Chapter Fifteen

Collin

“So you want me to stand over here?”

“Yes.”

“Like I was?”

“Yes. Only turned a little this way.”

“This way?”

“No. Just. Just stand how you were. I’ll fix it.”

“Is it because of the light? I can be more in the light.”

“No, stop, don’t…”

I was enjoying this.

It was stupid, but I was enjoying messing with the reality show people. In my mind, I was doing both what Owen asked and what Brandy needed. She needed some levity, clearly, and the production people needed to be annoyed at least at some level that the citizens of Foley had been annoyed by their producer’s antics.

I would have felt bad about annoying the cameraman too, but he was just as pushy and rude as the producer guy. He sighed heavily anytime someone didn’t read his mind and go to where he wanted them to, or act like a professional actor who knew where to stand for lighting and things. I wondered if he usually did reality shows or if he got stuck on this one and was taking out his frustration on everyone else.

“Now say the line.”

“Line?”

“The thing… the thing you said before.”

“Oh. Right. Basil, can I have a turkey sandwich, please. With avocado.”

“Now you, Basil,” Jimmy said, whisper-yelling and yanking the camera to her.

“We… don’t have any avocado,” she said.

The camera whipped back to me, and I tried not to look directly at it.

“Oh. Well. That’s okay.”

“No, stop,” Jimmy said. “I need more than that. I need disappointment, anger, frustration, something.”

“But I’m not any of those things,” I said.

“TV show,” he barked. “Give me something.”

“All right then,” I said, turning to Basil. “I need you to know that what follows is not actually directed at you, but is a performance for the camera.”

“Got it,” Basil said, stifling a laugh.

“Now then,” I said, clearing my throat. Then I spoke in a monotone voice. “Basil, I am very disappointed there is no avocado. It is making me irrationally angry.”

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see Jimmy visibly sag. The camera came off his shoulder, and he brushed his hair back out of his face.

“That’s… that’s fine. I got it. Thank you both.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I can always do it again.”

“No. It’s fine. I got it.”

“I’m sure Basil wouldn’t mind doing it again, would you, Basil?”

“No, I’d be just fine,” she said, giggling.

“I’m going to lunch,” Jimmy said. “Not here.”

With that, he walked away, setting his camera down on a table with an assistant, who immediately picked it up and began checking over it, and walked out of the shop.

“All right, you,” Brandy said from behind me. “You can go now. Thank you for staying and making their life difficult. It really brightened my day.”

“Of course,” I said. “I’ll talk to you about our date later?”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said.

Bowing slightly, I turned to Basil, shot off a short wave, and left the shop feeling like a million bucks.

I’d had no idea what I was going to do when I went in there. I’d been with Jesse and Charlotte over at the construction site for a bit as they talked about the upcoming amphitheater and how it should be constructed next to the hotel. I’d tried to get Jesse to tell me what they were doing about the reality show, but all I got was that they didn’t want to talk about it. The more they refused to talk, the more I assumed they had struck a deal themselves to get featured. Something for the band, probably. Maybe they were going to feature his music?

At any rate, they weren’t going to be much help in getting the show out of town. But me grinding the gears a bit and slowing everyone down might have some effect. I certainly hoped so anyway. If it got bad enough, they might ask me to leave, and I could negotiate them not bothering other people for me not showing up for lunch every day.

As I got into my truck and turned on the engine, I was struck by how silly this all was. And how out of my depth I had just dove in. All these people, and lights and cameras, and I waltzed right in and felt nothing. I had a mission, and that mission was Brandy. Nothing else really mattered at that point. It was incredible how that worked, and I was addicted to this idea that I might not be cursed with the anxiety that plagued me all this time after all. Not if I had the right person there with me.

I’d gone stupid over this girl, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The fact that she was willing, at least for now, to just move past the fact that I’d ghosted her for a month was a miracle too. I didn’t know how to explain to her why I did what I did, or why I thought I could just walk into the shop like nothing happened, but I very much felt both of those things were warranted. If she had just moved on, me walking back in would have just been another customer, and maybe that would have been better.

But she hadn’t moved on. Neither had I. One look into her eyes told me that.

I checked the time as I drove, heading toward Dwayne’s house. He was having us all over for our monthly get-together, and this time it was going to be a little less alcohol-themed. Unbeknownst to Red or Micah, Dwayne had been sober for the last month and had no intention of drinking ever again. So our party was going to be dry, and that news was likely to go down with Red and Micah like a lead balloon.

Driving to Dwayne’s, who lived west of me, almost to the border of Arizona, I had a lot of time to think. Not that I did anything useful; it was mostly just daydreaming about Brandy. And remembering the little time we’d had together at Crockett’s, and then in the truck before I got pulled over. I wondered how long it would take us to get back there. Things had been leading somewhere very fun when it all came crashing down.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t been with anyone in the last decade. There had been women. Just none of them were dates. A series of one-night stands, mostly grouped together in the spring every year, had kept me sane in that category. I’d go with Jesse to help lug his equipment around on tours and find myself at a club with some girl who was looking for someone to spend some time with, and boom. I’d be slipping out in the darkness to make sure I was at the bus for the next town.

I didn’t think Jesse knew about most of those escapades. I figured he’d rib me about them if he did. But the thing was, I felt terrible about them. I was such a mess that I couldn’t form actual human relationships with people, and instead relied on vapid, empty physical intimacy from occasional partners instead.

About two years ago, I’d stopped going with Jesse and had dedicated myself to the idea that I would go meet women like a normal person. It had been so extraordinarily successful that Brandy was the next person I’d met and spoke to for more than ten seconds.

The fact was, I just didn’t connect to most people. And I didn’t care to woo anyone if I didn’t connect.

Brandy and I connected.

When I arrived at Dwayne’s, I had a lot of heavy thoughts fighting with the good memories of Brandy, enough that I didn’t even notice Micah sitting on the porch, looking miserable.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Dwayne,” he said. “That’s what’s up. He’s dry.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” he said. “No beer. No whiskey. Nothing. What the hell are we supposed to do all day?”

I shrugged. “Talk, maybe?”

“Oh, fuck that,” he said. “The whole damn point of the liquor is so I don’t have to think about things. I don’t want to talk about them, for God’s sake. That defeats the entire fucking plan.”

“Yeah, well, maybe we should,” I said. “It’s been ten years.”

“No,” he said. “Not me. I’m out.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m headed back to Foley. I’ve got to get my car in the driveway before that damn film crew shows up and blocks it again.”

“Hah,” I said. “You mean the one at Madie’s.”

“Is there a second film crew in Foley?” he asked. “Yeah, there. Right by my house. It’s maddening.”

“I’m actually going to be on that show,” I said. “I went and asked Brandy out. The girl who the show’s about.”

Micah paused, having opened his door, and then slowly closed it. He turned back toward me as the door of the house opened and Red and Dwayne came out.

“Hang on,” Micah said. “Did you say you asked that chick out?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Like… like a date kind of thing?”

“I didn’t ask her to go outside, yes,” I said.

“And you’re going to be on the show?” Dwayne asked from behind me.

“Asking her out, yes,” I said. “She said yes, by the way.”

“Congratulations,” Red said. “But you’re going along with that documentary… and not the movie about our lives.”

“Ahh,” I said. “I see the issue.”

“Do you?” Micah asked. “Because I don’t think you do. You are missing out on a massive payday and being the subject of a movie about how fucking heroic you are because you didn’t want all the fame, but now you are going to be on a reality show? A reality show? What the hell?”

I shrugged. “I like her.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment, and I kicked a rock out of the way as Red cleared his throat.

“All right, so we have entered a new age then,” he said. “One where Collin is starting to behave like a real boy. We, as his friends, have two choices. We can be upset at him for what we believe is a terrible idea not to do the movie, or we can accept his choice and support him going after this girl. Who, I cannot believe I am saying this, might be his girlfriend.”

“We haven’t put labels on anything,” I interjected. “Technically, we’ve only been on one date, and that was a month ago…”

“Might be his girlfriend,” he repeated.

“Fuck it,” Micah said behind me. “I’m stunned. Truly stunned. But I get it. I’ve done dumber things for a girl before.”

“Same,” Dwayne said. “But you know we are going to mock you relentlessly for your appearance on this show. You know that, right?”

“I am aware.” I grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good,” Red said. “Because if I can’t drink today, I am going to get my jokes in. Come on inside. Both of you.”

Reluctantly, Micah hit the button to lock his truck and crossed over to me. Slapping me on the back, he walked ahead, and I followed him up the steps and into Dwayne’s house.