17. Michael

"Luci, you don't understand…" I sighed as he tested my patience with every word he spoke.

We had been here for almost an hour waiting for Doctor Greene. The staff has been buzzing around from room to room, triaging injuries in order of priority. I understood that Diana's pain wasn't life-or-death. It stemmed from a power drain, an adrenaline drop, and something they may not be able to fix...

"I know the longer we keep her sedated, the worse she'll feel when she wakes up," Lucifer snapped.

"Do you know how painful it is to have your soulbond tested? To feel the agony of it breaking?" I tried to separate my own feelings from this, to not bring up what had happened between us, but Lucifer was clueless. Or willfully ignorant.

"No…" he responded, not used to my sharp tone. Things had been better between us since I came back to the compound, and I hadn't used it in a while.

"Yeah, you wouldn't. You're the one who broke our soulbond, so I had the pleasure of feeling the agony for both of us. If I can keep her from feeling that pain, you best believe I will. My baby girl isn't going to go through that unless she absolutely has to, Lucifer," I raised my voice, unable to help myself any longer.

"I didn't know you felt pain…" he admitted in a solemn voice, understanding seeping into his words.

"Pain isn't even the word to describe it. Our souls were bonded, Luci. Then you broke them apart. My soul has been wounded ever since, and it won't ever heal," I choked on my tears, but held them back. I refused to cry in front of him.

"There's nothing the Doctors can do?" He went right into problem solving mode, completely missing the point again.

"I checked with many doctors and even asked God to take the pain away. There's nothing to be done," I partially lied.

The only thing that would fix my soul was to bond with him again, which I vowed I would never do. I couldn't put myself through the pain of him breaking my heart and leaving again. If he broke our bond a second time, I wasn't sure I could cope.

Before Luci could reply, my bonus son peeled through the door, banging it off the wall and creating a crater sized hole in his haste to see his sister. Oisín had impeccable timing.

"Is she okay?" he asked, sitting in one of the free chairs by the side of her bed. Luci and I were too nerve wracked to sit in them.

"Your father sedated her until the doctor comes," I replied. "Any update on Azazel?"

I waited on pins and needles in the seconds before Oisín responded. It wasn't like him to choose his words carefully.

"He's alive, and they're trying to see if they can heal the damage to his wing…" he paused, glancing at his sister with a furrowed brow that floored me. Oisín Morningstar never worried. He was the fun-loving, mentally questionable man who used blood to paint best-selling artwork and picked fights with Diana's boyfriends for fun.

"All of the pain he's feeling…Diana feels it too. Their soulbond has undergone a lot of stress recently with her leaving, and now this…and it's starting to fray," a tear trailed down his face, and it felt as if the world ended. I had never seen Oisín cry. "I don't want her to be in pain, Michael."

He rose from the chair and hugged me. Rubbing his back, I took a moment to just hold him. Regardless of where Lucifer and I were in our relationship over the centuries, I always stayed close with Oisín–he was my son, even if it wasn't by blood. Maybe it was because I raised him alongside his mother and Luci, or because he took a liking to me. Not all of Lucifer's children had shared his thoughts on having a bonus dad.

"Oisín, she'll be okay. Diana is stronger than any of us know, and she'll pull through this," I assured him.

"Yeah, she'll overcome. She's a Morningstar," Luci agreed. He gave me a strange, mournful look.

Before I could ask him what was wrong, Diana's men walked through the door. Ares immediately sat on the edge of her bed, then used his fire magic to warm her blankets.

"Is she still sedated?" Desmond stood next to Luci, his golden eyes focused on Diana.

"Yes, and I prefer she stays that way until Doctor Greene comes." Luci glanced at me. "Oisín updated us on Azazel and if she doesn't have to feel his pain, she shouldn't have to."

"Agreed. I know since they've been spending a ton of time together, their soulbond has matured to the point where they feel each other's pain. He's going through it," Bash murmured.

"Feathers was in a ton of pain after Diana left–his heart had broken. It sucks he has to go through this," Ares said as he rubbed Diana's arm.

"I wonder if that's why she was so depressed when we were traveling," Mal asked. "They were probably feeling each other's pain then, too…"

"Red had to know about the ball. Who told him?" Desmond thought aloud.

"You didn't, did you?" Luci walked to the far wall as he teased out his thoughts.

"No, I just gave him the information about her training and told him we were considering an allyship with the Faerie folk, like you told me to. He doesn't use our connection very much, and when he does it doesn't seem like it's for pertinent information. I don't think he trusts it anymore…"

"Possibly. I think it's someone high up in Judas' ranks. They're the only other ones who knew she was gone during the attack. We didn't announce her ‘mission' until people noticed she went missing after she failed to show up at the battle. And his people planned this ball…" Mal explained.

"You know who may know… Damon," Oisín growled, his lips pulled back into a sneer, as if even saying his brother's name disgusted him.

"Ooo, we're paying a visit to our favorite punching bag?!" Ares perked up. "I propose some brother-in-law and fathers in law bonding time!"

After we had caught Damon, we interrogated him until a few days after Diana left. We couldn't leave him in a torture cell—he was too powerful and cunning to take the chance. So, Lucifer and Ares fashioned a cell with just enough nymphwood to keep his power drained, but not kill him. Ares and Oisín paid him visits when felt too bloodthirsty and they needed someone for target practice.

"Sounds like a plan," Lucifer said as a familiar vampire with white-blond hair walked through the door.

"Sorry for the delay gentlemen, I wanted to get Azazel settled before I addressed Diana. His wing is expected to be fully functional within a few days due to how rapidly Angels heal. Because of his lack of grace, it may take up to a week, but we'll see how it goes. I have him on a pain management regime, so I think we can lift Diana's sedation."

"Will she freak out again?" Luci demanded. "She could have hurt herself."

"No. I plan on counterbalancing any lingering distress by putting them in the same room to recover, so they can feel close," she assured him. "We can move her now, if you'll all clear the room."

"I'm staying with her, and so is Michael," he insisted.

Doctor Greene approved his demand, because she knew by now there was no compromising with the Prince of darkness, a lesson I had learned many times, the hard way. She left to arrange Azazel's transport.

"Come on Penis Parade, let's clear out," Oisín commanded, a shit-eating grin on his face.

They all pushed and shoved each other on the way out, tossing insults back and forth. Lucifer moved next to me, taking my hand in his.

"Sometimes I think Oisín and Diana love you more than me. The way he leaned on you, he never does that with me. It makes me realize how much I lost by breaking our soulbond. I had no clue how it hurts you, and I'm… I regret it, Michael. If I could take it back and have you by my side, I would in a heartbeat…" he lifted the back of my hand to his lips, giving it a quick kiss before holding it against his heart.

"Yeah, I wish you didn't either." It was the most honest response I could give him without tearing myself apart.

I was trying to get over him and had failed since the day he fell from grace.