Chapter Twenty-One
Fox surprised himself by falling asleep the moment he put his head on Conall’s pillow, and woke at dawn to ready himself for another long, hot day of anxious waiting and torment.
Kaladas was quiet, nearly empty with most if not all of the knights gone. Fox bathed alone and ate alone, and did his best not to think of the coming days. To avoid the silence, he joined some of the servants in a cart headed for the tournament grounds. He was out of place among them in his fine doublet of white and green and his costly hose decorated with vines of ivy, but told them amusing stories of some of his worst appearances in taverns to put them at ease.
He did not wait around at the royal box. He intended—hoped—to walk and wander throughout the day if he could get away with it although at the moment there was only one place to walk to. A line of boundary markers had been set up not far from the seating and shades for the spectators, indicating no one from the crowd was to pass that point. Some of the event spaces from the day before were being taken down and the healer tent was being moved forward. Fox considered that with a tail he allowed to lash because there was no one to see, least of all Conall.
The knights were a mass of armored bodies in the distance, not yet fully separated into their opposing ‘armies’ although every one of them wore either a surcoat of white or a surcoat of blue. Fox highly doubted the sides were that easy to distinguish in an actual battle. But no one in an actual battle would have been fighting with blunted weapons, so he kept his irritated thoughts to himself. He also doubted the knights would be holding back much, blunted weapons or no. He didn’t think it was in their natures. Even the friendly Byr Shine was trained to hurt and kill.
Occasionally, one of the flagbearers in the distance would raise a flag, but no one moved, so Fox forced himself to relax and remember that nothing would begin until Domvoda was there. Then it would be hours of clashing metal, thundering hooves, and yelling. Back and forth all day, as each war-leader fought to capture enough of their opponent’s people, beat them back behind their own lines, or otherwise rout them. Sometimes, one of those events would happen but then the seemingly defeated side would rally and strike back, which was why the blasted thing lasted so long.
Fox was in no mood to handle Domvoda now and definitely would not be by the end of the battle. He took a breath and stopped his tail, then draped it over his elbow so he could be sure it would be still.
“I see you had the same idea,” Byr Falnya observed, although Fox was so startled by a question coming from behind him that he didn’t recognize the speaker until he’d turned around.
Falnya was in short breeches and hose decorated with lilies that had been accented with gold thread. His tail was in a questioning position. His gaze was on the knights in the distance.
“Good morning,” Fox greeted him stiffly but not rudely. “The king has arrived already?”
“Oh no.” Falnya glanced at Fox and rolled one wrist. “I came early to encourage Shine, but I’ve missed her.”
“Family,” Fox commented, “has always seemed a nice idea, although the people at court keep their finer, gentler feelings about their relatives to themselves.” If they had any. “And other families bicker and adore each other in turn, so I can’t be certain. But it remains a nice idea. I’m sure your cousin would have appreciated your encouragement.”
Falnya gave Fox a longer look. “We’re not really cousins,” he revealed with a faint smile, as if this was something other byr would have immediately known. “Not how you might consider someone a cousin. We’re not related by blood more than any other byr might be related to one another. By marriage a long, long time ago, or someone ancient was a cousin, but it is so far removed that they might as well be a stranger. But Shine’s family live near us as well, so I’ve known her for many years. To byr, ‘cousin’ used in this way means distant family but also connected as friends.”
“Ah.” Fox refused to blush because it wasn’t his fault the byr were ridiculous. “You can’t say ‘friend?’ Byr are that removed from their emotions even when far from the capital and the court? It isn’t as though it’s a crime to be fond of someone.”
Byr Falnya turned to face Fox, his expression curious. “Do you claim all your friends so openly here?”
“All my…?” Fox stared blankly back at him until Falnya gestured toward the field full of posturing knights.
“Oh.” Fox quirked a smile. “They aren’t my friends. We are friendly through circumstance. Outside of Kaladas, they are still byr and I am still not.”
Falnya drew his eyebrows together thoughtfully and did not return to his search for Shine. “You’re very conscious of your place.”
Fox bent down to dust any grass or dirt from his slippers. “Anyone like me would be, even if not reminded every single day.” Which of course he was, in a thousand small ways.
“There are many who tell tales of you,” Falnya replied after a slight pause, even seeming to hesitate when Fox stood back up. “They assume you have planned, or perhaps plan, on being consort. That all of this is Domvoda trying to resist you.”
Fox lowered his arm, dropping his tail in his shock. “What?” he demanded, surprised his voice was even and not a screech. “Who at court would seriously think that? Even if I wanted that—a street musician as consort to the king? Fantasy. I couldn’t even be bearer, not a real, acknowledged one. Not that I would have,” he added quickly out of reflex, then tossed his head. “Really?” He should have laughed although it wasn’t funny. “In all the gossip and rumors, I am successfully scheming to be consort? The Fox as Domvoda’s real or pretended beloved? And he can’t resist me?” He scoffed. “How unsettling it must have been to arrive here and discover me banished from his side instead.”
Although, Domvoda had put Fox right back there, hadn’t he? Fox had assumed Domvoda had done it to mess with the Potentials or Conall, but here was an aspect he hadn’t considered. Domvoda might have also believed Fox had wanted to be consort all along and had been enjoying what he’d perceived as Fox’s humiliation. That seemed especially cruel, even for him, but Fox couldn’t quite dismiss it.
“No.” Fox was firm. He met Falnya’s stare. “For many reasons, it never crossed my mind. And anyway, wouldn’t have been possible.”
“It would have been,” Falnya corrected immediately in his measured, calm voice, “for a mating. If the king was brave enough to follow his heart. It would have been allowed if he stood by you. Exceptions are made for that even among the byr, although we hate to do it.”
“Those are stories,” Fox answered incredulously. “And regardless, that isn’t…” he turned toward the field so he wouldn’t have to see Falnya’s reaction to the obvious truth, “why Domvoda wanted me. Which is fine,” he added with a passable smile. “Because again, I’m not a bearer.” He tucked his tail back over his arm. “So you and the others can stop thinking of me as a threat. The fact that you do is why he has been parading me before you the past few days. He thinks it’s funny, or he wants to know what you’ll do. He likes to test people, though I wish he wouldn’t.”
Falnya’s eyes widened. “And you’re just… telling me this?”
Fox shrugged, although he was not even slightly comfortable or relaxed. “I think you know already. At least, you do. Maybe not the others.”
“Do not rule out Din,” Falnya answered following a moment of reflection. “His mind is quick. But he has an unwise, overbearing family giving him poor advice, and also… I suspect he has more in common with you than you might think. There is an innocence.”
Conall had said that too. Fox debated scowling to show his displeasure but, in the end, only sighed. “Byr Shine thinks I am young.”
Falnya laughed, not for long, but enough to bring the scowl to Fox’s face despite all the courtly manners he’d learned.
“Admittedly,” Falnya explained himself, eyes bright, “the stories portray you as something other than what you are. Perhaps because no one has done what you have done outside of songs and legends, and that is usually for love. A passion-struck king raising up a milkmaid. A chief loving the lowest of her warriors, and so on.”
Those legends always cheered for the royalty marrying or loving someone beneath them, but never had a king abandon his throne to go become a shepherd. That said a lot about the byr.
Falnya considered Fox and Fox’s displeased expression and his amusement left him. “So, you see, it was a surprise to meet you, and hear you, and realize….” Falnya stopped, then began again, delicately. “My bearer, like you, does not care for these events and so she isn’t here today, but she made an observation when we first saw you. ‘The famous Fox is so young,’ she said. What she meant was that you stand out, but you stand alone. You are a small island, different from everyone around you. While I am not much older than you, I think that is true. And more than that, I think it would be true even if you were not surrounded by byr. You would be different if you were in the crowd of spectators who will arrive later, or working in an inn. You are beautiful, and brave, and… young.” Falnya took a breath, something Fox was incapable of doing. “And my bearer worried after a few days here, because she could see you had no parent or anyone else around to advise you or protect you.”
“I can protect myself,” Fox pushed it out, then dragged in what air he could.
Falnya was as irritatingly calm for Fox as he was for Domvoda. “Certainly. But like those who fought yesterday for the experience, like my Shine, here you were outmatched from the start.”
Fox narrowed his eyes, then caught himself and tried to look away and respond with at least some lightness. “Because I’m not one of you.”
“Yes,” Falnya agreed. “Like Shine, who is no good for smaller courts and certainly not meant to circle around the king. Everyone here has done that for years, though the king has not made it easy for them. These byr are as sharp as shell pieces. You are not.”
“The Fox has teeth,” Fox replied, eyebrows raised.
Falnya agreed with him again. “Yes. But what is a fox to a dragon?”
Fox nearly jumped at that description of Domvoda and his court. It would not be considered a compliment to most though Domvoda might have liked it. That was, until he looked at Conall.
Fox shook away the distracted thought because the byr in front of him was more important at the moment. Byr Falnya might mean what he was saying and genuinely believe Fox needed this warning, or he might be trying to get rid of Fox, not believing Fox’s insistence that he had no desire to be consort.
Byr thought that way. Even the byr who weren’t from Domvoda’s court might. But it was a strange approach to take if it was an attack. There was nearly a compliment in it. Some pity too, although Fox did not shrink from that like a byr full of their own consequence.
“What would your bearer say if she were advising me like one of your cousins?” He was genuinely curious.
Falnya smiled gently. “I don’t know. I can ask.”
Fox waved that off, still curious. “She’s pushing you toward that dragon.”
Falnya’s smile changed, losing some of its warmth. “She believes I can handle him.”
Fox wasn’t sure that wasn’t true, now. But didn’t think that was much of a life, being a bearer for and enduring years with someone who had to be ‘handled.’ “Then what would you say to someone like me?”
“A provocative question.” Falnya seemed to like that. “The dragon might be in love with you,” he declared thoughtfully. “He might want to keep you. He is certainly fascinated with you, as so many are. But he does not protect you. There is no shelter beneath his wing.”
Fox dropped his gaze and swallowed. Hearing that, he was again barely more than a child, making his way with a sweet face and a flute, earning meals by playing at village fairs where he watched others his age kiss and pledge to marry, or give flowers simply to give them and make their beloved smile. No one had mentioned protection in those moments, not that he’d heard, but maybe it was understood, like the byr and their cousins.
He looked back up. “Is that something someone who loves me should do?”
There were different kinds of pity. Falnya drew his brows together to consider Fox with sadness in his eyes. He nodded.
“Ah.” Fox nodded in return, but it was absent. “And I suppose I should protect them as well. That will perhaps be useful to know someday in the future.”
Falnya gestured with an open hand as if to appease him. “Of course, if you aren’t looking for love, then that doesn’t matter.”
Fox cut Falnya a look. “Does it matter to you?”
In a victory of some kind, the question made Falnya glance away. “I am suitable to be a bearer and would raise a child well, protecting the child from all threats. I am smart, and capable, and would make a good consort.”
Fox believed it. “Not interested in love?”
“I would not say that. We byr are not all as cold as you imagine us. We can feel the stirrings of the heart, and passion, and affection. I have felt those things.” Falnya looked at Fox again. “But it’s unlikely that I would with him, and I don’t believe he’d want me to.”
“Passion?” Fox echoed with surprise, wondering if Falnya meant desire or the greater passion that led to immediate matings. Then, before the rest of his thoughts had solidified, he looked out toward the knights and then back at Falnya. Being here just after dawn to show support seemed like something someone in love might do. “Shine?” he guessed.
He did not get a denial.
Falnya sighed. “Clever Fox.”
Fox shrugged. “Figuring out what people want—and what they want to hear—could determine if I ate that day or not.”
Falnya looked at him, wide-eyed, then scoffed. But what he said was, “If you are loyal to him and plan on telling him, you may. There is no threat to him there. Shine does not feel love or passion for me. She has a heart like a sunrise but finds me confusing. And stuffy, I believe.”
It could have been a lie, but Fox couldn’t imagine anyone choosing this lie to appeal to him, or to anyone. If anything, it gave Domvoda a reason to reject Falnya and be done with one of his Potentials. Which he would probably like.
That meant it was likely real, and for that, Fox had to look away. Falnya did as well, leaving them both standing side by side to watch the distant knights.
“I thought you’d be the one to handle him the best from the very first day,” Fox revealed. It was weighty praise, though not enough to soothe a yearning heart. “Conall too. That is, Byr Conall also thought so.” He cleared his throat unnecessarily. “I can also tell you that though she and I only spoke once, Byr Shine considers you someone far greater and wiser than she will ever be. You might hear that and think it makes no sense, so let me then tell you that you are both byr, but you are above her. That is how the byr treat the knights, with few exceptions. All the knights know this, know their place. So Shine accepts this as she accepts that you might be consort to a king. Other people, you, might imagine whatever you like. She would never dream of reaching so high. I don’t know if she wants to,” Fox added quickly, not about to start fires in dry grass. “But I don’t think it would occur to her to try.”
When Falnya did not speak, Fox continued, “Perhaps if the byr spent less time imagining that commoners are desperate to join them instead of simply wanting easier lives or the chance to wear fine clothes, and focused instead on the passion songs where ordinary people fight for their happiness, they would see the world through new eyes.”
“There are the teeth,” Falnya remarked in an affected voice, facing away from Fox.
“Just so,” Fox agreed. “And they are why he keeps me around.”
Falnya turned to Fox, unsmiling. “You should ask Byr Conall about that.” Then he inclined his head. “The king planned to arrive early as well. We should probably wait for him in the box.” He gestured gracefully for Fox to join him and walked slowly in that direction until Fox reached his side. They continued on in silence.