Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Aaron stared at Oliver Chism, amazed that the guy's near-death experience had caused him to accept his limitations as a father.

At least for now. He wasn't so sure the guy wouldn't change his mind at some point and file again for custody.

"I would like nothing better than to take care of your son, but that's not how the system works," Maggie said.

Chism scowled. "But that's what I want. Don't I get a vote as the boy's father?"

Maggie glanced helplessly at Aaron. He had no idea what to say. This was all outside his realm of experience, but he suspected that CPS wasn't going to simply give in to the wishes of a biological father with drug addiction issues.

"I'm not sure that's within Dr. Dall's purview," Officer Thomas said.

She flashed Thomas a grateful look, then turned back to Oliver. "I will speak with the representative from Child Protective Services," she said. "If nothing else, I will do my best to ensure Joey is placed with a wonderful foster family."

"But—that's not what I want!" Chism was growing agitated now, the monitor over his bedside beeping as his oxygen percentage plummeted.

"Mr. Chism, please, you need to relax." Maggie put a hand on Oliver's arm. "I will do my best, okay? I don't have control over what the department decides."

"Okay." Chism pressed his hand to his chest. "I don't feel so good."

"Please follow the doctor's orders," Maggie said. "And you must know you need to find a way to get clean."

Chism flushed and nodded. "I know I do."

Aaron stepped forward. "We're working on getting Mr. Chism transferred to Trinity Medical Center," he said. "They are better equipped to handle adults with medical concerns."

"Great." Maggie managed a smile.

"Take care of Joey," Chism said as Maggie turned to leave.

"I will." She nodded at Officer Thomas and edged past Aaron, who followed her back through the emergency department. "That was rather unexpected," she said when they were out of Oliver Chism's earshot.

"Yeah, surprised me too," he agreed. "I don't know how much weight CPS will give to his request, though."

"Probably not much," she said with a sigh. "I can't imagine they'll look highly on a man who thinks you can hand over your kid like you do a car."

"But if they did take his wishes into consideration, you'd willingly step in to care for Joey, right?"

"Yes." She answered without hesitation. "I would love nothing more."

They paused outside the bank of elevators. "Then why didn't you want to adopt a child with me?"

"What?" She turned to stare at him. "Oh, you mean the offhand comment you made about looking into adoption while you were texting with the residents about one of your patients? That wasn't exactly a conversation, Aaron. It was more like you couldn't have cared less about what I was going through."

It was his turn to be shocked. "What do you mean? I cared about what you were going through."

She scoffed. "You never said you were sorry to hear the results of my fertility testing. You didn't seem to notice I was grieving. Your attention was centered on the patient you were texting about, not me. Us. Or our future as a family."

Had he really done that? Made her feel as if he didn't care? He winced as he remembered she'd broached the subject of her final testing results after a particularly difficult surgery he'd performed earlier that day. So yeah, he probably had been distracted. But that didn't mean he didn't care.

"Never mind," Maggie said, turning away. "There's no point in rehashing our past."

He reached out to grasp her arm. "Maggie, I'm sorry, but that wasn't my intent. Of course, I knew you were grieving, but we talked about your testing. We discussed what the likely results would be. I guess I wasn't surprised by the news and was already thinking ahead to our next steps. So yes, I mentioned adoption. I didn't mean it to sound casual or offhand. I meant it when I suggested we go through the process."

She eyed him thoughtfully. "Do you have any idea what the process is like? It's not like you fill out a form and a baby gets dropped into your lap. You would have had to take time off work, Aaron. Uninterrupted time off work ," she said with emphasis. "Something you couldn't manage even on our honeymoon."

"We had a great honeymoon." Or so he'd thought. "I only took a couple of calls; we spent an entire week in Paris like you wanted."

"Paris was lovely, and you're a good guy. But you took more than a couple calls, Aaron. There was one day you were on the phone for almost an hour straight."

He nodded slowly, remembering the calls about a patient he'd cared for that had gotten readmitted with an infection. "Okay, you're right. I did take calls. But we still had a wonderful time." He paused, then added, "Didn't we?"

"We did, but only because I didn't make a big deal out of the calls you had with your colleagues." She sighed. "When you made that comment about adopting, I guess I got angry. There you were texting away while I was reeling from the news that I would never have a baby. Our baby."

The elevator dinged. The doors opened, and several staff members stepped off, going around them. Aaron realized this wasn't the place to have this conversation. But he also knew that he couldn't just let her walk away. Maybe he'd made mistakes, but Maggie hadn't told him any of this when she'd filed for divorce.

"We need to talk about this, Maggie," he said in a low tone. "We should have talked this through two years ago."

"What's the point?" She shrugged. "You can't change who you are, Aaron. Look at you, Chairman of Pediatric Cardiac Surgery! That's even more responsibility than you had back in Boston. You're a born leader, and I get that." She pulled from his grasp to jump into the elevator. "I need to get back to Joey."

He quickly stepped through the closing doors, causing them to abruptly reopen. "I'm coming with you."

She shot him an exasperated look. "There's no reason for you to sit at Joey's bedside."

He knew what she was really saying. Their conversation was over. They were not getting back together anytime soon.

But he didn't agree. Obviously having a heart-to-heart talk in front of Joey wasn't possible. There had to be another way to bridge the gap between them.

Then his pager went off. He felt Maggie's gaze boring into him as he pulled the device from his belt.

"Go ahead, Aaron. I understand. You're working." She wasn't being snarky, but a hint of resignation laced her tone. "I'm surprised you're not in the OR today."

"I have two cases tomorrow." He clipped the pager back onto his belt, trying to find a way to salvage this. He'd have to answer the resident soon, but that call could wait a few minutes. They reached the seventh floor, and as the elevator doors opened, he felt the moment slipping away. "Maggie, will you have lunch with me?" He frowned. "You forgot to swing by the cafeteria to grab breakfast."

"I'll do that later." She waved off his concern. "And no, Aaron, I don't think there's a reason for us to have lunch together while you're working."

"Maggie, wait…" But it was no use. She was striding purposefully down the hall toward Joey's room. And his pager went off again anyway.

She was right, lunch while he was working was a bad idea. If he wanted to continue to have a heartfelt conversation with Maggie, he needed to find a way to spend time with her when he wasn't bombarded by calls and pagers.

But how? As he turned away to reach for his phone, he tried to come up with a viable solution.

One that would convince Maggie to give him another chance.

* * *

Maggie tried to squash the flash of guilt that washed over her as she walked away from Aaron for the second time. If she were being honest, the shock and confusion in his eyes over how things had ended between them made her feel as if she'd been in the wrong.

Had she? It seemed so obvious to her back then that Aaron wasn't seriously considering adoption, that he'd tossed that out there as a way to make her feel better, while being preoccupied with his patient situation, but maybe she had read into his comments.

Putting a negative spin on them.

Still, that didn't change the fact that she could not give him the next generation of Monroe children. And she had felt certain he'd have moved on by now, finding someone who would be able to give him the children he wanted.

So why hadn't he?

Because of his job, most likely. When they'd first met, she'd admired his dedication to his patients. He was still a phenomenal and skilled surgeon. It wasn't that she wanted to take that away from him.

But there had to be more to life than a career. Even Aaron had mentioned how his parents had made things work over the years. She enjoyed being an anesthesiologist, but her work was different in that her responsibility started in the pre-op area, through the procedure, and then for the following recovery phase in the PACU. Once she went home, she was rarely called back to deal with a problem.

Shaking off the thoughts, she considered grabbing a couple of crackers from the kitchen to ease the rumbling in her stomach. Then she spied a woman dressed in an ill-fitting black suit approaching from the other end of the hall.

They met outside Joey's room. Her visitor's name tag read Francis Douglas, but Maggie also saw her state issued ID clipped to the other collar.

Francis Douglas was from the Department of Health and Human Services.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Maggie Dall." She extended her hand to the woman. "I have been staying with Joey since the bus crash."

"Dr. Dall, I'm social worker Francis Douglas," the woman responded, giving her hand a firm shake. "I have heard a lot about you."

Good or bad? The thought flitted through Maggie's mind, but she didn't voice it. "If you don't mind, I need to let Joey know I'm back. Then we can talk."

"Actually, I'm here to talk to Joey," Francis said.

Maggie winced at her blunder. Of course, this woman wasn't there just to talk to Maggie. She managed to keep her smile in place as she entered the room.

"You're back," Joey said, looking relieved. "You were gone a long time."

"Sorry about that." She crossed over to his bedside. "This is Ms. Douglas. She wants to talk to you, okay?"

"I'm watching Cars ," Joey protested, barely giving Francis Douglas a glance. "It's a really good movie."

"Joey, you can watch that when you're finished." She put a note of steel in her tone. "This is important."

"But—" Joey started to argue, but she reached over and turned off the television. He scowled. "Hey! I wanna watch!"

"We can watch the movie later," she reiterated, ignoring his mulish expression. "Don't argue with me, Joey. We need to speak with Ms. Douglas now."

"Actually, Dr. Dall, if you don't mind, I'd like to speak with Joey alone," the caseworker said.

She hadn't expected that but realized she should have. "Oh, yes. I understand. I'll run and get something to eat."

"Great." Ms. Douglas turned to Joey. "My name is Francis. I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Okay." Now Joey looked nervous, glancing toward Maggie as if for reassurance.

She smiled and nodded. "Go ahead, Joey. You're not in any trouble. Be honest when you're speaking with Ms. Douglas, okay? Everything will work out just fine. I'll be back in a little while." It took every ounce of willpower Maggie had to turn and leave the room.

In the hallway, she hesitated, tempted to linger outside the room and listen in. Then she realized she was being foolish. She didn't have anything to fear from Joey speaking with the caseworker.

But she was concerned about the little boy having to relive those moments he lost his mother in the bus crash. What if he started crying again?

Maybe she wasn't giving Francis Douglas enough credit. Her job was to deal with traumatized kids. She would be gentle with Joey.

Her stomach chose that moment to rumble with hunger, making her realize crackers weren't going to cut it. She needed real food. Preferably something with protein. She turned and headed back toward the bank of elevators. It wouldn't take long to grab something to eat, the way she'd intended to do earlier.

Before she'd gotten sidetracked by Aaron.

She'd been surprised when he'd asked her to lunch. He'd almost looked as if he'd missed her as much as she missed him.

But that didn't mean they could pick up the fractured pieces of their marriage, putting them back together again.

Yet she was a little surprised how much she wanted to.

Enough. She strode into the cafeteria, heading to the breakfast offerings. She decided to pick up a breakfast sandwich like she had yesterday. It was fast and easy, compared to waiting in line for an omelet.

As she left the cafeteria, she paused when she saw Aaron standing off to the side speaking with another staff member. Aaron was scowling, as if he was not happy with how the conversation was going. He was so focused on the discussion he didn't see her.

"You're going to regret this." The man speaking harshly had his back to Maggie, so she couldn't see his face. But she could see the back of his neck was bright red with anger or embarrassment.

Maybe both.

"You brought this on yourself, Dale. I had to cover your call this weekend, remember?" Aaron's voice was reasonable, but there was no mistaking the anger in his eyes. "Walk away before I have to take more action against you."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Dale sneered.

"No, actually, I wouldn't," Aaron said, looking tired. "Walk. Away. Now."

Maggie had stopped in the middle of the hall, half afraid she'd have to break up an altercation between them.

Thankfully, Dale must have realized they had an audience. He abruptly turned, shot her a look of pure venom, and stalked off.

Aaron hung his head for a moment, then seemed to notice her. "Hey. Glad you decided to get something to eat."

She glanced at her almost forgotten sandwich, then shrugged. "Yes, the caseworker from CPS is upstairs with Joey. She wanted to speak to him alone, without me."

Aaron frowned. "Is that normal?"

"No clue." She gestured to the man stalking down the hall in the opposite direction. "Who was that guy? Why is he so angry with you?"

"Dale Fullerton, and he's ticked because I forced the issue of his not answering calls and pages on the weekends." He came closer. "What do you think the caseworker is asking Joey? Will she make a decision today regarding temporary foster placement?"

"I imagine she has to decide that since it looks to me like Joey is stable enough for discharge." She was a little surprised by the concern on Aaron's features. He clearly cared about Joey's future as much as she did.

Again, she couldn't help feeling as if she'd treated him badly. As if she were just as responsible for the breakup of their marriage as she'd believed him to be. Sure, she'd thought she was being noble by leaving so he could have the family he deserved, but maybe she'd been fooling herself.

Telling herself their divorce was more Aaron's fault than hers.

"The suspense is killing me. Let's head up and see what she's decided." Aaron placed his hand on the small of her back. "But a bit of friendly advice? You should eat that egg and cheese bagel before it gets cold. I can attest to the fact that cold breakfast sandwiches are not very good."

She chuckled and unwrapped one corner of the sandwich to take a bite. Mostly because she was too hungry not to. "I almost stayed out in the hall to listen to their conversation," she confided as they headed up to the seventh floor. Riding on the elevator with Aaron was becoming a habit.

"I would have done that too," he admitted. "But you know how much Joey cares about you. I'm sure he'll make his feelings clear to the caseworker."

She was touched by how he was trying to reassure her. "Thanks, but I don't think Ms. Douglas is going to be swayed by Joey's telling her how much he likes me."

"And why not?" Aaron asked with exasperation "After all, Joey's opinion should matter the most. That poor kid has been through a lot, losing his mother, then having surgery. The kid deserves a vote regarding his future."

"That's sweet of you to say." She took another bite of her breakfast sandwich as the poky elevator seemed to stop on every floor. "As much as I want to be there for him, I've been praying Joey gets placed with Krista and Adam. As you pointed out, I don't even live in Wisconsin anymore. I highly doubt I'll be considered a viable option to step in as Joey's foster mother."

"You're an excellent anesthesiologist," Aaron said firmly. "Successful and more than capable of providing for Joey's emotional and financial needs. More so than anyone else, if you ask me. Even his own father wants you to care for him."

"A drug addict father," she said. "Not sure that matters much either."

"Well, maybe not, but at least he thanked you for saving his life," Aaron said.

They stepped off the elevator and headed toward Joey's room. When Maggie heard Joey's sobs, she broke into a run.

Seconds later, she burst into the room. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Maggie!" Joey practically threw himself into her arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around her neck, almost to the point she couldn't breathe. "I don't wanna go away wif someone else. I want you!"

"Shh, it's okay. Don't worry, everything is going to be okay." She dropped the remains of her breakfast sandwich on the table and cradled the little boy close, her worst fears seeming to materialize in front of her eyes.

From the stern expression on Francis Douglas's face, it appeared the CPS caseworker had already made up her mind about where Joey was going to live.

And it wasn't with her or Krista and Adam.