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Chapter 15

Life here was becomingsomething new. I couldn’t believe they’d all thought I was doing a good job and wanted to make it official. I had a job! I was doing well at it! I smiled at the thought. I was proud of what I’d accomplished. While Atticus had offered to pay me multiple times, I couldn’t fathom taking his money with all that he’d done for me on top of the fact that I was still staying at his house.

We’d fallen into a leisurely routine with both of us living and now officially working together. We would get up and have breakfast before we headed out to start our workday. He hadn’t mentioned going on a date since the party at his Mom’s a couple of weeks back. We hadn’t progressed any further than that one kiss. I wasn’t sure if he’d changed his mind or forgotten, so I didn’t bring it up. We’d settled into a nice friendship.

Atticus came into the kitchen Friday morning freshly showered and in his usual coveralls and a plain black T-shirt.

“Here you go. You’ll need one of these to forward the business phone to.” He placed an older iPhone in front of me.

“Really?” I eyed him skeptically. He’d probably just wanted to give me a phone for the sake of it.

“Yes, really. This was the phone Lyric would take with him whenever he was out of the shop or late to the office so he could answer the phone while we were busy with cars.” He looked so endearing and honest that I took him at his word.

“Since you’re officially on board, it’s yours. You can reset it and use it however you want as long as you link it to the office phone.” Smiling, he patted me on the shoulder and went to pour our usual morning coffees in travel mugs for us to leave. “Are you seeing Doc today?” Atticus asked, bringing me my cup.

“Not today. He said because I feel fine, I may as well just wait until next week, and then we’ll have a better idea of how much longer the cast and boot need to stay on.”

We rose and made our way to the door.

“Are you sure you’re feeling, okay? No pain or twinges Doc should know about?”

Rolling my eyes at Atticus’s mother-hen nature, I turned to him and gave him a reassuring hug. “Trust me, I’m fine.” With one last squeeze, I opened the front door and headed to the truck. “The only issue I have is the cast is starting to get really itchy,” I added over my shoulder as I waited for Atticus to unlock the truck. I no longer needed the crutches because the walking boot was fine on its own.

“If you’re sure...” Atticus hesitated by the driver-side door. “Can I take you to your appointment?”

Hopping in the truck, I waited for him to join me. “Okay, as long as it’s not a problem with work.” I waggled my eyebrows at him.

He chuckled as he started the truck. “I’m sure the boss won’t mind.”

The day passed much the same as usual. I got myself put on the books and continued with my work in the office as I had for the previous two weeks or so. It wasn’t until midafternoon that I finally had a chance to reset the phone Atticus had given me and begin setting it up. I was logging into the email, so I had access to the shop’s correspondence while I was out, when something seemed off. The email notification bubble said thirty-two unread emails. Thinking it was just the phone preparing the emails that were in the inbox, I clicked on the icon and froze. The subjects of the emails were nothing to do with work. Holy fuck! My stomach dropped. I’d logged into my old email on autopilot. How could I have been so stupid?

Ice slid through my veins as I took in the messages Derek must have sent.

Where are you?

You think you can ignore me?

You better get back here or else.

Come back from wherever you’re hiding. You know I’m the best thing to ever happen to you.

YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN LEAVE!?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

I WILL FIND YOU, YOU LITTLE CUNT.

The emails all had different subject lines. I could see his aggression and agitation as he realized I wasn’t coming back. That I had escaped him. My heart beat rapidly as I read the message, dated a week ago.

I’M COMING FOR YOU AND YOU’RE GOING TO BE SORRY.

The last one had bile rising in my throat. It was sent only a few days ago.

SEE YOU SOON.

I swallowed back bile as my breaths came short and quick.

How did he find me?

Is he already here?

What should I do?

I need to run.

The edges of my vision darkened and were getting blurry as I struggled to breathe.

“Whoa, hey now,” a soft voice said, but I was too caught up in my panic to register who it was. Something touched my arm, and I flinched away, falling off my office chair and onto the floor in a heap. I shifted back as far and as quickly as I could until I hit something hard, and I shrank in on myself. I couldn’t focus on anything but the panic.

“Breathe with me. Deep breaths,” the soft voice said. “Deep breath in, then out. You’re okay, Bodhi.”

I managed to take a breath.

“That’s it. Now again.”

I sensed a presence in front of me as I took another deep breath.

“Can I take your hand, Bodhi?”

I nodded and my hand was placed on a solid chest as it rose and fell with each breath.

“That’s it, breathe with me. You’re okay.”

My vision slowly began to clear as my breathing regulated. Kay was sitting in front of me on the office floor. He’d been the reassuring presence coaching me through my panic attack.

“You’re okay, just a few more deep breaths.” Kay caught my gaze and held my stare. “That’s it. In one, two, three, hold. Out, one, two, three,” he added calmly.

I breathed deeply until my heart rate returned to normal, then looked around as Kay let my hand go. I was on the floor next to my desk with my back against the wall. Kay sat cross-legged in front of me.

Kay sent me a gentle smile. “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” I said, feeling embarrassed. My face was too hot, and I was clammy and queasy. “Thank you.”

“It wasn’t any trouble. Are you sure you’re okay?” He hesitated. “Let me grab you some water.” With a tiny grin, he got up and left the room.

I slowly stretched out my stiff legs as I took stock of my body. All my muscles ached and sweat dripped down my hairline as I reached up to wipe my face. Kay came back and offered me a cold bottle of water.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, just make sure you take small sips.”

I did as Kay had instructed while he sat on the floor, only he was next to me this time.

“What are you doing here? How did you know how to handle that? Not that I’m not grateful.”

“I have panic attacks. It got really bad in my late teens. All the Papadakises were taught how to coach a person through a panic attack. You’re in good hands with this bunch. Most of us are equipped to handle an emergency between my panic attacks and all the daredevil stunts Lyric got up to. We’ve all had to learn. I’m glad I was able to help. I actually came in looking for Lyric—” He shrugged. “—but he’s not here.”

“Yeah, he said he had a headache and went home early.”

Something akin to sadness flashed across Kay’s face as his eyebrows drew together before it quickly fell away as he turned back to look at me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked cautiously. “It can help.”

Nausea had me curling forward as I shook my head. “I’m still processing.”

“That’s okay, but it can be good to talk about it. I know that helped me.” He gave me a sympathetic smile.

“I’ll think about it.” Pausing, I placed my hand on his arm to look him in the eyes. “Thank you.”

Nodding, he stood and offered me a hand up, which I took. I was still reeling from my panic attack and my legs were shaky. He carefully led me back to my office chair and helped me sit.

“I’ve got to get back to Jolt. You should probably call it a day and get some rest after all that.” He gestured at the floor.

“You might be right. Can you let Atticus know I’m not feeling well on your way out? You don’t need to tell him why.”

Kay gave me an uncertain, assessing look. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

It was clear he didn’t agree with not telling Atticus, but I needed time to digest everything that had happened and what those emails meant. I didn’t want to worry him. He already went above and beyond for me. The last thing I wanted was for him to fret about me more than he already did.

Kay left, and soon after Atticus’s tall frame filled the doorway. He looked me over with sympathy on his face.

“Kay said you’re not feeling well. Would you like me to take you home?”

“Yes, please. If it’s not too much trouble.” My body felt drained. I needed a shower and a nap.

“It’s no trouble. Seb can finish up the day and said he’d call if he needs me to come back in. Let’s go.”

Atticus helped me gather my things as we headed to the truck.

“Can I do anything? Get you anything?” he asked worriedly, checking me over like he was looking for further injuries.

“No, I’m okay, just feeling queasy,” I said, which was true the more I thought about those emails and what the last one could possibly mean. What was I going to do?

In almost no time at all, we arrived home. Home. When did I start thinking of Atticus’s place as home? How did he make me feel so safe? Mind still reeling, I shook off the thought. I couldn’t think about whatever was going on with Atticus. It was just too much!

He helped me inside and into my room. “Are you going to nap, or do you think a shower might make you feel better?”

I was exhausted, but a shower would help relax my muscles and wash the stress sweat away. “A shower, I think.”

“How about I make you some soup while you shower?”

“That would be nice, thank you,” I said, then hobbled down the hall to Atticus’s en suite.

I’d just about mastered showering by sitting in Atticus’s large tub and using the detachable sprayer. I turned the water on to let it heat up while I removed my clothes and the boot. Carefully hopping into the tub, I lowered myself and shifted so I could keep my foot elevated. Once I was comfortable, I lay back and relaxed against the bath pillow Atticus had bought for me. We’d found this was the easiest and most comfortable way to shower. I sprayed down my legs, then slowly moved the showerhead up my torso and over my chest, letting the warm water wash away the remains of my panic. I sat forward, awkwardly shifting to carefully rest my injured foot in the tub but in a way that wouldn’t put weight on the wrong spot.

Yes, this was just what I needed. I let the water cascade over my back, then over my hair. I’d become efficient at doing things one-handed and could wash my hair easily enough. Atticus had even bought me conditioner. I rinsed out the shampoo and reached for the conditioner. Staring at the bottle, I thought, not for the first time, about all the things Atticus had done for me. Some things were little, like this conditioner, and others were big, like letting me stay with him. He was such a caring and compassionate person, and he went out of his way to help. He was like no one I’d met in my life, and so was his family. I didn’t think real families like his existed until I met the Papadakises.

Atticus had given me more than a place to stay. I’d met kind people, made friends, had colleagues, a job. He showed me he cared every day when he made breakfast. He made my coffee just the way I liked it, and he checked on me at lunch every day. I’d settled in so quickly here in Hope’s Ridge.

I owed it all to Atticus.

I was jolted out of my thoughts as a hand touched my shoulder. Turning, I found Atticus kneeling beside the tub looking concerned.

“Are you okay? I called a few times, but you didn’t answer. I was worried.” He smiled gently at me before averting his gaze.

“I didn’t realize. I must’ve zoned out.” While thinking about you.

“Can I help you finish up? You look beat.” He took the conditioner I was still holding and poured some into his hands.

He reached back before I could say anything and started massaging the conditioner into my hair. I quickly remembered how good it was when he’d massaged my scalp that first night, but this time I wasn’t in pain and it felt even better. I bit back a groan as he continued, but when he started massaging down my neck and to my shoulders, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped. After my earlier panic, my muscles were tight—and his fingers were magic.

“That’s amazing,” I breathed out as my body relaxed.

His fingers continued to relieve the knots and aches in my back and neck until I was putty in his hands. He took the sprayer and rinsed my hair and down my back, making sure all the conditioner was gone. Once he was satisfied that I was clean, he reached over and turned the water off. I opened my eyes as he wrapped a towel around me like he had that first night; although, this time felt different. He leaned down to help dry my hair, and our gazes connected like they were magnets finding their way home. There were so many emotions shining in those pale orbs. He cared.

I wasn’t sure who acted first, but soon my mouth was on his. It was a sweet, gentle press of lips, but as he leaned forward, I parted for him, and his tongue dueled with mine. A frisson of desire raced down my spine as my cock twitched. His hand clasped the back of my neck as he went to his knees and leaned over the edge of the tub, deepening the kiss. His tongue dominated me as the kiss quickly turned heated. I felt wanted, cherished, and cared for with every sweep of his tongue. His kiss consumed me until there was nothing left—just him and me.

We eventually pulled apart, breathing heavily, our foreheads pressed together. I reached up to brace my hands on his solid chest and cursed both my cast and his T-shirt for being in the way. Our breaths mingled as he reached up and stroked my still wet cheek.

Without another word he stood, and for a second, I thought he was just going to leave, but he quickly lifted me into his arms bridal style and left the bathroom. He hesitated as he entered his bedroom and gazed down at me. I answered his look with a kiss on his lips.

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

His face split into a stunning smile. “Absolutely!”

Atticus carefully laid me on his bed, the towel trapped under me, then quickly followed me down. He settled his weight on top of my wet body and soon we were kissing again. His muscled form pushed me into the mattress as I spread my legs to give him more room. He’d changed into sweats and a clean T-shirt at some point, and I could feel his hard cock against my thigh.

I groaned and tentatively rocked against him. Atticus kissed along my jaw and down my neck, nuzzling my ear. I reached out and pulled at his T-shirt with my good hand, needing to feel his skin against mine. He sat up on his knees and quickly took off his shirt, throwing it aside. He stared down at me with so much desire that my skin flushed in response. He really was a Grecian god. I gazed longingly at all the tanned skin he’d revealed and his incredible six pack.

He skated his palms over my hips and up my chest. “So beautiful,” he whispered reverently as he flicked my right nipple with his thumb, causing me to buck. Chuckling he did it again, this time leaning forward to take my nipple into his mouth.

“Oh, fuck!” I placed my good hand on the back of his head, whether to keep him there or push him away, I wasn’t sure yet.

He swirled his tongue around the nub as he reached up to pinch and tweak my left nipple while he kept sucking on the right. The dual sensation drove me crazy.

I writhed against him and pleaded.

Soon, he took pity on me and moved down my body, laying kisses on his way. He swirled his tongue around my navel, then kissed just below it, gazing up at me with a playful smile. Moving to nuzzle my groin, he sucked one of my balls into his mouth, all while still tweaking my left nipple.

I squirmed. “Pleeease, Atty.”

I was so on edge I needed him to touch me. A groan escaped my mouth as he licked under my balls and down to my taint. Pausing to push my leg against my chest with his right hand, he opened me up.

Holy Fuck! What is he doing!?

“What are you... ? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” I chanted as he lapped over my hole.

No one had ever done this to me. The sensation was nearly overwhelming. I was barely coherent as he circled my hole, then pushed his tongue inside. My whole body shook as shivers raced up and down my spine.

Whimpering, I clutched the sheets as he took me apart with his tongue. He pushed both of my legs farther up and back to get better access as I writhed and shook.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! It’s too much.” I panted, overwhelmed by the sensation. I was so close.

Atticus slowed his sinful tease on my hole, then nipped my right ass cheek. He nosed under my balls as he began to move back up my body. He stared up at me while laying soft kisses and nips on my inner thigh. I groaned and squirmed at the pleasure skating over my skin. Finally—fucking finally—he took my cock into his mouth, nearly swallowing me down.

Engulfed in wet heat, pleasure surged through me as tingles danced across my skin. I thrust into his mouth, causing him to gag as I hit the back of his throat.

Freezing in place, I tried not to move as Atticus glanced up at me, unperturbed by my momentary panic. He went back to licking my cock like it was the best dessert ever.

Enjoying the sensations building under my skin, I leaned up on my elbows to caress his face, moving his floppy hair out of his eyes as he looked at me. Our gazes caught as he swirled his tongue just under the head of my cock, and my orgasm hit me like a freight train.

“FUCK! I’m gonna come!” I screamed as the pleasure consumed me. Shivers racked my body as I unloaded in his mouth. He swallowed and sucked, easing me through my orgasm until I was a boneless heap. I fell back on the bed, out of breath.

“Oh my God.” I panted, trying to catch my breath.

Atticus licked up my cock, cleaning away the last of my release as he sat up and came to lie down next to me. He gently kissed my cheek, his soft beard tickling my neck and causing me to squirm some more.

Chuckling, he nuzzled into my neck and cuddled into my side, with his large, muscled arm resting over my waist. He smiled and ran his fingers up my side.

I let out a contented sigh. “That was amazing.”

Rolling onto my side so I could snuggle in closer, I traced my good hand over the curve of his hip and across his abs, hoping to return the favor. I tickled my fingers over his happy trail, then dipped into the top of his waistband. The head of his dick was poking out of his underwear. I wanted to wrap my hand around that length and make him feel as good as he’d made me feel, but he caught my fingers and brought them to his lips for a kiss before gently nipping my index finger.

Looking up at him, I worried I’d done something wrong.

“This was for you.” He smiled and linked our fingers together. “You deserve to be cherished, Bodhi. Don’t worry about me, just rest.”

My face flamed as he leaned down to kiss me, so sweetly and reverently that I didn’t know what to think.

Another first—I always had to reciprocate. Usually, I was the one left hanging and I hated it.

We lay cuddled up in contented silence for a while. My mind began to take over. I could feel myself beginning to spiral. Why didn’t he want me to reciprocate? Did I do something wrong? Was he not really attracted to me? Did he feel sorry for me?

I’d gone from the most amazing orgasm of my life to questioning everything.

Why?

Why did my brain do this?

I would have thought Atticus had fallen asleep, if not for his arm tightening around my waist.

“What’s wrong? Was that not okay?” He pulled back, looking hesitant. “I could feel you stiffening in my arms. Did I do something wrong? Did I overstep?”

He looked sick with worry, and it added to my own anxiety and insecurities. I burst into tears. I was so overwhelmed with everything we’d just done, his heartfelt words, his obvious care, my feelings and emotions, and now he thought he’d done something wrong. How could I make him understand how much he’d helped me and how much I was beginning to care for him? It was all so foreign to me that I didn’t know how to process it.

“I’m so sorry.” Sitting up in alarm he took in my tear streaked face. “Oh my God, what did I do?” he mumbled, then ran his fingers through his hair. He tried to get off the bed. I quickly reached out and snagged his wrist.

“Please, don’t leave.” I hiccupped. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I pulled on his wrist, getting him to come back down to me.

“But you’re upset.” He stood frozen, one knee still on the bed while leaning away from me looking wrecked.

“Overwhelmed,” I corrected. “Please, please stay.” I tried to get myself under control so I could try to explain. I gently pulled on his wrist. This time he came easily, lying back down next to me. He propped himself up on his arm and watched me... with regret? I hated that I’d put that look on his face.

Taking a fortifying breath, I braced myself and stared up at the ceiling. I couldn’t face him and talk at the same time.

“No one has ever treated me like you do. No one ever really cared about just me. It’s overwhelming. Please understand, it’s wonderful, but so foreign to me.”

Bracing myself, I prepared to be honest because Atticus deserved it.

“I bounced around foster homes until I was fifteen, then ended up in a group home. No one really cared about anything we did as long as we stayed out of trouble and were in bed by curfew. When I aged out, I was sent on my way, with no care for where I landed. I was just told to grab my things and leave. If I hadn’t worked my ass off and gotten a scholarship to college, I wouldn’t have had anywhere to go. I would’ve been left on the streets.”

He let out a sharp breath but didn’t say anything.

“Then college was a whirlwind of chaos and independence until I met Derek, freshman year, at a Police and Law enforcement recruitment event on campus. He was my only relationship. I’d never had a boyfriend. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was nineteen when I moved in with him. I thought he cared about me. I thought he loved me, or I did until the first time he hit me. He’s nothing like you. You’re so selfless. You took in a complete stranger. No questions asked. My foster families didn’t even do that, and they were paid. Then there’s your family and this town. You are so lucky to have such a loving family. I’ve never seen a functional family except on TV, and to get to know yours has been wonderful. I can see how much you guys love each other. How can I ever fit in? I’m not like you guys.”

My breath was coming fast, my palms were sweating, and I was nauseous with worry. Would Atticus understand where I was coming from? What would he say?

Atticus reached out and turned my chin with two fingers so that I would look at him. He grabbed my good hand in his.

“You’re wonderful, Bodhi. You’re kind, clever, smart, and beautiful, inside and out. I’m sorry you’ve never experienced a loving family or common human decency. With everything you’ve been through, you’re just so strong. You left Derek, and you’re making a new life for yourself. I am in awe of you.”

I blinked stupidly at Atticus. “You’re what...?” My face heated. “I’m not strong. I stayed for years.”

“But you left.”

“After a year of planning, scrimping, and saving.”

“You still left. You should be proud.” Atticus brought my hand to his mouth and kissed the back. “You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Blushing, I considered his words. I had left. I’d followed through on my plan. I’d escaped. The fact that I’d left still baffled me sometimes. Looking down at my wrist and thinking back to my last encounter with Derek, I’d known it would be the end. I was getting my life back. Maybe Atticus was right.

Maybe I was strong.

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