13. Bash

Ever since Ares announced that I was the problem in our group-lationship, for lack of a better term, I couldn't sleep at night, my mind filled with doubts about myself. I always took whatever that fool said with a grain of salt, because he was fucking mental and missing a shit ton of brain cells…but he was right.

His words swirled in my head, making me feel like absolute shite.

If she had the choice, she wouldn't want a toxic mess like you. You couldn't even manage to make a relationship with your best friend and the nicest guy we know work, because you're selfish, narcissistic, and dumb as fuck.

You've been borderline abusive, treating Azazel like complete shit.

Ares may have had a point…

I am the problem.

I didn't think it was a coincidence that all of my people were mad at me. Whenever I was around Diana, I felt the hesitancy in our claimbond and she blocked my mindlinks. She may have returned, but she put distance between us, so it still felt like she was in another time. I purposely opted out of her torture training session, because she probably didn't want me there.

I bullied Azazel to the point where he wouldn't even speak to me. I had tried to see him after apologizing, but Desmond blocked my attempts to visit him in his dreams by waking him up. Rude. The next day, I found him reading in a nook on one of the ground level floors, but as soon as he saw me, he faded away. I couldn't blame him…I don't want to be around me, either.

Ares would have killed me by now if I wasn't immortal. I knew my best friend was cross with me. The only person who wasn't mad at me was Mal. He really should be, but he's so absorbed with Diana that he doesn't have any attention to spare me. If he did, he'd probably hate me.

I should have been to breakfast a while ago, but I'd laid in bed instead, wondering how I could fix everything. Bringing Diana out of her coma probably wasn't enough to rectify what I did to her. Azazel wasn't even looking at me, let alone speaking to me. And Ares…I wasn't sure I could face him right now, because he was right. I was an abusive, toxic piece of shit. If Birdie did forgive any of us, it wouldn't be me.

Bash, you need to be at the training center in an hour, Desmond linked me.

I rolled over, perfectly content with mopping and wracking my brain for answers I didn't have. Everyone could piss off—I needed a day to be alone.

Right before I started locking down my wards, there was a soft knock at my door.

"Can I come in?" Diana asked as she leaned against the open doorway.

She wore black sweatpants and a white crop top with a rainbow on it that left a few inches of her smooth, creamy skin visible. There was a pot of gold at the end, and I chuckled internally. I forgot for a moment that she used to be a normal, mortal woman once upon a time. Not so long ago, actually. She probably still held the misconception that Leprechauns were adorable little creatures who guarded their pots of gold.

"Sure," I said, confused as to why she would be here.

"I noticed you weren't at breakfast today…" she mentioned as she sat down on the edge of my bed. This was the closest we'd been to each other since I laid next to her before she kicked me out of her hospital room.

I rolled toward her, propping my head up on my elbow. "I'm taking a day to myself."

"You missed my last training session too…"

"You noticed?" I asked.

"Yes, I did. You've never missed a training session. I wore extra tight pants just for you." She giggled, but the sound didn't work for me like it usually did. I felt…flat.

I shrugged, unable to come up with anything to say.

"Look, I'm going to cut to the chase. I can feel your sadness through our claimbond, and it's freaking me out."

"You can always ask your dad how to break the bond. If he can break soulbond, he can probably break a claimbond," I huffed. She should just put me out of my misery and do it now.

"Sebastian Black," she full-named me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" A blast of magic hit me upside the head, and I shot up into a seated position. Diana shot me a disgusted expression.

Yeah, Birdie, I'm disgusted with myself, too.

"According to Ares, I'm a problem," I told her. "Everyone hates me, and I don't blame them. I drove you away, Azazel isn't talking to me, and I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm toxic…"

"Oh yeah you one are one hundred percent, grade A toxic. Like hazmat level," she agreed. It felt as if she ripped my heart from my chest and ran it through a blender. "But that's who you are. It's part of the reason why I stay bonded to you…because I like it."

Was she joking? "You should hate me. From day one, I've been a selfish bastard to you."

Her full belly laugh was a bit off putting, but it was better than being whacked upside the head, so I'd take it. "You literally told me your obsession with me is more than love ever could be, of course you're toxic. But your possessiveness, passion, arrogance, and stalkerish tendencies are part of the reason you're mine. A therapist would have a field day with our relationship, but I keep you because I like who you are."

"So, you're not mad at me?" I hedged.

"I'm not furious like I was when I left, but I'm still mad. The difference is that you have a fighting chance at getting me back now, whereas three and a half months ago you didn't."

The joy of knowing I had a chance to get her back died quickly when I realized I didn't know how.

"I want you back so badly but have no clue how to do it. If I'm myself, I'm an asshole. If I change, I'm not the incubus you fell for. So where does that leave me?" I hated not knowing where I stood or how to get what I wanted.

"Well, you won't get me back by sitting here feeling sorry for yourself, pissing the guys off, and skipping training sessions. Think, Bash. What made me fall for you in the first place?"

My mind sparked with ideas, and I got out of bed. Leaning over her, I caged her with my arms on either side of where she sat. "You're going to get it now, Birdie. I'm not going to stop until I have you right where I want you." I kissed her nose, and she glared at me. It was cute, how she thought she had a choice.

"I know," she said, in a matter-of-fact tone before fading away.

Stripping out of my sweats, I felt renewed. Fuck feeling sorry for myself. I would get Diana back. I'd fix things with Az. And Ares would forgive me.

Diana's trainingearlier today blew my mind. If her magic was still unstable, I couldn't tell because she has no issue beating the crap out of Oisín. I doubted he went easy on her just because she was his sister. The ease in which she commanded her magic compared to when she first started was such an accomplishment, and I figured the first step to getting my woman back was celebrating–old school style. The Incubus Stalker Special, as I liked to call it. I planned to break into her mind like I had done back in the day and set up a delicious dinner date dream. It made sense. Birdie and I spent hours in dreamscapes I weaved getting to know each other. She didn't know what I was at the time…or why I was stalking her…but I had won her over.

I remembered something Lucifer had said to me a few days ago when I was combing through our traitor's psyche looking for evidence. I had told him how it can be more difficult to break into a mind that was tapped into a shared consciousness.

"You're not my favorite of my daughter's boyfriends, or ex-boyfriends I guess," he smirked. "But you're probably the smartest. I trust you'll take care of this for me, regardless of how hard it is. Incubi are persistent."

He made some good points. I was the smartest of the five of us. People always thought it was Desmond, but he was just fearless enough to lead us. I was also persistent, having stalked Diana until she had no choice but to accept me. And, I was definitely his least favorite. So, I had to stick around to annoy the fuck out of him for the rest of eternity. He didn't deserve a less stressful life, the arrogant prick.

Tonight, I was determined to get my Birdie back and set one of the many fuck ups I made these past few months right.

Her room was warded, so I couldn't fade in. Fortunately, I anticipated that and planned around it.

Mal, open up. Operation Birdie is underway, I linked him.

He opened the door several seconds later buck naked, his hair a blond, tangled mess. He had bite marks on his neck, scratch marks down his side, and a smile that spoke to a man who had a wild night.

"I made sure she's soundly asleep. You're welcome," he quipped.

Jealousy was in my DNA–Incubi hated sharing and got very possessive over their claims–but if I acted on it now, I'd lose my shot. Mal's payback would have to wait.

"Enjoy it now, because once we're all back in her good graces again, you won't be her favorite little pet anymore." I kissed his cheek and brushed past him on my way in, knocking him into the door frame for good measure. Little shit.

Diana peacefully slept on her stomach with her leg hiked up, a blissfully tired expression on her face. I laid next to her, taking in her deep, slumbering breaths and smelling traces of her arousal. It perfumed the air even after time had passed. Mal really did wear her out.

I gently got into bed beside her. Her rose pink lips were slightly parted and her hands were cradled under her pillow. Despite the distance of the past weeks, I felt our claimbond thrumming between us, pulling at my heart. I didn't have to put my hand on her head, but I still carefully scooped her body against me so her head rested on my chest. She tangled her legs in mine, and I sighed.

Subconsciously she wanted me. She felt our bond, too. All hope wasn't lost.

Breaking into her mind was different than the last time. I expected to meet resistance, but she was so sated and happy from her sexcapades with Mal her defenses were pliable. They bent to my magic and after enough manipulation, they broke. We would have a serious conversation about her lax security in the morning, but for now I would benefit from her carelessness.

Diana's psyche was beautiful before she came into her magic, but now that she harnessed her power, it was breathtaking. I found myself on a beautiful rolling green hill with emerald green as far as I could see in one direction and the cliffs and sea in another. I heard the crash of waves and smelled the saltiness of the water.

Her power was present in the details. Vibrant blue sky replaced the black void, and the vibe felt welcoming. This is more like the psyche I had won my Birdie over in, visit by visit, after nights of courting her. We got to know each other and with every new bit of information, we fell harder for her.

And we'd fall for each other all over again.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on Diana, weaving a dream so she'd appear in this slice of heaven she created. She appeared dressed in tight blue jeans, a thermal shirt with a vest, and hiking boots. I put myself in a similar outfit, opting for a cream cable knit sweater instead. She peered around, a smile spreading across her face.

"This looks just like the Cliffs of Moher. How did you know I loved it so much?"

"I didn't. Your psyche made all of this. The view, the details, even the smell. It's beautiful." Her eyes went wide. "When did you go to Ireland?"

"A couple of months ago. Oisín's from here. We opted to only go back a couple decades though, not Druid times."

Smart idea. The idea that her brother kept her safe while she was alone and vulnerable rankled me, but I kept it to myself. I was part of the reason she was in that position.

"Go for a walk with me? I'd love to see everything. Believe it or not, I haven't spent a ton of time in Ireland, and none outside the cities."

We walked the green hills and she told me about the places she visited. She bonded with Oisín and Michael, too. I shouldn't have been jealous of her getting closer to her family, but I couldn't help myself. She was mine and belonged at my side, and I had fucked it up.

"Sounds like you had quite the adventure. Did you get that ring along the way?"

It was a large oval ruby stone framed by diamonds, set in yellow gold. It was a timeless, classic piece, but I could tell it was from the recent past—well recent by my immortal standards.

"Mal gave it to me. One of our stops was his home in Paris during his time period. We had to say I was his wife so we could stay together."

I should have won an Emmy award for my acting skills. My jealousy threatened to rear its ugly head and blow this entire date to pieces, but I kept my cool. I thought, what would Az say? Because only he could twist a feeling this disgusting into something positive.

"Diana deserves nice things, and I should be glad Mal gave them to her when we couldn't."

The hypothetical response gave me indigestion. For fuck's sake.

"He's thoughtful. It's a nice ring." That was the best I could say.

She gave me an amused smirk and changed the subject. After the walk, I weaved a picnic by the cliffside, where we watched the waves crash into the rocks below. Sandwiches, chips, and champagne may not have been a five star meal, but she enjoyed it.

"Bash, this was an amazing time. It reminded me of when you used to visit me before you and the guys imploded my entire life," she said as she finished the last sip of her bubbly.

"I don't regret imploding your life, because it brought me to you. I do regret hurting you. And letting these dates fall to the wayside." I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

She snuggled up to me on our picnic blanket, resting her head on my chest. "Can we watch the waves crash until I fall asleep?"

"Of course, Birdie. Whatever you want."