3. DISCONTENT

3

DISCONTENT

E ntering the classroom at the end of the hallway, Charlotte rubbed at her tired eyes. She must have looked a mess having not applied makeup when her alarm failed to wake her. With minimal time to spare, she threw a few cosmetics into her purse to apply after her first class, grabbed a banana and her morning dose of medication, and barely made it to the bus stop.

"You look hungover," Rachel said, holding out a bottle of water as Charlotte trudged up the steps beside the stadium style seating overlooking the teaching area. "Where did you go after you left last night?"

"Good morning to you too." She took the offered water, collapsing into her chair next to Rachel behind the long, curved desk on the third platform designed to sit six students on either side of the wide stairs. She opened the water and took a long drink. "Thanks."

"Seriously. What happened? You look wiped." Rachel pulled another bottle from her bag and set it on the desk .

"I stayed up a while last night. I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" Noah asked as he lowered himself into the seat on her other side. "Are you sick?" He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

"No. I'm fine. Nothing major." She offered a reassuring smile before pulling her supplies from her bag and placing them in front of her, trying not to dwell on the physical contact. Her conversation with Rachel the night before last heightened her awareness of Noah's frequent touches. He barely made physical contact with their other friends. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Noah eyed her for a long moment and turned his attention to pulling out his own supplies.

Thankful to be out from under scrutiny, she sniffed and faced the front of the class. She didn't feel comfortable sharing with people she hadn't known long about the recent events occurring in her life.

Her phone buzzed on the desk. Checking the screen, she smiled.

"What's up, Buttercup?"

She looked over at Rachel. "What? Nothing." She tucked her phone into her bag and put it between her feet on the floor; she'd reply to Aiden later.

"You sure look happy all of a sudden."

She shrugged.

"Come on, spill. Is the sender the reason you didn't sleep?" Rachel gasped, raising her voice and grabbing Charlotte's arm. "Oh my god, did you spend the night with someone?" She covered her mouth with her hands and winced when a couple of guys on the platform below them looked back.

Charlotte's face flamed. "No. I mean, we were talking on the phone, but I didn't spend the night with him."

"Okay, I need details. Who is he? What program is he in? "

"Just a friend. And he's from back home. He doesn't go here."

Rachel deflated. "Oh." Pursing her lips, she twisted in her seat. "Do you have a picture?"

"I do…"

Tilting her head, Rachel stared.

Charlotte sighed. "Hang on." Pulling out her phone, she opened her photo gallery, scrolling to a photo of Aiden and his little sister Riley sitting together on the floor of her mom's clothing boutique in the back room.

"Lord have mercy."

"What?"

"Tell me he's single. That isn't his girlfriend, is it?"

Charlotte laughed. "As far as I know, he's single. That's his sister."

"You gotta introduce us. He's huge! Look how tiny she is next to him!"

"To be fair, Riley is tiny compared to most people. She's the same height as me, though, but we're different in our frame. I weigh more than her." She glanced down at herself. Compared to Riley, Charlotte felt chunky. She wasn't fat by a long shot, but "curvy" would be an apt descriptor. Despite having a flat stomach and diminutive frame, she had an hourglass figure highlighted by a larger-than-she-desired bust. The attention she often got because of her breast size made her uncomfortable. And finding shirts that fit right annoyed her.

At six-two, with a physique that made it obvious he not only had a workout routine but also lifted weights, Aiden made her feel petite.

"So? Can you imagine being carried around by him? I'm sure he'd have no problem picking you up and manhandling you." Rachel gave an exaggerated shudder. "Ooo wee, I wouldn't mind him tossing me around like a rag doll."

Charlotte giggled. "You're ridiculous. Aiden isn't a caveman. "

"Shame."

Noah snorted, and Charlotte turned to look at him.

"Don't start," Rachel warned. "You wouldn't understand the complexities of my obsession."

"Your obsession with tall men? Sure I do. You told me all about it when you were chasing after that one dude who transferred out last month in our gen ed class."

Rachel looked at Charlotte. "Oh man, you should have seen him. He made even Noah look short."

"He was six-seven ; he'd make anyone look short. I'm a respectable six-one, I'll have you know."

"Oh, I know." Rachel gave Noah a not-so-subtle once over.

He rolled his eyes. "Obsessed. Point proven."

"Short women need love too."

"How tall are you, exactly?"

Rachel sat up and straightened her shoulders. "Five-six-ish."

Noah inclined his head and gave her a droll look. "Without heels."

She blushed. "Five-two."

Charlotte pulled out her phone and began scrolling through the article she bookmarked earlier about potential degree options she could transfer to with her current credits, tuning out Noah and Rachel as they continued with their back and forth about height. She wasn't one to care about if her boyfriend stood taller than her or not. It always worked out that way for her in the end, anyway.

"You're thinking of leaving the program?" Noah asked minutes later, grabbing her attention.

"Huh?"

"Rachel just said you're thinking of dropping."

She fisted both hands on the top of the tabletop. "Maybe." She hadn't told Rachel not to mention it, but she wished she had. "That or transferring to a new program instead. Accounting isn't doing it for me, but I want to help my parents."

"Fashion design?"

Both Noah and Rachel knew what her parents did for work. They both met them when they came to visit her two months in.

She shook her head. "I can sew to repair something, but I'm not creative."

"So veterinary studies, then?"

"Oh, lord no." Her lips twisted into a frown. "I couldn't handle it."

"Why not?"

She deflated, recalling the one time she assisted her ma with a euthanasia. She couldn't perform the procedure, only bring the supplies, but seeing the sadness in the poor cat owner's face, and then seeing her ma's teary eyes after the owner left the clinic carrying an empty carrier, was not something she ever wanted to witness again.

She didn't know how her ma did it.

No one would know it to look at her ma while she performed the procedure, but every loss affected her. Her ma had developed a relationship with many owners and their pets over the years, so the loss felt like her own. She loved the animals like family.

Charlotte would break down in front of the owners and make it harder for them if she were in that position. They needed someone to be strong for them.

Her ma took over the practice when the old owner retired last summer; the dream she had been working toward for years finally came to fruition. She loved animals and wanted to run her own clinic, where she could make the calls and help families who couldn't afford care. It meant the clinic wasn't as well-to-do as some of the larger practices in surrounding towns, but her ma felt the loss of money was worth it to keep families together. Charlotte agreed .

"I love animals, but I'm not cut out for that sort of thing," Charlotte finally answered, keeping it simple.

"Fair enough." Noah leaned back in his seat and brought his thumb to his mouth, chewing the side of his nail. "So you're going to stay at UGA, at least?"

"I don't know. I kinda miss home."

"That's because you haven't done a lot up here to get used to the place. Why don't we go out? I can show you a few of the bars with the best music. Oh! And the theater, where they have the best live shows."

Rachel tugged on Charlotte's arm, grabbing her attention. "Oh yeah, the last time I went to the theater, this reggae band performed and there were live painters on the edges of the stage doing these huge paintings throughout the show. It was amazing." She tilted her head. "Though I can't promise you won't get a contact high while there. The shows are filled with smoke."

"Smoke? How do they get away with it?" She never touched pot herself, so the idea of getting high by being around others smoking it put her off of the idea. Being in a crowded venue filled with strong-scented smoke and loud music sounded like one of the circles of Hell.

She enjoyed a night out, and even the random concert, but something about the way Rachel spoke painted a visual that turned her off. Past alcohol, she didn't partake in any other substance, and had no intentions of it. She didn't fault anyone who did, it just never appealed to her personally.

"I have no idea. I saw security while there, but no one stopped anything. I mean, it's dark, so I guess it's hard to find the guilty parties when the smoke is everywhere and not localized to a group. I don't smoke, but being around it doesn't bother me."

Charlotte frowned.

"You smoke?" Noah asked .

She turned to him. "No. I don't like that sort of stuff." If she had extra money to splurge on any addiction, it would be video games. Her drug of choice to escape reality rivaled the cost of a marijuana habit if she chose not to restrain herself.

"Yeah, me either. But there are other shows besides that. Not all artsy shows are fueled by weed."

Murals and music filled the entire town, making it obvious Athens was known for the arts. What little Charlotte did venture out, she always found herself fascinated by the bright and colorful art pieces decorating the town. She especially loved the fibreglass bulldog statues ornamented in vibrant colors standing guard throughout Athens from the "We Let the Dawgs Out" public art exhibit.

Making more of an effort to connect with her surroundings might make it easier to stay, but she already cemented it in her head that this wasn't her place. She couldn't ignore the tug in her heart calling her back to Rosebrook Valley.

"So you wanna go out sometime?" Noah asked.

"I'm in," Rachel said, leaning to look at him. At his frown, she raised both brows. "Oh. Did you mean a date?" She looked at Charlotte. "Whoops. My bad." She sat back in her seat, a small flush staining her cheeks.

Charlotte's eyes rounded, and she looked at Noah, who also had pink tinting his cheeks.

"Well. So much for subtlety." He cleared his throat. "How about it?"

"I don't think I'm ready to date right now, but…" She tried to think of how to word her trepidation without hurting Noah's feelings. It wasn't that she didn't want to date him , but she wasn't in the right place to date anyone . She needed to be okay with herself before she could be what someone else needed .

"Hey." Noah reached out and tugged on one of her curls. When she looked up at him, he released it, and it bounced back into place. "It doesn't have to be a date. I wasn't meaning a date. I mean, I'm not opposed to it, mind you." He shrugged one shoulder. "But if it's not for you, then it's whatever. I just wanna show you around."

"I'll think about it."

As the professor called for everyone's attention to review information for the day, she sank back into her seat. She didn't know Noah well but didn't think going somewhere alone with him would be so bad. That's what people her age did. Dates or not.

Hookups on dating apps were a thing too. Most of those people hadn't seen each other for more than a couple hours before they were sharing a bed. Definitely not her cup of tea. She wasn't opposed to sex, but the only guy she'd been with was her ex-boyfriend. Random hookups didn't appeal to her. She needed an emotional connection first before crawling into bed with someone.

She glanced at Noah out of the corner of her eye. He furrowed his brows, concentrating on the paper in front of him, following along with something the professor said.

Maybe it would help her feel better to get out with new people. But she wondered why Noah seemed resistant to the idea of Rachel going with them. Did he realize she liked him?

The rest of the class went by in a blur of note taking and quiet, making it impossible for Noah to further question her about her plans for transferring or dropping out, but as class came to a close, Charlotte predicted Rachel would have something to say about the date subject.

It came as she packed her things away.

As soon as Noah headed down the stairs, Rachel rounded on her and grinned. "I told you he's interested."

Charlotte groaned. "Well, you heard me tell him I'm not up for dating right now."

"Never say never."

"Why aren't you mad?"

"Huh? Why would I be mad?"

She set the empty water bottle on the table to throw in the recycling bin on her way out. "Because you like him?" She exhaled a soft laugh.

"Oh. Well, yeah, but I'm not going to be pissy if you two hook up. There's plenty of options in this town."

"You really don't care?"

"When the summer session is over, this place is going to be packed with all kinds of fresh meat. If you want Noah, go for him. Won't bother me none."

Charlotte's nose wrinkled in distaste at the terminology. "You're impossible."

"Just telling it like it is." Rachel stood and leaned on the edge of the desk. "Though I'll warn you." She glanced down the steps to where Noah lingered near the door, talking to the TA.

"Warn me?"

"Yeah," she said, looking back at Charlotte. "We joke around and talk a lot, but there's a reason I haven't taken an honest crack at him."

Charlotte rose from her seat and looked at Rachel, a chill going down her spine at the sudden serious look on the other girl's face. Something seemed off.

Rachel leaned in, talking in a hushed tone. "See, Noah's a new transfer. He missed the first batch of classes from fall to winter. Most of the students taking the extended summer courses are going for extra credits to speed up their degrees, but he's having to make up for lost time."

"So? That's kinda what I'm doing. I came in late, but I'm doing it to get it over with faster."

"Yeah, but you're different."

Charlotte's brows lowered, and her nose scrunched. "Different?"

"Yeah. You talk to people and participate."

"Noah does too." She didn't get where Rachel was going with this line of thinking.

"Yeah, no. He doesn't. At least, he doesn't when you're not around." She glanced over her shoulder again. Noah stood in the empty doorway looking up at them. She lowered her voice further. "He's only sociable and easy-going when you're around. At first, I thought he was shy and had taken a liking to you, but I see the way he touches you, and I don't know… he kinda gives me the creeps now."

Charlotte didn't know what to make of that. Rachel liked Noah. She flirted with him. Was she saying this to scare her off so she could have him to herself?

"The creeps," Charlotte deadpanned. "Yet you flirt with him and like him. I don't get that."

Rachel's lips flattened, and she drew a deep breath through her nose. Exhaling, she said, "I dunno. I guess I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm attracted to him, and the personality he shows when you're around or we're in group meetings is appealing to me. That's what I like. But sometimes he gives me the heebie-jeebies."

Charlotte considered that. Maybe Noah didn't feel comfortable around people he didn't know or hadn't talked to much. Maybe that's why he opened up in their group, and by default, he would be open around her because she was in the group with him. They also could relate to one another, both being new transfers. Rachel was probably overthinking it, but Charlotte wasn't sure.

She didn't know Rachel all that well. The only reason they became familiar at all was because they briefly shared a hallway and took the same classes. It wasn't easy to know Rachel's thought process when their conversations never carried much depth. Not that she didn't think Rachel capable of it. It wasn't her fault.

It came down to keeping people at a distance. Not wanting to get too close when things started getting strange. Charlotte was afraid to set down roots in an area that wasn't her home, another reason she hadn't explored Athens.

Another reason to avoid dating the locals too.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said after giving it some thought. She couldn't dismiss Rachel's words any more than she could accept them without prejudice—she could only go on her own impression and experience with the guy. She looked down at where Noah had stood earlier, but he was already gone. "But I don't think he's a bad guy."

"Just be careful if you decide to go off with him on your own. You can call me if you need to."

She nodded, following Rachel down the stairs. She needed to meet with her advisor, and then she could go back to her apartment and talk to Aiden. He should be out of classes by then.

The meeting with her advisor went as expected. Now armed with a list of programs that the credits from her current classes—if she finished them—could seamlessly transition to, she had a better foundation to decide her future. She still lamented not choosing a school closer to home or doing a remote online degree program, but she had more options if she stayed here than she realized.

When she mentioned she thought her only options were accounting or something in marketing, her advisor seemed surprised. She spent the next hour describing the different programs available that would enable Charlotte to work with both her mothers' businesses, like marketing and E-commerce.

The knowledge should have elated her, and it did for about five minutes, but after leaving her advisor's office she could barely manage to rouse anything more than a sigh of relief that she had options. She hated days like this, when the lows were particularly low and sucked the hope and joy out of everything.

Still, with the strange events lately, and the return of the depression she had struggled with since puberty, taking a break before moving into a new program seemed like the smartest choice. Thankfully, her advisor agreed and let her know her credits wouldn't expire if she took a temporary leave. She also informed Charlotte that if she wanted to keep her grants, she couldn't drop out completely, but the temporary leave was acceptable.

Charlotte didn't mention the things occurring around her, or her mental state, only that she considered returning home before transferring.

The line at Barberitos in the Tate Student Center was longer than expected, but the smell of marinated steak appealed the most when she passed by the eateries available to students. A burrito would be worth the wait. It was the first thing in days she wanted to eat. Any other time, she made herself eat so her medicine didn't make her sick. Her appetite disappeared a month ago, and it felt more like a chore than anything to eat some days.

Her phone chimed. Pulling it from her back pocket, she smiled.

Aiden:

Riley is dragging me and Seth out shopping and to dinner later… send help.

Giggling, she tapped out a reply before stepping up to place her order.

Charlotte:

I thought you liked hanging out with Seth.

Aiden:

I do, but I wanted to stay in the dorm. Tired.

She took a measured inhalation through her mouth, releasing a slow exhalation through her nose. It was her fault he felt too tired to go out with his sister and her boyfriend Seth. She shouldn't have called Aiden last night. Pressing her lips in a tight line, she tapped at the screen.

Charlotte:

I'm sorry.

Aiden:

For?

Charlotte:

Keeping you up last night?

Aiden:

Nah. I told you. Had a bad dream anyway. I wasn't gonna sleep much after that. Besides, I'm mostly tired from swimming all day yesterday.

She found it hard to believe. Had she not called him the night before last, and then kept him up on a video call last night, the dreams he had both nights may have faded away and he would have enjoyed a peaceful sleep. Looking down at the burrito in her hand, she frowned. The spark of appetite she felt earlier was gone.

She stepped out of the flow of foot traffic and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes to take a break from the chaos around her. Her mood had been deteriorating throughout the day.

"Charlotte?"

Opening her eyes, she peered up at Noah. His brows crumpled as he studied her.

"What are you doing hanging on the wall?"

She pushed down the emotions bubbling under the surface and forced a smile, sliding her mask back into place.

The day was wearing on her. The brief high from her meeting with the advisor faded quicker than she expected.

"Just needed a breather. It's so busy in here today." She lifted her burrito, scanning the crowded tables. "I don't even think I want to try to find a seat. Maybe I'll take this home and have lunch there."

"No more classes?"

"Nope. I just saw my advisor." She perked up. "Did you know there's like a bunch of different programs I can take that would help my moms?"

"No shit?"

She nodded. "I think once we're done with all our group stuff, and I can close out these classes, I'll put in the major change request."

"Know what you're gonna do?"

"Not a clue." Her laugh was stilted and a half scoff. That problem was for future Charlotte to face. Back in Rosebrook Valley. Back where she could breathe again without it hurting.

Lifting his fast-food bag, he gave her a lopsided grin. "Wanna eat together? We can go outside."

She should eat. "Why not? Maybe we'll get lucky and find a table on the way out."

She managed to eat a little over half of her burrito before her stomach tightened and called it quits. Noah had been more than happy to finish it for her, so her waning appetite didn't seem suspicious .

He walked her to the bus stop, which made her feel safer, but she still couldn't shake the feeling of eyes on her the whole way.

He didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, and she wasn't about to bring attention to it. She didn't want him to think she was delusional and paranoid. The one time she mentioned she thought someone was following them, when Rachel convinced her to go to a late-night show at a local bar, Rachel brushed it off instead of taking the situation seriously. She decided keeping it to herself in the future was the best option. To be fair, Rachel had been drunk, but it still made Charlotte hesitant to bring up the subject again.

If someone was indeed following her, they didn't seem dangerous. Aside from following her to the bus stop last night, whoever they were didn't bother to bridge the gap between them.

It would be foolish to ignore the situation, but she didn't have to get everyone around her in a twist over it.

If they even believed her to start with.