Chapter 42

42

R uslan and I both stood, offering polite goodbyes and watching as Queen Viktoria swept from the room with as much grace as she’d entered. Once the doors closed behind her, a tired sigh escaped me, forced from the pressure of my past decisions compressing my chest. “I don’t want anyone else to be hurt because of my choices.”

Spinning me to face him, Ruslan crouched down so we were eye level. “None of this is your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” I asked, eyes prickling and guilt gnawing at my belly. “Would you have kidnapped Princess Gizela, slaughtered King Airre and Queen Immonen, and caused one crisis after another had I rejected our bond?”

“No,” he murmured, brushing a thumb over my cheek. “I would probably have ended my own life. But you should not have had to endure Kazimir to save the rest of the continent. You deserve happiness. You have suffered enough.”

Hot tears spilled over, tracing a trail down my cheek. “But if by choosing him, I could have saved tens of thousands of lives, wouldn’t that have been worth the pain of being by his side?”

“Fuck that,” he growled, yanking me into him and holding the jagged pieces of me together. “He would have suffocated you, smothered your inner fire, and you would be a shell of who you are. Your spirit is what makes you the most incredible female in all of északi, and the first time I saw it, I knew I had to set it free. Kazimir did not – does not – see you that way. You were his project, his damsel in distress. Saving and owning you was his goal. Empowering you was not.”

His words were a balm to my shattered soul. A sob wracked my frame, and I twisted my hands in the fabric of his jacket, letting my anguish escape. He held me as tightly as I needed – tighter, even – to give me the safety to fall apart. Finally, my cries turned to hiccups, and then to ragged breaths. Pushing out of his embrace, I wiped my runny nose on my sleeve, releasing a tiny, pained laugh. “I am a mess.”

“Then we’d better get home so I can clean you up,” he purred, whispering the spell to move us to Roc Palace. When we settled, it was not in our suite. Thick steam filled the underground grotto, sinking into my lungs and cleansing them. I inhaled the herbal scent that clung to it, allowing it to open my nose and mind. Lights flickered on, though they were still faint, revealing the tranquil space where no one would hear or disturb us.

Ruslan stepped closer, deft fingers working over the fastenings on my jacket and sliding it off my shoulders. Then, he slipped his hands beneath my tunic and skimmed them up my ribs. My breath hitched as he removed it, baring my skin to the heated air

Immediately, my nipples pressed against the scraps of lace binding my breasts. Steam coated my skin, giving it a sheen of sensuality, and I ran my hands up Ruslan’s broad chest, savoring the hard muscles that pressed back into them. He captured one and brought it to his face, rubbing his beard against it before kissing my palm.

Then, he released it and found his way to my hips, gripping them and lifting me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling his hardness dig into my center. He flexed his hips and pressed in, pulling a moan from deep in my throat. “Your wanton sounds get me so hard, sprite.”

I ground against him, needing the distraction from my guilty conscience.

As if he sensed my neediness, he murmured, “Let me make you feel good. Let me take care of you.”

“Please,” I whimpered as a finger traced my nipple, then twisted the straps holding my breasts and ripped them away. The steam caressed my bare torso, the tantalizing sensation only heightening my pleasure.

Ruslan took his warmth with him as he released me to the ground, but I did not protest as he discarded his clothes, throwing them in a heap along with mine. I hooked my thumbs in my pants and slid them down my thighs, facing him as I kicked them off.

Ruslan was like a god with his chiseled physique on full display and his massive dick pointing straight at me. I raked my gaze across every inch of him, appreciating the fine lines of his muscles and swirls of his tattoos. His biceps flexed as he swept a hand across his head, slicking back his hair. He took his time exploring me, and I widened my legs so he could see my glistening center. The growl that rumbled from him when he scented my arousal sent heat straight there, dampening my thighs further.

“You are so fucking exquisite, Izidora,” he purred, taking two steps toward me.

I remained motionless as he circled me, a predator assessing his prey. The darkness in me called to the darkness in him, and I wanted pain with my pleasure. He came to a stop behind me, and a shiver skittered down my spine as he closed the remaining distance between us. A featherlight touch traced each vertebrae, stopping to circle the mate mark between my shoulder blades. When his fingers found my hips, he dug them in, forcing me to feel his full length pressing against my back.

Fuck, I needed more.

I raised my arms, threading my hands in his hair and yanking his head to my bared shoulder. He nipped there before sucking the skin into his mouth. “Oh,” I gasped out, loving the sting of his teeth.

A hand slid through the moisture coating my skin, smoothing across my low belly until it found the apex of my thighs. I was already throbbing, ready for my mate’s touch. The pad of his finger tapped against it, causing me to arch into him. “More,” I pleaded.

“How much more?” he purred, tracing his nose along the sensitive parts of my neck and blowing his hot words across my ear.

“All of it,” I begged, grinding against his hand.

He tsked, then stepped away. “I’m going to have you nice and slow, Izidora. There is no rush to return to the world beyond these walls. Nothing matters until I’m thoroughly finished fucking you.”

Ruslan’s words, along with the heat in his smoky gray eyes, had my knees weakening. Lifting my hand, he directed me toward the steaming water, guiding me down to sit on the rocky edge of the pool. The stone bit into my ass and thighs, but I didn’t care as he knelt in the water and brought his face to my core.

Low blue lights flickered around us, casting shadows across the walls, but the ones within the water highlighted every muscle on my mate. His shoulders bunched and flexed as he planted the first kiss on my inner thigh, spreading them wide to give himself access to me.

“Your pussy is weeping for me.” Another kiss, this time on the other side. The desire to rub my legs together to relieve the ache there was overwhelming. His thumbs kneaded the tense muscles there, allowing me to open further for him. He didn’t stop as he flicked his tongue over my clit.

“Yes,” I hissed when he sucked it into his mouth.

My head fell back, hair creating a cascade of chestnut that brushed my fingers and the wet ground beneath my palms. The sharp poke of the rock into them only heightened my pleasure as Ruslan worked his tongue over me. Dipping lower, it entered my core, lapping at my wetness like it alone would quench his thirst.

“Ruslan,” I panted, rolling my hips toward his mouth, wanting, needing more.

His massaging fingers crept higher until his thumbs brushed the outer edges of my slit. I moaned, the sound a beg for him to slip one inside me. He obliged, but with only the tip, then flattened his tongue and raked it across my clit. “Fuck!” I swore, sweat forming on my brow as my body heated from the inside out.

He smirked against me, sinking his finger to the second knuckle. “If you want more, take it.”

“Is that a challenge?” I asked, my voice breathy and filled with lust.

“I told you the first time we met that I like it when they fight back. Force your pleasure out of me, mate.” His eyes were molten, and I wasted no time grinding against his hand and mouth, forcing his finger deeper and his scruff brushing against my thighs. I rode his hand like I would ride Mistik, and he growled, adding a finger and spreading me wider.

“You’re still so fucking tight. I have to loosen you up before you can take me.”

“I want you to split me in two. Make me feel alive, Ruslan.”

He curled his fingers against my inner walls, finding that spot that would send me into sweet oblivion. He attacked my clit next, causing me to cry out. I rode his face just as hard as he shoved back into me, and all I could feel was pleasure and pain, the combination intoxicating and sending me careening to the edge. With a scream, I fell apart over his fingers, my walls clenching them and holding them in place as they continued to stroke me.

“That’s it, come for me,” he growled, face still firmly between my thighs.

My chest heaved as he wrung every last drop of pleasure from me, and when I finally came down from the high, he slipped his fingers out and rose, drops of hot spring water mapping the carved muscles of his torso. His cock was painfully erect and beaded at the tip. I reached for him, nearly dragging him forward and lining him with my throbbing center.

A hand wrapped around my throat, forcing me to look up at him. “Two more.”

With a whimper, I nodded against his hand. He crashed his lips against mine, sucking the bottom one into his mouth and sinking his teeth in it. My cry was cut short as he shoved himself in, grunting and groaning as my pussy wrapped around him. Still sensitive from my orgasm, the sensation was almost too much, but all care disappeared when he began to move.

Ruslan’s tongue swept around my mouth, forcing me to taste myself. I moaned, grasping at his back for purchase and digging my nails into his slick skin. His free hand flattened across my lower back, pinning me in place as he pounded into me. The water sloshed around our legs, adding to the slick noises coming from between our thighs.

His length filled me so completely, it was impossible to be more joined together. The feeling was divine , and I never wanted to go without this, without him. Fuck Kazimir and fuck my brain for trying to convince me I should have given this up to save lives. Ruslan was my true mate, the person who understood me, who saw every raw piece of me and still wanted more.

Who didn’t flinch when I woke and found this new darkness swirling inside me. In fact, he’d stepped aside and told me to show him more.

“I love you,” I groaned out, breaking our kiss and gasping for air around his hand.

“I love you more, sprite,” he panted, eyes wild with lust. “You and I belong together. Nowhere else but here. Don’t ever let yourself think otherwise again.”

“Okay,” I whimpered, his words drawing pleasure from the deep part of me where our bond wound its way around my soul. We dropped whatever barriers we’d erected around our minds, and the intensity of his love for me filled me just as thoroughly as his dick. I was brimming with it, and that only sent more pleasure tingling through every nerve.

He dragged himself out, so fucking slowly, and my mouth dropped into an O as he brushed against that sensitive part of me. Pausing there, he rocked against it and tightened his grip on my neck, making the room spin. Sweat poured off me, and with a cry, my second orgasm tore through me.

“Good girl,” he praised, switching the hand on my neck to the back of my head. My lashes were still fluttering against my cheeks as I came down from my high, and he did not hesitate to intensify our connection. A whimper escaped me as he slipped his other hand lower and pressed against my ass. He traced a lazy circle over the hole, making my core clench. “Give me one more orgasm, and then I want to come on those pretty breasts of yours.”

Biting my lower lip, I nodded. He teased me again, dragging his cock out to the tip before slowly sinking all the way in. Working my other hole with the same slowness, he opened me up and slipped the first knuckle inside me. The fullness was exactly what I needed, and I melted into his hold, so much pleasure built up in my body that I had no energy to spend holding myself upright.

“Fuck, fuck,” I chanted, my mind blanking of everything but the sensations he was giving me. The thrusts became faster, his finger slipping deeper, and I cried, whimpered, and moaned, begging him to bring me over the edge one last time. His cock thickened inside me, pressing against my walls, and I broke, his name ripping from my throat.

With a growl, he pulled out, jerking himself before coating my belly and breasts in his hot cum. We panted together, coming down in unison. Wrapping his arms around me, he lifted me from the edge and into the pool, kissing me thoroughly as he settled us into the water. My body was relaxed in a way I hadn’t known I needed, and I allowed myself to drift with him, appreciating the moment of solitude with my mate.

Silence reigned for a few more moments before he murmured, “The choices you made are finished now. There’s no use in dwelling on what could have been. It’s a lesson I learned long ago, when I was forced to come to terms with killing my siblings for the title of heir apparent.”

Picking my head up, I gazed into the smoky swirls of his eyes. “But choices have consequences, ones you can’t even know until after they’re happening.”

“And if you let yourself fall into the trap of endless what-ifs, you’ll never move forward,” Ruslan said. “And for us, sprite, continuing forward ensures we stay sane.”

With that sentiment, I couldn’t agree more. Prior to my rescue, I had no autonomy – not really. Since then, though, it had been one difficult decision after another, and I was starting to realize the full weight of their outcomes.

“Is this what ruling is? Being faced with impossible choices, or ones where there’s no right answer?” I asked him.

“That is what life is. Whether you are an empress or a miner, a chef or a fieldworker, no one is gifted with the foresight to know which decision is good and which is bad. Fuck, even the seers can only provide a glimpse into an uncertain future,” Ruslan replied, heaving out a sigh.

My heart twinged as I was reminded of Immonen and the visions that had plagued her during Béke.

I couldn’t believe she was dead.

“Our choices affect those visions. The Fates like to toy with us all, to push us in whatever direction pleases them or causes chaos. The Goddess merely provides us with a crumb of knowledge to guide us.”

A heaviness settled across Ruslan, and without a second thought, I pushed soothing emotions into him. He rarely shared just how much this war, taking care of all these people, burdened him, as he continued to give me space to heal.

But we were a team, and we always worked better together.

Water rippled lightly against my ears as he pulled me in tighter, holding me like I was his most precious gemstone. “I am so glad you chose me.”

A knot tightened my throat. “Me too,” I said around it, digging my nails into his strong back as I squeezed him with all my strength. “You are my everything, Ruslan.”

“And you are mine, Izidora.”