12. Lorin

Chapter twelve

Lorin

R ight.

Okay.

So, his fox familiar was a fox shifter.

Nothing to freak out about.

Only he was on the verge of hyperventilating as the news sank in, his whole world rearranging itself around the idea. Was this some kind of cosmic fuck you? Fate making him walk in his parents' footsteps?

He let out a shuddering breath, not wanting to think about it lest he become paralyzed.

Instead, he turned his mind to Kit himself, who wasn't an animal. He was able to change back into a human. And that human was…beyond pretty. Now that he wasn't a ghost murderer out to get him, Lorin's brain could process the input it was getting. Hair so light it was almost white, a compact body that was too distracting. Skin pale but so radiant. Amber eyes that had reflected the candlelight in the room.

Okay. That road in his mind wasn't safe either.

Lorin lay in the dark, Kit blissfully settled next to him, curled up and back to sleep, clearly exhausted by the turmoil of the day.

Lorin was too. The fatigue was creeping into his bones, settling deep. He needed sleep. Now that he knew he wasn't being killed, probably, he just needed to sleep for a bit and then in the morning, he'd find a way to figure everything out.

But his mind wouldn't turn off. It was on the verge of imploding.

He'd tried to call his grandma again, multiple times, in his panic, but after the midnight wake-up call, he assumed she was either ignoring him purposefully or had switched her phone off…also purposefully to ignore him. He had no idea where else to turn to for answers. He couldn't remember much about shifters. How they worked. His grandma had told him stories when he was really little, of men turning into animals. They were substitutes for his father, and as soon as he'd been old enough to realize that he'd asked her to stop. It hurt too much.

But he didn't know how much of those stories had been fiction and how much was truth.

He needed resources. Information.

Kit seemed to have no control over his shift. Now he could look back on it through clear eyes, he could see that Kit had been trying to tell him since they'd bonded.

Beyond his own issues, he needed to work that out. A shifter who couldn't shift was a pretty big red flag. He'd been checked over physically, but something magically must be very wrong.

The Magic Shop was there for another day. He could always head there and get more books on familiars who were also shifters. Ask The Owner if he had any idea on why Kit seemed unable to shift at will. If anyone had heard of that, surely he had.

It was between one spinning thought and the next that he finally succumbed to sleep.

He woke up drooling on his own cheek, completely disorientated. Kit shifted in his sleep next to him, having tucked himself under his armpit, looking adorable and completely innocuous.

Had last night been some elaborate dream?

He groggily looked over, spotted the mason jar, and froze. He raised his hand and found the new marking on his finger, the shape very much real.

His fox was a shifter.

He felt his stomach flip, not sure he wasn't about to throw up. And then he caught sight of the clock in his peripheral vision.

It was one o'clock in the afternoon.

They'd wasted half the day already.

He sprang off the sofa and fell flat onto the floor. Kit startled awake and made a curious noise while Lorin cursed.

"We overslept!"

Anxiety about Kit being a shifter at all was usurped by the worry that something was very wrong with him and his chance to figure it out was slipping away by the minute. He tore around the house, pulling on enough clothes to battle the weather, then rocketed out of the house with Kit tight on his heels.

The bike ride into town was torturous. His stomach was empty. He'd had no fluids. He couldn't make his legs pedal fast enough, and the ice and snow made it treacherous, but he was a man on a mission and he eventually made it to the shoveled streets of town.

Until he rounded the corner and his heart dropped at the sight before him.

"You're leaving?" Lorin hopped off the bike, panting and red in the face. He barely had the presence of mind to make sure it was leaning against the wall of the building where the Magic Shop was set up.

Kit was already out of the basket, winding his way around Lorin's legs and yipping at The Owner. The man was pulling the sign for the shop down, tucking it away in a cart filled with things Lorin recognized from inside the shop.

"I am, yes," The Owner said. "I was supposed to stay another day, but unfortunately an urgent matter came up and I'm leaving earlier than intended."

"But I needed some things!" Lorin said, running a hand through his hair and feeling the panic rising back up.

He looked down at Kit and felt his heart drum with worry and anxiety. He had to help Kit. It was his duty and his responsibility. Kit was his familiar, and Lorin would do whatever he could to make sure he was okay.

"I will be back earlier than planned due to cutting this visit short, you don't need to worry," The Owner said, but Lorin shook his head.

"That's still too long! There are things that need to be figured out as soon as possible!"

"My, my. That does sound rather serious." The Owner scratched under his chin with the tip of his walking cane. "How about you let me in on what it is, and I can, at the very least, offer some advice?"

"My familiar is a shifter," Lorin said, pointing at Kit, who was staring up at them with wide eyes and his ears up.

"Aha." The Owner nodded, looking at Lorin like he was expecting him to continue. His face betrayed nothing other than polite curiosity.

Lorin frowned. "You don't seem surprised."

The Owner tilted his head, the top hat sliding slightly to the side. "Should I be?"

Lorin widened his eyes. "You knew?"

"Yes, well." He smiled. "It was rather obvious, wasn't it?"

"Not to me, it wasn't!"

"Apologies," he said, not sounding the least bit sincere, his eyes twinkling. "It didn't occur to me that you might not have known. But now you do! So all is well!"

"No, all is not well," Lorin said. "He can't shift back to human."

"Oh?" That got The Owner's attention finally, and he looked down at Kit, who was practically vibrating out of his fur next to their feet. "At all?"

"He's managed a few times, but only for a few seconds, and I don't think any of those were voluntary," Lorin said. "He looked just as confused as I was when it happened. And he couldn't stop himself from shifting back into his fox form. He wanted to let me know he was a shifter but couldn't hold a shift to do that."

The Owner fell silent at that, a frown etched onto his forehead.

"That is rather unusual," he murmured, and Lorin wondered how often he'd ever said that. "Unfortunately, I cannot delay my departure. However, I will look into the Magic Shop's resources and send over the things I feel might be helpful to you."

"Soon?" Lorin asked.

"As soon as I physically can. But in the meantime, this town has a very well-stocked public library. I can assure you that you'll find at least something there to get you started."

"The library?"

"Words are power, young witch. Take the advice. Go see what they have to offer. It should give you enough to get started until I can do my part."

With that, he packed the last of his things and just…vanished into thin air right in front of Lorin. The building where the shop had been housed remained intact, but empty, no traces of the bustling magical business to be seen.

Not even a speck of dust remained as Lorin found himself completely alone in the middle of the narrow street.

He looked down at Kit, who huffed up at him, rubbing his head against Lorin's ankle before hopping back into the basket.

He stared at Lorin expectantly, front paws braced at the edge of the basket.

Lorin looked back into those amber eyes, realizing just how human they looked. Now that he knew what was behind them, he could tell Kit was so much more than a mischievous fox.

"To the library?" Lorin asked, and Kit yipped at him, scratching the basket as he wiggled.

Lorin straddled the bike and turned it around before pushing off and heading toward the library. He had no idea how it had never occurred to him to go there in the first place. It was just a testament to how bent out of shape he was about all of the changes to his life. He hoped it was still in the same spot, because he had no patience to look for it.

Luck was on his side, at least for this, because just two blocks away, he saw the old, ornate building casting its shadow onto the empty street in front of it. Snow was piled up at its corners and there were bike stands by the entrance.

Lorin secured his bike and made his way inside, Kit hot on his heels.

The place hadn't changed a single bit—not the looks and not the feeling it gave Lorin whenever he stepped inside. It was still gorgeous, with marble and gold trimmings everywhere. It was still large enough for your steps to echo but made comfortable enough with the plush carpets in the middle of the hallways. And it still felt like the most magical, safe, comforting place ever.

The foyer was separated from the main library area with double wooden doors, currently held wide open by two beautifully carved brass hooks on each side. Lorin walked inside, returning polite greetings from the few people passing by and watching Kit as he did his very best to avoid interacting with any familiar that even dared to look his way. The larger ones like cats and dogs paid very little mind to his attempts at posturing.

His fox, apparently, was not the friendliest animal. Lorin chuckled when Kit batted a paw at a sparrow familiar, scurrying away before the poor bird could recover enough to try and retaliate. He pressed himself close to Lorin and stayed glued to his side as they approached the large front desk.

There was a young-looking woman working behind it, with big, round glasses making her eyes look huge and a curly bob framing her small face. She was all smiles when they approached, and Lorin found himself feeling instantly at ease, partly because she clearly didn't know who he was, as there was zero curiosity or question in her expression when she looked at him.

"Hello. How can I help you today?"

"Hi, um…" Lorin leaned against the wooden surface. "Do I need a membership card to look for some books?"

"If you plan on reading them in here, then no," she said. "But if you'd like to check something out, then yes, you will need one."

Lorin mulled it over for a second before deciding that as much as he loved the library, he'd still rather do his research back home than out in the open where everyone could see.

"Okay, I'd like to join then," he said, and she beamed at him as if the information was the best she'd had the privilege of hearing in a long while.

"Excellent," she said. "I'll need you to fill out this form for me, so we can confirm you have your address here in Oak's Hollow. Membership is free in that case."

She handed him a sheet of paper and a pen, and Lorin set to filling out his personal information. He handed the filled form back to her and it was over before he could even blink.

"Awesome," she said. "You can browse the shelves and pick what you want and I'll have your card ready and waiting for you when you're ready for checkout."

"Sounds good," Lorin said, looking around and realizing he had no idea where to start. "Um, would you mind pointing me in the right direction?"

"No problem. What are you interested in?"

"Books on familiars," he told her, and she hummed, looking around the library as if cataloging what they had inside it.

"Anything in particular or just in general?"

Given he didn't really want to advertise Kit's status before they could figure out what the issue was with him, he shrugged. "Anything and everything. I'm in a bit of a research spiral and familiars are my recent subject of interest," he told her, going for casual and aloof.

"Ah, gotcha. Well you can start on the second floor. Head over to the right once you climb up and count three shelves from the window on the far right. The bulk of our inventory on familiars is there. See if you can find something that interests you. If not, we can try to narrow things down for you."

"Thank you," he said, returning the friendly smile. "I'll let you know."

"I'll be here. Just call for Stella. Have fun researching!"

He nodded and headed for the stairs, heading up and locating the correct shelf in no time. The floor was almost completely empty, save for a few people already settled into comfortable chairs around the shelves. The only sounds he could hear were his and Kit's footsteps and the soft rustling of pages being turned.

The place smelled of wood polish and dust, just as he remembered, and Lorin was reminded of just how much he loved libraries and all the scents and sounds that came with them. This time though, there was something else in the air too. Like a tingle of electricity. He figured he was just excited to be back somewhere he enjoyed being.

He started at the top shelf, pulling books meticulously and searching the contents before replacing them back on the shelf when he realized they didn't have what he was looking for. It went on for a while, and with each book he found that held no mention of shifter familiars he grew more and more hopeless, frustration building until he was nearly growling with it.

He was about to throw in the towel when a book somewhere in the middle of the second to last shelf caught his attention. The cover was leather and looked ancient. The lettering on it was barely visible since the gold foil had peeled off almost completely, leaving the title etched into the leather hard to read. But the artwork called to Lorin. It depicted several people holding their hands out to a large cat that still had human limbs and eyes. An animal mid-shift.

He turned the cover to show Kit and the fox jumped in place, turning around and yipping at Lorin. Lorin realized the little turn more than likely signified a yes, so he tucked the book under his arm and perused the rest of the shelf and the one below it. He found nothing of value there so he stood up, stretching his limbs.

"I guess this is it," Lorin whispered to Kit, and the fox turned his tail to Lorin, leading the way back to the stairs.

They went back to the front desk, Stella beaming at him when she saw Lorin carrying his book.

"I see you found something you like!" she said, as if it was a personal victory for her.

"I did, yes." He smiled back, placing the book on the counter and pushing it toward her to scan.

She took it and scanned the barcode, frowning when the computer in front of her beeped but nothing came up on the screen.

"Weird." She scanned again with no success.

"Everything okay?"

She looked up at him. "You found this on the shelf I mentioned to you?"

"Yes," he said, brow creasing. "Third from the window on the right. It was on the second to last shelf. Toward the middle."

She tilted her head and scanned a third time with the same results.

"The barcode isn't leading to anything we have in our system," she said, looking at the screen for a second longer before shrugging. "Must be a glitch."

"Am I still okay to check the book out?" Lorin asked.

"Oh, yeah, no problem at all," she said, writing the title on a slip of paper along with his name and tucking it inside a messy drawer. "I have you written down for it. You can hold it for two weeks and then either extend it or return it."

She placed his newly laminated library card behind the front cover and handed him the book. "Enjoy!"

"Thank you for your help," he said, accepting the book and turning to leave.

"See you around!" she called after him, and he returned her wide smile before exiting, feeling oddly good about the exchange. Maybe he wasn't as much of a black sheep as he thought?

He placed the book in one of the bags at the back of his bike as he ruminated on it and situated Kit in the front.

"Well, let's see what we can find, huh?" he said to Kit as he pushed out into the street. Kit yipped at him, sticking his tongue out into the wind as Lorin pedaled home.

Lorin chuckled at the silliness, wondering whether human Kit was just as adorably weird as his animal side was.

He realized he was quite excited to figure it out.

Kit

The newfound hope had him feeling even more jittery than he usually did. After all the time spent trapped in his animal form, after all of the traveling and searching and trying to find a solution…there was Lorin.

His mate.

His witch.

His answer.

Well…kinda. A potential answer. The possibility of one, for sure.

Finding him was nothing short of a miracle in Kit's mind. Being felt back was one of the best things to ever happen to him. Realizing his human side was able to resurface, even if only for seconds at a time, was intoxicating. And having Lorin finally learn that Kit had been in there all along just lit a fire under his paws. He wanted to sit on top of Lorin's head and force him to do nothing but read and look for a permanent solution to Kit's problems.

Which was why watching Lorin stare at a blank page for the past fifteen minutes had been…disappointing.

He had the library book open in front of him, and was studiously flipping the pages, making notes in a little notebook he had next to the book, frowning and offering opinions to Kit who did his level best to convey the correct messages back to him—that he was a raging lunatic because the library book was as empty as the notebook Lorin was writing in. Kit recalled the empty pages in the book Lorin had got from the Magic Shop, but he'd chalked that up to being an anomaly in the otherwise normal book and proceeded not to pay it any more attention than that fleeting thought.

But now…he wasn't sure that had been the right decision.

Was that other book just as empty as this one? As in…completely?

Because other than the title on the leather binding, there was literally not a single word written in there. No drawings, no graphs, no spell recipes, nothing. Just page after page being flipped and Lorin staring at it for a while before turning to his notebook and jotting stuff down. Kit tried to read his notes, but Lorin's handwriting was about as discernible as whatever he was seeing in that book was.

Was Kit wrong to hope?

Was his mate actually just… He didn't want to say it, but watching Lorin mark another empty page with a sticky note made the word very loud in Kit's head.

He placed his paw on Lorin's arm and the witch turned his head to give Kit a small smile.

Kit darted in and licked his nose affectionately.

At least he was pretty to look at.