Chapter 16

Cheyenne

Ivanand I spent the day together.

After breakfast, I dried my hair and finished getting ready. Then we wandered downtown so I could pick up gifts for my grandmother and some extended family members in Australia. We headed to Little Italy afterward, and Ivan bought the most mouth-watering cannoli I'd ever seen in my life, coaxing me into having a few bites, and teasing me about all the ways we would work off the calories.

And then we did exactly that.

We got back to the room around six and spent the entire night in bed.

Well, against the wall one time and in the shower as well.

Then we ordered more room service and watched Saturday Night Live.

We'd stopped at my hotel so I could pack and bring my things to his room, allowing us to sleep in a little on Sunday morning, but he had a game and I had a flight to catch.

"I'll see you when we're both back in L.A.," he told me as I got ready to leave. "Can you come to the game Wednesday night?"

"Yes." I wound my arms around his neck. "I can't wait."

"Me too." He kissed me, long and deep, making my body hum with need even though we'd had sex nearly a dozen times in the last thirty-six hours or so. It had been a long time since I'd had that much sex—and I still wanted more.

"I think I'm going to miss you," I breathed against his lips.

He nuzzled my nose with his. "I know I'm going to miss you but missing each other will make it that much better when we're together again."

He was such a romantic underneath the gruff exterior.

"Three days," I said.

"Three days." He kissed me once more and I sighed as my phone buzzed, indicating Rick had arrived to drive me to the airport.

"Have a good game today," I said. "I'll try to find the feed on my laptop."

"Fly safe." He kissed me once more and walked me to the door. "You sure you don't want me to go downstairs with you?"

"Don't be silly. You have to get ready. I'll be fine." I squeezed his arm and then headed down to the lobby, where my bags were already waiting for me. Normally, I couldn't wait to get home, but it felt weird to leave him after the last two days.

We'd been completely immersed in each other, both physically and emotionally, and I couldn't think of a single thing about him I would change. He was soft-spoken and thoughtful, with a strong, sexy side that set my body on fire. I'd never had such a generous and unselfish lover, so I was already addicted to his touch. I'd practically be counting the minutes until Wednesday.

I'd just gotten on the plane when Harper texted me.

HARPER: Hey! Are you on your way home? I haven't heard from you, but a little birdie (named Gabe) told me you and Ivan have been spending time together…

I laughed.

CHEY: We have. And it's glorious. My nether regions have never been so well-managed.

HARPER: WELL MANAGED?! ROFL I'm going to need details, girlfriend!

CHEY: I can come over after I land.

HARPER: Yes! Should I invite Addy?

CHEY: Sure. Then after I tell you about Ivan, we can plan an intervention for Stevie.

HARPER: Oh, no. Still?

CHEY: She's driving me nuts. Seriously. I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't get her head out of her ass.

HARPER: All right, I need to hear all about it. What time do you land?

We made plans for later and I put my phone away, relaxing into the large, comfortable seats. I always flew first class, and fellow travelers tended to leave me alone, but I did my best to stay inconspicuous.

"Champagne?" the flight attendant asked me.

"No thank you. Just some water, please."

"Of course." She brought me a glass filled with ice and a bottle of water, pouring it for me.

"Thank you." I sipped my water and turned on the video screen, hoping to get lost in a movie. I had a lot to do to get ready for my trip to Australia, and I cursed the timing. Ivan and I had something new and wonderful going on, and I was going to leave for a week. Then he would be on a road trip when I got back. I didn't know when we would see each other again after this week, and it bothered me.

I'd known it would be difficult if we got involved, but I hadn't been able to resist.

Now that I'd gotten a taste of the man he was, I wanted more, and our disparate schedules were already stressing me out.

I'd never been the type of woman who was clingy, but that wasn't what this was.

This was about a connection I'd never felt before.

A man who made me feel sexy and strong and protected.

This was why I'd always avoided serious relationships.

I'd known if I met a great guy, I would resent the time we had to spend apart.

We'd only been apart a couple of hours and I was already annoyed.

How the hell was I going to deal with it when it was weeks, or even months, at a time?

That was something I was going to have to give some thought to.

* * *

It wasfun hanging out with Harper and another model friend, Addison Wilkes. We gathered in Harper's kitchen with a bottle of wine, a massive charcuterie board, and cupcakes. All of which made me sigh.

"Must you torture me?" I asked her, taking a bit of cheese and then popping a grape in my mouth.

"You can't live on celery sticks and salad," Addy said, shaking her head. "It's not healthy or normal."

"But I can't drink wine and eat cupcakes either," I replied, spearing another piece of cheese and popping it in my mouth.

"Well, I'm beyond caring whether I put on a couple of pounds," Harper said. "And Gabe loves me no matter what I weigh."

For the first time, I wondered what Ivan would think if I put on a few pounds. Or twenty pounds. Or thirty. I was tall, so I could handle some more weight and still look good. Being a model was different, though. I had to be able to fit into the tiniest size clothes, and most of them were sizes zero or two. The industry had become better about being size inclusive, but not when it came to women like me. I had the success I had because, in addition to my looks, I was tall and thin.

"I don't have a man like that," I murmured. "And I'm too young to retire. I have a goal, you guys."

"You and your damn plan." Addy shook her head. "What about Ivan? How does he fit into your plan?"

"I don't know yet," I admitted. "He's pretty amazing, but it's all new and we haven't talked about anything."

"Nothing?" Harper asked, cocking her head.

"If you're asking about relationships, no. I mean, he knows I have a plan as far as retiring from modeling, and that I'm not going to have kids before I'm thirty, but we haven't had any conversations like that in relation to us. Just generic stuff."

"How come?" Addy asked.

"Because we were keeping it casual until he made me come about thirty times!" I lifted my hands helplessly. "Now my brain and my libido are at war."

"What about your heart?" Harper asked softly.

"It's too soon for my heart," I said slowly, "but I will admit I've never met anyone like him. He's…special. I can't put my finger on it, but there's something very gentle about him, while simultaneously being strong and protective. It's a complete dichotomy, but I love it."

"I know Ivan pretty well," Harper said. "And I like him a lot."

"I do too. That's what makes this hard."

"It doesn't sound like any of it is hard," Addy said.

"Well, it's not hard when we're together, but you guys know how it is with me. I can be a lot. Too much for most guys. They say they're okay with my schedule, seeing me half-naked on magazine covers, and then the next thing you know, they're all jealous and possessive. I don't want a man like that, especially not now."

"That's not Ivan," Harper said softly. "You know that."

"That's just it. I don't know that. Not really. And with our crazy schedules, I don't know how we spend enough time together to find out."

"It won't be easy," Harper acknowledged. "But don't you think it's worth finding out if the distance would be worth it?"

"We'd have to spend time together, get to know each other, before we can decide something like that. And I don't see it happening."

"It sounds like you want to end it before it even starts," Addy said.

"No. That's the problem. I don't. I spent the whole flight trying to rearrange my schedule so I can spend more time with him. And that's dangerous."

"For whom?" Harper asked, peering at me over the rim of her wine glass.

"For me. I don't want to fall in love."

Addy snorted. "I don't think any of us have control over that. Love happens when it's going to happen."

"Look at me and Gabe." Harper lifted her shoulders in a mini shrug. "I never imagined we'd find our way back to each other, yet here we are. Living together. Planning to get remarried. Talking about getting pregnant. Two years ago, I was married to someone else." Harper's late husband had died of cancer.

"You and Gabe have history, though. It makes sense that you would find your way back to each other. Ivan and me, we're brand new. We have nothing to hold on to other than friendship and some incredibly mind-blowing sex."

"What else is there?" Addy asked. "I would kill for mind-blowing sex with someone I consider a friend."

"You guys aren't helping," I muttered. "You're supposed to tell me I'm only twenty-four, that I'm at the top of my profession, and should keep my eye on the ball. I can't be the world's highest paid supermodel when I'm thirty-five. This is my window."

"Your career is absolutely important," Harper said, "but I don't see how Ivan keeps you from continuing to do what you're doing."

And I honestly couldn't see how either.

"Look, this conversation is jumping the gun. It's been a handful of fun dates and one weekend of sex. We're not ready to go steady or anything like that."

"I think one of you is," Addy teased, giggling.

I rolled my eyes.

"I dare you to tell him you don't want to see him again," Harper said, arching her brows.

I frowned. "Why would I do that? Why can't we just have fun together?"

"Because you're already coming up with reasons why it's not going to work. That tells me you have one foot out the door."

"I don't. I just don't want to get my heart broken. Or break his."

"Well, you can't control him, but you can certainly control what you do, and how you behave." Harper lifted her glass as she spoke. "So how about a toast to not breaking any hearts?"

"To not breaking hearts," Addy said, clinking her glass to Harper's.

"Amen to that," I whispered, pressing my glass against theirs.

Ivan was the kind of guy who could break my heart. No doubt about it.

Now I had to decide if he was worth the risk.