Chapter 10

TEN

By the time another tray of liquid diet came around at dinnertime, Linus was hungry, exhausted, and just wanted to be left the fuck alone for a little while. He was sick of being in pain, sick of putting on a brave face for his family and friends, and sick of not being able to taste or smell anything, except the faintest wisps of things that he wasn't entirely sure were real or memories.

Mostly, he wanted to close his eyes, fall asleep, and wake up in a different reality than this one, because this one absolutely fucking sucked. Except for Miko. He'd always adored his best friend, but ever since yesterday, Linus needed Miko near him. Miko made him feel a little less crazy, dulled the constant pain in his leg and hips, and cheered him up with a simple smile. Linus didn't dare ponder why. He didn't care why, only that being with Miko helped.

Miko gave him hope that tomorrow might be better than today, and that had helped Linus push through his unappetizing dinner of broth, pudding and a blended protein shake of some sort. It was a lot of tasteless calories, but he needed the calories if he was going to walk again.

Mid-afternoon, the discharge liaison came around. Linus had wanted Miko to stay and give his input, but Miko had taken a much-needed meal break, so the only ones talking to the liaison were him, his parents and Tarius, who had taken over brother duty when Layne and Peyton left for Caleb's afternoon playdate. They had all agreed the best place for Linus was an in-patient rehab in Old Towne called Aspen Grove, for a minimum of seven days, maybe up to two weeks. They had daily visiting hours and even encouraged family members to attend both physical and occupation therapy sessions along with Linus.

On the bonus side, the place skewed toward the younger end of patient ages, so Linus wouldn't be surrounded by a bunch of elderly folks recovering from hip surgery. Hopefully, he'd have neighbors to talk to, since all the rooms were private.

By the time Gaven came on shift at eight, visiting hours were winding down and Linus was glad to see his constant stream of visitors slow to a trickle, until only Dad, Papa and Miko were left. All his brothers (even Demir had made time) and their various significant others had been in and out all day, most bringing him small gifts of magazines, candy or helium balloons. Every chair in the room had clusters of balloons tied to the arms, and he kind of hated them all. But they were given in love and he'd never ask Miko to give them to other patients.

Maybe he'd rehome them when he was finally discharged to rehab.

At eight-thirty, Papa declared it was time to take Dad home to rest, and Dad didn't protest. He was stooped and pale and had trouble standing. Guilt socked Linus in the gut. Dad didn't need all this stress, and he definitely didn't need to be spending ten hours in a hospital room watching Linus do nothing more interesting than occasionally eat or use the bottle.

As if summoned by magic (probably someone's text message), Gaven appeared with a wheelchair, and Dad's lack of protest spoke loudly to how exhausted he was.

"Do you want a ride home, Miko?" Papa asked.

"No, I'm good, thanks," Miko replied.

"You aren't taking the bus at this hour." Linus spoke up with more anger than he intended, flashing back to Miko's encounter at the bus stop last night.

Miko smiled and gave him an understanding head-shake. "I'm not riding the bus. Peyton said he'd swing by at nine and pick me up. See you both tomorrow?"

"Not before noon. Dad needs to rest."

Dad scowled as he bent down to hug Linus. "I'll rest if you will, son. I love you."

"Love you, too." Linus tried to inhale the familiar, comforting scent of his sire, but it wasn't there. Damned concussion.

Who will ever want a broken alpha like me?

Except his friend Rei Bloom had lost ninety-percent of his sight, was legally blind, and still found his bondmate. Linus might never play soccer again, but he wasn't so completely broken he'd never be wanted by an omega. Right?

After his parents left, Linus let his body sink deeper into the uncomfortable bed. He really wanted to curl up on his side, wrap his arms around a pillow, and sob for a while, but side-sleeping was out of the question right now. So many of his muscles needed to be stretched back out, and more therapy sessions like today were key.

Even if he was sure Greco Schultz was a sadist.

Miko perched on the side of the bed by his hip, a newly-familiar spot that was both comforting and possessive, and took Linus's hand. Linus rubbed his thumb over the back of Miko's hand, his much paler skin moving in gentle circles over Miko's. Cream and coffee. The perfect combination.

"What are you thinking about?" Miko whispered.

"Trying not to think. Been thinking too much lately."

"You've had a lot to think about." He let out a long breath. "So I've got two classes tomorrow. I need to start making up work from last week."

"Right. Um, you don't have to visit me if you're too busy."

Miko smiled. "I'll make time for you. I just won't be able to come until around three o'clock. Call me if you want me to bring you anything special."

"Just bring yourself." Linus didn't care how that sounded, he meant it. Miko's presence was a special enough treat without Miko bringing along snacks or books or whatever. "Are you sure you're ready to go back to class?" Miko still had lingering bruises on his face, and Linus swore he sometimes flinched when standing or sitting, as if his ribs still bothered him.

"Honestly? If I wasn't a few weeks from the end of the semester and I didn't have such high marks, I'd probably have deferred until next term. But Winter Solstice break is soon."

Linus swallowed a grunt. He'd have to defer the rest of this semester for sure. There was no way he could concentrate on rehab and his mobility and still give a shit about chemistry assignments. Maybe he could get partial credits based on work completed, given the seriousness of his accident?

Whatever. Not important tonight. He couldn't do shit with a degree anyway, if he couldn't first master living with one leg.

"Guess I won't be dancing at the Solstice Gala this year," Linus said absently. He'd never been a huge fan of the traditional gathering sponsored by the Constabulary to welcome in the new year, but his family had gone since before Linus was born.

"You might be. It's over a month away, and Dr. Westin said you can start working on getting a prosthetic immediately. You'll be up and around in a month, even if it's on crutches." Miko grinned. "And when you are, I want the first dance."

"That sounds like a challenge, Tovey."

"Oh, it's a challenge, Higgs. First dance. Wheelchair, crutches, I don't care."

Miko stared at him, unblinking, and something deep inside Linus rose to the challenge. He straightened his shoulders then turned his hand so they were palm-to-palm in a semblance of a handshake. "Fine. Challenge accepted. First dance."

"Good. Now, you need to try and get some sleep, because I'm sure Greco will be back in the morning to continue torturing you."

"No doubt. I'm sure he's good at his job, but man, I really wanna punch the guy."

"I know the feeling. But you did great today. Just keep doing your best, okay?"

"I'll try."

"Good."

"Have you, um, talked to your parents about last night's fight?" Kind of a dumb question, when Miko had spent most of the day with Linus, but he had left a few times. And Linus hadn't had a private moment to ask until now.

"Not yet, but I will. I promise."

"I'm glad. Good night?"

"Yeah, good night, Linus." Miko rested his cheek against Linus's, their chests pressed close in a gentle, loose-limbed hug that sent small jolts of joy through Linus. He didn't understand them and he didn't care; he soaked it in for as long as Miko lingered there. He really wanted to lean in and kiss Miko, but was scared he was reading too far into things. That him knowing Miko had heated once was confusing him. Linus never wanted to take anything Miko wasn't willing to give.

"Be safe," Linus whispered.

"I will, promise. It's why I asked Peyton to pick me up."

"Good." Even though all the kids of their generation had been taught self-defense moves by parents and elder siblings, especially the omegas, Linus didn't want Miko taking any unnecessary chances. Miko was of-age, attractive, and his scent had become more enticing to unmated alphas since his first heat, and no one was allowed to get too close. Goddess, what if some alphahole cornered Miko at the Solstice Gala?

Linus's skin prickled with protective rage at the idea, and he swallowed back a growl.

Miko smiled at him, seeming as reluctant to leave as Linus was to send him away. But neither of them could stop the slow creep of the minute hand across the analog clock's face, inching closer to the twelve. "I'll see you tomorrow, my al—friend."

"Tomorrow."

After Miko left, Linus pressed his hand to his nose. The hand that had held Miko's for so long that surely his scent had lingered. He tried to find it, to fill his nostrils with that wonderful toasted coconut fragrance. But he couldn't quite grasp it. Couldn't be sure if it was real or his brain telling him what Miko smelled like.

Grief stung the backs of his eyes. "Please, let this be temporary," he said to the empty room. "Even if I never run again, please let me smell again. Let me know my bondmate."

The room didn't answer him, and Linus didn't fall asleep for a long time.

Miko had managed to avoid speaking directly to his parents about anything deeper than "Are you eating?" and "Yes, I'm coming home tonight" all day. They cast him curious looks whenever they were in the same room or hallway, but they gave him space, for which Miko was forever grateful. And annoyed.

And irritated with himself for his indecision over which he preferred: the hands-off parents who never smothered Miko, or the overly-attentive ones he'd craved his entire life, who pushed to know his every thought and feeling.

Peyton was a different story. As soon as Miko slid into the passenger seat of the car he shared with Layne, Peyton asked, "So why exactly did you sleep at the Beta House last night?"

Miko groaned. "Let me guess? Symon let it slip to Hyatt, who asked you?"

"Yep."

Symon Lee's adoptive brother Hyatt was also biologically Peyton's uncle, despite all three men being roughly the same age. Long story was long, but ever since discovering each other, Peyton and his Uncle Hyatt had developed their own sibling-like relationship, so it didn't surprise him that if Hyatt got gossip from Symon, he'd pass it along to Peyton. Especially gossip about Peyton's own half-brother Miko.

Sometimes their familial connections made Miko's head spin.

"I had a fight with Omi and Dad," Miko said. "After everything with Linus, I needed space to just be mad, you know? To feel what I was feeling without anyone trying to make me feel better or force me to talk."

"I get that, believe me." Peyton eased to a stop at a red light. "Back when I first woke up from my coma, you were one of my favorite people to talk to, Miko. You just let me exist without trying to force me to remember my life. You even re-taught me how to play video games, and you never put pressure on me. I could be me, whoever that guy was."

"That's what I needed last night. Granted, Jaxson thought it would be a good idea to give me tequila shots, but that didn't last long." It hadn't lasted long because Linus had called looking for Miko, and he'd told them to cease and desist. Miko was grateful for the interference, or he'd have probably been nursing a gnarly hangover today.

Linus knows me so well. Better than anyone.

"So what did you guys fight about?" Peyton asked as he got them on a main highway toward Miko's neighborhood.

"You, actually."

"Me?" Peyton squawked indignantly. "What did I do?"

"Nothing. It wasn't really about you, it was about me and stuff that I've let fester for a long time." Yesterday's conversation with Linus came rushing back. "Do you want Perks?"

"Um, like right this minute? They're closed."

"No, I mean in the future. Do you want to run it?"

Peyton's profile was utterly confused for a long moment, as he tried to both understand the question and observe the traffic around him. "What do you mean by run Perks? Did Omi or Dad say something to you? Is one of them sick?"

"No! Goddess, no, nothing like that. I was talking to Linus about my frustration with my university courses and my lack of choices as an omega, and he asked me if I'd ever thought of running Perks when our parents retire, and I'd honestly not given it any thought. I guess I always assumed, abstractly, that they'd leave it to you and me one day to split, but I never gave any real thought to, like, being the boss or whatever. Actually running the place." Maybe with my mate by my side, our kids growing up behind the counter like we did.

He kept that thought to himself.

Peyton was silent for several miles. "Then I guess no, I haven't given any serious thought to managing Perks on a day-to-day level like our parents do. I like my job, and I do think I'd like to manage a business one day, I'm just not sure I want it to be a food service business. It's so different from retail."

"That's true." Miko only vaguely understood the differences between retail and food service, since he'd never worked in retail. Only waited tables and worked the counter at Perks part-time, once he was old enough to legally handle the food.

"Why? Do you think you'd want to take over running Perks when our parents retire? Actually manage it instead of just owning it and hiring someone else to manage?"

"I'm not sure. Like I said, I never really gave it any thought until yesterday. Now, it's all I can think about when I'm not thinking about Linus. I like being around people. I love the stuff we sell, and I want it to stay a family business."

Peyton grinned at him. "It sounds like you want to do it. Not saying you have to know right this second. You're only twenty, dude. Plus, you haven't met your bondmate yet. What if he turns out to be some rich business mogul who lives in a mansion and who'll make sure you never have to work again?"

Miko belted laughter that choked off with a hint of grief. "Considering the tiny number of wealthy alpha heirs out there, compared to the number of unmated omegas, those chances are slim to none. We can't all be as lucky as Hyatt."

Hyatt's own bondmate, Dorian Fowler Lee, had inherited a huge sum from his late sire, and while he'd kept enough so he and Hyatt would never have to struggle, he'd turned the rest into a charity foundation that had worked with Light House Resource Center to build accessible, walk-in medical clinics around the province.

And Sansbury itself had seen a big shift in wealth over the last twenty years or so, as more of the uber-wealthy were discovered to have criminal connections. Their hoarded wealth had slowly worked its way back into the economy, with new investments in manufacturing and affordable housing, as well as investments in the neighborhoods with the worst infrastructure, in order to revitalize struggling communities.

While Sansbury still had a small population that struggled with food scarcity and safe housing, that number was shrinking every single year, thanks in no small part to Mayor Bloom's progressive policies.

"My point," Peyton said, "is that you don't have to make any decisions about Perks right now, or even in the next few years, unless you really, really want to manage the place one day. Then yeah, I'd talk to our parents about you working there full-time. Being part of big decisions going forward, all that stuff."

Miko studied his big brother as Peyton navigated the quiet streets. "So you'd really be okay with one day being a silent partner if I decided I wanted to manage Perks?"

"Probably. You're smart and completely capable. And who knows where I'll be in five or ten years? Maybe I'll be so busy running my own advertising company that I won't have time for Perks? Or maybe I'll sell my share and you'll be full owner? Or maybe there will be some massive recession or city-wide plague that forces a lot of restaurants to close, and Perks will be a casualty. Point is, we don't know. But I like that you're thinking about the future, bro, I really do. You're so different now than the bratty little brother who always used to kick my ass at CityRacer Extreme."

"Face it, I was always better at the racing games than you."

"I will never concede that." Peyton pulled up to the curb in front of their childhood home. "So are you gonna bring this up tonight?"

"I don't know. Do me a favor? Don't tell anyone else we talked about Perks, okay? Like you said, there are so many what-ifs still out there. Who knows what will happen when I meet my bondmate?"

I've met him, I just can't claim him yet, damn it!

"Okay, I won't tell anyone." Peyton reached over and squeezed his shoulder. "Try and get some sleep, okay? You look like shit."

"Thank you. Give Caleb a kiss for me."

"Will do. And I mean it when I say you look like shit. I know you love Linus, but please take care of yourself. You're the only little brother I've got."

Warmth filled Miko's chest. He covered Peyton's hand with his. "Love you too." He climbed out of the car without making his brother any promises, too mentally exhausted to commit to anything except crawling into bed for at least six hours.

The living room table lamp glowed behind closed curtains, a familiar sign that his parents were expecting him. His entire life, if someone was out after dark, that light was left on until the last person was home. The family car was in the driveway and his parents almost never went out after eight, considering the bakery's early hours. He smiled at the window as he pulled out his key, grateful his parents were greeting his return, considering how rude he'd been last night.

He unlocked the front door and walked into the warm living room. Dad sat in his recliner facing the television, which was flickering with some program but already muted. Miko didn't see Omi but he could easily be lurking in the kitchen or listening from upstairs. Miko shut and locked the front door, and then hung his coat and kicked off his sneakers.

"How was Linus tonight?" Dad asked.

"Determined." He turned and took three steps toward his sire, uncertain. Dad was relaxed, though, his expression open rather than judgmental. "We talked a little about the Solstice Gala. I pretty much goaded him into getting well enough by then to dance with me."

Dad grinned. "Goading your alpha, eh? You're already learning the tricks to get what you want."

Miko returned the smile and actually felt the mirth behind it. "I learned from the best, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. You get that trait honestly from your omegin. He chased me, didn't he?"

"He did. But I don't think I'll have to chase Linus much. I can tell he feels something, but his sense of smell is still out of whack, so he isn't sure. Part of me wants to tell him what I smell and feel, but he has so much work ahead of him in rehab, and I don't want to distract him."

"I know. I accept and respect your decision on this, and so does Omi. But it does sound like you're second-guessing yourself a little."

Miko let out a frustrated breath as he eased onto the couch. "How can I not second guess this entire thing? I'm going on instinct, not some well-thought-out strategy."

"Then trust your instincts, son. I know it's easy to say when I'm on the outside of this, but sometimes our instincts are the only things we can truly rely on, especially when we're facing things as life-altering as physical debilitation and the mating bond."

"Lucky me, I get them all tangled up in one problem."

"Yes, you have a huge challenge, but we trust you. And even if he doesn't understand it yet, so does Linus. You know, the first big fight Omi and I ever had was because I didn't trust him. But we got through it because we already cared about each other, and we were committed to making things work. Sometimes we fight, we go to separate corners to think, and then we come back together."

Miko didn't need Dad to draw him a map to the proper conclusion. "Kind of like our fight last night?"

"Exactly. I wish you hadn't left the house, but we both understand why you did."

"Then why isn't Omi down here telling me himself?"

"Because he's at Liam's house."

Miko startled. "He is?"

"Yes. Jaysan and Jax picked him up a little while ago. Liam's having a really hard time with everything, and he needs his brothers around him."

"They did the same thing for Omi when Peyton was sick."

"Yes, they did, because it's what family does. We squabble and we disagree, and sometimes we storm out, but we always draw back together out of love." Dad moved to sit next to Miko, and Miko soaked in his sire's presence. He always felt safe when Dad was around. "Miko, I am so sorry for making you feel as if you matter less than Peyton. I am sorry for anything I said or did that belittled you. I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Dad. I'm sorry I said what I said the way I said it. It wasn't fair to you and Omi. I should've brought it up a lot sooner so we could sit down and talk about how I've felt for, like, ever."

"You are completely forgiven. I will never hold it against you when you share your true feelings with me. I always want you and your brother to know you can come to us when you're upset or confused, or even if you're angry at everything and nothing. We're your parents. We are your first, last and forever champions, Miko."

Miko's eyes burned with gratitude and love—so different from all the other tears he'd shed this week. "I know. I'm sorry for being selfish."

"Goddess, stop." Dad gently cupped his hand beneath Miko's chin like he used to when Miko was a child who'd woken the whole house with his nightmare, and who needed his sire's reassurance before he'd dare sleep again. The gesture was love and protection. "Wanting your thoughts and feelings to be heard isn't selfish. You are the least selfish person I know, and I can completely see how you thought we loved Peyton more or cared about his feelings more, but we don't. I know that as your parents, we aren't always going to be the first people you want to run to with your problems, especially with you growing up. I just hope you talk to your friends about the things you hold back from us."

"I do. Well, kind of."

"Kind of?" Dad dropped his hand and frowned. "What about Linus and Emory? Morgyn?"

"Morgyn and I don't really have those kinds of talks. And Emory has had way too much going on with his kidnapping and the triplets, and then his omegin's book tour, and all of Caden's drama with that drug overdose. He doesn't need to hear all my crap on top of that."

"And Linus?"

Linus is everything. "Linus was the one who convinced me to talk to you and Omi about how I'm feeling. We both know what it's like to be the youngest and to never feel like you measure up to your older siblings."

Dad frowned, and Miko realized what he'd let slip. "Linus feels that way? That he doesn't measure up to his siblings?"

"You cannot tell Isa or Liam he feels that way, or his brothers either. I shouldn't have said it, because Linus told me in confidence."

"I won't repeat it, Miko, I promise. But I do hope you encourage Linus to talk to his family about these feelings."

"I have. He's just overwhelmed right now, but I think he will when it feels like the right time."

"Of course. Linus has a lot to navigate in the coming weeks and months, and he's likely to face a lot of buried feelings head-on. Doesn't sound like that's going to be unique to him, though. A lot of things change when we meet our bondmates. Our emotions, our expectations, every step we'll take going forward."

Miko grimaced at the word choice. "Yeah." He considered how to respond and if he should bring up last night's bus stop fight, but when he opened his mouth a huge yawn came out. "As much as I'd like to stay up and have this conversation with Omi, and to apologize, I'm beat."

"Go to bed. Omi will be happy you're home and safe."

"Thanks, Dad. For everything."

"Anytime."

Miko hugged his sire hard before heading down the hall. He stopped in front of his own open door and glanced across the hall to the closed door that used to lead to Peyton's room. So many nights as kids, one of them would sneak across the hall to the other's room after bedtime. They'd crawl under the covers together with a flashlight and tell stories to try and scare each other. They were often caught and their parents always pretended to be put out.

Omi had admitted once, about a year ago, that they'd never been annoyed at the shenanigans. Their parents had loved how close Peyton and Miko had been, especially during their teen years when so many of their friends had begun squabbling with their own siblings. Maybe it was the omega in Miko, maybe it was discovering his big brother might die before the age of twenty-five, but Miko couldn't remember a single real fight he'd ever had with Peyton.

And he was forever grateful for the pep talk Peyton had given him tonight. They no longer shared a home, and Peyton was happily mated with a child, but Miko had never felt closer to his big brother than that night.

Miko hoped to stay awake until he heard the familiar sounds of both his parents moving around in their room, but he was pretty sure he fell asleep before he fully settled beneath the covers. And in the warm embrace of slumber, Miko dreamed of dancing with Linus under a canopy of stars.