Sure. That'd be great. I guess. My nana won't like it, but I need to work. Help pay my way if nothing else."

I nodded and felt my face wrinkle. My nerves were getting the best of me.

"But you don't have to. I'll keep lookin'."

"It's not a problem for me, but that's not why I'm here. I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed tonight," I said and forced my gaze up to his. He said nothing, his face expressionless, giving me no sign of what he thought. "I feltlike we connected… You know…" I couldn't hold the stare and continue. "I feltlike I needed to come back and let you know."

"Okay," he said.

"Wait. Hold on. I'm not saying what I want to say." I took a step backward to lean my butt against the car. I crossed my arms over my chest and forced my spine to stiffen regardless of the sea of doubt rocking through me.

"Look, I'm gay," I tried again. With my shoulders squared, I looked Beau straight in the eyes as I continued, "And I felt like we had a connection. That's why I'm here and what I'm trying to say. Did I get it wrong?"

In silence, he stared at me for several long seconds, maybe minutes, perhaps hours. It felt like days.

"How did you know?"

How did I answer that? Our dialog took on a calculating edge. Did I pretend not to understand? I didn't think so. I sensed truth and honesty from him, also vulnerability. "I didn't know, know .I guess I still don't know. In my life back home, I'm out, but not here. No one here knows I'm gay."

He ducked his head, chin to chest, as his strong arms came up and crossed, mimicking my stance. I sensed something akin to hurt radiating from him in waves. Whatever it was, I didn't like it.

"Have I caused you pain?"

"Maybe." He kicked at a rock until he bent and picked it up. The stone sifted through his fingers in a practiced move. "It's why I quit football. Nobody knows. I've hidden from everyone, but I felt like you knew." Beau's uncertain stare pinned me in place, waiting for a response.

"I only knew we got along really well, and I'm attracted to you. I sensed it when I first saw you at the party. Even before then, when you were on your bike and crossed in front of me. I felt like the universe was talking to me. That's why I came back."

"Nobody can know. I haven't told anyone," he said again, as serious as the day was long.

I nodded my commitment to keeping the secret. The anxiety and worry that I was in this alone fell away. Not quite relieved but we had crossed the line-in-the-sand moment. This could have gone wrong in so many different ways. I shook out my arms from the tension formed in my shoulders.

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. He hadn't said he was into me too, but at least I wasn't into a straight guy. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Thank you," he said.

"And the other part?" I hedged, needing to know if we had any sort of chance.

"Yeah. I do too." He nodded and looked away. My heart sang even if I did recognize the shame in Beau's expression. Both the intense attraction and his disgrace were new to me. I had no idea what happened next but that was okay. We'd work it out together.

"You sure get quiet," I said and stepped closer, wishing I could reach out and touch him.

"It's weird sayin' it out loud. The world didn't swallow me whole. I figured it would," he said. "I couldn't sleep. I ended up callin' my buddy, Scott, 'cause I couldn't stop thinkin' about you."

I stepped closer again. Beau held his ground.

"I couldn't stay away. I think I was in my room for about three minutes before I left and came back. I tried to climb out my window like you do. In my head, it was a grand romantic gesture, but I'm staying on the seventh floor, and luckily, the window doesn't open."

Beau grinned a giant smile. "Crawlin' out the window isn't for everyone."

"You're athletic. I watched you run along the roof and know exactly where to jump down. When you go home, will you go through the door or back up through the window?"

"I'll climb back in," he said, and I stepped forward again. "I've been in sports for as long as I can remember. I used to rock climb for a club. Ilike the adrenaline of extreme heights."

"Hmm." I liked Beau a whole lot.

Beau's hands went to his hair, pushing it off his forehead. "I need a haircut. I should've already gotten one. I've been going through something the last few months. I usually keep it shorter."

I casually crossed my arms over my chest to keep from reaching out to touch him as I tracked every one of his moves. "I like how you look."

His gaze connected with mine. The smile was back. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "Perfect. Like a dream. I nicknamed you Dash for dashing…"

For as long as I remembered, people had told me I was easy on the eyes. It never mattered more than right then. I wanted Beau to believe those things about me. The warmth of his words seeped through my pores. I reached out, sweeping my fingers down his arm. The simple caress sent an excited shiver up my spine.

Nothing could make me move my hand. I traced the defined muscle in his forearm. But even more important than how it made me feel was that he stayed under my touch.

The contact meant everything to me.

"I like the idea of you calling me Dash. No one ever has."

"So what's next?" Beau asked.

I felt reasonably sure I shouldn't outline our future together the way it had been running loops inside my head all evening.

"What's that look mean?" he asked when I didn't readily answer.

"It's nothing. I'll tell you later." I stepped a half a foot forward, being closer to him, pushing my hand through his crossed arms. They broke free, giving me the opportunity to intertwine our fingers together. "Can we meet somewhere tomorrow?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea..."

Oh no. We were hanging out, for sure.

"Remember, I'm in the same place as you. We'll be friends. I want us to be friends. Nothing overt. I promise." Beau's fingers tightened around my hand then shook me off.

"You need to know, I'm not ready to…you know."

Of course, he wasn't ready. Look at the space he'd put between us at the very suggestion. "We'll take it slow. Come to the resort tomorrow. I'll get off work about two. You'll blend in there where I stick out over here. We can go to the docks, and I'll introduce you to the manager. We'll get to know one another."

"Okay. Maybe we could go to the beach. Everybody seems to have forgotten it exists anymore." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. "I should goin' before I'm caught."

I wasn't sure I believed him, but I also didn't want to push past his comfort place.

"Yeah, me too. I'll go wherever you want to go. I have no plans."

He took a step backward, still staring at me. "Be careful goin' home."

"You know this matters," I said seriously. "It's not a fling. It's gonna be hard shaking me off."

I got the grin I liked so much before Beau took off running across the field. Much like earlier, I watched him until he jumped, parkour style, onto the roof. He lifted a hand then climbed through his window.

Becoming a stalker might be an issue for me because I was absolutely in love. Hardcore love.